


Frat Attack

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: One Tree Hill RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-07-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 19:51:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 135,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8766742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: Just some fun playing with Jared and Jensen in college. Thought this was going to be a one-shot, so much for thinking. :^) Fun with Frats and a little drama thrown in for good measure. Please review and help me out here.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

“Are you REALLY sure about this? I mean you have a chance to back out now.” Jensen said as he and Jared approached the Delta’s fraternity house.

 

“Look you put up with me and my music friends, the least I can do is return the favour.” Jared responded as they headed towards a neatly tended lot on which sat an edifice of a house. “The builders trying to compensate for something?” He mused.

 

“Yeah I know, I hear that a lot, throwing a huge place like this on a small lot. It is kind of ridiculous.”

 

They walked up the steps and to the front door, there was the sound of rock music being played at nearly tolerable levels behind the door. Jensen opened up and led Jared into the mix. The first instinct was complete surprise, the music fairly loud, but the living room didn't match up with what he'd always pictured a fraternity house looking like. It was neat and orderly as was the kitchen for the most part through what he could see of the connecting doorway. 

 

“Wait a minute, I thought you were taking me to a frat house, this is more like Betty Crocker meets Metallica.” Jared said punching Jensen in the arm.

 

About that time a pugnacious young man came barreling through the living room on his way to the kitchen. “Beer break.” He called.

 

“That would be Christian…Chris Kane, local crocker extraordinaire.” Jensen said quickly.

“I am not a fucking “Crocker.” Chris said coming back in the living room the a six pack dangling from one hand.

“You’re mode is County Rock, power Country you call it, but it’s still Country Rock that makes it Crock.” Jensen said.

“So I suppose that makes some of those groups that do Country crossed with Rap, Crap?” Jared said quickly.

Chris looked at him for a long moment and smiled extending his hand. “Chris Kane, coolest member of these losers.”

“Jared Padalecki, current the boyfriend of one of the losers.” He said with a grin.

“Wait you and Jenny!!” Chris gasped then place a hand over his heart in a dramatic gesture. “God help us all. Jenny is finally coming out of the closet.”

“Out of the …Jensen I think there’s something we need to discuss. PDQ.” Jared said looking anxiously at Jensen. The latter who shrugged and grabbed Jared by the arm and hauled him to his feet

“God-damn-it but you’re a tall fucker!”

“You should see the rest of me.” Jared teased. Christian actually started sputtering a little and blushed.

“That’s okay I’ll leave that to the Jenmeister, for me Sandy, a six pack and hot sex await.”

“Sandy, by the way is his GIRLFRIEND.” Jensen said narrowly and took an anxious and curious Jared by and hand pulling him through the halls towards the rear of the house.

 

In his room, Jared marveled, it was immaculate, clean, neat, some posters on the walls, and a guitar case propped in one corner. 

 

“Jen…Jensen.” Jared said trying to get his attention.

“Yeah.” Jensen said nervously as he opened a dorm refrigerator and drew out a bottle of white wine and poured. He passed a glass to Jared and motioned to either the singular chair or the bed. Jared sat at the head of the double bed while Jensen sat at the foot.

“Did I just out you to Christian?” Jared said nervous himself now.

“Sort of, he’s been suspecting for over a year, you just confirmed it for him.” Jensen said somewhat sourly.

“I’m sorry dude, I didn’t mean to make things hard on you, I mean he’ll probably let the whole house know.” Jared said sipping at his wine mournfully. 

“The whole university, yeah, the state maybe, but confine it to just the house, perish the thought.”

“Fuck!” Jared said 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve been meaning to come clean with the guys in Delta Phi for months now, there just never seemed to be a good time.”

“And I just forced the issue. I am SO sorry Jens, I never meant.”

“I know you didn’t and it’s not a major issue. Hell it seems like every third person here at UCLA is into some kind of kink, I just happen to like guys, I’m not in the minority by far and there is actually a gay frat house off campus, but I spent two nights there and bugged out. Too flash and flame for my tastes.” Jensen said by way of explanation.

 

“So I just open my mouth and take off like a bat outta hell and confirm Christians suspicions, alerting the rest of the house and who knows where it will stop. Fuck, Jens, shoot me now before I breed.” Jared said morosely.

“Give over, it’s not that bad. And you’re not a breeder so there.” Jensen said throwing a pillow at him. Jared threw it back.

“I just broke the sacred law of fagdom, don’t ever out a friend.” Jared smirked.

 

“So when is this party supposed to kick off?” Jared asked.

“In about an hour in the back garden. It should be a small gathering three houses is what I figure. The guys have worked most of the day setting up kegs and getting this looking like a sedate garden party.”

 

“When in fact?” Jared started.

“The cops will probably be out here two or three times. They’re cool though, we keep the music down to a dull roar and nobody gets seriously goobered.” Jensen told him,

 

“Wait a sec. we are talking about a frat house, the sacred institution of getting laid, getting drunk and in some cases getting stoned.” Jared joked.

“The first two definitely the last not really, they got a hard and fast rule in this house, no grass or any other foreign substance. It seems like two houses got busted last year around Christmas for moving some Ecstasy through the group. They were lucky to get off with a misdemeanor first offence. Now it’s got the Provost Marshal breathing down the necks of the houses to keep it clean.”

 

“Hence the reason for the immaculate living room and kitch, smoke and mirrors.” Jared said knowingly. “Ok I can dig it. So are you gonna play?”

“Me! Hell no! I play some Jazz and Classical, these goons want metal and the heavier the better.” Jensen noted.

 

“The what do you say the we spend the remaining portion of the hour’s sanity with some serious…” Jared patted the mattress. Jensen grinned and slithered over next to him. They came out of their T-shirts easy enough and lay there on the bed a moment preparing then Jensen launched the attack of kissing, nibbling, some tickling and definitely some groping. Jared stopped his advance at one point and looked fondly at Jensen panting.

“I---really----am---s-sorry---for-w-w-w-what happened with Christian.”

“Forget about it already. I’ll deal with the fallout.” Jensen explained.

“No!” Jared started definitively “WE will deal with the fallout. Fuck the rest.” Jared exclaimed.

“The only thing I wanna fuck right now is you!” Jensen said as he attacked once again in a serious, heated makeout session with Jared deftly massaging Jensens column of meat slowly and deliberately. 

 

“Night stand.” Jensen said kicking out of his shorts and boxers. Jared opened the drawer to the nightstand to find condoms and lube.

“You’re a regular little boy scout!” Jared said grinning madly. Jensen quickly stripped Jared’s shorts and strap off and tossed them aside.

 

“I’ve always had that stuff in there for just such an occasion. You’re my first occasion here.” Jensen gasped as he took some lube and waited to get Jared in the position. Sudden Jared raised his legs, bent knees to his chin, exposing his bright pink pucker. Jensen started with two fingers.

“I’m honoured to be your first occasion here. God knows we’ve used my bedroom enough.” He laughed. For that Jensen pushed deep, and brushed his prostate as he pulled back, shooting his fingers back in, finger-fucking Jared and watching his wriggle as the heat of the moment took him. Jensen worked in three fingers and when he was satisfied with the looseness and having received his marching orders from Jared when he shouted. “QUIT PLAYING AND FUCK ME ALREADY!” Jensen poised his dick for a moment and flicked at the flowered open gateway. Then after another jarring moan from Jared he slipped into his heat. 

 

“You know Jens, we’re the only people we fuck, why don’t we bareback? You know I’m clean.” Jared told Jensen over a cappuccino one afternoon.

“I do, still I had that bout of Hep A last year. I don’t want to risk even the possibility of passing that.” Jensen told him.

“Okay, I can respect that. Just someday…please.” Jared begged.

“Someday.” Jensen promised.

 

Jensen was a raging animal now his calm demeanour replaced by a desire to drive Jared to the edge and beyond. Jensen was packing enough in that department to satisfy, seven inches doth not a slacker make. And he fucked with the same passion he played guitar with. He was entirely concentrated on the moment and lived to grasp that moment and wring every ounce of pleasure from it. All too soon Jensen could feel an orgasm building up from deep within and he plunged and the started stroking Jared. The timing was picture perfect as Jensen cried out Jared’s name as he came stroking as deep and hard into Jared as he could on each pulse of his orgasm. Jared was right there with him and cried out Jensen’s name a moment later as he shot several ropes of come onto his chest. Jensen carefully bent and sucked the remaining come out of Jared.

 

“I love the way you taste.” He said licking the cooling come off Jared’s stomach causing him to laugh and giggle his way through the hypersensitivity of the orgasm. Jensen contented himself to moan and enjoy every moment and lick. Finally he walked into the small attached bathroom and came back with a warm wet bath cloth. He’d had done the gentlemanly thing and strip off his condom in the bathroom, tieing I and dropping it into the toilet flushing it away. They cleaned up and then dressed finally lay back on the bed in each other’s arms savouring the moment. 

 

Jensen looked at his partner, “Two more years bro. Two more years.”

“You made up your mind what you’re going to do?” Jared asked.

“Not even crossed my mind yet, I’m pre-med so I may apply to the hospital here for internship and see about getting a full ride out of university. You?”

 

“I’m working up a résumé and portfolio in hopes I can get some interest with the Symphony. I figure there’s gotta be a place for a second rate cellist around here.” Jared replied

Jensen rolled and punched him lightly in the ribs. “I’ve heard you play, you are first seat cellist in the university orchestra, you should be recording. And that string quartet you play in is worth recording. I wish you’d quit selling yourself short.” Jensen scolded him mildly.

 

“First seat cellist with a minor in pre-law, well if I flunk out of getting into an orchestra I can at least get a job at an attorney’s office.” Jared mused.

“If your quartet would just cut a demo.” Jensen told him.

“We’re in the Rhinehart Symposium this week, and next week we’re supposed to play the function for the California College Exposition. We’re getting some air time, we yet to play anywhere someone in power can hear us.”

 

Then Jensen paused and looked at the ceiling a moment in still silence.

“I can smell the rubber burning from the wheels spinning, so what are you thinking so hard about?” Jared asked.

“It’s nothing really.” Jensen said quickly.

“Which means it is, spill your guts.” Jared told him.

 

“To a pre-med student that joke kinda falls flat.” Jensen said purposefully avoiding the question.

“Nice try boy wonder. What’s got you so solemn all of the sudden?” Jared asked.

“I was just thinking about us…if there is an ‘us’.” Jensen said the last in a near whisper.

 

“Of course there is an ‘us’, what made you think otherwise?” Jared asked.

Jensen rolled up and propped on Jared’s shoulder. “You’ve got your music to carry you places, I’ll get a job in a hospital until I graduate.”

“Jens, you’re thinking too deep when we can’t even see the end of the tunnel.”

 

“Remember what you said about me being a boy scout.” Jensen said. Jared wrapped his arm around him. “If you haven’t noticed in the last year and a half we’ve been dating, I’m slightly OCD.”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say slightly.” Jared said smiling. “And I love you even for that. It adds that much more spice to the relationship, because I never know what’s going to be coming out of left field.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to put up with that though. You deserve someone sweet, intelligent, and willing to drop everything and go.”

“Okay, so you have a problem with the dropping everything and going, but you got loads of the first two.”

“Thanks. I guess I always wanted the best for you.”

“I do too, but I also want to be happy doing it. If I’m doing it and am miserable, then I’m doing it for all the wrong reasons.”

 

“As soon as I finish my pre-med coursework I’ll be on line with my courses to take the RN exam.” Jensen said quietly.

“That’s great Jens, really, I think you’d make a great nurse. You have that caring quality about you.”

“You know this is really too serious a conversation to be having after great sex and just before a knockout party.” Jensen said in answer to Jared’s statement.

 

“You’re right, you’re going to become either an amazing RN or go on to greater stuff, and I’m going to be a knockout para-legal for a mega-millions law firm. We’re going to have a charming little apartment in the middle of the hottest downtown district and we’re going to have scads of friends falling at our feet.” Jared said dreaming.

“Only if the trip over their own shoelaces.” Jensen popped back at him. Then he snuggled up tighter against Jared. “I love your plan.”

 

Just then there was a pounding on the door. 

“It’s unlocked.” The door opened and a young man about Jensen’s height came barreling in then came to a stuttering halt. 

 

“OH HOLY SHIT, I thought Chris was joking, uh sorry guys, but uh, the party’s about to get going Alpha Epsilon and Theta Sigma are on their way. Oh shit, Oh man, uh excuse me.” The young man VERY red faced raced back out. 

“That by the way was Chad Murray, and yes before you ask he’s usually like that, more energy than me.” Jensen joked.

 

“Bet he’d be hell on wheels in bed.” Jared said with a mischievous grin.

“Don’t think it, I’m possessive, I don’t do threesomes.” Jensen said back to him. They slowly disengaged with more kissing and cuddling and then got up from the bed only to find that they were being gawked at by five other house members.

 

“Is there a problem?” Jensen asked.

“Yeah, why’d you wait so long?” One black member of the group asked. 

“Harry Parker, meet Jared Padalecki, Jared, Harry.” The group unbungled themselves and burst into the room introducing themselves. “Sorry for the intrusion guys we just had to see if it were true!”

 

“What, that I’m a queer?” Jensen popped blushing.

“No, that you FINALLY found someone. We were starting to get desperate to match you up with someone. Didn’t know you’d fall for a stud.” Harry joked.

“Thanks Harry, I appreciate being compared to a two by four.” Jared joked back.

“No man, heh, at least you don’t have any knotholes. Visible that is.” Harry grinned.

“You could’ve come in ten minutes ago and you’d have seen a knothole.” Jensen said with a grin.

 

“Oh Jenster man, TMI!! TM Fuckig I.” Another member of the group piped up.

“That smartass would be Jeff Morgan.” Jensen said pointing to the rather plain looking sophomorish looking guy. “As to the TMI, I’m not the one who staged a groupie assault at my door.”

 

Chad came running back down and was jumping up and down in the back of the group. “Guys, hey the Alpha’s are here!” 

Harry grinned and waved to the hall. “If you two and unlock long enough come and join the party.” 

 

In the back garden there was typical grounds with the addition of a nice pool just off the back patio. Chad ran out the back door and started the stereo boombox and started playing bartender as the fraternity guys started coming out of and around the house. 

 

“You alerted the neighbours we were partying right?” A overly tall young man asked.

“Sent Harry and Dennis around earlier yesterday spreading the news. They said no problem as long as the bass line doesn’t break their china.” Chad said with a grin.

“Cocky little bastard.” The young man said as me moved off with a large cup of beer. The money jar was filling up rapidly as the party wore on then at one point Dennis walked over and pulled out some of the bills and told Chad and Chris he was going to make another keg run. 

 

Dennis grabbed Jared by the shirt sleeve and getting his attention pointed him too two young ladies who were looking slightly lost. 

 

“That would Danneel and Gen, they are a lesbian couple from the Thetas sorority house and they are kinda like you and Jens. The lone strangers.”

 

Before starting across the garden Jared looked at Dennis curiously. “This is LA, I figured that there would be more gay couples around here than anywhere else.”

 

“There are but they either aren’t in a frat or sorority house or are in the two queer groups. No offence intended.” Dennis quickly added.

“None taken.” Jared said then shrugged, he looked at Jensen, “Let’s go be sociable.”

 

Danneel saw them coming and rolled her eyes. “Jens how many times do I have to tell you…”

“Shut it Dani. This is my boyfriend Jared.” Jensen said grinning.

“YOUR BOYFRIEND!” Gen yelped. Then grabbed Jared by his tee shirt front and pulled him a bit closer. “You gotta tell us all about this. We been hoping he’d hook up with someone, but he always seemed a loner.”

 

“And “he” is standing right here.” Jensen said perturbed. 

Danneel grinned and shrugged. “Give her a break we don’t meet many gay couples outside our own little circle. So Jensen, best kept secret, how long you been a fag?” She asked still grinning.

 

Jensen could help but grin back as he noted that Jared was involved in a somewhat detailed conversation with Gen. He turned his attention back to Danneel. “I’ve been gay since I was 13 or so, at least that was when I started looking at guys more than girls. I was like every other queer that’s come along, thought something was cracked inside and needed fixing, I came out to my folks last Christmas when I invited Jared back to Maine with me for the holidays. They had a fit and practically threw us out of the party before my sister stepped up and blasted them back. Me and Jared have been partners for about a year and a half now. We just made it look to everyone else like we were best buds, that kind of thing.”

 

“Wow, I would’ve never guess, well maybe I could’ve but I always thought you hung out with Jay-rod because he was a music major, I love your guitar by the way, are you gonna play?”

“Nah, not unless I get a group that wants to hear in the house where we can escape the metalhead music.” Jensen joked.

 

“So are you two like serious or just fuckbuddies?” Gen asked Jared. 

“You cut right to the quick of the matter don’t you?” Jared said uncomfortably. “Jens and I are getting serious, we’re making plans for after graduation.”

 

“You think you’ll be together that long?” She asked.

“Hope so. I kinda like him.” Jared said eyeing his partner who was in an animated conversation with Danneel.

“You two are cute together. You fit in some strange metaphoric way.” Gen said with a smile. “I’ve seen you around campus with him but just figured you were like good friends. Hell I’ve always taken Jens as a fucking bookworm.”

 

“He is serious about his studies. We been trying to keep it below the radar because we didn’t know how the rest of the frat-brats would take knowing that one of their own was swinging for the other team.” Jared quipped.

“They seem to be cool with it.” Gen said looking around the group that was partying. “Oops spoke too soon.” She said and pointed to a group of three goodly sized fraternity brothers. The trio stopped just short of Jared.

 

“Hear one of you delts is a fag.” The obese young man said.

“You probably heard right Mike. What do you want?” Jared said coldly.

“It’s you ain’t it?” Mike said indicating Jensen and Jared.

“What business is it of yours anyway?” Jensen said starting to grow angrier.

“Just wanted to see the monkey in the cage.” Mike snidely said. Jensen lunged for him but Jared held him back and turned to him.

 

“Mike, I STRONGLY suggest you taking your fat ass back over with the Alph’s while you can still walk.” Jared growled.

“May as well the air’s cleaner over there anyway.” He snickered and turned away. Before Jensen could do anything Jared reached out and yanked the portly frat boy around and took a solid swing with his right. His massive right fist connected with Mike’s jaw. His two batmen looked on horrified at first then they started to advance on Jensen and Jared. Both took up fighting stances and watched as the batmen backed down.

 

“Take that tub of shit and get out of here.” Jared ordered.

“You don’t make the rules here.” One of them said.

 

“No?” Christian said coming up behind Jensen and Jared. “They’re Delts, this is a Delt function, you’re fat fuck must’ve crossed the line otherwise he wouldn’t be on the ground bellowing like a stuck pig. Get him and yourselves off our house grounds now. I won’t ask nice again.” 

 

Mike pushed himself up from the ground. “Get the rest of the Alph’s together we’re leaving.” 

Christian stepped forward, “No you’re going. Now and you’re not welcomed back on our property until you make amends.

 

“What!?” Mike bellowed, “It was Jared that hit me.”

Christian never took his eyes off Mike. “That right Jared?”

“After he insulted me and Jensen along with Gen and Danneel, yeah.”

“What was the offence?” Christian asked.

“Extreme prejudice.”

“Be a little clearer there Jay-rod.” Christian said.

“Called Jensen a fag and intimated that this was a monkey cage exhibit.” Jared said. “Look, I probably shouldn’t have…”

“Jared shut up.” Christian said firmly.

 

Then Christian reached out and grabbed Mike by the shoulder. “Take your fag-hating ass to the other side of the pool, keep it there. Come within striking distance again and I’ll step in and I don’t think you got the balls.” Then he turned to Jared and Jensen. “Private conversation, you, Jens, and me over by the pool house now. Sorry ladies, house business, I’ll give em back to you in a few and I promise they’ll be unharmed.” He said smiling slightly. Then the smile disappeared as he looked at Jensen and Jared. “This ain’t the pool house, move your asses.”

 

They walked across the back garden until the drew up to the pool house where there was obviously no one gathering. 

 

“What are you trying to do, start a house war?!” He asked Jensen then he looked at Jared. “You don’t arbitrarily throwing punches even if the fat fuck deserved one. You bring the offence to the house leaders which would be me and Harry. We take care of it.”

 

Jared looked suddenly contrite, “I’m sorry man, I just lost my cool.” 

Christian sighed. “Don’t lose it again, I don’t want to have to send you off.”

 

“You won’t have to.” Jared answered then looked up and saw two drunk Alpha house guys trying to pick up Gen and Danneel. 

 

“Oh shit, just when you think it couldn’t get bad enough. Let me get over there before she comes out with the pepper spray.” Christian said running over towards them at a trot. Jared turned to Jensen and grinned a bit. Then he reached out and pulled Jensen in a hug.

 

“Fuck the lot of them if they can’t understand.” Jared said. “I love you.” 

 

“Thanks for going all caveman on Mike for me. That was kinda sexy.” Jensen said with a grin and then stepped up slightly giving Jared a kiss. “I love you too. Never thought I’d get to this point but there ya go.” 

 

“Come on let’s go rescue the fair damsels.” Jared said.

“For God’s sake don’t let them hear you call them that, Dani is liable to bust your nuts and I’ve got better uses for them.” Jensen said with a wink. Jared wasted no time but grabbed up Jensen and bent him back in a dip kissing him thoroughly. He let up to applause and then blushing furiously he and Jensen went to freshen up their beer and get back over to Danneel and Gen.

 

The two drunk Alpha’s had been sent back to their group and Christian was left talking with them when Jared and Jensen walked up.

 

“Quite the little extrovert aren’t we?” Danneel asked.

“It was just a kiss.” Jared said defensively.

“That was just a little kiss like I’m a little white. Give over man that was a full blown snog!” She said as Gen burst out laughing even Christian joined on that note. 

 

Jensen looked at Christian, “Thought Sera would be here.” He asked.

“Thought she would be too.” Christian answered. 

“She would be if she weren’t in her room nursing the flu.” Gen told him.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Christian said flushing.

“You didn’t ask and when you didn’t I assumed you knew.” Gen said heatedly back at him.

 

“Okay you two, no fighting, we’ve had enough of that bullshit for one day.” Jared said with a grin.

“Yeah, I gotta agree, it’s getting old.” Danneel said. “So Jay-rod, have you decided what you’re gonna be when you grow up?” 

 

That started a whole new conversation at the same time there was anger formenting on the other side of the pool where Mike was being taken on by his house leader and assistant. 

 

“I don’t care if they fuck dogs Mike. You gotta cut this shit out.” The house leader said.

“Why Dave, it’s disgusting.” Mike growled.

Dave looked back at him and down his nose at him as well. “Because you great doof, the more you bitch moan and groan about how you hate the more it makes you sound like a closet case!”

“Dave, now let’s be fair! Just because Mike harassed a couple of queers don’t make him one.” One of the guys who was backing up Mike started.

“Steve, if this was even about you, I’d be rougher, but Mike is a junior he knows better, or should. Of course we juniors lord it over the lower classmen but we don’t go picking fights over something we may have in our own house!” Dave told the young man.

 

From across the yard Jared and Jensen were grouped now with a larger group of frat and sorority folk. Jared happened to look over at one point and he caught Steve’s eye. There was a knowing gleam in Jared’s eyes which caused the other man to blush and look away quickly. 

 

“So how long you gonna keep it in the dark?” Christian asked him.

“I don’t know man, I’ve just told a few, now most of the Alpha’s and Theta’s know, I know by now ALL of the Delt’s know. I’m scared man.” Jensen admitted.

“Let’s get this over with.” Jared told him. For a moment they exchanged looks then Jensen’s eyes widened as Jared grabbed him by the hand and dragged him to the main table where the boombox was set up. He reached over and shut off the music which cause a collective silence to fall over the group. Jared looked at Jensen who was wide-eyed staring. Finally he caught his breath and nodded.

 

“Just to shut up the rumour mill, Jensen and I are a couple.” He said flat out and pulled Jensen into a hug. There were cat-calls, whistling, some cheering, and some clapping…and some silence. Well they were not deterred by the nay-sayers which thankfully were few. When the noise died down someone shouted out, “When’s the wedding?” There was more laughter to that and a few more catcalls.

 

“When they legalize it in California!” Jensen called back pulling Jared’s face around and down for a kiss. 

 

“Bout damn time you came out.” Christian shouted from the front row. 

“We know.” Jared shouted back at him then he flipped the music back on, the party if anything kicked into a little higher gear. There was people who came up and patted them on the back, a few who drenched them with cups of beer. And a few, very few thankfully, who looked sourly at them and flipped them off. 

 

About the time Jensen thought it couldn’t get any wilder, Jared, Chris, even Steve from the Alpha’s surrounded Jensen then lifted him up and carried him towards the pool.

 

“Oh come on guys, not…” His voice was lost in the cheering, as they saw what was happening. They get him to the edge of the pool and there was a count of three and he was launched out into the deep end. Jared howled out then jumped into the pool with him. This led to several jumping in fully clothed. About then there was Christian felt a tap on his shoulder it was one of the local cops, Jim Beaver. Looking tired and sour.

 

“I’d offer you a beer but you’re in uniform.” Christian joked weakly.

 

“You know why I’m here, so get your children to knock the volume down some.”

“They’re just celebrating.” Christian said trying to opt for his good natured side.

“Celebrating what, getting wasted!” Jim said complaining. 

 

“Headache?” Harry asked noting Jim’s wince at the noise. 

“Yeah, cut that fucking music down and get these folk to simmer down a bit. Now what the hell are you folks celebrating?” He asked.

 

“Jared and Jensen came out as a couple.” Harry told him. 

Jim looked at both of them in turn, “Jared Padalecki! Him and Ackles came out, aw shit. Hate to have missed that.” 

“Jim, I promise to get them back under control.” Christian said as Chad came walking up with an air horn.

 

Chad blew three sharp blasts which got folks attention and quieted them down a bit. Then they saw Christian, Harry and Chad talking with Officer Beaver. An ominous lull fell over the crowd. Christian stepped forward his stage voice helping him to carry to the crowd. 

 

“Hold it down a little.” He shouted. There was general assents to that and the party resumed at a slightly lower volume. 

 

“How late do you plan this one to run?” Jim asked Christian and Harry. 

“We got enough beer to last till 9 that’s when we’re cutting them off.” Harry replied.

“Better make it 9 and not try to work it out til midnight. You don’t want me coming out here again.” Jim growled. 

 

“You haven’t had any trouble already have you?” Jim asked concerned.

“Nothing we couldn’t handle with talking out between the offenders and their house heads.” Christian said calmly.

“Good, keep it that way.” Jim said.

 

Finally a soaked Jared and Jensen came padding up dripping wet, hair plastered down. “We’re going to grab some of that pizza and then hit the showers, and change into something dry.” Jensen announced.

 

“So you and the tree are a pair now?” Jim said trying a smile on for a change.

“Yup, just announced.” Jared said with a big grin.

“Where you got your china pattern registered?” Jim joked.

“We’re working on that. One thing at a time.” Jensen pleaded with a grin.

 

“You boys stay out of trouble.” He said wincing and grabbing at his head. “Fucking migraine.” 

“You allergic to eggs?” Jensen said quickly.

“No what does that happen to do with anything?” Jim said squinting. 

“Come with me.” Jensen ordered with Jared, Christian, Chad, and Harry in tow. Jensen got him into his room. “For starters lay down on the bed.”

 

“I would but I’m not your type.” Jim tried joking.

Jensen came back with a prescription bottle. 

“Oh no, that’s a Federal offence.” Jim growled.

“This is what Dr. Meters over at the clinic prescribed me for my migraines. Take one please.” Jensen asked as Jared got a glass of water out of the bathroom. 

 

“Beaver-two-niner what’s your progress?” His radio squawked.

Jim took the microphone and keyed it. “I’m 10-10 at 1430 Ranchero Drive. I’ll be back on the road in ten, gonna grab a coffee.” 

“K, Beaver-two-niner, quiet as a tomb here.” The dispatcher said back.

“Good. Beaver-two-niner out.” Jim told him and then clipped the microphone back on his uniform. 

 

“Boy this gives me any trouble and I’m running you in.” He growled and took the tablet laying back down at Jensen’s insistence. Jensen the closed the blinds in his room, and shut off the light.

“That helped a helluva lot right there.” Jim said then about five minutes later he nodded and sat up slowly. “Good, thanks Jensen, that helped a lot. I’m a little drowsy, but I can deal with that. I’m just going to roll back and pack it in for the day, this shit’s getting old.” Jim griped. He stood slowly and walked out wincing at the exposure to light. “Remember what I said about the noise.” 

“Yes sir, I’ll get my boys on that.” Christian said firmly.

Jim left by the front door and in moments was seen driving away.

 

“You sure it was alright giving him that stuff?” Christian said.

“Not really. But he was in a lot of pain so it was that or calling 9-1-1. For what it’s work it’s lose dose strength for me. I imagine to some someone with Jim’s constitution it’d be like an aspirin, but one that’s specifically designed to target the brain center where migraines start. Go on back out to the party, we’ll be out in a minute or maybe ten or fifteen.” 

 

The room cleared except for Jared who looked disapprovingly at Jensen. “I know you wanted to help but you can’t just do shit like that.”

“I know, I also know how much a migraine can hurt and he looks like someone who’s probably going to go to the emergency room after he leaves work anyway. Like I said the med is a low dose strength. Stops my headaches, like snap. Jim will be fine.”

 

Noting the skeptical look on Jared’s face he folded a bit. “Okay, I think he’s in the book, I’ll try calling him in a little while to check on him.”

“You better. Now all that aside, what do you say about going back out and grabbing some pizza?” Jared said.

Jensen slipped in closer to him and cupped his pool water damp crotch. “There’s something better I’d like to grab.”

 

“Oh, want a protein shake huh?” 

 

Several hours later the party was actually winding down. With the house being in a residential district, the other frat brothers and sorority sisters soon filtered out and were gone. Which left the Delt’s with the cleanup. Jensen and Jared were in dryer clothing now although while Jensen’s short fit Jared pretty well, his shirts were slightly tight on his frame. He didn’t complain though, he thought it was kind of sexy. The last to leave were the Alpha’s and their house leader called Christian off to the side.

 

“Look man, I’m sorry as hell about what happened earlier, Mike and his little cadre will be disciplined.” Dave told him.

“Don’t worry about it, shit they all probably have forgotten what the slight was about by now anyway. Next weekend same time for a cookout?” Christian asked.

“You are a glutton for punishment.” Dave laughed. “Okay, same bat-time same bat-channel.” He kidded and then was gone. Luckily the Delta’s had three frosh who were living in the house that they would press into service the next day in the cleanup. 

 

In his room, Jensen and Jared lay curled up on his bed when Jared elbowed him. “Hhm what?” He asked drowsily.

“Call Jim.” Jared said testily.

 

Jensen got up and flipped through the phone book on the bottom of his nightstand. He found a J. Beaver and a Jim F. Beaver. He called the first and got a wrong number then he dialed the second. A familiar voice answered.

 

“Hello?” Came the sleepy answer.

“Jim, Jensen here.” Jensen started. “Just wanted to check in with you and see how you were feeling.”

 

“That’s good of you. That pill helped a lot, thanks, you ever even think of doing something like that again and I’ll….”

“You took the pill, you’re just as guilty.” Jensen said at wits end with all the pressure he’d been getting about that.

 

“Don’t get cute with me boy. Just don’t try that again. No matter how desperate I am call 911 first.” Jim ordered.

“Okay, Geez just trying to help!” He griped.

“And you did, and we broke the law, you’re damn lucky they weren’t doing piss tests today or we’d both be in hock up to our ass on this.” Jim finished. “Party finish up okay?” 

 

“Yeah, according to Christian, no more head-banging. Just a lot of drunk frat-boys and soro-girls. And yes they did have designated drivers.”

“Good.” Jim said approvingly. “Anything else?” He asked.

 

“Nah just checking in on ya, my prescription meds and all.”

“Yeah, well it all ended well, just remember what I said.” Jim warned.

“Your transmission came in loud and clear boss. No more.” Jensen said. 

“Good, goodnight then.”

“Night.” Jensen responded.

 

Then he turned to Jared and they snuggled some more. “So what do you think of my idea?” Jared asked. They discussed earlier the prospect of getting an apartment together.

 

“It would give us more privacy. And depending on where we looked we can choose the size.” Jensen said nervously. 

“But…” Jared said expecting something tremendously awful.

“Are you sure you can live with me like that?” 

 

“I can if you can, hell we practically live out of each other’s pocket as it is. Let’s just take the next step.” Jared said practically.

Jensen nodded and hugged him a moment. “I guess I never figured I’d ever be this lucky.”

 

“That’s your problem Jens, you need to lighten up more and experience life.” Jared said plainly.

 

“So can we skip any further serious discussion and jump right to the making out and mind-blowing sex?” Jensen asked. “I mean I assumed you were spending the night.”

 

“You assume correctly Watson.” Jared said dramatically

“Then examine the evidence Holmes.” Jensen said turning out the bedside light.


	2. Chapter 1

  
Author's notes: A/N: Okay so I'm going to play with this a little bit. You can shoot me later. Please read and review. Reviews are like M&M's. You figure it out ;^)  


* * *

Three months later!

 

“You know we really should start looking about our own place.” Jared said curled up against Jensen after a marathon sexy weekend together. 

 

“Yeah, I gotta agree this is slightly cramping my style. I like the fact I got a nice double bed and all, but some of these guys push the limit on good taste when it comes to their pranks.” Jensen replied.

 

“You’ve just noticed. Look, let’s shower and dress then go out for a bite of brunch then go apartment shopping.” Jared noted. Jensen nodded agreement with that that immediately got out of bed only to hear a knock at the door. 

 

“What now?!” He wondered headed over to the door he cracked it open slightly and was bowled over by Steve, Harry, and Christian. 

 

“Dudes! Uh sorry to catch you in the like, all together, but we gotta plan for the blow out party for next weekend.” Christian said trying to ignore the fact that Jared and Jensen were standing there unembarrassed and bare-assed. With Jared standing with a half-hard on, Christian’s eyes bugged slightly. He walked over and took Jensen’s hand. “I take back every evil thing I said about you, if you can take that monster cock, you can take anything.” 

 

“Thank you.” Jared said with a grin. “Now what about the party next weekend?”

 

“You both gotta play, we get enough recorded shit, but we want something live.” Harry said plaintively. 

 

“Okay we’ll agree to that on one condition.” Jensen said looking at them. 

 

“That is?” Harry said.

 

“You get the fuck out of my room and let us get decent.” Jensen said angrily.

 

“Uh yeah, sorry about that, bad timing and all that shit. Get with us and we’ll come up with something.” Christian said as he grabbed the other two by their collars. “Come on ladies, we got work to do.”

 

Christian pulled the door shut as they left. Jared shot Jensen a tired look. Jensen shrugged and held his hands up defensively. “I didn’t plan that attack. Look at it like this, once we’re in our own place we won’t have to worry about that.”

 

Jared nodded tiredly then reached over Jensen and locked the door. Grabbing the other by the hand, he practically dragged the other into the shower.

 

Showering was an easy affair, tight in the smaller tub but workable. They then left and went to a local coffee house for brunch and a look over the apartment listings. They circled three they would check on.

 

“Look with the allowance I’m getting from home, plus the college loan, not to mention that scholarship money, we can afford a nice place. I just don’t want to settle for the first thing we see.” Jared piped up.

 

“Yeah and considering I managed to get you home with me over the Christmas break, and my folks so approve of you, I may be able to squeeze a little extra from there if we need it.” Jensen noted.

 

“Let’s not go and pull from all our resources yet, let’s see what we find.” Jared said.

 

“Yes dear.” Jensen quipped.

 

“About time you recognized your place in this relationship.” Jared joked.

 

They left and went to the first apartment look which was a major bust. Not close enough to the university and that round king sized bed looked like something off the set of “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.” No they continued their search to the second place which had some serious potential. There were a few cosmetic details that owner said they she’d give them a break in their rent if they took care of it. It was a nice enough place, two bedrooms, one and half baths, fairly roomy at that. 

 

The upside which was a consideration was that it was close to the school, the neighbourhood was nice enough and it looked like a possible winner. Then they went to the last place. A nice single bedroom loft, it was in easy cycling distance from the university or a quick drive over either one. The price was right and it was spacious for a 1 bedroomer. So they drove back to their coffee shop for a latte and some decision making. 

 

“The little two bedroom place was nice but it looked to me like it would be a little cramped.” Jared said. “I mean once we get my cello in there and you get a place for your guitar and stuff set up. Just saying that we’ll barely have room for a TV.” 

 

“I like the loft, wide open spaces, that huge living area, I mean I can see you practicing with the bay in the background and that makes me all want to jump you bones feel good stuff.” Jensen told him.

 

“Okay, we both like the loft, the rent’s okay, we can do it, and we’ll have to buy some furniture.”

 

“A sofa and maybe a couple of chairs. That double bed in my room is mine.” Jensen said.

 

“That’s sweet and all, but we need something to eat at like a dining room table or its nearest relative, plus we are going to need to look about a king size bed. I love you dearly, but I’m tired of sleeping on a bed my feet hang off of.” Jared said smiling.

 

“Okay let’s get the apartment settled first then we’ll look about something to furnish it with.” Jensen acknowledged.

 

Perhaps the easiest part was securing the apartment they would have to say on reflection. Moving out of their respective houses wasn’t too much of a problem, especially since they invited their respective friends over for a housewarming party the weekend after the blowout. So the next thing on their agenda was finding furniture. First however came a fateful call to Jensen’s mom and dad.

 

“Uh hi mom.” 

 

“Jensen hon, it’s so good to hear from you. Whatever are y’all up to now?” She asked in her soft Texas drawl.

 

“Jared and I have an apartment, well it’s a loft, but it’s our new home. Write down this address.” And he waited and gave her the new address for their loft assuring her that he would keep his postal box at the university. “Just wanted you to know.” 

 

“Sweetie, as long as you’re happy, that’s all we care about, but an apartment by yourselves, what have you got aside from your clothes and stuff?” She asked.

 

“We went to a thrift store today and got a dinette, a couch and two chairs that were in good condition. We’re gonna shop for a TV later, thank God the place comes with cable! We already got an office kind of space set aside, the only other thing we’re looking for is a king sized bed.”

 

“Hon, you sure you need one that big?” His mom asked.

 

“Mom, Jared is 6’4”.”

 

“Oh he is a tall drink of water. Okay Alan! Alan get over here. No put that paper down a minute and get on the extension.”

 

“Mom!” Jensen tried.

 

“Jensen?” His father said from another phone.

 

“Hi dad.” Jensen said easily.

 

“Son…” Alan said back. “What’s up?” 

 

“Our boy and his friend just got a place of their own that’s what’s up.” Mom said.

 

“Now Shirley calm down.” Alan said.

 

“Dad, it’s not as bad as it sounds. We got a 1 bedroom loft, about 2000 square feet in downtown LA . It’s got a great view, and is priced just right. Plus we already got the living room and kitchen furnished.”

 

“The bedroom?” Alan asked.

 

“We gotta go shopping for another bed, but can make do until then.” Jensen said helplessly.

 

“What is Jared going to do, sleep on the floor?” Shirley cut in.

 

“Okay, don’t sweat it, I’ll go deposit some extra into your college account you can draw on. Give me an hour.” Alan said hanging up.

 

“Oh that man!” Shirley said.

 

“Mom, Dad!!! I wasn’t calling for that!!” He squeaked.

 

“Hon, just between us, how tight are you with Jared?” She asked.

 

“We’re best friend’s mom.” Jensen answered.

 

“You really think a lot him don’t you?” She asked.

 

“I do Mom and I will. And tell Dad to be careful with what he puts into my account, I ain’t a spendthrift I just don’t want y’all doing without.” Jensen said.

 

“Oh pshaw, don’t worry about that none, he got his earnings statement in on the stock, he like the cock of the walk right now. He just got a good dividend deposit. We’re going on a cruise as soon as we settle on where.” She told him.

 

“Ok, as long as you’re happy.” Jensen said.

 

“That’s what I said about you son. Take care of each other. Who knows we may even try to come out to see you! Don’t worry we’ll let you know if we decide to take that flight.” She said with Jensen being able to hear her grin.

 

“Okay Mom, love ya, give dad a hug for me.”

 

“I will sweetie. Bye bye.”

 

“Bye Mom.”

 

He hung up the phone the in a dash pulled up his banks website and his account. He nearly passed out, Jared had to hold him up as they looked at the balance together. It was impressive for a single college student. Jared pulled his up and his account wasn’t a slouch either. So they bundled themselves into Jensen’s Honda and went bed shopping.

 

The first place they went to was a wash out as they laid down to get the feel of a mattress liked it and walked over a couple of aisles to look at another one and noticed that a sales clerk immediately sprayed a bed down with disinfectant. Something that Jared had noted had not happened to another couple that was in there as well. So they tried another mattress and liked it better. Selecting that one as their number two possible they walked around, it was the sound of a spray can that caught Jared’s attention. Finally he looked up at the salesman that was with them.

 

“You know something we’re gay, we’re not contagious. Come on Jensen.” He said as they left the store. 

 

The second store they went to was better by far. The sales clerk showed them several mattresses then took a good look at Jared.

 

“Come with me a minute guys.” She said leading them over to a king sized bed. “You said you wanted a firm mattress, big and with a pillowtop.”

 

They stretched out on the bed and Jared was very pleased with the size of the mattress as well as the feel. He looked at Jensen who was smiling.

 

“I like this.” Jensen said.

 

“That’s a California King Size, a bit bigger than a regular king sized bed but sweet.” She noted.

 

“We’ll take it.” Jensen said immediately. 

 

“I assume you have a head board and foot board already?” She asked. “No, come with me then.” She led them to the warehouse and took them on row upon row of headboard footboard combinations. “Any particular style you’re looking for?” She asked.

 

“Nothing massive please.” Jared asked.

 

“You’re gonna think I’m silly for wanting this.” Jensen started.

 

“No I won’t, what would you like?” Jared asked him.

 

“A canopy top.” He said. 

 

The clerk snapped her fingers as if remembering something and led them over several rows to a combination that was fluted cherry, with the canopy connections. 

 

“This one is designed to take anything from simple netting to nice drapes.” She mentioned.

 

“This one then.” Jared said.

 

“We also carry a line of bed linens for the California King if you’d like to look at those. She said as they were led back to the front of the store. After looking through several sets they picked out four bed-in-a-bags for that size bed.

 

“Would you like to have all this bundled together for the delivery and setup?” She asked.

 

“Please!” Jared answered.

 

They gave her the address of the apartment and then sliding plastic through the reader the sale was approved. 

 

On their way out to the car, Jensen leaned against it breathing heavily. “I don’t think I’ve ever shelled out that much for anything before.” 

 

“You okay?” Jared asked.

 

“You got a choice, marry me quick or fuck me till tomorrow.” 

 

“How about we do both?” Jared said with a grin. They got back to the loft apartment with a suitable amount of decency between them, considering that their shirts were in the back seat of the Honda and they nearly wrecked three times from Jared giving Jensen head while driving. He finally came up for air when they reached the apartment. Jensen quickly zipped up and nearly dragged up the stairs between the deli and the art gallery. They were kicking out of shoes and kissing each other ragged as they entered the apartment. They finally descended on the carpeting where suddenly 69 turned into a very good number. They were both lost in lust, so lost in fact that when Jensen came it was little surprise as Jared swallowed every drop then milked him for some more. 

 

“Jensen ran over to the suitcase near the bedroom area and grabbed a tube of lube and some condoms. Jared proceeded to lube up two fingers and slip quickly into Jensen who hissed a little with the burn but quickly adjusted, especially after Jared’s fingertips brushed his prostate several times. 

 

“Fuck me now, I’m ready for whatever you can pack.” Jared rolled on top letting his dick play at Jensen’s ass then lustblown he guided his dick carefully into Jensen, wincing a little at the tightness and hoping he wasn’t hurting Jensen, who was so far gone in his own lust that he didn’t care, nothing could hurt him at this point. It was about four strokes into Jensen that Jared yelped.

 

“Goddamnit! I didn’t get a condom on.” 

 

“Fuck that! We’re clean!” Jensen noted and the abandonment in Jensen’s voice and gave over, it was too late now whatever the case as Jensen was immensely hot for Jared and Jared’s dick was weep pre-come like come nearly.

 

“Oh---man I’m not gonna last long.” Jared muttered breathlessly as he speeded up.

 

“Give it to me Jare baby, pump me full.” The desperation in Jensen’s voice sent Jared over the top and he groaned as he came, steadily pumping as he felt spasm after spasm of the orgasm wash over him.

 

“We crossed a dangerous threshold here baby.” Jared said slowly pulling out and rolling off of Jensen. 

 

“We get tested every three months. We’ve been careful and we always come up clean. Didn’t that feel better?” Jensen asked.

 

“Yeah, I just want us to stay clean.” Jared said.

 

“Oh so that means you’re fucking around behind my back?” Jensen said flatly.

 

“NO! Hell no!” Jared nearly shouted. “Come on babe, let’s take a shower.”

 

“What’s with this sudden clean thing?” Jensen asked, “Can’t we just lay here and enjoy ourselves for a few?”

 

“We could but the Mattress King Company is on their way over here with our new bed and we’re lying here butt naked.” Jared notioned.

 

“Good point I guess.” They walked into the bathroom and got the shower running and hot then stepping into the spray Jensen hissed in delight and wrapped himself around Jared.

 

“Jare, I know you’re clean, you know I’m clean, let’s just enjoy it for now okay?” Jensen pleaded.

 

“I know and I’m sorry for making such a big deal about it.” Jared said.

 

“You didn’t make a big deal about it and it is a big deal, that was a first for us. And that first felt wonderful. I felt your cock like never before. Please let’s not worry about this for right now.” Jensen asked as he soaped up Jared, Jared soaping him up. Jared didn’t say anything for a moment and it suddenly got Jensen worried.

 

“You didn’t like it did you?” Jensen said flatly.

 

“Actually I did, I was just trying to figure out a way to say it that would come out totally wimpish. Jens, I love YOU, I want YOU, God I want to marry you!”

 

“Please Jare, don’t say things that we can fulfill.” Jensen said quietly.

 

“With Prop 8 out of the way, please?” Jared begged as he held Jensen close. 

 

“You’re making me all weepy, quit that.” Jensen said weakly. “Of course I’d marry you, you big lump.” 

 

They quickly got out from the shower and dried off, then dressing in the clothing they came in wearing they were just tying up their shoes when there was a knock at the door.

 

Jared loped over and opened the door, the bed was officially there. They pointed to where they wanted it set up then got out of the way as the team of three men quickly brought in the bed and assembled it. They even dressed the bed out in its first set of linens. 

 

“Thank’s guys!” Jensen said tipping each of them generously. He turned around and looked at it and then looked at Jared. The conversation pit was to one side, the dinette behind that next to the kitchen. The bed was angled to catch the setting sun over the tops of the lower buildings. And there was ample space between the living areas. Jared’s cello was on its stand in one corner of the conversation area while Jensen’s guitar was on its stand next to it. The wall that sat against was practically a full bank of windows. Eight windows each four feet wide, eight feet tall with a delicate arch finishing the top of each window. There was a great deal of natural light that flooded the apartment. 

 

“You if we wanted to we could string up a line and hang a curtain closing off the bedroom.” Jared suggested.

 

“I like that idea. Now back to the wedding. Where and when?” Jensen asked as they snuggled on the couch. 

 

“Well I guess we start shopping churches to see who’d do a same-sex marriages.” Jared mentioned.

 

“I know who we need to get the help of…” Jensen said. He picked up his cellphone and speed dialed a number. 

 

“Jenny! My favourite little drag queen!” Christian’s voice boomed.

 

“I’m not a drag queen motherfucker.” Jensen said in his most saccharine tone.

 

“Ok, so you’re not dragging, can I still call you a queen?”

 

“Why not, God knows you’ve called me much worse over the years.”

 

“What’s up lil bro, didn’t expect to hear from you this soon.” Christian asked.

 

“We need to find a church preferably.” Jensen asked.

 

“Ok, I’ll bite, when did you get religion?” Christian asked.

 

“We’re getting married and I want to do the whole married bit.” Jensen told him. There was dead silence on the line for the space of about five seconds.

 

“You wanna hit me with that one again Jenny, I don’t think I heard you right, the first time around.” Christian said.

 

“You heard right, we’re going to get married, he proposed and everything. No I won’t be wearing white.” Jensen said.

 

“You’re asking the chief daddy of a frat house to help you find a church? I just wanna get that, pardon the pun, straight.”

 

“Ha, ha smartass, yeah I want a church, but we need to find one that will do gay marriages.” Jensen said.

 

“Now you’re wanting us to help you find a church that does gay marriages. Uh dude, how’s that gonna look to the pledges?” He asked.

 

“Use that as part of the initiation. They have to find a church to do a gay wedding, but they have to be sincere in their approach, they have to make the minister or priest really think that they are marrying them.” Jensen told him laughing.

 

There was another pause for about ten seconds as he pondered this then he burst out laughing. “Oh God this will top the time we had pledges go streaking through the Theta’s house in nothing but jingle bells tie to their balls!! I love it. Let me get with Harry on this one, we got four new pledges this semester and they are just about through the wringer. But this will take the cake.” Christian cawed.

 

“Okay but try to get them to hoof it. We’d like to do this before Christmas if we can.” Jensen said.

 

“Give me a couple of days to work on it. I’ll get back to you.” Christian said before hanging up.

 

Jared just looked at Jensen. “What?!” Jensen asked.

 

“That's kind of underhanded making pledges pretend to be a gay couple getting married.” Jared said disapprovingly. “I would have thought this meant more to you than that.” 

 

“It does but I want us to have a real wedding, hazing goes on, and there are worse things that have been done as far as that's concerned. Come on, we're trying to find a church here.” Jensen said.

 

Jared shook his head, “No, you're trying to make a mockery of what we have.”

 

Jensen looked at him a moment and stirred crestfallen. “Okay, no problem,if it means that much to you I'll call Chris and get him to call off the deal.”

 

“It's too late now, he'll already have the idea percolating in that twisted brain of his.” Jared said sullenly.

 

“I'm sorry I didn't know it meant this much to you.” Jensen said mistakenly.

 

“Then maybe we should rethink the whole getting married deal. Perhaps we need more time to decide what means what to us because evidently what I think and what you think are two different animals.” Jared said sadly.

 

Jensen reached out and touched Jared's cheek. “I sorry babe, really. I didn't mean...”

 

“I know you didn't, it's the frat house mentality. I'm not blaming you, Christian maybe, but well, yeah maybe I'm blaming you a little bit. I thought we meant more than a prank like this.” Jared told him.

 

Jensen picked up the phone book and turned to Religious Organizations. “Okay, you tell me where we should start and I'll personally call them.” 

 

“It's not as easy as that Jens.” Jared said disappointed. He stood and walked to the door. “I'll be back in a bit, I need a little air.”

 

“Okay...are we good...?” Jensen asked.

 

“Yeah, I guess so.” Jared said pulling the door closed behind him as he left.

 

Jensen speed dialed the number.

 

“J-man, what gives I haven't had time to talk this over with Harry yet.” Christian said excitedly.

 

“Don't man, just let it go, PLEASE!” Jensen told him quickly and desperately.

 

“Oh man, come on this will be a great haze.” Christian said.

 

“Please just let it go, Jared is mega disappointed with me and well, I think we just had our official first falling out.” Jensen said disjointedly.

 

“Whoa dude bummer. Should I call and talk to Jay-rod?” Christian offered.

 

“No man,just give us some time to work this out on our own.” Jensen said sadly.

 

“Okay man, if that's what you want.” Christian replied.

 

“Dude, it's what I need.” Jensen said in reply.

 

Jared walked through the downtown district around their place without paying much attention to the architecture or the storefronts. He was entirely lost in thought for the moment, he'd planned such great things, but the last thing he wanted was for their wedding to be trivialized. Now he was so unsure. He turned a corner at last and wandered up the steps of a church. 

 

He'd been raised nominally Catholic so walking into the welcoming doors of an Episcopal church was not exactly unknown to him. He walked in tipping his fingers into the holy water font and genuflecting as he entered the nave. He walked down a bit and came to a pew which seemed in place to him. Sitting down he looked around without really seeing the architecture or the stained glass, it was all normal to him but at the same time strange as well. 

 

He didn't hear a door open or the footfalls of someone, he was so lost in thought. Finally he felt a shadow on him and he looked up at a middled aged man in an Anglican collar.

 

“Father, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...” He said hastily getting up.

 

The priest rested his hand on Jared's shoulder and pressed slightly. “That's why the doors are open. Sometimes we need to take a few moments to reflect.” The priest said kindly. “I am Jake Smith the priest of this parish and you are?”

 

“Sorry about that, I'm Jared Padalecki, my partner and I are new to the neighbourhood and …” Jared sighed. “I can't lie to a priest.” He muttered. “We had an argument.”

 

“That happens in the best of couples. Is it something I can help you with?” He asked kindly.

 

“Father Jake, we wanted to get married but...we were looking to find a place and then he called up his frat house and talked to the head trying to find a church and made it a hazing deal that whoever finds a church would be admitted to the fraternity. But they have to be sincere in their approach.”

 

“Oh I think I see now. And to you there is more sanctity in marriage than just a frat prank?” Father Jake said kindly.

 

“Yeah, I want a marriage to mean something.”

 

“Of course, you would.” Jake said looking at him closely. “Now you're wondering if you even want to get married.” Jake finished.

 

“Am I that transparent?” Jared asked.

 

“Sometimes arguments spin out of control over strong issues and mild ones. This is one which I think is fixable.”

 

“How do you mean?” Jared asked.

 

Jake laughed, “Obviously you've not kept up with the news about the Episcopal Church. We are open doors, open minds. I do solemnize same-sex couples. And I would be glad to host your wedding, provided...”

 

“Uh oh.” Jared started.

 

“You both come in and talk with me. I want to meet the other groom as well. Jared, this isn't a race to get you into the church, but it is something to consider. Have you had much contact with the Episcopal Church?”

 

“Very little actually, I was raised Roman.” Jared admitted.

 

“Then you already know most of our liturgy, our belief systems are similar except we don't have the Marian doctrine that the Roman's do, and there are a few other points as well. But really Jared, you don't have to go to all the fuss and bother. Bring your groom by and we'll talk.” 

 

“What about the rest?” Jared said remorsefully.

 

“I suggest a candlelit dinner for two, some wine, and gentle words, you need to bring the romance back to the relationship.” Jake suggested.

 

“Thanks Father.” Jared said standing.

 

“You see all situations are not insurmountable. It just takes some time, and maybe even talking it out level-headed. Your partner doesn't really sound like a bad sort.”

 

“He's not, he's sweet, lovable, plays a mean blues guitar, sings, he's handsome...”

 

“You see you've listed five good points about him. I think it's time you actually talked this out and well yes, take some time with each other.”

 

“I'll talk to him.” Jared agreed slowly.

 

“You both come by. Here.” He fished in his wallet and brought out a card. “Give me a call when you'd like to speak to me about this. This way his frat house won't even be involved. And if any of the froshes come calling, I'll send them packing.” He said with a grin.

 

“Thanks again Father.” Jared said with a small smile. He turned and started out of the church and then turned and genuflected again, muttering a short prayer. He hurried out the door. Of course he knew all their problems weren't solved but this was a start. 

 

He paused outside the church doors and took a deep breath. He knew as well he would probably have to deal with Christian but he would leave that for another time. For now he needed to concentrate on Jensen and getting this whole mess straightened out. He walked back towards the loft and passed through the door into the main room to find Jensen exactly where he left him only looking infinitely more pensive.

 

“Jay...” 

 

“Jens...”

 

“I was an ass, I called without thinking about you, and well it sucked.” Jensen started.

 

“So...” Jared asked rolling his hand as if to pull more words out.

 

“So I called Chris and told him to call off the whole deal with getting the frosh to have to do this. He wasn't to keen on being put off but I think I made my point clear.” Jensen said looking at him carefully. “Did you get aired out?” He asked trying at humour.

 

“Actually I did, I stopped in at St. Bartholomew's and spoke with the priest there.”

 

“REALLY!” Jensen said hoping to be off the hook.

 

“He said he would be glad to do the wedding. The only thing I want to know is do you really want to go through with this, this isn't some fraternity prank that you can pull then get a do-over on. If we're going to do this, let's do it right.” Jared said his more dominant personality coming to the fore. 

 

“Jay, I'm sorry man, I'm like mega-sorry for doing that. That was cold and now that I look back on it kind of stupid.” Jensen said.

 

“It wasn't stupid, it's what I would expect a fraternity to pull, my music major brats would probably try to pull off the same deal.” Jared said tiredly. “I just don't want to cheapen this day for us.” 

 

“I couldn't agree more. So am I forgiven?” He asked.

 

“You're earning brownie points on getting back to starting point A.” Jared admitted. “Father Jake wants us both in there to talk with him about this, so I needed to get with you on a time when we can pull this together.” Jared told him.

 

“I'm available all day this week, but next weeks gonna be a bitch with classes starting back.” Jensen admitted.

 

“Let me go ahead and call him and set a time. But I swear Jen, any more stunts like this...” He left the ultimatum unsaid.

 

“No more pranking, at least Christian better have taken me at my word on this.” Jensen said.

 

Jared slid in a little closer to him on the couch which encouraged Jensen to slide in a little closer as well. 

 

“We got a new bed now...” Jensen said hopefully.

 

“Maybe in a little while.” Jared answered.

 

“What's really eating at you?” Jensen asked.

 

“This is a big step, I mean have you like, even come out of the closet with your folks yet?” Jared asked.

 

“Ouch! Something been meaning to do and just kept putting it off.” 

 

Jared pulled Jensen close to him on the couch. “You should consider telling them before we announce the engagement.” Jared said half-teasingly.

 

“They're gonna freak.” Jensen said nervously.

 

“They know we've been best friends since when two years ago. You even took me home on Christmas break to meet them. They seemed cool.”

 

“Cause then you were just my best friend, now it goes to you being a son-in-law. That's a major leap in their eyes.” Jensen noted.

 

“Do you want to tell them?” Jared asked.

 

“Can I get a root canal first?” He asked.

 

“No, look are you ashamed?”

 

“Scared, big difference.” Jensen said.

 

“OH for crying out loud.” Jared said pulling out his cell phone, it took a moment for him to find the number but he pressed CALL. There were a couple of rings then a man's voice on the other end of the line. 

 

“Hello, Jared?” 

 

“Alan hey, sorry to bug you but we were wondering, instead of us coming down there for Christmas, maybe you might come up here?”

 

“Something wrong?” He immediately asked.

 

“No sir, Jensen and I just want to show off our new apartment.” Jensen in the meantime is trying to make a mad grab for the phone but Jared's long arm is sure defence.

 

“Yeah we found a great loft apartment in downtown LA, close to the school, and just right for a young couple.” Jensen whirled and buried his head in his hands. 

 

“A couple?” Alan asked.

“Yes sir.” Jared said plainly.

“Is Jensen there?” 

“He's right here sir.” Now Jensen was fending off the possibility of having to talk to his father.

“Put him on please.” Alan asked equitably.

 

“Here Jens, Alan wants to speak with you.” Jared said holding out the phone. Jensen in the meantime was at the other end of the sofa attempting to climb over the arm.

 

“Jared...JARED.” Alan spoke up.

“Sorry about that sir, Jensen wants me to tell you he unavailable to talk right now.” Jared was still as calm as death.

“Tell Jensen exactly this. Alan said to put on your big boy pants and answer the goddamn phone.” Still Alan was sounding perfectly reasonable.

 

Jared turned from the phone for a moment. “Your father said for me to tell you this exactly. Put on your big boy pants and answer the goddamn phone.” Suddenly Jensen proceeded to collapse in on himself knowing for sure life as he knew it was about to terminate. He took the phone like holding a dead snake.

 

“Hi dad.” He said in a whisper.

“I'm sorry I asked for my son, not a whisperer.” Alan said sarcastically.

Jensen cleared his throat, “Hi dad.” He said in as near to normal tone as he could manage.

“That's better. So just how long have you two been a couple?” Alan asked mildly.

“About two years now.” Jensen answered.

“And you neglected to tell us this when you were down on Christmas break or when you called earlier, why?” Alan asked still calm.

 

“I was afraid sir.” Jensen said honestly.

“Did you think we'd love you any less?” Alan asked.

“I was thinking you would kill me.” Jensen answered truthfully his voice climbing the scale.

“So you two are amourous.” Alan asked.

“Like bunnies sir.” Jensen answered.

“Didn't need that mental image, still. You know I show be angry, totally ratcheted up, but the best I can work for is disappointment.” Alan said tiredly.

“Oh shit dad, just yell at me please, I can take that better.” Jensen admitted.

 

“No, I'm not going to yell. I'm disappointed that you thought so little of your mother and I that we would castigate you over this.” Alan started. “It doesn't matter to us if you're gay or straight. It does matter to us, does he make you happy?” 

“Deliriously.” Jensen said. 

“No regrets.” Alan continued.

“No sir, none.”

 

“Just where are you planning to carry this, I mean you've two more years in college. Are you and he going to get one of those union ceremonies done?” Alan asked.

 

“No sir, in fact, I think that Jared has something further to say to you on that matter.” Jensen said still tense.

“Put me on speaker.” Alan said.

“Jared.”

“Alan?” Jared said calmly.

“Jensen says that you have something further to say on the matter that you and he are gay.”

“Yes sir, I would like to ask for yours and Sherri's blessing on our engagement.”

There was a slight pause. “Engagement...that's right Proposition 8 was defeated out there.”

“Yes sir.” Jared said.

 

“Jensen is this what you want as well?” Alan asked.

“Yes sir.”

“Good now that we got that out of the way, perhaps we can get to the logistics of this. Have you decided on a date yet?” 

“No sir. We were hoping soon.” 

 

“Forget about soon, I'll tell your mother after we hang up so you'll be spared. Next time however, come out and tell me for crying out loud.” Alan said sternly. “And Jared, yes we'll be making plans on joining you for Christmas and Jensen, I'm not cutting you off, or out. Hell, Josh has given us six grandkids, you think we want more!”

“No sir. So do we get your's and moms blessing?” Jensen asked.

 

“You got mine, now I'll have to let you go so I can talk with Sherri. Will you be available a little later?” 

“We should be, I don't anticipate us going out for the evening.”

“Good.” Alan said definitively. “I'll get back to you in about an hour.”

“Thank you Alan.” Jared said.

 

“No problem, you boys be safe, but for God's sake, be honest.” Alan told them as he disconnected.

 

Jared slipped his cell phone back into his pocket and dodged a pillow attack at the same time.

 

“You fucking shit! How could you go and out me to my folks like that!!” Jensen said excitedly.

“The same way you were going to turn our search for a church to host the wedding into a frat prank.” Jared said. “Now we're even.”

 

“Outing me to my dad! We aren’t even close to even.” Jensen squawked.

“Give it a rest Jens, you saw how he took it. You’re mom usually tends towards the same if not easier line than he does.”

 

A few minutes later Jensen’s cell phone went off. He carefully got it out of his pocket and checked the caller ID and rolled his eyes as he answered the call and put it on speaker.

 

“Hey.” He said pleasantly.

“Hey yourself.” Sherri Ackles said calmly.

“You couldn’t have told us over the holidays?” She said.

“So what do you think?” Jensen asked.

“I presume I’m on speaker.” 

“Yup, Hi Sherri!” Jared said spritely.

“Jared hon, I hope he’s treating you all right.” 

“We’re discussing that now.”

“What’s to discuss?” Sherri asked.

“Mom, he’s pissed at me for wanted to get my fraternity involved in helping to find a church for this.”

“JENSEN ROSS ACKLES! I may be an old dinosaur but I remember my Sorority Sisters there’s maybe three out of the lot I’d have anything to do with and you were going to let them…I can’t believe you.” Jensen was cringing against the arm of the sofa. 

“It’s okay, I huffed and walked out for some air and met a wonderful priest of an Episcopal Church that’s around the corner from the house, the priest offered to do the wedding for us.” Jared told her.

“Oh good, not the huffing and walking out part, but at least you’ve got a contact point. Okay so we have to have you home, you get out what a week early usually for Christmas break?” She asked.

 

“Yes ma’am we’re getting out December 14th this year.” Jared noted

“That’s about a month away, okay, I’ll get with the circle at the church and probably a few others, and we’ll arrange you a wedding shower when you get here. Don’t worry we won’t make it all girlly frou frou, I’ll get Alan in on the planning with me and he can get some of the brotherhood involved.” She said making plans already.

 

“Mom, we’re talking about First Baptist of Austin. The last thing they’ll want to do is get close to a gay couple. For some reason straight people think we’re contagious.” Jensen huffed.

“Then you haven’t heard about Mildred Herberts son Kyle, he got married last week in the church to Luke Benson.” Sherri said excited.

“Wait a minute you’re saying the Baptist church went Pagan!?” 

“No silly, it’s part of the new Convention, they want to be inclusive.”

“Mom, we’re talking about the same church that said I was gonna burn in hell forever for liking cock.” Jensen said.

“They never said it to me.” Sherri said.

“That’s because you weren’t called before the Deacon board like I was.” Jensen said.

“When did they do that?” She asked.

“The same year old man Pierce caught me and Harold Baker making out in my car behind the church. They wanted to make this as painless as possible, but the threatened to bring you in on it.” Jensen said scandalized. 

“SO that’s why you quit going to church when you turned 17, I wondered about that.” Sherri said. “But Higgins Pierce threatened…oooh…if that fart wasn’t dead…oooh I’m tempted to go pee on his grave.”

 

“Don’t do anything you’d regret, Sherri.” Jared said.

“Jared hon, the last thing I’d regret it kicking that old jackass in the keister!” Sherri said defiantly. “Say now there’s an idea, you could get married here.” 

“No, mom.” Jensen said quietly.

“But why not, it’s the perfect solution.” She said.

“All our friends are here, granted for family it’d mean a drive or plane trip, but Austin holds some bad memories for me.” Jensen said.

“Such as?” She asked carefully.

“Mom didn’t you wonder how I got into shape? It wasn’t from working out in the gym, it was from running home from school with a loaded backpack to avoid the bullies.” Jensen said.

 

“Okay spoilsport, you can get married out there, but when can we go over planning the wedding?” She asked.

“Mom, I don’t want this a media event.” Jensen argued.

“It won’t be, but we have to work out guest lists, caterer, band or DJ, there’s so many details.” She said.

“Your mom makes a good point Jens.” Jared agreed.

“Okay first we confirm where this is going to be done, then we confirm the other logistics. For now though, I wanna lay down, I feel a headache coming on.” Jensen said rubbing his temples.

“Oh sweetie are you still having migraines?” She asked.

“Every now and then but not as bad as they used to be.” Jensen admitted.

“Used to be?” Jared asked.

“We used to have to take him to ER for a shot when he’d get them here at home. Don’t tell me that was a side effect of you staying in the closet?” Sherri said.

“Right in one mom. I’m going to pop a Imitrex and put a wash cloth on my eyes. You two carry on.” Jensen said getting up.

 

“Love you sweetie!” Sherri called.

“Love you more, mom. Talk to you later.” Jensen called back.

“Jared you go take care of Jensen, I’ll start making up a punch list of things to do.” Sherri said smartly.

“Okay Sherri, just, well, just keep it under a hundred.”

“We’ll see when we find out how many the chapel holds.” She said back happily. “Bye hon.” 

“Goodbye.” Jared replied. 

 

After hanging up he went to the bathroom where he found Jensen hunkered over the toilet retching. Jared stood and wet a wash cloth with cool water and laid it on his neck, then started rubbing his back. Jensen dry heaved a bit then took a deep breath and sighed. Standing he rinsed his mouth with water first, then mouthwash. Finally he took a pill bottle from his pocket and popped one of the Imitrex. 

 

“If you have any questions, you better ask now cause in 15 minutes I’ll be horizontal.” He said looking at Jared guiltily.

“Babe, why didn’t you tell me about this?” Jared said 

“Didn’t want to worry you.” Jensen moaned as they walked to the bed. Jared helped him strip down to his boxers then pulled the bedclothes back for him. “I don’t have them often, usually if a lot of stress builds up.”

 

“And my walking out didn’t help matters. “ Jared said climbing into the other side of the bed.

“Don’t go blaming yourself for this, hell I brought it on myself.” He admitted. Then he sighed long. “I’ll be alright just need some nap time.”

“I’m right here if you need me.” Jared said snuggling him close.

“Not exactly the way I wanted to break in the new bed.” Jensen admitted with a laugh.

“We got plenty of time for that. Just sleep for now.”

“Yes, mommy.” Jensen piped.

“Yes your mommy. Ought to spank you for this.”

“We can get kinky later, for now, night night.”

Jared kissed his temple gently. Then they kissed properly. There was plenty of time.


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen slept through that afternoon and into the evening, until his stomach woke him at 9:30 he looked up from bed and saw that Jared was sitting at the dinette looking over some schoolwork for the next week. His stirring got Jared’s attention. 

 

He rushed over and joined Jensen in the bed. “How you feeling now?”

 

“Better thanks, starved.” He replied.

“Come on, let’s go down to the deli they’re open late on Saturday’s.” Jared said. So, carefully helping Jensen up to his protestations of “I’m not a cripple” they dressed and went down to the deli where a late night meal was consumed. They sat together munching pastrami and corned beef on rye and drinking their beers in the sidewalk area of the deli. They were just finishing when the owner came out and brought them slices of Baklava. 

 

“We saw you moving in the other day. Glad to have some neighbours again.” The robust man had to say with a grin. “You are?”

 

“Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles.” Jensen said by way of introduction.

“Rufus Chaim. Me and the missus have had this spot for going on 18 years. So, are you roommates or more perhaps?” He asked with a twinkle in his eye.

“We’re planning the wedding now, literally.” Jared said with a grin back.

A huge meaty hand slapped him on the back. “Good for you!” He said boisterously. “Wait til I tell the missus, she’ll be thrilled. Uh, this is shameless promotion I know, but we do cater.” He said with a wink and went back into the deli leaving Jared and Jensen looking at each other and laughing.

 

“So,” Jared asked. “Is it going to be Padalecki-Ackles, Ackles-Padalecki, or just one surname?” 

Jensen looked at Jared with a smile, “I like Ackles-Padalecki.” He said taking a quick pull on his beer. 

“Thanks, that’s probably the sweetest gift you’ve ever given me aside from your beautiful body.” Jared said his smile warmer.

 

The finished their sandwiches and Baklava and finally got up for a stroll. Jared took Jensen around to see the church he found and they walked on around the block finishing up back at the door to their apartment. They were excited to see that they were in the Theatre district as well as a music area. It was busy enough in that part of downtown, but pleasant enough not to be cheezy. They strolled hand in hand, glad for the company. They walked up their flight to the apartment. Once inside they proceeded to slowly undress each other ending up in the bathroom shower, where after a good 15 minutes, they’d washed away the sweat of the day and got themselves ready for dessert.

 

Jared led Jensen to their bed and naked they climbed under the covers. They snuggled tight at first contented with just kissing. Then the kissing got a little more amourous as their blood heated up from the day and the events. Jensen reached down and stroked Jared slowly, building up for the evening to come. Jared’s cock hardened fast to the manipulations and it wasn’t long until Jensen was in the same boat. Jensen continued stroking Jared slowly, as he kissed and bit his way down Jared’s chest. Jared was groaning with desire that was the sum total of their communications during sex. Grunts, groans, and moans, and a few giggles, that was the sexual communication menu. 

 

They proceeded to kick off the covers as they were rapidly heating up with Jensen continuing to kiss and lick down to Jared’s crotch. At which point Jensen straddled Jared’s shoulders as they indulged in a delicious 69 position for quite a little while they sucked and licked at straining flesh then sucked and licked some more. Jared reached up and parted Jensen’s ass cheeks to expose his rosebud of an ass pucker. He bent up and laved the area generously with his tongue spearing the bud of muscle until he knew he was driving Jensen nuts. He went back to work on his cock, loving the texture and taste of the log of meat. Jensen had slicked back Jared’s foreskin and sucked at the beautiful plum red cockhead. He tongued his piss slit wanting more of Jared’s precome that was when he felt Jared fingering his asshole gently but insistently. Jensen returned the favour ironically finding that Jared was so relaxed that his first gate was wide open.

 

“What do you want J-bird?” Jensen asked breathlessly.

“You in me now.” Jared answered groaning again. 

“I think we can arrange that meeting.” Jensen said as he rolled off Jared and grabbed the lube out of the nightstand. Then slicking up his prick he lined up with Jared’s hole and gently probed him.

“Don’t be a pussy, give it to me.” Jared insisted his wanting and desire making him sweat. Jensen shrugged and shoved. “OH HELL YEAH!! That’s what I’m talking about.” Jared yelped as Jensen started riding him like a prize stud at mare. 

 

Both of them were packing a pretty good package so each stroke in was a delicious eight inches of sliding to Jared pulling on his ten inch cock. Jared speed up clawing at Jensen to shove it harder and deeper. Jensen’s eyesbrows shot up and smiled complying with the unspoken order. Jensen felt his first orgasm of the evening building deep within and said as much. Jared grunted and nodded his head urgently. Jensen felt his balls tighten as the orgasm rolled through him sending Jared over the top as well, shooting come to his nipple line. There was some more yelps and grunts as they rode the orgasm down until at last, sighing with immense pleasure, Jared pulled Jensen down to his level and kissed him soundly. He looked up at his lover, “That’s just round one.” He said with a distinct twinkle in his eye. 

 

They woke the next morning at 9:30 out of habit more than anything else and showered together again. Then Jensen looked at his love. “I noticed on that churches signboard they have a 10:30 service, we really should visit and get to know them if we are going to use their chapel for our wedding.”

 

“Um hmm, I loved all the crenelated stone and stained glass. The inside is just as beautiful.” Jared noted. So dressing in there better clothes they walked around the block and made it to the church at 10:35. The service was just getting started with the Priest, Acolytes and Worship Leader in the processional. The service was rich and moving with the priest’s voice echoing around the chamber. Jensen did a very rough head count and elbowed Jared. 

 

“Huh?” He whispered.

“Rough count, 150 and there’s still empty pews. We could do 200 easy.” 

 

They stood with the rest as Jared fell back into order with the Roman service at the Nicene Creed. They knelt with the rest for the Prayers of the People and finally the Father Jake stepped to the middle of the aisle. 

 

“The Peace of the Lord be always with you.” He said with a booming voice.

“And also with you.” Came the response. Suddenly they were having their hands shook and were welcomed by people who were complete strangers to them. Then people filed back to their seats as the Verger took charge of announcements. But first the verger asked, “I am looking around this morning and see a few new faces. I wonder if you would please stand and let us know who you are?”

 

Jared ducked a little in the pew but Jensen dragged him with him standing along with four others. They announced their names and they got around to Jensen and Jared. “I’m Jensen this my partner Jared, we just moved into the neighbourhood.” They nodded at the friendly faces and sat down to applause. Finally it came time for the Communion and Father Jake stood in the gateway of the altar rail and announced loudly. “This meal is given in love to all baptized believers in Christ.” 

 

When it came time and the ushers reached their row they were encouraged to join them for the Communion. Once that was over the service ended and Jared and Jensen found themselves the object of more than a few people’s attention who insisted that they join then in the Parish Hall for refreshments. They did and were suitably surprised at the hall adjacent to the huge Nave. 

 

“Our moms will go nuts decorating.” Jared said with a grin. 

“We’ve still gotta call Donna and Jerry and let them know.” Jensen noted.

“They’re gonna freak!” Jared said as they were dragged into the mass of welcoming handshakes and greetings until at last they got around to Father Jake. He was grinning at several and sipping at a cup of coffee which he sat down on a table when Jared walked up.

 

“Jared, so nice to see you again and in happier circumstances, this must be the lucky groom.” He said jovially.

Jensen smiled and took his hand. “Yes sir, Jensen Ackles.”

“Jensen! Well welcome to St. Barts. We’re a modest sized church but we do all right.” He said with some proprietary pride. 

Fr. Jake proceeded to introduce them around to what they assumed were the movers and shakers in the congregation. The reception went on for some time then Jensen looked at Jared.

 

“I love this and all, but I’m craving something a little more sustaining.” Jensen said.

“This morning got your appetite whetted? Well come my handsome fellow let us out to the world and see what mischief we can find.” 

They were headed out when a couple caught up with them that they’d met at the peace. Another gay couple, Tony Howard and Dennis Clayton. 

 

“We were going around to the Crossed Keys for lunch want to join us?” They asked.

“Sure!” Jared said excited.

“Come on,” Dennis urged. “It’s a nice little pub just around the block.” 

 

They chatted as they walked around to the quaint little hole-in-the-wall and were led in. “Don’t let appearances fool you this is really a great place.” Tony said with a grin.

 

Over lunch Jared explained that they wanted to be married. The news lit up Dennis and Tony’s eyes and they immediately started with recommendations on things.

 

Finally Tony asked. “So do you live in town or the burbs?” 

“We students at UCLA and have landed a great loft above Rufus’s Deli.” Jensen said.

“Oh yeah, we know the one, some friends of ours rented there several years ago, nice place.” Dennis noted.

“Yeah we’re working on lightening it up some, the paint job seems kinda dreary and needs a touch up.” Jensen said letting his artsy side take over for the moment. They talked some more and exchanged phone numbers promising to call and stay in touch. Then all too soon they were back on the streets wandering their way back around to their apartment.

 

“Well that was interesting.” Jensen said with a grin. “What do you think now that you’ve seen it in the daytime?” 

“I think I’d love to see you and me in tuxedo’s standing at the altar and the nave bedecked for a wedding proper.” Jared said with a grin.

“I have to agreed. I love it.” Jensen replied.

“I noticed you didn’t squirm too much this morning after last night.” Jared said with a grin.

“Five times is a personal best for me right now.” Jensen said returning the grin. “Now let’s get it over with.”

 

Jared stuck his tongue out as they stretched out on the unmade bed with Jared cell phone out. He dialed a number and put it on speaker.

 

“Hey big bother.” Came the hello.

“Hey Megan, what’s up?” Jared asked.

“Getting ready to graduate then plan on a college. What about you?” She asked bored.

“Tell you in a minute put Dad on the line.” Jared said.

“It sounds like you’re on speaker, are you on speaker!!!??” She yelped.

“Hi brat.” Jensen said with a smile.

“Hey sexy!” She shot back. “Just a minute. Dad! Phone!” She yelled. 

There was a pause and a pickup. “Son?”

“Hey dad, no I’m not calling for more money, I’m doing just fine thank you.” Jared said.

“I never said a word. “ Jerry barked.

“Actually I made him call. Hey Jerry!” 

“Jensen! Good to hear from you as well, what’s going on?”

“I’m calling to ask for your son’s hand in marriage.” Jensen said formally and with a grin.

There was a pause of a few seconds then, “Run that by me again.” Jerry said.

“Jared and I want to get married. We’ve found the church we think, and the priest.” 

“Catholic?” Jerry asked.

“Episcopalian, the next best thing.” Jared said.

“Okay, so when is the date set for?” Jerry asked.

“That’s just it we haven’t really decided on a date. We’re hoping to come up with something soon though.” Jensen added. “This is basically a warning call.” 

“What are y’all going to do about living space?” He asked.

“We rented a downtown loft apartment, it’s very spacious, perfect for the two of us.” Jared said with a grin.

 

“Well you don’t have to ask for my blessing boys, I’m glad you did though. Of course I’d be delighted to have you in the family and I can’t wait to tell Donna.”

 

“Tell Donna what?” A female voice could be heard in the background. Jerry switched the desk phone to speaker. 

“Go ahead and spring it son.” Jerry said.

“Jensen and I want to get married!” Jared said happily. He heard his mother yelp with delight and heard his sister in the background hooting as well. 

“So I take it that meets with your approval?” Jensen asked.

“Don’t be a smartass.” Donna said. “Ok, I need to go call Sherri we’ve got to coordinate plans on this.”

“Son I better let you go, I’m about to be flooded with estrogen.” He said desperately.

“Okay dad, we’ll talk some more soon, I’ll get some pictures of the church and send to you. We want it small not a state occasion.” 

“How many will the church seat, do you think?” Donna asked.

“I’m thinking about 250 to 300 if we packed them in.” Jared noted.

“Okay, I’ve got to get to work on this. Bye baby, I love you.”

“Love you to mom.” Jared managed.

“I’m going to go too son, I ‘ll get with Alan and we’ll see about planning you boys a stag party.” He said with a laugh.

“Dad, this is a gay wedding service, Do you realize what is entitled in a stag party?”

“Sure naked men. So I’ll be a little twitchy.” 

“What about if the strippers are a couple, man and woman, that would appeal to all?” Jensen said.

“Good idea kiddo. Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye Dad.”

“Bye Son.”

 

With that the call terminated and Jensen looked at Jared, “Let the games commence!” He said with a grin.

“Games is right with our parents. You realize what your dad and my dad will cook up.” Jared said.

“Look my folks live in Austin, yours live down in San Antonio. At least we’re in LA!” Jensen said. “Like that’ll deter them. I can see both families flying out here to scope out the area and the facilities and clubs. I wanted something small and plain but they’re going to make it a show.” Jensen griped.

“Look at like this. IF they want a show we can give them a fabulous one that’ll knock their socks off.” Jared told him.

 

“Okay guest list, we want to open it to the church folk of course, plus the frat and your music major buddies. We need to make a store run right now.” Jared said.

“Why now?” Jensen asked.

“If we’re going to start planning this we’re going to need beer, in quantity.”

 

Two hours later they’d come up with a tentative wedding date of July 15, 2013 that seemed good to them, that gave them eight months to plan and prepare. It would put them at midterm for the Summer Semester and would give them adequate time to go on a honey moon if they wanted. 

 

Then Jensen looked at Jared and shook his head and laughed lightly.

“What?” Jared asked.

“You’ll think I’m being silly.” Jensen replied shaking his head.

“Too late, you’ve got my curiosity aroused, what are you thinking?” Jared asked.

“Do you think we could go shopping for promise rings?”

“Like an engagement set?” Jared said looking at Jensen with a flame of hope in his eyes.

“Like I said, it’s silly, forget I mentioned it.” Jensen said shaking his head with a smile.

Jared leaned across the table and kissed Jensen fondly. “Forget it hell, let’s go. I love the idea.”

“JARED!” Jensen squawked its Sunday most of the downtown Jewelers are closed.

“That’s why God made malls!” Jared said as he pulled on his shoes and got up from the table. Jensen followed him out and downstairs quickly to their spot where Jensen’s Honda was parked. They drove to the nearest mall and walked the concourse and found three jewelers. They looked at a myriad of rings and could find anything so they packed up and went to the second mall where after looked at a myriad or jewelry counters packed up and went back to the first mall. It was going on 5:30 when they stopped in a Zale’s Jewelers and found twin silver bands with a diamond set in each one. The rings edges were polished to a high shine while the centre was brush finished.

 

They put down plastic and walked out with a jeweler’s box each. Then they went to the Delta Frat house where Christian was riding herd on a mild party of some 50 or so fraternity brothers. He saw them coming in and yelled. “BOUT DAMN TIME YOU SHOWED YOUR SORRY ASSES UP HERE!” 

 

“Love you too man.” Jensen called back. 

Christian, Harry, and Todd came running up. “Man you got here just in time we just finished welcoming three new members to the Delts!” Todd said breathlessly.

“Got sometime else for you if you can get a group of them settled down enough.” Jared said.

“What’s that man?” Christian asked.

Jensen pulled the jeweler’s box from his pocket and showed off the rings. “Oh my freaking God!” Christian said. 

“We’re going to get married at St. Bart’s Episcopal Church on Concord, on July 15th. We expect the delts to be there. Well at least some of them.” Jensen said with a grin. 

“The loft that we got is at 1387A Pierce Street downtown.” Jared told him.

“Write it down for me or email that later when I’m not wasted. For now.” He got up on a table and blew an air horn getting people’s attention, they quieted down considerably. “Jared and Jensen decided to crash the party.” 

A cheer went up for that. Two more blasts on the horn called them to quiet again. They got an announcement.” Christian said.

“July 15, 2013, don’t worry about remembering that date you get an invite. Jared and I will be formally tying the knot at St. Bart’s downtown. We want all the civilized folk to be there.” Jensen called out. “In anticipation of that.” He took out his ring and held it aloft, Jared took out his ring and did the same. 

 

They shouted to be heard. “Jared, I promise to be true to you alone until we wed.” Jensen said. Jared repeated the same vow. There were cheers and boos and general bonhomie as put the rings on each other. Then they were passed a red solo cup of beer each. They twined arms and drank.

 

“Aw shit may, too much estrogen here ladies.” Christian said and Jared could swear he saw a gleam of tears in his eyes. They rejoined the party cheers and cheering went on for some hours until at last it broke up and folk started to peel away from dates or other activities. Jared and Jensen, along with Chad, Todd, Harry, and Christian peeled off to the Delts living room where there they were able to have a comfortable sit down chat with their members. 

 

“You realize what this means don’t you?” Christian told his brothers. “We going to have to get sized for tuxedos.”

“Absolutely we want y’all as our groomsmen. And I’ll grab some from the Music majors group.” Jared replied. 

“Do you guys realize you’re setting a first? You’ll be the first gay students here to get married!” Chad said excitedly. “This is gonna be big news.” 

“You realize as well.” Harry started. “That as probably one of the first gay couples to get married after prop 8 was killed, you’ll be media heroes as well.”

“Oh my God, Jared I never thought on those lines.”

“Don’t worry about it Jens. We’ll wade through it all just like we have been doing. I.love.you.” He said demonstratively.

“Same here no doubt, but this won’t be just a piece for the campus press, we’re liable to draw like newspaper attention.” Jensen ventured.

“Yeah and just think how that’ll work for our résumé’s.” Jared told him.

“Jens baby, you worry too much.” Todd said with a grin. 

“Built-in worry meter!” Jensen said desperately. “I just want this to be special without being you know, fucked up.”

Christian looked at him and grinned. “I’ll go through the Delts that know you and pull a group from there with permission to attend and I’ll make them promise to be on good behavior. Frat colours I assume.” 

 

“Oh shit man, we’re not even to that part of the planning but yeah, let’s plan on the Frat colours, red tuxedo with a white sash. And what for the Music hall?” Jensen asked.

“Black tuxes with purple sashes.” Jared said.

“And we’ve just started the planning phase. Our fathers will undoubtedly contact the houses about a stag party, we’ve talked them in to a couples stripper team, male and female. That way everyone gets a little sizzle.” Jared said. 

 

Absolutely NO “E” at this party!” Jensen demanded.

“Hey you know my policy on Ecstasy.” Christian remarked.

“Yeah but I wouldn’t put it past someone to try and slip it in a drink.” Jensen said critically.

“If that happens and I find out who did it then they’ll get house discipline, the whole wad.” Christian said with Harry nodding.

“Yeah, no playing with that shit at an event like this.” Harry nodded.

 

Jared took Jensen’s hand, “We’re going over to the lake for a walk, walk off some of this buzz and come up with some ideas probably.”

“That’s scary.” Todd joked.

“It should be.” Jared said with a wicked grin. “We’ll check in later guys.” 

They shook hands all around and vacated. Once over at the lake that was part of the campus they found a quiet place to park then struck out on the trail that went around the lake. Jensen looked at Jared at one point. “I just can’t believe how calmly you’re taking all this.”

“Part of my training as a music major, learn to prioritize your crises. We’ve got seven or eight month’s babe, let’s play with it some.” Jared said gripping Jensen’s hand.

 

“Are you sure you want to do this, there’s plenty of time to back out.” Jensen said carefully. 

Jared looked at him with a hurt expression. “The way you’re going on, you’d think you’re the one getting cold feet. I LOVE you Jens, have for two years and had a crush on you to start with. “

 

“Not getting cold feet, I guess I’m scared is all.” Jensen said.

 

“Don’t worry my fragile princess, I’ll battle through hells legions to protect you!” Jared shouted out extravagantly.

 

“DO YOU MIND!” Jensen hissed. “And I’m not a fragile princess.”

 

“No, you’re just nervous before we even get started planning. And we got two great wedding planners in our moms. All we gotta do is take some pictures of the church and parish hall and they’ll do the rest, all we’ll have to do is pick out the tuxedos for ourselves.” Jared said throwing an arm around Jensen’s shoulders and pulling him into a tight hug. 

 

“We’re going to have red on one side and black on the other. I’ve got a suggestion if you don’t mind.” Jared said tentatively.

 

“Please suggest away.” 

 

“Everyone in cream tuxedos with the cummerbund the house colour, at least that’s what I think would look good.” 

 

“Oh good idea, take away the clashing possibilities. But why cream and not black. Black would be more formal.” Jared asked.

 

“Did you notice how much stone and woodwork is in that church, if we wear black they’ll just see head and hands.” Jensen said.

 

“Yeah, we’re going to have to work with that.” Jared noted.

 

They walked in peace then just watching the wavelets on the water as the breeze blew steadily. They were passed by the jogger or cyclist, no one really looking twice at them. Until they heard a sneering voice.

 

“Lookout boys it’s the fag brothers.” 

 

Jared and Jensen stopped and turned facing down three members of the Alpha’s house. 

 

“Don’t, Jared, they’re not worth it.” Jensen sighed. “You realize that your fraternity is missing a golden opportunity.” Jensen said smiling slightly.

 

“What?” The leader asked.

 

“We’re getting married.” Jensen told him.

“The fuck!” The leader of the group said advancing with fists.

 

“You can get the bug squash beat out of you by us, or you can invite your frat to attend the wedding. Look at it like this. There is going to be publicity, hell we’re not the first marriage to come out since prop 8 died, but we’re going to do this right and big. Some of your frat shows up as guests and gets free publicity.” Jensen said grinning now.

 

“Hold the phone guys.” The one to the rear left said and dragged his compatriot off a distance. They argued and fussed a bit. But in the end the logical one evidently stepped forward, “We’ll send a delegation of six members to represent us as long as we get in some of the pictures.”

 

Jared and Jensen stepped away from them for a minute and had a low voice discussion. Finally coming to an agreement, Jared spoke. “Okay, your delegation shows up, doesn’t interrupt the service and gets a photo opt with the Delts. It would serve to show both houses have something in common.”

 

“We ain’t got no fags.” Dumb boy said.

“I sincerely beg to differ, I know of at least 6 couples in the Alpha house right now.” Jared said. “We’re not asking you to kiss and make up with us. Just accept the fact that there are fags around here, we got a voice, and we’re not afraid to use it.” Jared shrugged and smiled. “Beats getting your ass kicked.”

 

“COME ON ROY, LET IT GO!” The logical one insisted then he and his buddy grabbed the dumb one by the shoulders and dragged him back. “We’ll take care of matters in the house. So long as the agreement stands we’ll honour it.”

 

“Good” Jensen said. “Both houses should work together rather than feud. That shit gets old.” 

 

The “delegation” dragged the dumb boy away as they were dragging dumb boy shook them loose and charged Jensen with a boot knife out. 

 

“ROY! You dumb sack of shit!” The logical one shouted. As Jensen casually stepped aside from the attack sticking out his leg to trip him, which happened. Roy landed hard as he fell. The logical one stepped up. “I’m Gary, sorry about this incident, we really aren’t homophobes.”

 

“No, you just don’t like queers.” Jensen pointed out as he grabbed the knife hand beat it to the ground causing Roy some pain. Pain enough to let go of the knife. 

 

“We’ll deal with him.” Gary said giving Roy a hard look. “You can back down now with grace, or you’re out of the house and that’s just for starters.” 

 

“All right.” Roy griped. “Fags!” He muttered.

 

“We’re here and we’re queer, get used to it numb nuts.” Jared popped back at him.

The small group cringed at that and shuffled off in disgrace. Jared shrugged at Jensen who just smiled and kissed Jared in a more public setting this time. There were a few bypassers who gasped, but no problem children to give them any more trouble. The continued their walk and finally ended up at their starting point. 

 

“I think I know another reason I happen to love you.” Jared said looking Jensen in the eyes.

“What’s that big boy?” Jensen said relaxed.

“You’re learning to be more at ease with being gay.” Jared noted as they walked towards the car. Once at the car Jensen turned around before getting in and gave Jared a huge hug.

“That’s for helping me be more out and less afraid.” Jensen said with a smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Jared hugged Jensen then got into the car. It took a few minutes of fighting traffic but soon enough they were parking and getting ready to go up to their apartment. They were feeling pretty mellow until they saw a small group come out of the deli carrying cans and bottles of various beers. 

 

“Come on up guys.” Jared said to the detachment from Delta house and the Omegas. There were 12 in all and it was an easy stretch to pack them into the apartment. 

 

“What’s up Chris?” Jensen asked.

 

“We heard about the mix-up you two had with the Alph’s.” Christian said angrily.

 

“Yeah, that shit’s gotta stop.” One of the musicians said.

 

“Andy,” Jared said addressing the speaker, “It has, we have an agreement out of them to have a delegation of 6 of their house at the wedding. We gave them fair warning what would happen if any fights broke out. And I expect you folk to honour our truce as well.” 

 

“We’ll honour it.” Andy said as the other three music majors nodded grudgingly. Christian and the Delta’s nodded as well and gave them all a good moment of peace.

 

“So what else is up?” Jared asked.

 

“Somebody broke into our house.” Andy said. “We know it wasn’t a Delta or Theta, we’re not sure about the Alpha’s.” Andy said. “We’re leaving a guard of four there at all times armed with baseball bats.”

 

“Whoa! Hang on a minute what happened?” Jensen asked.

 

“Somebody or bodies broke into the house when we were all out the other day. They trashed the place and damaged Charlie’s viola, Heather’s Cello and my violin beyond repair. We’ve taken it to the provost we’re just waiting to see what administration does before we take action.”

 

“Oh man not Charlie’s viola, man that was kid sister to a Strad.” Jared said referring to a Stradavarius branding. 

 

“He’s pissed off as hell about it and planning to sue the school since the house is on school grounds for failing to provide security systems to the houses to prevent shit like this.” Andy told him.

 

“That’s just one reason we signed up the Delt’s house with ADT today. We’re not going to give someone a second chance. So far the Alpha’s haven’t denied the break-in but Gary their house co-leader said that they would conduct an investigation.” Harry said from behind Christian.

 

“Why do I take that as code that they aren’t planning to do anything?” Jensen asked.

 

“That’s why we’re taking steps.” A music major named Sandy told them. “The last thing I want to see is my clarinet battered. So if the Alpha’s won’t own up and the Provost doesn’t find something soon we’re going to be our own defence system.

 

“This is just fucking great.” Jared said with a grimace. Then he looked at his cello and Jensen’s guitar sitting secure in their corner. “Jen…baby we’re going to have to look up some security for this place.” He said firmly.

 

“I know, that Gibson of mine is insured for $5,000 which should just about cover replacement.” Jensen noted.

 

“Yeah, I know, my Stainer is insured for right at $25,000, I got it at a good time and from a source that really didn’t know what they had.” Jared said.

 

“That’s just it Jared, there’s others in the house that have period instruments as well. They’re scared.”

 

“The Delt’s are going to start a watch in the neighbourhood. We’ll personally deal with these cretins.”

 

Jensen passed by Sandy was gratified to see that they had not damaged that case of beer that was in the refrigerator too badly. “Hey everybody how about a beer to relax with?” That was a moot question at best, they were soon relaxing with a beer, with a beer run on the way, as well as a pizza call in. 

 

Sometime around 4:30 and three pizza’s later the group meeting/party was called to a halt. The folk helped clean up and the Musicians volunteered to take the beer cans to recycle. So trash was fairly minimal. As the last of the group disappeared Jensen looked at Jared and nodded. 

 

“First thing I hope they find who did this and fry them, second we have got to look about some drapes or screens to sequester off our bedroom space.”

 

“Feeling a little exposed are we?” Jared asked with an understanding smile. “Look, its hours yet before they close the malls for the evening let’s go do some shopping.”

 

Four hours later they returned having plundered their way through the Antelope Valley Mall they grabbed a bit of supper and them made their way back to the loft. It took two trip to and from the car to get their finds in but the first was wire a turnbuckle to a ceiling pipe, the running some cable, Jared fixed off the other point, finally turning to Jensen who was just putting the last drapery hook is a set of gorgeous curtains that were doing with a continental Asian flavour. With ideograms, and flowers along with some contemporary scenes screen printed. The curtains were exceptionally long and pooled slightly on the floor. The kept more than enough space available for living, but had made their bedroom area private and cozy. Especially cozy with the addition of the two lamps replace the older mismatched lamps they’d had for the bedsides. They also invested in three pillar candle stands made of iron which they set up in the bedroom area, then tired and satisfied they shut down the lights in the rest of the apartment, checked the lock on their door and then went to bed. They were especially proud of a thrift store find they had in a massive chest which rested at the foot of the bed. It was made of cedar and after some elbow grease on their part, gleamed like a new diamond. They sat on that to undress and then crawl under the covers.

 

“Happy with the day’s events?” Jensen asked.

“Yes and no. I’m glad we found what we did, makes the bedroom space more sensual, but I’m pissed off still about whoever broke into the M&M’s house that was just wrong on all counts.” Jared said emotionally. Jensen rolled into his side and lay there cuddled up against him content. 

“Babe there’s nothing we can do to change that right now. We can just hope that whoever did this is caught.” Jensen said rubbing his hands in circles on Jared’s chest.

“Classes start back tomorrow.” Jared observed. 

“Yeah, I haven’t forgotten that. How about an end of Thanksgiving fling to celebrate.” Jensen said nipping hard on Jared’s shoulder.

“Sounds good to me.” Jared said with a grin as he turn out his lamp, Jensen did the same as they fell into each other’s arms.

 

The next day’s first class for both of them was Cultural Philosophy 1101. They really both didn’t look forward to that but sucked it up and went into class dropping in seats and immediately regretting the injudicious move as it sent shafts of exquisite pain from two abused asses through their bodies.

 

“Rode hard and put up wet?” Christian asked from behind Jared.

 

“In fact…yes.” Jared said with a grin.

 

“TMI dude.” Christian said with a laugh. 

 

“Don’t ask if you don’t wanna know, keep it up and we’ll go into details.” Jensen said with a sweet smile.

 

“Oh fuck me.” Christian said just as the professor walked into the room.

 

“No Mister Kane, I don’t think I shall, however, you may do me a three page summarized report on Hagel and have it ready tomorrow morning.” The professor said plainly as he walked up to his desk.

 

“I’m gonna nail you for this Ackles.” He whispered.

 

Jensen turned, looked at him and pursed his lips in a kiss.

 

Thus another day started for them. They waited as the professor got into place then shifting slightly prepared to take notes. 

 

—W—

 

Four months later!

 

Jared we’ve been to nearly every formal wear shop in LA, why can’t you just settle for a plain cream tux?” Jensen moaned as they climbed once again into Jensen’s trusty little Honda. 

 

“Because I’m only getting married once, it will be to you, for the long haul, and I want this to be perfect.” Jared said. “Let’s go back to that first mall we were at, I want to take another look at that one.”

 

“Are you certain you don’t have any female hormones going on that you’re not telling me about?” Jensen said looking at him.

 

“I promise 100% male through and through.” Jared said laughing. “Look I promise after this one, I treat you to a scrumptious meal of your choice.” 

 

“Deal! Ruth Chris Steak house downtown on Brainard. Better have that plastic handy dear hubby of mine to be. You’re paying for gas and dinner. 

 

“Damn you drive a hard bargain.” Jared pouted at his best.

 

“Plus some serious sex play tonight.” Jensen sweetened the pot.

 

“Deal. Let’s go.” He said even though they were already moving well through the perimeter traffic well. It took over 45 minutes to get back to point A but they made it and found a primo parking spot. Going back into the mall they went to the formal wear shop on the third floor. As soon as they walked in they were spotted by the sales clerk.

 

“Back so soon?” She asked.

 

“Was that cream tux the only choice you had?” Jared asked hoping for an alternative. 

 

“Yes, I am afraid so, however you have such gorgeous skin tone, you both do that I think you could pull off one I was going to suggest.”

 

“What one?” Jared asked puzzled. She disappeared to the back and came back out with a buttercream yellow tux. It was the palest shade of yellow but against their California tans, even Jared had to “ooo” over it. 

 

“What were your measurements again?” She asked. Then after a moment disappeared to the back and came out with two garment bags. “These are brand new, never been worn. Go ahead and try them on.” 

 

After several minutes they came back out into the sales area dressed in the tuxedos and true to her word, once they got a look at themselves in them they jumped at it. 

 

“Can we reserve these for July?” Jensen asked.

 

“I’m sorry those are sale only because of the oversize for your groom there.” 

 

“Probably cost out the wazoo!” Jared complained bitterly.

 

“Not really, they came from a discontinued line, together they would run…” Her fingers flew on the calculator, “…with tax $540.”

 

“You want to do it?” Jensen asked. He could see Jared cogitating it. “I’ve got some extra left over from that concert we worked a week ago, we can swing it and not hurt.” Ten minutes later they were in street clothes carrying two suit bags to protect their purchases. 

 

“Want to get these back to the apartment first?” Jensen asked.

 

“Let’s, I’d feel more secure about it in the apartment than in the back seat of the car.” Jared told him. The drive back to the apartment took an extra hour due to some congestion on the bypass. Once there, Jared made Jensen wait in the car while he ran the suits upstairs. He was down a few minutes later and they were threading traffic once again to the steak house. 

 

“The upside is that we can have the groomsmen dressed in white, ivory, or black tuxedos and it’ll still look great. I’m glad that I haven’t spent all that money dad gave us for the bed.” Jensen said. 

 

“Yeah, that’s gonna come in very handy. We should call our folks tonight and tell them what we found and what we’ve decided on.” Jared notioned.

 

During supper they passed meaningful glances at each other, then Jared reached in his pants pocket and pulled out a velvet box pushing it across the table to Jensen.

 

“What’s this?” Jensen said puzzled.

“A little something extra for putting up with me today.” Jared said with a grin. 

Jensen opened the box and closed it real quick. “Where’d you get this?” 

“Picked it up earlier in the week.” He said blushing slightly to match Jensen’s furiously red blush.

“A matched set no less.” Jensen said.

“I knew the sizes to get. No problem.” 

“I expected anything other than a matching set of cock rings.” Jensen said in a hushed tone. 

“Put them in your pocket, we can try them out later.” Jared.

“I could go put mine on now, I popped an instant boner.” Jensen said.

“I’m sure you could be I don’t want you to injure yourself. Later.” Jared insisted.

 

Later at the apartment, Jared called his folks first on speakerphone of course.

“Jared?” Jerry answered.

“Hey dad, get on speaker so mom can hear too.” Jared said.

“What’s up son?” Jerry asked.

“Just wanted to let you know we found our tuxes today and got them. They are a luscious pale yellow.”

“Then you’ll want the groomsmen in black, don’t worry about the photography, they pictures you sent have about the same tone as Alan and Sherri’s church, yeah we’ve been having some logistic meetings.” Jerry said.

“You could’ve told us.” Jared said his tone forced into calmness.

“See I told you we should’ve done all this on a conference call.” Donna said quickly. “And your dad’s right the lighting at their church matches the pictures pretty well, we got to see another couples wedding photos taken there and it turned out quite well. But I’m glad you settled on a pale yellow, that will highlight your skin tones real nicely.” 

“That’s what the sales clerk said.” Jared noted. “Okay, so what other decisions have you made that we don’t know about?” 

“Jared.” Jensen pleaded. Jared shot him a glare.

“First of all we’re going to split the overall costs between families since there is no bride in all of this.” Jerry said.

Sherri put in, “Have you even settled on roles yet?” 

“Mom!” Jared said embarrassed while Jensen cawed in laughter. Jared shot Jensen a glare now.

“Sherri, that’s something we’re still working out at this end. We’re just happy being together.” Jensen said over his laughter. 

“Good answer son.” Jerry replied.

“Okay we’re going to let you go for now, I am assuming the Episcopal Church has the same views as the Roman church with regards to flowers in the Sanctuary?” Sherri asked.

“We can have candelabra’s and two fresh arrangements in the sanctuary, in the nave they’ve got pew markers with candle holders that we can decorate. We’ve already talked with a local deli who has a catering sideline and they agreed to work with the bakery on the cake and stuff. We need to get an idea from your end who we should invite before we start adding our friends.” Jared mentioned.

“Hon you give us the numbers of friends you want to have and we can work in family.” Sherri shot back.

“Hey the fire marshal rates the church at a capacity of 310. We’re gotta count at least a hundred just in our friends in the church, plus another let’s see. That’s 6 Alpha’s, 30 Delta’s, 16 Theta, 30 Omega’s so figure in an extra 100 plus family. 

“Ok hon, let me give Donna a call and tell her what we’ve talked about and we’ll go from there.” Sherri said. 

“Mom, give us a few on this end we want to talk with Jensen’s folks first okay?” Jared said.

“Sure, I’m sorry, where was my head. Okay you call them and I’ll start putting together the list of those I think will come from our side.”

“Okay, thanks mom, dad, talk to you later.” 

 

They said their good byes and disconnected leaving Jared and Jensen looking nearly cross-eyed at the plans that were spinning around in their heads. Then Jensen stiffened slightly. “Guess I better go ahead and call the folks while it’s kind of early.”

 

After several rings Donna answered, “Jensen baby, how are you?” 

“Hi Mom, I’m fine, just run crazy with plans for this wedding.” He admitted.

“That’s why I told you to let me and Sherri handle that, that’s what is supposed to happen anyway.” Donna replied.

“Look sweetheart you’ve got two months to go, just take it easy. You have a party planned here on the 6th, then you’ve got your party there on the 8th. Between the two you’re going to need that week to rest up for the wedding. We’ve already got the lists started and invitations have been printed, you send us your guest list we’ll work in ours them mail them out, we can get that done by the end of the week. You’ll want Megan in the wedding but there’s no place really for a flower girl.”

 

“No, what I want is for her to be a soloist, I’ve heard her and she’s quite good. So let’s work the solo in as part of the prelude. We’ve the “Trumpet Voluntary” as our wedding march. We’ll enter together go through the rites, make it to the parish and pass out.” Jensen said extravagantly.

“You’re really getting overwrought by this. You and Jared need to take some time, I take it the groomsmen have their tuxedos on reserve?” 

“Yeah, they did that last week. We’re on the downward skid. We’ve going in for one for counseling session with Father Jim tomorrow afternoon and then that should be set.” Jensen said quickly.

“You’ll email me a guest list from your end?” Donna said. 

“Jay pull up the prelim guest list we got made, yeah that one.” Jensen said to Jared. “Yeah that’s the one, go ahead and shoot that in an email to your mom and mine.” Then back to the call he had going. “Sorry mom, got a copy of the guest list on the way.”

 

There was the briefest pause which to Jensen felt like an eternity.

 

“Baby, nobodies pressuring you into doing this and if you’re doing it for publicity then you’re doing it for the wrong reason, no matter how much you love each other. “ Donna said trying to calm him. 

“I wish people would get off our backs about that.” Jensen said his voice suddenly brittle as he fought the tears that were forming.

“Wait a minute baby, what do you me you wish people…. Has someone been making life hard for y’all?” She asked.

“Oh it seems just about anyone we turn to these days and talk this over with are all saying the same damn thing.” Jensen said, tears flowing now. “You’re doing to as a publicity stunt. You’re just in this for the attention, and that the good stuff.”

“What’s Father Jim saying to you?” She asked kindly.

“If we love each other enough then that’s good enough reason, and he knows we’re not in this for publicity. We just want to be married. I’m part of Jared’s life already, I want us to share ourselves completely with each other.” Jensen said then sniffed loudly. “Oh God! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall apart on you.” He said firming up.

“It’s okay sweetie, you wouldn’t have if you hadn’t needed to. Now I’m gonna keep you another minute then I want you and Jared to spend some quality time together and talk this out. I’ve done gone ahead and registered you here with Gittings.”

 

“MOM!” Jensen said gasping.

“No MOM about it. There are some folk who don’t know what to get a couple so good china is always the answer. You’ll love the pattern, bone white china with a ring of fruit and a gold banded edging. Very bright and colourful.” Donna told him.

“Sounds lovely.” Jensen muttered.

“I’ll send you the registry link where you can see the pattern. That should give you something positive to go on.” Donna said. “Now you and Jared cuddle up with some wine and enjoy the evening.”

“Okay mom, good night.”

“night” and the call was over.

 

Jared reached across and took him by the arm and pulled him into an embrace. “What’s the matter?” He asked softly.

 

“Mom has got us registered with a china pattern at Gittings. And if I know some of those little old ladies that go to hers and dad’s church, we’ll have a full set by the time the actual ceremony comes around.” Jensen said miserably.

“What’s wrong? You were talking about publicity stunts and that bullshit. Jens it was just some Alpha’s being pricks like normal. Let it go.” 

“How can you be so calm?” Jensen asked flustered and angry. “I would expect you to show a little feeling about the matter.” 

“Jens baby, just because I don’t go off the boil when shit like that starts up doesn’t mean I ‘m not thinking about it. I just learned a long time ago to save worrying and anger for things that merit it, not every little thing that comes along.” 

“Oh, so now I’m hyperemotional.” Jensen said pulling back.

“No, now you’re acting like a spoiled brat. Come here and calm down.” Jared said pulling him back against him. “Shhh, close your eyes a minute and just drift. Don’t think about the bullshit other peoples said or things you can’t control. Just relax.” Jared said in a smooth, rich whisper.

Jensen did proceed to melt against him and snuggle in closer. “I just want the 15th to get here and for us to be officially hitched.” 

 

“We pretty much already are.” Jared said with a light laugh. “I’ll be so glad to be through this too, I can’t wait for you to me Mr. Jensen Ackles-Padalecki.” He said a feather light kiss brushing his temple. “I love you, and I love you so much that I don’t know exactly what the hell I’m doing most of the time. It’s a good thing I have classes to concentrate on other wise I’d be for shit.” 

“Now you’re making me melt into a puddle of goo.” Jensen said inhaling the fragrance that was Jared alone. Clean soap, a touch of something floral, maybe something in his deodorant he thought laughing to himself, then there was a spicy undertone that was all Jared. He sat there snuggled and comfortable in those thoughts, feelings, and smells. It was going on 8:30 when they heard a buzz from the downstairs door. Going over to their intercom. Jared spoke.

 

“Yeah?” 

“Jay-rod, Dani here.”

“Oh hey just a minute.” He said pressing the buzzer to release the door lock downstairs. He and Jensen hear them before they got to the apartment door. Jared went ahead and opened the door causing Gen’s knock to be aborted.

 

“What are you two up to tonight?” Jared asked.

“Or who are you up to?” Jensen said playfully.

“Smartass.” Danneel said. “We came around to visit ya since you haven’t graced our presence in several days.” 

“Dani, I’m so sorry but this wedding is really fucking with our minds right now.” Jared replied.

Danneel just looked at him for a moment then said one word, “Elope.”

“What!?” Jensen wanted to be sure he heard her right.

“You heard me, elope, grab each other’s skinny asses, go haul yourselves to the local Justice of the Peace and get hitched then hide away for a few days.”

“Our parents would kill us considering how much they’ve put into this already.” Jared said calmly.

“They’ll get over it eventually, so you’ll have to put up with pissed parents for a while, you’ve done it before haven’t you?” Genevieve asked.

“Yeah but not to a fuck up of this magnitude.” Jensen told her. “Look I don’t know about you two but I’m starving, want to join us downstairs at Rufus’?” He asked, “That sound all right to you Jay?” 

“Sounds perfect.” Jared said and the girls nodded heads, so grabbing keys off the side table they left the apartment and went to the deli in search of sustenance. Once served they clinked beer bottles together in a toast.

“To us, fags that’ll do anything mostly legal.” Gen said with a grin.

 

They sat and chatted about simple for a while, mainly surrounding the plans for the wedding and what they’d accomplished and what was needed to pull together. 

 

“Look, if we are going to start talking wedding stuff in detail, I’m going to need more beer.” Jensen said signaling for a waitress.

“Oh you’re such a drama queen.” Danneel told him. 

“I’m getting married in two months, according to our respective parents, it’s going to be an epic event. I DON’T WANT EPIC!” Jensen said angrily.

“You don’t?” Jared said confused.

“Jared, I love you, really I do, I want to be married to you, but I never counted on all this!” He said then wilted slightly.

“Too late to back out now. Two months to go, we’ll make it.” Jared said calmly.

“You’re taking this all so easy.” Gen noted to Jared.

“Not really, I’m a nervous wreck, I’m just on some good meds.” He said with a grin.

“Maybe you should share some with Jenny here.” Dani said looking at Jensen with some concern.

“I think he functions fine without them. Besides I have ways of calming him down.” Jared said, his grin if nothing growing wider so the dimples showed.

“Way too much information!” Dani said laughing.

“Nah, no way,” Gen started, “it’s just starting to get interesting.”

“Perhaps the subject in question should be included in this conversation.” Jensen said peeved.

“Oh don’t get your thong in a wad baby. Of course we’d include you in the conversation, and you do need calming down. “ Dani told him with a predatory smile.

“Sometimes you can be scary.” Jensen said grimacing.

 

“Oh you take life way too seriously Jens, you go about thinking you’re Mister-cool-my-shit-don’t-stink frat boy, when in actuality you are mortal like the rest of us.” Dani noted.

“Dani, calm down.” Gen said quietly.

“Sorry, you’re right I was getting slightly out of hand.” Danneel agreed.

“That’s slightly!!” Jensen yelped. 

“Jared have you got some liquor upstairs?” Gen asked.

“Yeah, we keep some around for guests and the occasional tipple, ourselves.” Jared noted. “But it’s off limits to Jens right now. The last time he got drunk he did something very naughty.” 

“You did naughty!! Details please!!” Dani asked.

“How about we skip the details for now.” Jensen said blushing.

“Yeah right, we are in a public setting, but once we get private I expect a full recounting of your naughtiness.” Dani replied.


	5. Chapter 5

They stayed there for three more beers each with Jensen picking up the tab and then finally they took their last beer, waved goodbye to Rufus and his wife and went upstairs. When the door to the apartment closed Jensen walked over and fell into an easy chair. Jared was walking a bit wobbly but nothing major. That was when Jared turned the conversation to Genevieve. 

 

“So Gen, when you gonna show off some of that art of yours?” Jared asked smiling.

“If I had any to show off.” She said depreciatingly.

“You’ve got plenty if you just believed in yourself more. That duplicate of the Renoir with the few additions. I couldn’t afford it at the last starving artists sale, but now…if you still interested in selling it that is?” Jared teased.

“You fucking whore you.” Gen said with a grin.

“That’s me!” Dani growled. 

“Shh. Of course it’s still for sale if you really want it.” She said.

“Good I want some art around here. I’m tired of looking at these blank walls.” Jared said bemoaning the décor.

Dani looked to Jensen for a response and found him snoring.

“Three beers and he wasted. What a wuss.” Dani said.

“I shouldn’t have let him have that third one. He knew with his meds he can handle at best two now.” Jared said.

“Wait, what about meds?” Gen asked concerned.

“Last month was bad, he would get his classes in and the work done, but if you mentioned or tried to get him to talk wedding stuff he would get major anxiety on. So we started going for couples counseling and our doctor wrote him a script for Prozac and Respiradone. The doses are spaced out but with that stuff in his bloodstream it reacts funny to alcohol.” Jared said sadly. “Just keep it a sorority secret okay?” 

“Geez! Is he going to be okay?” Gen asked concerned.

“He’ll be fine, I’ll wake him in a bit and get him into bed. Now about some art. Dani are you still sculpting?” Jared asked.

“Are you willing to take on a commission for me?” Jared asked.

“You don’t need to ask twice, what are you looking for?” She asked.

“A bust of Yo-yo ma.” 

“Ohh give me a challenge sometime. I love to do busts, get your mind out of the gutter both of you, but really, yeah I’ll take that on. How big?” She asked.

“Half scale?” Jared replied.

Danneel nodded, “Gonna cost you a little bit, sorry.” She said apologetically. “That much clay ain’t cheap.”

 

Jared whipped out his cellphone and tapped the screen for a minute then turned his attention back to Danneel afterwards. “No problem, got some money in the account for a change.”

They laughed. “Yeah living on the ragged edge gets old.” Gen said. “But you’ve been playing the scene haven’t you?” 

“Yeah, doing a few gigs here and there, that’s one reason I got some money to play with.” He looked over at Jensen and smiled warmly. “Plus I’m teaching Jens some classical numbers for his guitar and we are dueting. That’s brought in a bit. Oh hey, that reminds me the Omega’s are sponsoring a recital this weekend at the Bank’s house on campus.” He got up and quickly walked over to the curtained bedroom area and in a moment was back with tickets in his hand. “We would love for you to be our guests.” He said with a grin.

Dani and Gen took a ticket each with a grin. “Wouldn’t miss it.” Dani said.

“You play a hot cello.”

“I’m playing two pieces plus a duet with Jens.” 

Then Gen sat back looking at him closely, “How is the counseling going?” She asked, “Or is that crossing into none-of-you-business land?” 

“Not really, not with just us. It’s going good.” Jared said and smiled as he looked at the sleeping Jensen again. “It’s going real good, we’re making some headway. I so calm about the whole deal I think it’s scaring him. But I just can’t get that worked up about it. I’m looking forward to it. And yeah, I know it’ll be the ‘social event of the season.’” He said throwing his arm and hand out dramatically. Gen and Dani laughed. “By the way we’d like you two to have a front row seat.” 

“That’s too much Jare.” Dani said. “That’s for your family and guests.”

“You’re our special guests and god knows your family. The church is nice if a bit cool inside with all the stonework. But it’s really special to us.” Jared replied.

“So we might want to consider something like a jacket we can slip in and out of?” Gen asked.

“Good idea, I mean in high summer so far it’s like the AC is on in there and it’s just ceiling fans.” Jared noted

 

“Fansss?” Jensen said groggily.

“And on that note we’ll say goodnight.” Dani said with a grin getting up from her seat as did Gen. They exchanged hugs with Jared and waved goodnight to a drunk Jensen and let themselves out of the apartment. Jared went over in the meantime and gently rubbed Jensen’s cheek.

“Hey sunshine.” Jared said with a laugh.

“Fuck your sunshine, what’d you mean letting me have three beers?” Jensen muttered through what felt like glued together lips. Jared understood most of it and laughed. 

“Love you too babe, come one let’s get you to bed.” Jared said helping Jensen stand. 

“Pit stop.” Jensen said.

Jared helped him to the bathroom and afterwards to undress as he made an attempt at gracefully lying down which was more of a flop onto the mattress. He looked owlishly at Jared for a moment and then accusingly. “Did you tell them?” 

“About what?” Jared asked.

“Drugs…figured that’d come up.” Jensen said wobbly.

“It did come up, I told them about the Prozac and Respiradone.”

“Not about the Zoloft and Wel-bu-trin.” Jensen said slowly starting to come a little more around. 

“That’s for you to tell if you want.” Jared said caressing his cheek then kissing him. After the third long kiss Jensen was asleep again. “Good night sweet prince.” He said to Jensen softly. A small smile played around the corners of Jensen’s mouth.

 

The next morning Jensen woke first and made his way to the bathroom where the first order of business was a shower. Jared hearing the water running got up as well and stripped off joining him under the spray. 

 

“How are you feeling this morning?” He asked.

Jensen gave him a nasty look. “You let me have that third beer on purpose.” He said accusingly.

“I did not, you didn’t have to drink it.” Jared shot back.

“Not like frat house days when I could drink a six pack and still be going.” Jensen muttered.

Jared laughed and soaped up his scrubby and washed Jensen’s back then took the scrubby to himself with some gel. Soon they were both covered in suds so they rinsed while they still had hot water and then shut off the tap. Getting out of the shower they dried each other off and opted for boxers and bathrobes. In the kitchen Jared got coffee started while Jensen popped some bagels in the toaster. After a few minutes they had a breakfast of strong black coffee, bagels with plenty of cream cheese and pear preserves that Jensen’s mom had sent them the previous week. They were getting care packages from home with plenty of good solid home cooking. Jared thought they’d hit the mother lode with the preserves until his mom sent up two of her jam cakes. They did the smart thing and froze one, doling out the other one to the guests that they had from time to time as well as taking a chunk down for Rufus and Mildred who immediately asked Jared to get his mother to send him the recipe. 

 

Thankfully for them they didn’t have any classes early this bright morning, Satudays were always a day when they could stay in and enjoy things. Then after an hour of lounging they got dressed and went down for their morning jog. Today took them around the Times Square of their neighbourhood. It was the stock market district and was peppered with taxis coming and going, Mercedes sedans parking and a multitude of formally dressed men and shirt sleeve stock brokers. They made the run and ended up back at Rufus’ where they sat and enjoyed a couple of bottles of water each, then some of the special morning cooking that Mildred or Rufus had been up to. This morning it was Latkes with plenty of applesauce for the dipping. They would have refused the fried treats from anyone else, but they could never turn down the Chiam’s cooking. They got up and stretched then ran and addition two laps around their apartment neighbourhood, before stopping and then jogging up stairs for a second shower, a quicker one this time with more attention paid to the drying off aspect.

 

Once clean, and dressed for the day, they started with housekeeping chores which mean that Jensen did the washing and drying of dishware while Jared loaded up the washer that was plumbed into the capacious bathroom. Once that was done it was time for some snuggle time, it was always time for that Jensen would croon into Jared’s ear.

 

“Do you think we’ll be like this in twenty years?” Jared asked, as he sniffed Jensen’s clean hair. 

“I think we’ll be like this in fifty years.” Jensen replied. “I gotta admit though it’s a drastic change between living here and living in a frat house.”

“That being…?” The door buzzer sounded downstairs. Jared hopped to get it and looked at Jensen. “You’re spooky sometimes.”

 

“Yeah!” Jared said into the unit. 

“It some of us.” Christian said back to him.

“Hold yer water.” Jared replied. He buzzed them in and then opened the apartment door to admit Christian, Chad, and Misha Collins of all people.” 

“Hi guys, cop a squat.” He said in his broadest Texas twang. 

“What’s up guys, this is early for you on a Saturday?” Jensen asked.

“No kegger this weekend, we’re dry.” Chad moaned.

“Ah, out of money in the frat kitty.” Jared replied.

“Yeah it’s a bit dry, Harry’s hitting them up today to replenish it. We already put in our two bits.” Christian said. “Jared I got a real big favour to ask you.” Christian started.

“It must be big if you brought the mighty Misha along.” Jared replied to which Misha gave him the finger. “You wish.” 

“Boys, no fighting now. We’re past that.” Jensen said with a smirk.

“Maybe you are Jenny, I’m still chafing a bit.” Misha said.

“You were the one who wanted to do a three way with us.” Jared remarked baldly.

“Well just come out and call me a drag queen while you’re at it!” Misha griped.

“I warned you about Jared’s equipment but you didn’t listen, then you tried to take it in one go.” Jensen spouted.

“Gentlemen, while this is all very interesting I’m sure, and it’s poisoning my mind with imagery I’d rather not think about.” Christian started again. “We got a charity event that we’re part of this next week. All the houses are chipping in to throw one for the AIDS Foundation, but we need an opening number. We could use a DJ, or maybe one of the acid groups on campus, but do you think you could get together with some of the other music majors and work up an opener for us?”

“Where’s this gonna be held?” Jared asked.

“We’re thinking the Stadium with good weather, or in the Gym complex if not.” Chad said.

“Make it the complex and we’re in otherwise you’re gonna have to lay down some bucks to rent a decent speaker system. That mickey mouse one in the drama hall won’t cut it.” Jared told him.

“Okay, we do it in the complex. We’re looking for something fun to open with but something everyone knows and is comfortable with.” Christian said.

“Already working up something to play right now. It means mucho practice time for our group. Why didn’t you come to us sooner about this?” Jared replied.

“We were gonna open with the Joiners metal group, but were advised by the Dean that something more sedate would be befitting the opening, then we could go wild afterwards.” Chad admitted. 

“So we’re sedate!?” Jared said with a raised eyebrow.

“You know what we need, that mini-orchestra you got going can pull off some cool shit.” Christian told him.

“Uh Jens, it’s going on noon.” Jared said by way of reminder.

“Oh you gotta be somewhere?” Misha asked standing.

 

Jensen waved him down. “Sit down, it just time I took care of something kinda personal.” He said stepping into the bathroom a moment. 

“Anyway back to the gig! You’re in for this?” Chad asked.

“Provided the Omega’s get something in return.” Jared said grinning slightly.

“Oh God, here it comes.” Christian said as Jensen came out of the bathroom and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. 

“Got some cold ones in here if anyone is interested.” Christian automatically raised his hand. So did Chad and Misha. Misha watched out of the corner of his eye as Jensen looked at his palm a moment then tipped it up swallowing something with water. He came out of the kitchen with three beers and looked at Jared, who shook his head politely. Jensen sat down with his bottle of water.

Misha was the first to comment. “Too good to drink with us now?” He said jokingly.

“Nah, it’s just a little early for me.” Jensen said.

“Bullshit, you used to have beer on Cheerios if I remember right.”

“You do and I did, but I can’t have any right now, okay?” Jensen said with a ‘drop it’ look.

“Jens man, is something going on here?” Christian asked curious himself all of the sudden.

Jared looked at Jensen who turned crimson before answering. 

“Nothing to blush like that over dude.” Christian said.

“I’m.Not.Blushing.” Jensen said through clenched teeth. “I’m trying to be cordial about this. I’m not on the wagon, it’s just I’m on some meds alright?!” 

“Dude, anger much.” Chad said waving his hands at Jensen. “Chill dude.”

 

Jensen did something totally out of character he stood up and started to leave the room then threw his hands up in the air spinning on them. “I’m on antidepressants and mood enhancers, happy now!!??” He stormed.

“Are they working for you?” Christian asked as if nothing happened. 

Jensen came over and sat down slowly on the couch with Jared who slung an arm around his shoulders. 

“They were, for a while, now I’m not so sure.” Jensen said miserably.

“Okay so what they got you on, Paxil, Zoloft, Prozac?” Chad asked calmer now.

“Prozac and Zoloft with Welbutrin twice a day and Respiradone at bedtime.” Jensen admitted.

“Shit you’re a walking pill bottle.” Misha countered.

“Yeah, And I’d just as soon drop the topic.” Jensen said.

“Wait a minute man, if they aren’t helping you, you gotta talk to your doc.” Misha said concerned.

“Doc don’t have Saturday hours.” Jared pointed out.

“No, but I bet he or she has an answering service that can get important information to her and this is important man.” Christian said leaning forward looking around Jared at Jensen. “This is like mega-important.”

“I’ll try.” He whirled on Chad, “And if you quote Yoda, I’ll kick your ass six ways from Sunday.” 

 

Jensen got up suddenly shaking slightly and pacing nervously. “Jens, you’re scaring me babe, come and sit down.” 

“Can’t sit, too much to do, wedding to plan.” He said statically.

Jared jumped up and looked at the guy’s, “Christian, I could use some help here.”

“Sure man what can I do!?” He said immediately at his side while Jared stood there holding Jensen. “In my wallet there’s a laminated card in the bills area. Get that out and call the number on it. Dial the number then hold the phone to my ear. Misha was looking worried now and got up and got on Jensen’s other side bracing him The number rang through.

 

“Dr. Branson’s office, I sorry but she is away from phone right now, if this is a medical emergency hang up and dial 9-1-1 otherwise stay on the line for the Answering receptionist.” Came the atonal response then. “Dr. Branson’s office.”

 

“This is Jared Padalecki, my partner Jensen Ackles is a new patient of Dr. Branson’s. He took his noon dose of meds consisting of 1 Welbutrin, he’s already had his loading dose of Zoloft and Prozac for the day. Now he’s pacing, hyperactive and at this point got me real scared!” Jared said.

 

“Ok, Mr. Padalecki, hang up immediately with me and call 9-1-1. I will inform Dr. Branson of what is going on.”

“Thank you.” Jared said as he nodded to Christian. “Dial 9-1-1, we need an ambulance here immediately.”

 

Jensen was practically vibrating in their arms. He got Misha to help steer him to the bedroom where they got him laid down on the bed.


	6. Chapter 6

“Jared, do-don’t lea-leave me. P-pplease!” Jensen begged as started vibrating a little more.

“I’m not going anywhere babe. Come on; walk through this one with me.” Jared begged. 

“This one! You mean he’s having repeat episodes?” Chad asked appearing around the corner. 

Jared nodded quickly and hugged Jensen tightly. “The other reactions were prick teasers compared to this. It’s gonna be okay, I promise you it will be. Please relax.” Jared said as Jensen’s eyes rolled back and he was out. “It’s all my fault for suggesting a marriage in the first damn place.” Jared said blinking tears away.

“Jare, ambulance is on the way.” Christian called then he looked to Chad, “Go downstairs and hold the door for them.”

“On it boss.” Chad said on the run.

“Anything else we can do man?” Misha asked.

“Okay, just let go of him.” Misha and Jared backed off then remembering, Jared rolled Jensen on his side. “In case he has a seizure.”

“Say what?!” Misha and Christian said.

“You didn’t hear me say it but he’s been having some minor seizures. But he’s never went down like this before.” 

“Ja-ed” Jensen moaned. 

“I’m here babe. Take it easy helps on the way.” Jared told him.

“Guys here.” He muttered.

“I’ll be goddamned if I’m going anywhere yet.” Christian said which caused a small smile to play over Jensen’s lips. Suddenly he jerked twice moaning. 

 

“Jensen, we’re cancelling this damn wedding if it’s going to do this to you.” Jared said fighting his own emotional battle.

“No…not…to close.” Jensen said through clenched teeth. Just then the sound of a siren could be heard and minutes later two EMT’s standing by with a gurney in the living room ready to go. They prepped him with an IV needle and got his vitals. Nodding.

 

“Do you know your name?” One of the medic asked.

“Je-sen Ack-l’s.” He answered brokenly.

“What today? Do you know what day of the week this is?”

“Tu-Wes-day.” 

Suddenly Jensen started crying and couldn’t stop. The tears which were streaming turned into broken sobs.

The medics called in their findings on their radios. They were advised to administer Ativan and get him on an IV and transport. They got the IV bag plugged into the needle, and pushed a max dose of Ativan into the line. His sobs slackened slightly, then he passed out again. The EMT’s looked at each other as Jared pulled the curtain back to give them quicker access. 

“On three, one…two…three.” The EMT at the head counted and they lifted Jensen like so much dead weight and transported him to the gurney. Once on the gurney and strapped in place they put their kit boxes between Jensen’s legs and started down the stairs with him. At the bottom a small group was gathered. Jared had grabbed an envelope and jammed it in his pocket then followed them down. 

“I’m his partner.” Jared said.

“Fine you ride up front with me. Let’s go.” The EMT said running to the cab. Misha, Christian and Chad took care of the locking up Christian grabbing keys and wallets. 

“Let’s go guys.” They all quickly jumped into Chad’s Prius and took off after the ambulance. Luck was apparently with them as they manage green lights all the way through to the ER. Once there they had Jensen out of the ambulance and rolling him into the emergency entrance. Christian got quickly parked and grabbed Jared.

 

“Here you’ll need these too!” He said pushing keys and wallets into his hands. Jared pocketed the lot and headed to the main desk. 

 

“Excuse me my partner Jensen Ackles was just brought in.” He asked the nurse at the front desk.

“Yes, we’re getting him into a treatment room now, I afraid that’s all I can tell you at present.” She said quickly.

“Hey! I’ve got full power of attorney, you can tell me more!” Jared said worriedly plucking the envelope he’d hoped never to have to use but glad to have it now. The nurse looked over the document. 

“May I make a copy of this for our records?” She asked.

“Sure.” He said absently Christian and Misha bracketed him with Chad behind.

“Easy big guy, they’re taking care of him be a little patient with them.” Christian said trying to soothe Jared. 

The nurse returned and handed him the important document back which he again pocketed. “You may come in, he’s in treatment room 6 straight back.” She said quickly buzzing him through. Christian, Misha and Chad took seats in the far corner of the waiting area anxiously. In the room there was an older middle aged lady, evidently a doctor that was looking over him. She turned to Jared.

“Give me detail son.” She asked quickly. Jared was thankfully on his “A” game with memory recall and gave her a detailed recall of what had happened. She smiled gently and nodded. 

“He’s had a bit of a breakdown, with the stress he’s been harbouring it’s not surprising. His vitals look good though, so I’m going to admit him overnight for observation and then in the morning we’ll make a determination if extra treatment needs to be considered.” She said kindly. “You might want to take this time to call his folks, it’s going to be a couple of hours before we have a room ready, sorry.” She said. “Oh and I had some blood drawn, we need a complete blood work on him quick.”

 

First he did a speed dial to Christian.

“Yeah Jay-rod?”

“Admitting him gonna keep him overnight and make a determination tomorrow. But from what I saw this afternoon we’re not going anywhere soon.” Jared told him quickly

“How long this been coming on?” Christian asked.

“He was calm this morning, we went for a run, came back and showered, had breakfast, just a regular morning. I think he’s ashamed of being on drugs and that on top of all this wedding nonsense.”

“Now wait a minute Jay, it’s been calm lately unless something is going on behind my back.” Christian said.

“No, nothing like that. He’s just up one minute, down the next. I’m like the doc, I think he’s been cashing this back for a full blown whammy like what’s going on. Look, I need to call his folks, as soon as I get a room number I’ll text y’all.” 

“Okay dude. We’re staying put.”

“Gotcha. Talk more in a bit.” 

 

Then hanging up from that call he dialed Alan and Sherri, not a phone call he was looking forward to, he was grateful he got Sherri.

 

“Hey Jared, how’s it going?”

“It’s not.” Jared said his voice fragile.

“Jensen?” She asked.

“He’s had a breakdown, I’m at Cedars-Sinai, waiting on a room.” He said tears in his voice.

“What happened sweetie? Shh take your time with this.” Sherri said. And he recounted the morning and the past week. When he got done he heard Sherri swear in an uncharacteristic manner.

“Well goddamn it!” She said. “I told him to leave those details to us.”

“You know Jens.” Jared said crying softly.

“I ain’t gonna said buck up and be strong, you got your own load to sort out, but you two work together. Me and Alan will be on the first flight out there.” She said.

“Sherri! I have no idea how long he’s gonna be here, he may be released in the morning.” Jared protested weakly.

“And if he is you two will need some help around for a little bit. Now let me worry about the rest and you concentrate on Jensen. Give him a hug and a kiss from us.” She said.

“I will” He said his voice sounding small.

“It’ll be alright Jared, you just watch and see. Now you go to him.”

“Yes ma’am.” Jared said.

“Bye bye honey.” Sherri said.

“Bye.” Jared said pocketing his cell phone he walked over to the bedside and looked down at Jensen who was sleep-frowning. Jared reached out and stroked his cheek fondly humming a piece they’d been working on together. He bent down and kissed Jensen fondly, and on some level Jensen was conscious as to what was going on as he softly returned the kiss. When he pulled back he noticed a slight smile on the lips now. “It’s gonna be okay baby, I’ve got you took good care of, we’re at Cedars, and you’ll be going into a room shortly.” He sniffed. “I’m not gonna say I’m not in the least bit worried, I’m frankly scared shitless. I wasn’t prepared for this and I didn’t know what to do beyond the basics, but evidently that was enough. Please hold on to yourself. I love you wedding or no. I.LOVE.YOU.” Jared said emphasizing each word. 

“You...t’.” Jensen breathed. Jared clutched his hand and held it to his cheek as his tears flowed unchecked.

 

The door to the treatment room opened as Dr. Branson came back in and saw Jared attempting to wipe his eyes. She walked over and patted his shoulder. “You need to let some of this out as well. You’ve both been under the gun.” Jared nodded numbly. “Got a room number 438, we’ll have him up there shortly. Two visitors at a time for no more than a half hour for right now. Those two include you. Are his parents coming out?” She asked. Jared nodded again. “Good, when they come in we’ll bend the rule and let all three of you have as much time as you need. But we gotta give him some quiet time too. That’s why there’s no TV in the room. He’ll have to be satisfied with newspapers and gossip. I’ll go ahead and tell you up front, I like the look of his bloodwork so we’ll probably have him as a guest for three days max if all else goes good.”

 

“I thought you said overnight?” Jared argued.

“I am doing what I think is in the best interest of my patient. I had a little time to think this over and three days maximum at this point.” Dr. Branson said firmly. “A nurse will be in here in a moment with some admissions paperwork to be filled out. Then we’ll get him to his room. See you this afternoon.” She said as she left. Jared whipped out his cellphone and texted the room number to both Christian and Sherri. Then as promised he was handed a clipboard with several forms to be filled out. Most of it he knew, some items like Jensen’s social security number he had to check his wallet for. He finished shortly and took the clipboard to the admissions nurse, passed her one of their credit cards and after all that data was taken he went back to the room and waited grasping Jensen’s hand tightly. 

 

“Come on Jens, help me here babe. We got a wedding in less than two months and you’re going to be my blushing bride if I have to roll you up there in a wheelchair.” Jared said tightly, tears threatening again, but this time he managed to choke them back. “Come on Jens, come back to me please.” He begged.

 

Jensen slept on fitfully but he slept. After about an hour the door to the treatment room opened and a pair of orderlies entered unplugging his bed and making ready to transport him.

 

“Do you have anyone waiting for you our front?” One of the asked.

“A few friends why?” Jared noted.

“You might want to go catch them up, he’s going to be sleeping for a while with the dose of Ativan that he was given. Give us an hour and we’ll have him safe in his room.” The young man smiled. He said the matching bands. “Married?” He asked kindly.

“Engaged. We got a wedding in two months.” Jared said distractedly.

“He’ll be there.” One of the orderlies said.

 

Jared walked out to the waiting room and found Christian and crew waiting. 

“Well?” Chad asked quickly.

“He’s sleeping for right now. We’ll know more when he wakes up in a while. The way it works it this. We get him to his room, he can have two visitors at a time for thirty minutes during visiting hours.” Jared forced himself calm to be able to think things through. He looked at Misha and passed him the keys. “I need you guys to go back to the apartment and get his meds, they’re in the medicine chest in the bathroom. One of you bring the Honda over and someone pack me a change of clothes please.” Jared asked.

“You don’t have to ask twice.” Christian told him. “Come on guys.” They hugged Jared and left. Jared in the meantime found an elevator and got to the fourth floor and found his room. It was plain enough painted a quiet blue, with a view that looked out over the front of the hospital. He stood at the window musing for several minutes when the door opened and the orderlies came in pushing the bed. They got it in place and plugged back in. 

“Thanks guys.” Jared said politely. 

“No sweat man, hope he gets well soon.” And they were gone.

Jared pulled up a chair close to the bed and sat here running the back of his fingers down Jensen’s cheek. Jensen stirred a little then and cracked his eyes open wearily. He said where he was which scared him, but then he saw that Jared was with him and that calmed him a little bit.

 

Jared stood and tenderly kissed him. “I’m not that fragile.” Jensen rasped.

“You were a while ago.” Jared told him.

“It’s all so fuzzy.” Jensen said.

“No wonder that. You’ve been out of it for a while. Dr. Branson will be back around after while but basically you had a breakdown.” 

That woke Jensen up wide eyed. “All I remember is us talking about that gig this coming weekend, and then shit went haywire.” 

“Man I don’t know what happened to you, mainly I think it was a culmination of all the stress you’ve been piling up and stockpiling back over this wedding business.” Jared said tetchily.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He apologized. 

“I know you didn’t man it was just the way things happened.” Then Jensen started trembling again and tears sprung to his eyes. “Hey, stay with me babe. Please.” Jared begged and slowly the trembling died down but the tears felt freely. Jared reached over and grabbed a washcloth to use as a hankerchief and proceeded to gently wipe the tears away, only to have fresh replace them. “It’s gonna be alright, I promise.”

 

“I don’t know know Jay, I don’t think I’ll ever be right again.” Jensen said through the tears. 

Jared smiled down at him tears of his own gathering, “You will be if you let yourself.”

“Hug?” Jensen asked. He didn’t have to ask twice, Jared lowered the rail on the bedside he was on, and then reached down taking Jensen up in a passionate hug and kiss. 

“I love you for always.” Jared told him.

“Same here Jay, forever and always.” Jensen said then managed a joke as his tears subsided. “We are a couple of saps.” 

“Maybe but you’re my lovable sap.” Jared said as Jensen yawned. “Want to take a nap? I’m right here with you.” 

“I know, I just feel like I’m sleeping my life away.” Jensen said.

There was a tap at the door as it opened to let Dr. Branson in. She walked over to the bedside and smiled down at him. “Good you’re awake, at least for now. You were a bit hazy when you were brought in and in a state of what our forefathers would have called nervous prostration. You were having a meltdown.” She told him. “You’re not better now, you are over the first hump in the path. Do you remember what we spoke about on the last session together?”

“About how I was storing up anxiety like a bear stores fat for the winter.” He said with a slight smile.

“Good, some things you do remember. Do you also remember that I gave you some exercises to get rid of the tension?” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

“You haven’t been doing them have you?” She said with a bit of a smile.

“Not all the time, no.” Jensen admitted.

“And so we are here.” She looked at his chart and nodded. “Bloodwork looked exceptionally good. You’re a little high in potassium, but that’s not a major problem. What is however, is this retrograde look that we have on your magnesium level. You’re going to be getting oral doses of that while you’re in. Also we’re going to have some therapy sessions daily for the next three days. You’re going to have two hour visiting hour sessions three times a day. You’re visitors may only stay 30 minutes on a shift. But your partner and your parents will have some special privileges.”

“My p-parents.” He stammered.

“Yeah when I couldn’t get you to come around and you were brought in they were the first people I thought to call.” Jared said quietly.

“May as well start the first session now.” She said as she took a laminated sheet from her notepad and hung it on a peg on the rooms door.

“Therapy Session in progress, Do not disturb.” It read.

 

At the apartment Christian, Chad, and Misha were gathering up the essentials for Jared and Jensen then they started back over to the hospital. Traffic of course was horrendous for a Saturday afternoon. When they finally got there they were sweaty and tired. They found the room and without looking on the door they barged into the room. 

 

Dr. Branson turned calmly in her chair. “Good afternoon, I take you are not the parents, and that you are fluently literate in English.” She stated flatly. “Read the sign on the door and observe it’s demand.”

 

Christian looked at the sign on the door and turned flipping her off. 

 

“I’m sorry, while I’m fluent in American Sign Language that’s a new one on me. Step outside please.” Chad laughing dragged Christian out of the room before they got them into real trouble.

 

She turned her full attention back on Jensen. “Ignore the man behind the curtain.” She said plainly which got a laugh from both of them. She nodded and smiled. “Good you can find something to laugh about. Find more of those points and remember the “NO” exercises we talked about. We’ll work more tomorrow.” She said getting up and showing herself out of the room.

 

Christian came in with two packs. “Clothing and drugs. Both of yours. Someone else failed to tell us he was on drugs.” He said shooting Jared a malevolent glare.

 

“What good would it have done?” Jared commented.

“True, but it would’ve put a cap on how much beer you get at our keggers.” Christian said severely.

“Get that phone pole out of your ass and sit down for a while.” Jensen said looking pale but not shaking.

 

“So you gonna be alright Jen?” Christian asked sitting in the chair the doctor had vacated.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine in a few days. I’m afraid you’re going to have to get the ensemble to play without us.” Jensen said.

“I’m not worried about that right now. You scared the bejeezus out of me back at the apartment. Man what happened?” Christian asked concerned.

“Nerves overloaded and I blew a fuse simple as that. I’ll be fine, I can do my homework from here, Jared will be in my classes and we’ll go from there.” Jensen told him. “It’s not all gonna be easy, but it’ll work for a while.”

“Folks on the way?” Christian asked.

“Yeah, Sherri said they were taking the first plane out. Which means they’ll be in sometime this evening.” Jared said. “I know you’re pissed about that Jens, but there was really nothing else for it.” 

“I’m not pissed at you, pissed at them for thinking that they have to drop everything to rush out here to hold my hand.” Jensen said disparagingly.

“Be glad you got parents that’ll do that.” Christian muttered.

“Yeah dude, sorry about that.” Jensen commented.

“As to the keggers, just have some O’Douls in the fridge or on the table and we’re good.” Jared said smiling.

“Whimpy ass beer.” Christian said.

“Well it’s like that Palin cat with Monty Python said. American beer is like making love in a canoe. It’s fucking close to water.” Jensen said grinning.

“Now that’s good to see.” Christian said. “You actually, honestly grinned.”

“I have been recently.” Jensen said confused.

“No man those have been mostly made up grins, forced.” Christian told him.

 

They bullshitted on for a while then Christian stepped out to give Chad a turn and finally Misha who was a bit more withdrawn than the others.

 

“Mish, what’s wrong dude?” Jared asked.

“If I’d known this was coming on I would’ve postponed our party last week.” He said guiltily.

“Don’t even try to go there.” Jensen commented shifting in bed. “You ain’t about to angst out and feel all woe is me and try to take the blame on this for yourself. Besides, even with your raw ass, it was fun.” Jensen said with a grin.

“And on that note I’m gonna bid you a fond farewell.” Misha said rising and blushing furiously. He nearly ran for the door.


	7. Chapter 7

“Dude I gotta pee, help me up from this thing.” Jared walked around and lowered the bedrail and helped Jensen sit up carefully. Then with careful steps dragging his IV tree with him he made his way to the bathroom, took care of business and was walked back to bed. Once there he rolled on his side while Jared raised the rail on his backside. Then Jared walked around the bed facing him and noticed his grimace.

“Hey, you okay.” 

“Headache.” He muttered.

Jared pressed the call button and ordered something for his head. A few minutes later the nurse was in with a pill cup, Jared poured him some water and he knocked back the tablets.

“Will these make me sleep?” He asked too late.

“Probably that was Tylenol with Codeine. “ She told him with a smile. “You need to rest anyway.” She said with a nod as she left.

After a few minutes Jensen was fighting sleep. Jared was holding his hand so he cupped his cheek with his free hand.

“Go to sleep, you’re fighting it and it’s not going to do you any good.” Jared commented.

“Only if you promise not to go away.” Jensen said groggily. 

“I may go is to the bathroom, that’s it dude, sleep.” Jared said with a smile then leaning in they kissed and Jensen drifted off to sleep. He napped that time for about three hours with Jared alternately awake and dozing with him. He cracked open his eyes and saw that Jared was dozing so he closed his own eyes for a few minutes more rest. Dinner was served about an hour later. After the third time of hearing Jared stomach grumble, Jensen shook his head. 

 

“You need a dinner break, go down to the cafeteria and grab you a bite, please.” Jensen asked plaintively.

“Ok, I don’t have to be asked twice for that one. I am kinda hungry, I’ll go down and get a plate and bring it back up with me.” He said. He was gone for several long minutes and Jensen started to panic slightly then when he thought he was at his breaking point, Jared came back into the room carrying his tray which was slightly loaded down for him. 

 

“I saw what they served you and I knew it wouldn’t do so I grabbed you a cheeseburger with fries.” Jared said sitting the food on Jensen’s tray. A broad grin lit his features as he dug into the meal. Jared dug into his chef salad with some gusto as well. Afterwards they were well fed and watered as Jared would be wont to say, they settled back with Jensen holding Jared’s hand almost desperately.

 

“Hey, Jen, it’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.” Jared said with a fond smile.

Jensen tried to smile but it came warped with unshed but gathering tears. “You can do so much better than me though. I’m all broken up a scratch and dent.” 

Jared’s eyes seemed to flare for a moment. “Jensen I love you and only you. You may as well get over that fact right now. You’re stuck with me.”

Jensen cringing slightly muttered, “I’m just afraid you’re going to leave me.” 

“Only if you really want me to.” Jared said semi-seriously.

Jensen changed in a moment and suddenly flared to life. “No, Jay, no, please no, don’t go, stay with me.” He was panting now and on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Calm down baby, I’m staying right here until you’re released. If I have to be gone it’ll just be for errands or class, but I’ll never ever, ever cut you out of my life. That just isn’t going to happen.” Jared told him firmly then reached up and hugged Jensen with Jensen hugging back again with that desperate intent.

 

They sat there for several more minutes and then Jensen dozed off again. Jared wasn’t complaining, he sat back and watched the pulse of the city right outside their window. While he slept Jared made one other call. 

 

“Father Jim?” Jared asked.

“Jared, son what’s wrong?” He asked suddenly on point.

“Jensen in the hospital, we’re looking initially at three days.” Jared told him.

“I’ll have Tina add you both to the prayer list tomorrow. Is there anything I can do personally?” Fr. Jim asked.

“You can maybe visit tomorrow at some point.” Jared asked.

“I was planning on that now anyway. What’s the matter with him?”

“Nerves.” Jared answered quietly.

“Ah, understood. I’ll see you both tomorrow then.” Jim said.

“Thanks Father.”

“Bless you son.” He said disconnecting the call.

 

It was at 8:00 that night that the door opened and Sherri and Alan came bustling into the room.

Sherri went immediately to Jensen’s outstretched arms while Jared got up stiffly and walked around the bed to greet Alan.

 

“I want to thank you for being there son.” Alan said his voice slightly rasping. 

“I know sir, I’m glad that I could’ve been there. Just wish that there was more than I could’ve done.” Jared told him.

After Jensen got through a tearful greeting with his mom, he tried valiantly to pull himself together for dad. Alan noted this and waved his hand in front of him. He eyes watery. “You don’t need to fake it with me son.” 

“Dad” Jensen said brokenly , the two embraced warmly as tears fell onto Jensen’s shoulders while Jensen cried as well.

After what seemed like forever they finally stood around as a family. “Not exactly catching me at my best.” Jensen said wiping his face with the sheet. 

 

“It doesn’t matter son, what matters is that you’re going to get well.” Alan said firmly.

“Dad this isn’t like one of your management projects just can jump in and fix by crunching numbers.” Jensen said sadly.

“No baby, this is gonna take group efforts.” Sherri said adamantly.

Jensen sighed and stared at the ceiling for a moment. “I feel like such a wuss.” He said distractedly.

“Jens, you’re not a wuss, you’re just trying to do it all.” Jared said.

“That’s right, that’s what Donna and I are about, sharing the load to make this go off easier. I got your list of names added them to the family list and we come up with 125 family and friends.” She said.

“That many!” Jensen said in wonder.

“You’ve got a lot of people who are looking out for you.” Alan told him. “Speaking of which I checked our Health Insurance policy, you’re still listed as a member, so this hospital trip is taken care of.”

“Thank God, I was worried about that.” Jensen started.

“You were worried, I was sweating bullets.” Jared said smiling gently.

 

Sherri walked around the room a moment. “Mom grab a seat.” Jensen said. She turned from looking at a painting. “Son, we’ve just been sitting on a nonstop from Dallas to LAX. My butt’s tired.” She said with a grin. Then she walked over to the foot of the bed. “But there is something else you’re not telling me. If you were a girl I’d be asking if you were pregnant. However…Is it something you can talk about, right now?” 

 

“No mom, it’s pretty raw for me. I don’t know how I’m going to handle this much less get help from y’all.” He said quietly.

“Well, we’re here and we’re not going anywhere until you get released. So get used to it junior.” She said pointedly, but smiling fondly.

“Okay mama.” Jensen said with a returning smile.


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning Jensen was awake at 6:30 like normal and looked around the room. He remembered his folks coming in then leaving late in the night to get a room at the motel next door to the hospital. Jared was there. Then he had a panicked feeling and looked around the room, he was alone. “Where was Jared?” He mind peppered then he saw the door to the bathroom closed and logic figured it out for he when he heard a flush then a moment later Jared coming out to try and silently wash his hands.

 

“It’s okay, I’m awake.” Jensen said looking somewhat relaxed now. “Can you let these rails down man, I’m not a two year old in a bunk bed.” 

Jared walked over, “They’re up for your protection, but yeah I think for now they can come down.”

 

He lowered the rails and helped Jensen to stand. He was sore from lying as long as he had been. First things first however, as he proceeded to the bathroom, after he was through and washed he climbed back into the bed but ran the head of the mattress nearly vertical in an effort to get into a comfortable sitting up position. Jared helped him by adjusting the legs and he was finally comfortable. The morning nurse came around making first rounds. She smiled when she checked in and saw that Jensen was awake. Then noted that Jared was still there she keyed in an entry on the iPad she was carrying before walking into the room.

 

“You’re looking better this morning.” She said with a smile.

“Feeling better, just kind of tired of lying around.” Jensen said complaining slightly.

“I know, bed is boring. But you can crank it up like that or sit in the recliner. As long as you’re someplace you won’t accidently take a tumble all will be good.” She said with a grin.

“Ok, that works for me.”

“Oh, I already took the liberty of ordering another breakfast tray for the room. Breakfast will be around in about an hour.” She said as she left the room. 

“Good lord but that must hurt!” Jared said grinning.

“What’s that?” Jensen asked.

“Being positive all the time.” Jared said.

“Dork.” Jensen muttered. “I miss my morning run.” He said moodily.

“Don’t worry, let’s see what we can do about getting you clearance to walk the ward, that’d be better than nothing.” Jared told him. Then they stopped their yakking to share a good morning kiss and hug. Jared was sitting on the edge of the bed when breakfast did arrive so he shifted and took his tray looking at it warily. He lifted the lid to find an omelet with a side of pancakes and sausage with orange juice and something that looked suspiciously like coffee to drink. After they’d finished breakfast Jared looked at Jensen loving. 

 

“You know I love you for all the world, but I read where they have a Starbucks located on this floor. Today it is our mission in life to find that kiosk and make off with two coffee blends of our choice.” Jared said comically dramatic.

“You have but to ask to have my participation in that event. Jared gathered their empty trays together and put them outside the door for pickup. The he sighed. “Dr. Branson will want to pick us apart again today especially you.” 

 

“I know, and I’ve got something I really need to talk to her about.” Jensen said plaintively.

“Wait, I’m missing something, what’s up Jens?” Jared asked quickly.

“Since yesterday, well longer than that, when we are apart I felt kind of anxious. Now since yesterday I’m downright scared of being without you around. Jared, I’ve got to find a way out of that trap. I love being around you but if I have a panic attack because I’m in Brokerage and you’re in Music Appreciation, I mean that ain’t cool.” Jensen looked down at his hands. “When I get all panicky feeling I immediately fixate on you just up and leaving me and it makes things worse.”

Jared sighed heavily. “I just don’t know what I can do to make you understand that that is not on the agenda. I have absolutely no plans of abandoning you. EVER!” He said the last forcefully. 

“Okay I hear ya, and really Jay, I believe you with all my heart, but my brain has got that fucking wire crossed and it’s not helping matters.” Jensen said reaching out for Jared and Jared returning the contact.

“That’s an issue we have definitely GOT to address. Jens, I was thinking about something last night and I’d really like to do it but when we get married technically since we’ve been living together for as long as we have a honeymoon is kind of superfluous. I don’t care. I want you and me to go down to one of the B&B’s in the Sonoma Valley and sit back in luxury, go on runs if we want to, swim if we want to, sample all kinds of wines and in generally spoil ourselves rotten.”

 

“I thought we did that on spring break!” Jensen laughed.

“That was a teaser. That was spring break this is our HONEYMOON! Big difference.” Jared said.

“Did I ever tell you that I love you?” Jensen said with a secret smile.

“Every day.” Jared replied with a smile. 

 

The was a tap at the door after a “come in” from Jared, Alan and Sherri stepped into the room. “Looking better this morning.” Alan said stepping up to the bed.

“You’ve got most of your colour back. You were white as a sheet last night.” She leaned forward looking at him closely. “You still look a little peaked (ed. Note, that is pronounced as peak-ked, southern slang for someone who looks a bit off colour) in the eyes.” Sherri bent in and kissed his cheek causing him to blush slightly.

“A good blush always does wonders for the colouring.” Alan noted with a smile.

“I feel better this morning, still a little wobbly but I’m doing better. “ Jensen said with a smile. 

“Excuse me a couple guys I want to go down and get the local newspapers.” Jared said and he looked significantly at Alan. “Y’all keep a close eye on him while I’m gone, he likes to think he’s Peter Pan.” 

Sherri snorted, “He’s always thought that.” She said with a smile. “Go on get your paper.”

Jared left the room bent on exposing Alan and Sherri with exactly what they were dealing with. As soon as Jared was out of sight, Jensen’s demeanour changed to one of anxiety. 

 

“Mom, Dad, he is coming back isn’t he?” Jensen asked tensing up.

“What, Oh Jared, yeah son he’ll be back in a few minutes. He probably wants to stretch his legs as well. You do too probably. Being cooped up in here gotta make you a little stir crazy. “

Jensen laughed nervously at that. That was when Sherri noticed Jensen trembling slightly. “Baby, it’s okay. Shh, calm down.” She said taking his hands. 

Within ten minutes Jensen was in full panic mode to the point where Alan had to ring for the nurse. They came in and pushed an injection into his IV line, he gradually calmed and his breathing eased the door opened a few minutes later and Jared came in with two newspapers, a novel, and a large back of peanut M&M’s, Jensen’s favourite. Jensen in the meantime was starting to relax more physically even if he were still mentally stirred up. Jared put his load down and bent down until he was directly in Jensen’s line of sight. 

“I’m back Jens, I even brought you your favourite, peanut M&M’s and the Robert Jordan book you’ve been debating over getting. “

“You’re here…you’re back…good.” He said as he closed his eyes for several moments. When he opened them tears wear tracking his cheeks as he looked at his parents.

Jared looked at them carefully. “You see what we’re up against now.” 

Sherri sat back stunned at the quick change in Jensen’s mood when Jared appeared. 

“I’m fixated on Jared for some reason with some major security issues to put it in layman’s terms.” Jensen said miserably. 

“That was only about 15 minutes. I’m hoping that starting today we can get some of these issues addressed.” Jared said.

“He was hyperventilating.” Sherri said.

“Yeah mom, I was and I don’t know why!” He said desperately. 

 

They continued their visit that morning talking over some of the antics that they’d gotten into together over the past two years and mostly the fun they’d had. It was just after lunch when Alan and Sherri stepped out for a bite that Jared looked at Jensen. 

“Babe, you realize that Dr. Branson may want to talk to you alone.” Jared mentioned.

Jensen nodded, “I can handle it, well I can’t ‘handle’ it but I’ll do my best to deal with it.” Jensen said sadly.

“I know you will, you’re stubborn that way, but at the same time you need to let her see what we are up against. There may be I don’t know some kind of post-hypnotic suggestion she can implant or something.” Jared told him.

“As long as it doesn’t involved more drugs. I think then I can deal with it. We can deal with it.” He said looking at Jared. They took hands and Jared just sat on the side of the bed with him. “When she does come around please don’t leave me. Please!” Jensen begged. 

“I’ll have to do what she says, but I promise I won’t leave the hospital, I swear to you. You want a vow, you got it before God, I will not leave you.” He bent in and stole a kiss as Alan and Sherri came back in the room. 

 

“Oops, private moment, sorry.” Sherri said turning.

“No it’s alright folks, we were just preparing for when his therapist comes around today.” Jared said smiling.

“It’s okay mom, dad, you may as well get used to us kissing. I promise that’s the most provocative bit of PDA you’ll have to deal with.” Jensen said with a grin. 

Alan chuckled, “As long as you’re kissing I know things are all right.” 

“More than all right dad, we’re going to make this work.” Jensen said urgently.

Alan stepped up to the side of the bed. “Son, don’t try so hard that that becomes your sole focus in the relationship. Leave room for you two to grow together.”

“Good advice, listen to it.” Sherri commented. Just then there was a tap at the door and Dr. Branson entered. Jared introduced her to Jensen’s parents and they had a brief talk.

 

“I don’t want to seem pushing but we are on a time schedule here. So Mr. and Mrs. Ackles, if you would excuse us a moment. Jared, you too, take a walk.” 

 

As soon as they were gone Dr. Branson took the bedside seat. “How are you feeling?” 

“Fine.” Jensen answered automatically.

“No Jensen, take a deep breath and calm down for a moment and then let’s try it again.” She paused “How are you feeling?” 

“Scared…” He answered

“Ah now there is the truth. What is scaring you Jensen?” She asked.

“Jared’s gone, and I can’t get over the feeling he’s going to leave me for good. After all I’m damaged goods.” 

“What did I say about feelings like that?” She asked him.

“Use the NO exercise.” Jensen asked. 

“I can’t make you do it you’ve got to do it on your own. But go ahead and tell me, why do you feel like your damaged goods?”

They began talking deeper now and all the while the anxiety level in Jensen was building. Until at last Dr. Branson nodded.

 

“I think that it’s safe to say that you’ve nothing to fear with him leaving you, we can deal with that later, what I want to deal with are the mental/physical side effects of this trauma. So I’m going to up your Zoloft from 50 to 100mg daily. You can split them so it’s not so much in your system at one whack. But I want to try you on that and see how you do. Now as to the issues with you and Jared, we’re going to be dealing or start dealing with them tomorrow. How many classes do you two have?” She asked.

“I’m on a full load this semester, four classes plus a concentration in the Pre-Law sector. Jared’s on a full load s well of four classes as well with a concentration in Music.” Jensen asked.

“How many of those classes do you have together?” She asked.

“Two, Music Appreciation and Humanities.” He said.

“I take it that your teachers have a problem with cell phones in class?” 

“Most don’t like them.” Jensen addressed.

“We’re going to address that with them. First the classes you and he have that are not in tandem, I need the names of the instructors and their phone numbers if you have them. If not I can find out.” She fixed her jaw slightly. “I’m going to see if we can’t get a medical pass for you with regards to this so that you’ll have a texting point between each other. I think that if we can do this we eliminate some of the tension you’re under.” 

 

By now Jensen was trembling and breathing fast as well as sweating profusely. Dr. Branson reached into her capacious bag and pulled out a nasal cannula that was still sealed in its sterile packing. She hooked it to the overhead Oxygen outlet over the head of the bed. She dialed it on and set the rate then slipped it on Jensen. 

 

“Breath slow and deep Jensen, calm down and just deep inhalations.” She ordered and Jensen fought to obey. It took some time but he did calm down slightly and wasn’t breathing quite as fast. “It’s important that you remember to do this. You are in a precarious position. You are creating this situation that’s making you miserable. This is a situation your subconscious is creating, we have got to deal with that. So let’s get started.” 

 

Now she delved into the issues now, the only interruption was when a nurse came in at one point with a loaded syringe. 

 

“Jensen this is Zoloft suspension, we’re going to try you on this to start, you’ll start with the oral dose tomorrow. I’m going to want to hold you over until at least Monday, you might get released sooner depending on what we discover with your additional dosage of Zoloft. How are you feeling now?” 

 

“I REALLY NEED TO SEE JARED!” He said desperately. She injected the dosage into his IV line. 

“This will take about ten minutes to really hit your system so why not let’s take a break from the basic line of questioning and talk about the wedding. How’s that coming?” She asked.

 

Jensen was still hyperactive for the time being but he was able to slowly focus on the wedding and was able to discuss some of the details including the cake their parents said that they’d already contracted with a local bakery to take care of for them with extensive instructions on the design. 

 

“I like the idea of a small model cello and guitar to crown the cake, which seems very appropriate for you.” Dr. Branson said with a grin. 

 

“Thanks, we like to think of it that way.” Jensen said with a slight smile. His trembling was lessening. 

“Okay, it seems that the extra Zoloft is taking care of your physical side effects, now we gotta work on the mental situations. You were convinced that you are damaged goods, take a careful look at your physical self, is that damaged?”

 

“Scratch and dent.” Jensen said jokingly.

 

“Only because you scratched and dented it. You can correct the scratches and dent’s if you want to.”

“How do I start?” He asked nervously.

“Loosen the ropes you’ve tied around Jared. You have created a Gordian knot around him. Cut him some slack. Relax the grip.” Dr. Branson counseled.

“I can try, it hurts though.” 

Dr. Branson relaxed some. “It’s going to hurt, let’s talk through that.” Dr. Branson thought for a moment and then went to the door. Stepped outside just a moment and in the next Jared was in the doorframe. Dr. Branson couldn’t miss the flush to Jensen’s cheeks or the stabilization in his breathing. “We’re going to start working on the co-dependency issues as well.” She said with a smile as she left them.

 

In the waiting area Alan and Sherri were sitting around extremely anxious while the session was going on. An hour passed and finally the door to the room opened and Dr. Branson came out. She walked up to them. “We’re through for today, he’s resting, it was eventful and promising. I think that we have a definitely moved a step forward. I’ve upped his Zoloft to 100mg a day, the side effects from that are going to be some sleepiness, but he can combat this that’s not a problem. Caffeine is a fixative towards this. I normally don’t recommend it but we’ll try. 

 

In the room, Jared walked over and sat on the edge of the bed taking Jensen’s hand. He couldn’t fail to note the near desperation in the grip that Jensen gave his hand. Jared looked down at his hand a moment then he looked Jensen in the eyes.

 

“We’ve got to work on this Jens. There are just going to naturally be times when I’ll have to be away from you for one reason or another.” Jared said stating the obvious.

“I know, I want to work on it as well, because this is driving me up a freaking wall. I love you, I really do, but this phobia or whatever it is of not having you in viewing distance is driving me through not up the freaking wall.” Jensen said.

“Can you think of anything that might have triggered it off?” Jared asked as Alan and Sherri joined them back in the room. 

 

“By the way Jared, we did go ahead and call Jerry and Donna; we let them know of the situation. Jerry had something going on in court that he had to be there for, but they said they’d be in touch as soon as pos…” Sherri was cut off by Jared’s cell phone. He looked at the caller id and grinned. 

 

“Talk about good timing.” He answered the call. “Hi Mom.”

 

“Jared, how are y’all doing, hon?”

“We’re hanging in there, Alan and Sherri are out here already, and we are looking to be going home in a few days.” Jared told her.

“What happened? From what Sherri told me it sounds like a nervous breakdown.” She asked.

“It was,” Jared sighed, “We’ve both been under a lot of pressure lately with classes and stuff and it’s just been a real hectic time.”

“But sweetie there had to be a trigger for this.” Donna said.

“That’s what we’re investigating now. Just what exactly was the trigger that set this off?” Jared told her.

Donna sounded a bit put out with her next statement, “Your father had to be in court to testify against this Sach’s situation here in town or we’d already be out there.”

“Mom, we should be going home in a few days, just thought you ought to know.” He proceeded to give her the address. There’s a parking deck across the street at the AIG Building. They are free parking for folks. “

“Jay, it’s more likely that we’ll get a cab just to be on the safe side.” She said.

“Okay mom, see you in a couple of days then? Oh Alan and Sherri are staying in the Marriott that’s next door to the hospital.”

“Oh okay, we’ll try to book a room there as well, that way we can all be together.”

“Good idea, see you soon?” Jared asked.

“Testimony should wrap up today and we’ll catch a flight out tonight. We’ll be late getting in so it’ll probably be tomorrow before you see us.”

“Okay, love ya mom.”

“You too sweetie, give Jensen a hug and kiss for us.” She said with a smile in her voice.

“I will. See ya.”

 

Jared pocketed the phone and looked at the others. “Seems like dad’s gotta testify is some SEC trial so he’ll be all day with that and then they’ll take a late flight out. Looks like they’ll probably book into the same motel as y’all.” He said indicating Alan and Sherri.

 

“That’ll work fin…” Alan said then looked at Jensen who looked suddenly pale as milk, he’d broke out in a sweat and was breathing rapidly.

 

“Jens!” Jared said reaching for him. 

“Jay, I think I may know what set this off.” Jensen muttered.

“Well, for crying out loud, don’t keep it to yourself!” Jared said his brow furrowed slightly.

“Remember about three weeks ago we were going to cross the street to do our usual jog at the AIG building?”

“Yeah.” Jared answered.

“You got clipped by the fender of that taxi, nothing bad.” He said assuring his folks. But enough to put the wind up both of us.” Jensen said with desperation as anxiety was prompting memory recall. “I’ve been locked on that! Because a step closer and it could’ve really been bad.” Jensen said exhausted. 

Jared pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number.

 

“Dr. Branson’s office.” The receptionist said.

“Jared Padelecki, tell Dr. Branson that her patient Jensen Ackles just had memory recall of an event which may have tripped this episode off.”

“Calling her now.” The nurse said. “Please hang on.”

The line went dead for a space of moments then the receptionist came back on the line. “She is still at Cedar’s and will drop by on her way down.”

“Thank you.” Jared said relieved.

 

“Caught her just in time, the doc is still in the building.” Jared said.

“You think this might be significant enough to bother her with?” Jensen asked.

“Boy, anything, I mean ANYTHING, you can recall right now is significant.” Alan said firmly.

 

A half hour later Dr. Branson was back in the room listening to Jensen’s recollection of events and the subsequent mental fallout of sleepless nights, nightmares, etcetera.

 

“I think we have found a very significant event. This is something we’ll start working with tomorrow, I can promise you that.” She said making a note on her iPad. “This may take the work of an associate of mine, Dr. Peter Simms. He’s a specialist in hypnotic recall and implantation of post hypnotic suggestion.” 

 

“Whatever it takes doc.” Jared told her. Then she tapped her stylus momentarily against her chin in a thoughtful manner. 

“Tomorrow then.” She said turning and leaving.

“She’s a strange bird.” Sherri muttered.

“She’s a highly recommended strange bird.” Jared said with a grin.

“Oh God, Jared now that I remembered that the dreams will start again.” He said fearfully.

“And I’ll be right here with you to ride them out.” Jared told him quickly and firmly.

 

“I’m glad you two found each other.” Alan said with a smile.

“I’m tickled pink!” Sherri said grinning. The nurse came in then with a set of scrubs and two towels. 

“We’re going to go down and grab a bite in the cafeteria while you get a shower. You’ll be alright?” Sherri asked. 

“I’ll have Jared hold me up.” He said with a wicked grin.

“Too much information son.” Alan said as they left. The nurse disconnected the IV from him. 

“You’re going on oral doses now; I don’t think we need this anymore.” She said with a smile. “There’s a pull cord in the shower and the bathroom, if you need help just give a yank.” She said, and then she left and came back in with a couple of more towels. “I’ll put a Do not Disturb sign on the door.” She said with a grin and a wink and left.

 

Jensen and Jared both were blushing and laughed at each other for the nervousness they were feeling. They quickly undressed and climbing in the shower stall made to accommodate a wheelchair so it was substantially sized. They proceeded to wash each other, and then stopped long enough to kiss long and deep under the spray. 

 

“You’re gonna start something you can’t finish.” Jensen said with a grin. Jared went down to his knees and showed Jensen just how starting something he could be. Jensen couldn’t hold long being in strange surroundings always keyed him up a notch. Jared made love with his mouth that he so loved to do to Jensen. In the meantime, Jensen lapped up the attention and the feelings. He felt the orgasm building and rushing forward like a freight train at full throttle. He shoved his fist in his mouth to stifle the scream of pleasure as he came…in volume. Even though a little leaked from Jared’s mouth he managed to swallow nearly the whole load. He stood up kissing Jensen then letting him taste himself. 

 

Jensen reached down and squeezed Jared’s cock, cupping and massaging his balls with his other hand. Then he knelt and took Jared’s hardness in his mouth quickly. And with long practice managed to swallow six of the ten inches then he started humming. Jared moaned deeply and groaned as well as he felt his orgasm building as well. He had done without for 24 hours and for them that seemed like a lifetime. He had to use his fist to stifle the loud groan which would’ve erupted as he came. After riding him through the aftershocks, Jensen stood and they kissed some more and finally got out, drying off carefully. Stepping into the room with towels wrapped around their waist they surprised Christian who was waiting on them.

 

“You forget how to read?” Jared said grumpily.

“Nah, figured that meant anyone else but me.” He said with a puckish grin. Jensen and Jared shrugged and yanked the towels off their waists and finishing the drying process. “My eyes!!!” Christian said dramatically.

“Hey always knew you were a peeper.” Jared said pulling on some clean boxers and slacks. “So, what’s up? I figure there’s a reason you busting in like this.”

“Checking in to see how close to checking out you are.” He said grinning a little as Jensen pulled this scrub shirt over his head. 

 

Jared stepped to the door and removed the Do Not Disturb sign. While Jensen took the recliner. Jared sat on the bed. He was about to speak when the door opened and an orderly came in with a clean change of bed linens. Jared hopped up and they made room for her to work. 

 

“The way it looks right now, Monday at the latest.” Jared told him.

“Ouch, okay, I talked with your group last night, they’re willing to go on if one of you can be there.” Christian told him.

“Jay…”

“Jen no.” He said adamantly.

“This is for a good cause Jay, if I can’t be there then you should go.” Jensen insisted.

“You know what will happen!” Jared said.

“I’ll manage, I promise you but please go.” Jensen persisted now.

“Go where?” Sherri said entering the room. Christian leapt to his feet to give his seat to her. 

“Well, he can be a gentleman sometimes. Mom, Dad, this is Christian Kane, he’s the house leader for the fraternity I’m in.” There was a smile and exchange of handshakes. 

“There’s a concert this weekend to benefit the AIDS Foundation, it’s a semi-formal event from what I understand. We were slated to appear with the orchestra and play.” Jared told them.

 

“And I still say that Jared ought to be there if I can’t.” 

“You’re making this more difficult than it needs to be.” Alan started, “Ask Dr. Branson tomorrow for a leave for Saturday, that would give you time to rehearse, and prepare and play, then come back here. It’s simple really.” 

“I’ll ask.” Jensen said not hopeful, “But if I can’t you’re going on Jay, you know the piece we were working on down pat. The orchestra can take the parts I would have been playing.”

Jared seemed more adamant about it and stood his ground. “Jensen, I can’t play that without you there. That song and when we play it together it’s like our piece of music.”

 

“It’s something that gives you an intimate moment together?” Alan asked. Jared blushed slightly as did Jensen. “Then you both should be there to play.” Alan confirmed, “Which you probably can be if you just ask your doctor.”

Jensen threw up his hands in dismay, “Ok, I’ll ask.” 

 

Christian grinned, “Knew I get my way somehow.” 

“You’re sure of yourself.” Alan noted with a smug grin.

“Sir, that’s the only way to survive in this day of business.”

“What’s your major?” Alan asked.

“Business Management with a minor in Stock Brokerage.” Christian answered.

“Sign up with a brokerage firm as an intern. Intern for a year and if you prove yourself most places will want to keep you. But ethics, always remember ethics in your deals.” Alan said.

“Sounds like you’re a professor yourself?” Christian observed.

“No, I just play the market a lot and have a good broker.” Alan told him.

“So there you go Christian! What we been telling you to do but you don’t listen.” Jensen said.

“Buzz off Jenny.” Christian said with a smirk.

Jensen show Christian a scowl of contempt which earned him a bit of reproof from his mom.

 

There was another tap at the door and Fr. Jim entered. “Oh my seems like I’ve come at a bad time.”

“No such thing as a bad time Father. Come on in.” Alan said. Fr. Jim walked over to the bed and took a good look at the patient. 

“Good, you don’t look so bad. You’re out of here soon?” He asked.

“Monday, if I’m a good boy.” Jensen joked. Then, “Dad, mom, this is our priest Father Jim Beaver, Father, Alan and Sherri Ackles.” They shook hands cordially. 

“SO this is the priest we’ve heard so much about through your emails. It’s good to put a face to a name.” Sherri said delighted.

“Same at this end. Look, Jensen, Jared, I’ll leave you in the care of your folks and try to drop by later. Can I pray with you?” He asked.

“Please!” Jensen replied.

“Let us pray.” Fr. Jim stepped forward and took Jensen’s hand. “Almighty and everliving God, you who sees the sparrow when it falls, life up your hand of healing on this one of your children that his time of recuperation be swift. For this and all your other many bounteous blessings the we thank you, creator, Father, and judge. Amen.”

“Amen” was heard around the room then as Father Jim turned he saw Christian trying to sneak into a corner. 

“No use hiding Chris, I expect to see you coming back soon.”

“Yes Father.” Christian said as Fr. Jim stepped out of the room. 

 

Time was such a malleable concept in their view, the evening passed quickly, too quickly to suit Jensen as he liked having his parents around, they actually clicked on more than a surface level. Visiting hours closed and while Christian and the gang had got their time in with him, he missed the comradery they had on the frat level, something his folks would’ve probably understood but he toned down and was thankful they’d toned down as well. His parents stayed about an hour after visiting hours were officially over, giving them another chance to talk about the wedding, and plans, the honeymoon, and plans, the new ideas they had for the apartment, and plans. Jared of course stayed the night with him. Jared pulled the recliner close to the bed and lowered the bed to his level giving Jensen a little extra security for the evening. 

 

That next morning they woke at their usual time, cleaned up and brushed teeth, shared a healthy good morning kiss before having their breakfast. They were just settling back checking newpapers that Jared had bought the previous day when there was a tap then the door opening to admit Donna and Jerry. They jumped at the chance to be with their son but paid plenty of attention to Jensen.

 

“Hon what is going on?” Donna asked.

“We caught a little bit of it yesterday on the phone.” Jerry started.

“Bottom line is I had a nervous breakdown, yesterday and the day prior were the really bad days. But we are suspecting the breakdown stems from a near-death accident your son just managed to avoid.” Jensen said pointedly.

“Hey it’s not like I asked that cab to come out of nowhere.” Jared griped. “Okay, so every morning we have a habit, there’s Stockbroker square across from the building where our apartment is. It’s about two miles around the square and we usually run that then the square around our side of the street. I was first out the door and looked back to wave to Jensen who was dragging his feet.”

“Was not.” Jensen said mildly pouting which Jared found adorable. He smiled and continued the story. 

“Anyway all I remember next is tires squealing, a horn honking, and Jensen screaming at me. It wasn’t until we actually started the run that I realized that that cab that came out of nowhere clipped me on the hip. Not hard enough to do any major damage and it looked worse than it was. But Jensen’s point of view, he tells me that it looked like the car ploughed into me. The cabbie stopped and came around to check on me. I was fine just a bit winded was all. I got his insurance information and he left. I did come into Cedars for an x-ray and there was nothing remotely wrong. All I got out of the deal was a bruise that ran from just above my hip down to my knee.” Jared paused a moment to let all that sink in. “Now we come to the hard part, Jensen was certain that I was done for, he was all over me when he found out I was okay, all over me, bitching me out for not watching what I was doing. Anyhow, turns out we go ahead on the run, but the vision of that on top of all the planning, and everything we got going on at school was piled onto him. He was convinced for a microsecond that he lost me.”

 

“And frankly that scared the shit out of me.” Jensen said moderating his language out of respect for the folks.

“It’s okay to say fuck, because that’s what it would have scared out of me for the moment.” Donna said baldly. 

Jared blushed a little and continued. “Then the dreams started, and nightmares. He kept seeing me getting ploughed over, and the dreams according to him got pretty graphic.”

 

“Blood and guts everywhere.” Jensen said shivering.

“Don’t think about it right now sweetie, just try to forget it.” Donna said.

“That’s just it, I can’t forget it like that. It just won’t happen for me. It’s way too in my face. Needless to say,” Jensen took up the tale. “My mind magnified the incident, and that’s what’s playing hell with me now. I was put on Prozac for anxiety which helped, then the near accident-accident and everything else. It piled up and caused me to freak out. I lost consciousness for a while, was medically sedated for a little longer while they worked out some of the snags and tangles in my brain. Then prescribed a stronger dosage of Zoloft, yeah I’m on that too. And basically, I freak with Jared’s not around, I panic, and I also…” He paused realizing this was the first time he admitted to this to anyone other than his doctor and his folks, “don’t want him to get damaged goods.” He said his voice breaking up as he said it.

 

“Jensen Ross Ackles, don’t ever let me catch you calling yourself damaged goods again!” Donna said. “You are a fine young man, talented, good looking, and you scored a good catch with Jared. And Jared you damn well be feeling the same.”

 

“Mom, I’ve tried to tell him that as far as goods were concerned that he was first rate, top of the shelf, high quality stuff, he won’t listen to me.” Jared said exhaustedly. 

 

“I never thought of you less.” Donna said and Jerry nodded firmly.

“Neither have I,” Jerry said firmly. “You’re worrying yourself crazier that a frat brat and you need to stop it.”

Jensen was blushing furiously at the praise when he heard a familiar voice from the door.

“We’ve been telling him that for years and he somehow manages to find a nit and pick it to death.” Sherri said coming into the room. Sherri and Donna grabbed each other in a warm hug while Alan and Jerry shook hands gladly.

 

Then a third voice was added to the fray. “Excuse me ladies and gentlemen but this is entirely too many people I want in here at one time.” Dr. Branson managed to say from the doorway. If I could have a few minutes with my patient. I’m Dr. Sara Branson, I will be glad to talk to all of you momentarily, but please could I have a few minutes with Jensen. Jared you stay. The family laughed and wandered out into the breezeway where they carried on their reunion. Dr. Branson sighed heavily and looked daggers at both the boys. “What’d I tell you about that?” She said then shrugging it off she walked over to the bedside and sat down in the adjacent chair. “Jensen you don’t realize it, frankly I wouldn’t be surprised if you were suppressing it, but you are in a fragile state right now. Stress such as a major crowded room would be sufficient to send you over the edge again.”

“Sorry doc, it just happened.” Jensen said sheepishly.


	9. Chapter 9

  
Author's notes: Getting him out of hospital as quick as I can!! Bear with me folks!

* * *

“Now yesterday you were telling me about the accident and how it affected you with nightmares and nervous flashes or seizures that you didn’t know at the time were seizures. So let’s continue that line of thought for a few minutes. Tell me about the dreams and what is it about them that frightens you the most.” She said.

 

Jensen went into a detailed recounting of one recurring dream he’d been having. He explained and highlighted in excruciating detail the scenes that played out in the gory recollection. He was glad that she’d allowed Jared to remain with him because he didn’t know if he could have done it without his support. 

 

“So now you basically feel you need to be attached to him at the hip?” She said.

“I guess that would be a fair assessment.” Jensen said nodding.

“Okay first of all I’m going to quieten some fears of yours up front. Jared is here, he is very much alive and vital, quit trying to see him dead, when those thoughts come up in your mind have a fallback scenario you can immediately push to and get away from that thought pattern. Have you had dreams like this recently?”

 

“The night before last.” Jensen answered truthfully. “Last night I was so afraid to sleep that I don’t feel like I really fell asleep. More like dozing.” He said.

 

She nodded pursing her lips thoughtfully. “Here’s what you are going to do, you’re not going to try and do it, but you will do it. You will first, be diligent with taking your medications, second, you are going to sleep, there’s nothing I can really prescribe you that won’t debilitate your quality of life and I’m not going to do that, so you sleep. If you have nightmares then you aren’t deep enough asleep, what you will do is avoid caffeine and alcohol before bedtime. Take a warm shower if needed, anything to relax you completely. Make love, I mean that’s what sex was created for aside from reproduction, was for pleasure and relaxation. I am going to give you a prescription for Viagra. I’m not saying you need it…”

 

“Oh trust me doc he don’t!” Jared said earning a punch in the ribs from a violently blushing Jensen.

 

Dr. Branson grinned and continued. “Some patients on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications can develop the limp dick syndrome. It’s just backup for when your equipment don’t want to operate like you want it to. Finally don’t dwell on the negative issues that you are thinking surround you right now. Pull in and think on the positive issues and dwell on them, they are much healthier. There’s no magic pill I can give you to make the negative stuff go away that’s what therapy with me is what this is all about. So let’s start with that.” She said segueing into therapy. She looked at Jared. “Could you give us a few private moments please?” She asked.

 

“Sure, if you need me give me a holler.” Jared said getting up he leaned over and gave Jensen a kiss before leaving. 

 

In the breezeway Jared joined their families. There was questioning looks all around so Jared search out a nurse and she directed them to an empty room they could use. So he related pretty much what was said with the exception of the Viagra prescription. Jerry looked at Jared, “Son, shouldn’t you be in there with him.”

 

“She basically trying to wean him down to a normal dependency, right now he is serious dependent on me.” Jared told them.

“Are you encouraging this dependency?” Alan asked frankly.

“No!” Jared exclaimed.

“What are you accusing Jared of?” Donna said levelly.

“Donna…” Jerry said levelly himself.

Sherri looked at her husband like he’d grown an extra head.

“It would make for a cozy relationship, having your mate entirely dependent on you.” Alan said evenly. “Seriously though, I know Jared would never do anything like that. But it had to be said.”

Jerry thought for a long moment as did Sherri and Donna. They all soon agreed that they would have addressed the same point. Jared sat to the side becoming more incensed at the conversation dragged on finally he stood angrily and made for the door.

“Son, what, where’re you going?” Donna asked.

“Obviously, I’m that dangerous anomaly in our relationship. I’m going to grab a cup of coffee.” Sherri reached him first and grabbed him by the shoulder. Then hugged him tightly. 

“I’m sorry sweetie; I never meant to judge you like that.” She said her eyes worried. Alan, Jerry and Donna descended on him and reassured him. 

“We are strung too tightly about this.” Alan said. Jerry had to agree with him on that. There was a knock on the door. Donna was closest and opened it to admit Dr. Branson.

“Nurses told me you were sequestered in here.” She looked at Jared and saw his miserable expression. “Wait a minute, uh what’s going on here?” She asked.

 

They gave her a brief wrap of what was said and what went down. She became livid almost immediately. 

“Right now, this young man is a strong linch pin in Jensen’s path of sanity. Don’t you dare sabotage the link I have right now.”

“Jared!” There was a sound from the hallway Jared stared daggers for a moment at Alan and then opened the door. Jensen was just now wandering the hall just away from his room. Nurses were moving slowly and peacefully to intercept him.

“Jen?” Jared called to him.

“JARED!” He yelped and fled to his embrace. He carefully walked him back to his room and got him to lie down again. Jensen was all right for a minute then tears started falling as his walls eroded a bit more. Jared embraced him closely. Alan entered the room. 

He walked over to Jared. “I’m so sorry son.” He said walking around the bed and sat down behind Jensen and started rubbing large circles on his back. “I’m so sorry.”

“Forget it.” Jared said sinking in and trying to calm Jensen down.

“What can we do?” Alan asked.

“Not much right now, we just gotta let him ride this out.” 

“I’m sorry Jared,” Dr. Branson said coming into the room. “When I left him he was seemingly under control. Alright we managed about an hour with him relatively calm. I want to try this again tomorrow.”

 

“Doctor, we had an event we were supposed to play at this weekend, is that feasible in any manner?” Jared asked.

Dr. Branson considered this carefully. “Will you two be in contact the whole time?” 

“Yes ma’am.” Jared said specifically. 

“Is there any way you can arrange to avoid actual crowds?” She asked.

“I think so, yes, I can get Christian and Chad to escort us in and out. We won’t stay for the reception.”

“it goes against what I would prefer, however, if you can guarantee his safety I’ll permit it. Jared understand Jensen managed an hour out of your company today, we’re going to exercise this over the next several weeks, no you won’t be hospitalized. I’ll be treating on an out-patient basis. I want you to limit contact with crowded situations.” 

“We can do this.” Jensen confirmed happily. 

“The with reservations you can do the engagement. But I want you back here as soon as the performance is over. And for what it is worth, I’ve arranged with your professors to permit that you can text each other within reason or you can set up a video link between phones, unless you have iPad’s since that has a forward facing camera.”

“That’s definitely a consideration, I’ve an iPad but Jared doesn’t.” Jensen said.

“I will have by the end of the day.” Jared said defiantly. “Can you spare me for an hour while I run down to the local Verizon store, I think there’s one three blocks over?” He asked Jensen.

His lover looked at him a moment then set his jaw and nodded.

“Okay so that’s covered.” Dr. Branson said. “Remember, you do your number then back here. Got me?”

“Yes ma’am.” Jensen said nodding again.

 

Saturday came and Jensen took his leave a couple of hours early so that he would have time to go by the apartment and dress out nicely. He and Jared had done the smart thing early on and bought black formals. So dressing they kissed and would’ve stopped for more but they’d a practice session they needed to get through so meeting the orchestra at the hall they ran over the number quickly. Satisfied they left their instruments on stage and walked to the wings where Jared embraced a nervous Jensen.

 

“You’re gonna do great, I promise.” Jared told him.

“I hope so.” Jensen said unconvinced.

“Look you were able to hold it together while I went and got your iPad and stopped off and bought me one. A little shakily granted but you held it together. Just keep your eyes on me.” Jared told him.

“Okay. Keep my eyes on you.” He repeated breathlessly. Christian and Chad appeared in the wings and they all exchanged a hug. 

“Here,” Christian said passing Jensen a bottle, “Liquid courage.”

“Thanks but I can’t I don’t know how that stuff will effect me.” Jensen said with a smile.

“It’s an O’Doul’s, no alcohol, but at least you got the taste.” Christian told him abruptly. “Misha’s off stage manning a video camera, this is a performance I want on record. Christian was also dressed out smartly in formals. He checked his watch, five minutes guys. I’m going to go on out and talk up the crowd a little bit.

 

He walked out on stage to a polite smattering of applause. “Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the first Annual Charity Concert benefiting the AIDS Foundation of America. I’d like to take a moment and thank each of you for your generous support of this very important charity. I was given the numbers a few minutes ago and as of 8:00 we have raised $8,500.” To this was greater applause. “During the intermission there will be a chance for you to donate more if you would care to help us in this. Now to introduce our first piece. This is a special event for us as the guitarist, Jensen Ackles…”

“What!” Jensen sputtered backstage

“Just got out of the hospital to make this performance. So please welcome to our stage with the Omega Phi Orchestra, Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki!” The house lights dimmed and the stage lights came up for which both were grateful it turned the audience into a dark blob, however the applause was considerably louder as they walked out Jared clasping Jensen’s hand. They walked to center stage bowed and took their place with their instruments. The director readied and tapped her baton then on the downbeat and they immediately launched into the main title theme from Star Wars. Jensen Jared concentrated on their playing, then there was the bridge of Luke’s theme in the movement of the opening in which Jared and Jensen played solo, Jared looked up at one point and caught Jensen’s eyes and smiled warmly. Jensen took a deep breath and continued playing through the bridge. He even shivered slightly as their playing felt like they were making love. The audience had to be able to see the looks they passed each other as they played. They had two more solos in the piece each one gaining in the applause until at last they came to the ending with Jared, Jensen and the whole orchestra throwing their all into the performance. Then the last note and a moment of silence followed by thunderous applause. 

 

Jared and Jensen stood holding their instruments carefully and bowed to the audience for even louder applause finally they turned to each other and in an unplanned move bent in and kissed. The applause was sprinkled with laughter and people rising from their seats. With several shouts of “encore.” So they sat back down in their place and readied for the next number which was a surprise to the audience. It was a complex piece of Chopin, accompanied by harp and violins. More of a chamber piece but one which showcased the orchestra’s best. They played through to dead silence and then reaching the end there was a moment of silence and again the applause. They stood bowed to their audience and taking their instruments left the stage to even louder applause. Backstage Christian was near tears, hopping up and down, pumping his fist. He grabbed each of them in a crushing hug.

 

“That was fucking fantastic!! Oh baby, what an opener!!” He gathered himself quickly and stepped out on stage as the crowd died down some. “Please, let us thank once again the team of Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles for those stirring numbers. Jared and Jensen stepped back on stage and bowed deeply. Then quickly dashed backstage where they immediately packed up their instruments and left the hall. Jensen was in a nervous shake all over but it was an excited shaking. He was more than a little happy at being able to perform and the applause made their efforts worth it all. They went back to the apartment and secured their instruments and then over to the hospital where Jensen having changed into street clothes checked back in. He changed into his scrubs and got back in bed still vibrating with joy at having been able to accomplish that feat. The door opened a few minutes later as the room crowded cautious again with family who hugged and kissed them both. 

 

“That was fabulous!” Alan said. “You hit the nail on the head with that performance.” He told them.

“And that kiss was perfectly timed.” Donna said with a grin. There was laughter and more merry making then they were interrupted as a nurse came in and checked over Jensen, nodding she pulled a syringe from her scrub top and popped the safety cap. 

 

“Dr. Branson thought you might need this and I think you do as well. It’s just some Ativan, it’ll help calm you down some.” She said with a smile. Jensen thanked her and gladly took the medication as he shivered a little with the crowd and the closeness, the joy and the gaiety of the night. “We were tuned into the radio station that was broadcasting the performance, you both sounded wonderful.” The nurse said with a smile. Now, if I could have everyone’s attention please.” She said raising her voice some. “I’ll give you ten more minutes as a group then for the sake of our patient I’m going to have to ask you to please thin it out some.” She announced.

 

The family quietened down and continued to congratulate them on the excellent performance and the applause it pulled. They were excited that it was so well covered and they knew that they would have to open with something spectacular to pull people’s attention in and get them focused on the evening. After about fifteen minutes the families dispersed with kisses and hugs so that Jensen could get some rest.

 

After they were gone Jensen lay on the bed laughing with joy. “That was wonderful.” He managed. “And I’m going to admit right now, when you looked up at me during Luke’s theme, I thought I was going to cream my pants.” 

“That was the intent.” Jared said kissing him again firmly. Jensen was still shaking some from nerves but he was also holding it together. They spent the next several minutes kissing and hugging then Jensen had to pause and yawn broadly. 

“Tired?” Jared asked.

“Little, I think it the meds kicking in.” Jensen said grabbing Jared in another hug. 

“That and an adrenaline crash as well.” Jared told him the laying him gently back on the mattress he curled up in the recliner next to the bed.

“We did good didn’t we?” Jensen asked as tears sprung to his eyes.

“We did fantastic. Don’t cry.” Jared said softly.

“Just so happy.” Jensen said fussily. “God, I am so wet these days.”

“It’s okay handsome. We did it we got through that, we can get through anything.” Jared said stroking Jensen’s cheek until he fell asleep.

 

His night was only disturbed once by a nightmare which Jared gentled him down on and calmed him. Then relaxing into the moment he grasped Jared’s hand and fell back asleep.

 

The next morning he woke a bit later than usual, but it didn’t stop them, they shaved and breakfasted, then showered. Once getting dressed for the day Jensen was sitting up in his recliner when Donna and Sherri came in grinning. “The men decided to give us the first chance with you today.” Sherri said hugging them.

“Yeah they’re going to get their time in but they’re giving us first dibs.” Donna said getting her hugs. “So how’d you sleep last night?” She asked.

“Only one nightmare and I think that was because I was so hyped up before the shot, and crashed afterwards.” Jensen admitted.

“How do you feel this morning?” Sherri asked.

“Great! Relaxed, still a bit keyed up but I expected that.” Jensen said moving to the bed so to leave a vacant chair. 

“Thought you might like to see this as well.” Donna said passing the newspaper to Jensen. It was the “LIVING” section. On the cover page was an article about the concert. With the feature photo of Jensen and Jared’s kiss. 

 

Both of them blushed when they saw that and ducked their heads a little bit.

“Don’t be ashamed, I was reading in the article where the total take for the evening was $35,000, evidently several concert goers contributed during the intermission.” Sherri said. “Plus the article made the front page of the section and above the fold. That’s a good thing.”

 

“That’s a very good thing.” Dr. Branson said coming in, “No ladies, I won’t be but a moment, Jensen’s session is not for about an hour yet so I thought I’d stop by here first and congratulate you on a job well done. You were nervous but didn’t let your nerves dominate you.” She smiled. “You both play your instruments very well, a lot of body English went into that performance. We’ll speak more on that in your session, but yes, congratulations on an excellent performance.” She said exiting.

 

“Does she always just pop in like that?” Sherri asked as the door closed.

“No usually she’s a little more predictable.” Jared said.

“Well, we better let the men in before they come barging in.” Donna said getting up from her seat. “We’ll be around today, probably around the motel, just give us a call if you need anything otherwise we’ll see you this evening.” She said giving the boys kisses and hugs, Sherri was right behind her. 

 

In a few moments the fathers came in each carrying two Starbucks cups. Jerry passed one to Jared and Alan one to Jensen. They took an experimental sip and grinned. “You remembered!” Jensen said with a glowing smile.

 

“Hard to forget an order like yours. Double Mocha chip with an expresso shot.” Alan said laughing. “You boys don’t look the worse for wear.”

“After them making out on the stage last night I’m not surprised.” Jerry noted.

“We were not making out on stage.” Jensen protested.

“Son you were practically having sex with that guitar and Jared you were doing things to that cello that’d make a porn star blush.” Alan said still laughing, even more at the blushes that flushed them.

“You two, so predictable yet still able to pull a fast one. Really though, you sounded great last night. You made me proud.” Jerry said.

“Yep that they did to me to.” Alan said.

“Thanks dad.” Jensen and Jared said pretty much in unison. 

“So what’s the game plan?” Alan asked.

“That’s what we’re waiting to find out. Dr. Branson will be around in about a half hour for Jensen’s session and we’ll find out then just what we’re looking at.”

“How are you feeling on that extra dose of medicine.” Alan asked Jensen.

“A little dizzy headed, but nothing more than I would feel on a few beers.” Jensen said to them.

“This is a good thing. As long as you can feel that good she ought to let you out soon.” Alan said.

“We’re hoping Monday maybe. We’ve got our iPad’s set up so that we can turn the facing camera on and video cam each other during classes we don’t have together. Dr. Prater caught up with us last night before we left the hall and basically gave Jensen a “Get out of Jail Free” card by telling him to start sitting by the door and if he felt the need to get up and leave, he wouldn’t be offended.” Jared told them.

“Excellent, these little toys do come in handy.” Alan said with a grin.

“I know you don’t partake, but this is for you when you get out of here, not until.” Jerry said passing them a cigar case. Jared opened the top to find four fine hand rolled cigars nested inside.

“Oh sweet! Thanks dad! And yes contrary to opinion with a glass of wine or a whiskey we do partake of a good cigar.”

 

They talked for a while longer until the door opened and Dr. Branson came in and gave the fathers a polite greeting. The dad’s taking their cue left the room for them.

 

“You want me gone as well?” Jared asked.

“Go stretch your legs, give us about an hour together.” Dr. Branson said.

Jared left as Dr. Branson pulled a chair next to the bed. “Really you and Jared performed extraordinarily last night. I hope someone made a video of that because I’d love to have a copy of the performance for my lab files.”

“Uh, one of my classmates, Misha Collins was filming it, I’ll get a copy from him for you.” Jensen told her blushing a little.

“That will be part of your therapy.” She said smiling.

“Beg pardon?” Jensen asked.

“You’re going to be performing more, even if it’s to just your frat buddies. I want you playing more. It opens you up and frees your spirit. I’m telling you from a professional standpoint, you looked totally absorbed, lost, and enwrapped by the music last night. So by all means play more. Now let’s get some of the administrative stuff out of the way first.” She said lightly. “You will be checking out Monday, I will continue to see you on an out-patient basis. You will continue on the dosages of medication I have you on now. Any drastic changes you will report to me immediately. Okay?”

 

“Sure, that’s better than I had hoped.” Jensen said with a grin.

“Now do you have questions for me?” She asked.

“Yeah, alcohol and the meds?” He asked.

“You will take both the Prozac and Zoloft in the morning, so if you wait until say the afternoon to do any drinking you shouldn’t feel any side effects. So drinking moderately isn’t a problem, the problem is drinking in volume. No more.” She told him.

“Gotcha. I can deal with that.” He said grinning.

“This is good, we’ve gotten fifteen minutes of conversation and work out of the way and you’re pretty much relaxed. Excellent.”

“I’m working on it.” Jensen answered.

“Okay let’s get into the meat of this session.” She said with an almost predatory grin.

 

Jared was walking the halls when he saw Christian and the gang coming from the opposite direction. He waved them down.

“Jens in with his psych right now.” Jared told them.

“Oh okay that’s cool.” Chad said as they gathered in a waiting area pulling four chairs into a cozy circle.

“I read where we cleared $35 grand last night.” Jared started.

“That was just for starters.” Misha said grinning.

“Starters?” Jared asked both confused and suddenly wary. He leaned forward in his chair a little. “What happened.”

“Well word got out that you and Jen were going to get married.” Christian said with a wide grin.

“Oh shit! Man that would kill donations.” Actually during the second half we announced that in lieu of gifts donations in your honour would be accepted. Hope that was okay.”

“Uh yeah sure, but that’s only done for famous people, Jen and I are hardly famous.” Jared noted.

“You made an impression.” Chad said. “We’re still getting donations in from alumni. So far we’ve met the $35 grand with another $25 grand in honour donations!”

“HOLY SHIT!” Jared said falling back in his chair. 

“I videoed the whole event and we’ll sell copies of the CD for donations.”

“FUCK!” Jared said just catching himself. “Our parents will want copies. This is unfucking real!” 

“Tell me! We weren’t expecting anything like this. The Foundation had a rep there last night filming, they want to use your cut for a possible ad campaign!” Christian said laughing boisterously drawing a look from a passing nurse.

“You guys are going to be stars!” Chad said with a grin.

“We’re nowhere near that good.” Jared said.

“Jay-bird, you two could get places in the Los Angele’s Phil.” Christian noted.

“Now you’re giving me a blow job.” Jared said laughing.

“If that’s what it takes to get you two motivated enough to record at least, hell I’ll get on my knees.” Christian said baldly drawing laughs all around.”

“We have so got to have a party at our place one Jen gets released. Us with Dani and Genevieve maybe even do one over at the Omega’s house.” Jared said grinning.

“You stuffed shirts party?” Misha asked grinning.

“Do fish drink water?” Jared said.

 

So they planned and schemed all the while Jared looking across the hallway to their room and the closed door. He wondered absently how things were proceeding. He looked at his watch and noticed there were ten minutes left in the session. He was surprised that much time had passed but with all the bullshitting he’d been doing with his mates he wasn’t surprised. In the room Jensen was seat comfortably on his bed undergoing stress relaxation exercises.

 

“You feel the glow of the moon flow through you now, every part of you is alive with energy, but you are calm.” Dr. Branson said in an even tone. “Now you are slowly going to come back to the surface, again you feel the energy running through you, there is no tension.” She proceeded to talk him back to full consciousness. When Jensen was awake and aware he was also relaxed. He nearly cried with relief However, his eyes told the real story as he was conscious that his fear was gone. 

 

“The next thing you’re going to do is learn this by memory, we’ll do this every session for about six weeks to get you relaxed enough to work with my guiding you. This isn’t a cure all, but it will help you relieve the worst stress that you encounter if you follow the directions.” She noted.

 

Jensen nodded and smiled. For once he felt in control of the situation instead of the other way around. Then Dr. Branson stood. 

 

“That’s all for today, tomorrow we’ll process you for release. Like I said we’ll continue working on an out-patient basis but I feel confident that you’ll be able to tackle this shortly.” She stood and smiled. “Then unless you have further questions that’ll be all until your first appointment and I’ll have my nurse text you with the day and time on that one.”

 

“No questions, thanks Doc. Many thanks.” Jensen said taking her hand and shaking it. 

“You most welcome Jensen, thank you for being such a good patient to work with in here.” She replied and walked to the door, “Let me see if you other half is out here waiting and you can tell him the news. Ah here he is, with the animal house, I see.” She sighed. “Very well, 15 minutes guys and try to keep it down.” She said as Jared and the rest jumped up and started into the room. Jared took her aside at the door.

“So, what are we looking at?” He asked softly.

“On the outside about eight to twelve weeks of therapy. He’s doing remarkably well, I just want to get him to the point with you and I want you there on his next appointment, you’re going to start being a part of this. But keep drinking to moderation, avoid crowds of unknowns, limit exposure of crowds of knowns. The iPad idea is great and I think will help.” Jared looked befuddled for a moment.

“I never thought it would get this bad.” He admitted.

“His mind magnified the incident now he has to get his self-worth back along with his self-confidence. He’s a good kid, you lucked out.” She admitted with a smile. “BTW He goes home tomorrow and can start classes immediately.” 

“Thanks doc. Thanks so damn much.” Jared said his façade crumbling slightly. His vulnerability was showing now. She smiled and patted his shoulder as she turned to leave them.

 

Jared entered the room pinching the bridge of his nose to stop tears from forming.

“Jared you are in the presence of the high council of the Delts, emotion control is off.” Christian said happily as Jensen shed a few tears of relief himself. Finally when Misha came over and grabbed Jared’s shoulder that was when the taller man turned into a hug with his friend as tears fell. He broke the hug with care and stumbled over to the bed where he and Jensen shared a long embrace and shed more than a few tears of relief from the tension. 

“You go home tomorrow, we get to go home!” Jared said through the tears. Jensen was happy as well but had to ask Jared. 

“Why all the tears then?” Jensen said carding his fingers gently through Jared’s hair.

“Relief, I’ve been so uptight these last few days.” Jared said.

Christian stepped forward and in a rare show of compassion from the man he nodded. “We’ve all been holding our breath. You put the wind up us man.” They were all either breathing deeply, sighing or shedding tears very shortly. Amazingly it was a quiet time for them.

“Okay enough of this.” Jensen said wiping his eyes. “Wednesday night at our place the Delts, Omega, and Theta high councils meet.”

“You’re leaving the Alpha’s out, on purpose?” Chad asked.

“Yeah, they weren’t part of my recovery.” Jensen said decidedly. “They want to pull an all superior mode on us fine. If they want to be part of OUR community then they will come before the other councils and pledge.” Jensen said firmly.

“I hear that and see you Jensen Ackles.” Misha said formally.

“I hear that and see you Jensen Ackles.” Chad said formally as well.

Christian nodded his acceptance. “Very well a delegation from the Delts will approach the Alpha’s with that hearing.” The he shook his head, “Damn but I hate council business like that.” The others laughed at his “misfortune.”

 

They visited with them for another hour then left them in peace and undoubtedly to levy that demand to the Alpha’s, Jensen cringed at the thought but if this was to be a full house oriented gather of the high councils it would, by God, be one on his terms. Jared proceeded to sit on the edge of the bed facing Jensen. Jensen gave a little hip action and turned on his side closer to the opposite edge.

 

“I think we can make this work.” He said smiling.

“We could wait until we get home tomorrow.” Jared said.

“For the sex yeah, for the making out, now.” Jensen said.

Jared smiled warmly and slid sideways on the bed giving them both a little wiggle room. But Jensen wasn’t in the mood to wiggle, as he was to snuggle and kiss and nip, maybe even sneak a hand job into the mix.

“I’ve missed this, just lying in bed with you, all snuggled up and cozy, sneaking kisses and maybe more.” Jensen said with a lopsided grin.

“I’ve missed you too, that recliner gets damn lonely when the one you want to hold is in a bed barely able to accommodate a moose and his mate.” Jared said grinning as well.

“You know we got about an hour before the dinner wagon comes around.” Jensen purred.

“I can’t do everything I want to do in an hour, but I can do this.” He said reached down and grabbing Jensen’s length stroking it gently through the fabric. 

“Oh God, I’m so hot for you. Wish you could just take me.” Jensen moaned.

“I’m going to take you in a good way but just not plugging the hole.” Jared grinned as he slid out of the bed and pulled Jensen back over on his back never releasing the grip he had on Jensen’s cock. Then diving down quickly he pulled down the scrub pants and took part of Jensen’s length into his mouth quickly, real quickly, and the he started with the sucking and tongue action. He was so hot for him he pulled every trick in the book out right now.

 

“J-Jay I’m n-not gonna, oh my GOD, last long this way!” Jensen managed to say, Jared grinned around his mouthful of cock then he started face fucking him. And it was all over, Jensen was a little minute man missile in his own rights, but also had the stamina to stay up for an hour. Right now he wanted released and he took it groaning as he shot his load into Jared’s waiting mouth, that hot cavern that had the wonderful tongue monster. Jared swallowed the load and milked him dry. Then, Jared sat back up as if nothing had happened but with a massive grin on his face. 

“Tastes great, less filling!” Jared teased.


	10. Chapter 10

Jensen in the meantime was floating with little after tremors that caused him to jump he was also hypersensitive as hell. Jared knew this from long experience. When he came quickly he was instantly in a ‘don’t touch me’ mode. So Jared took advantage carefully running his hand down his scrub covered chest causing Jensen to arch off the bed and let loose a little screech of pleasure. Then fell back on the bed turning a glare at Jared.

 

“You know not to do that!” He said breathlessly.

“How about if I do this?” Jared asked and he ran one hand up Jared’s thigh to his crotch.

“You’re going to get me into another predick-ament where you’re going to be busy.” Jensen said with a massive grin and laugh as Jared pulled back with the full on puppy-dog looking pout. “Oh come here babe.” Jensen said pulling Jared into a huge hug and lengthy kissing session. One that left them both breathless for the moment.

 

The dinner cart came around and left them two plates, so they ate hungrily, and wanted more. They were more than grateful when they saw Alan and Sherri coming in the door with a sack with the White Castles logo on the side.

 

“Thought y’all could use some junk food.” Alan said passing the sack to them and sitting the drinks on the little hospital table.

 

“Jensen, slow down hon, nobodies gonna take it from you!” Sherri said in dismay as he attempted to each of the small burgers whole. Jared wasn’t much better.

“We’ve had hospital food for three days , we need real food now and then.” Jared said with a mustard stained grin. He wiped his mouth quickly and looked at the parents. “Where’s mom and dad?” 

“They said that they would be here around sixish.” Sherri said.

“Got some good news.” Jensen said just as Jerry and Donna entered carrying a small white box. 

“We brought dessert, some baklava from that charming deli near your apartment.” Donna said grinning. 

“Good y’all all are here. Good news! Great news! I go home tomorrow! Me no have to stay the typical two weeks. Doc Branson said I wasn’t crazy enough for her to keep me that long.”

“That is WONDERFUL news honey!” Sherri squealed.

“It couldn’t have come at a better time!” Donna said happily. “This is wonderful!!!”

“Good news son! Glad to hear it.” Alan responded while Jerry was about to add his but looked at Jared and winked Jared knew that wink and what it was for so they sidled off for a minute then were back with the group.

 

Jensen described the technique that Dr. Branson was teaching him as to controlling stress. And how she was working with him through the anxieties. Sherri thought for a moment then it was as if a light were going off above her head. She slapped her hands together and smiled then frowned.

 

“What is it mom?” Jensen asked.

“I may have what might have been the trigger for all this, you probably buried in your subconscious and you didn’t realize it until now.” Sherri said between happiness and sadness.

“What’s that mom?” 

“Allyson, Ally.” She said, she looked at Jerry, Jared and Donna. “Y’all probably never heard of her, that was Jensen’s little sister. She was killed by a hit and run driver when she was five, Jensen had just turned twelve.” Jensen’s face grew solemn with the memory. 

“You’re right mom, I had forgotten her till now and that’s probably a trigger.” He said sadly, “She was running in the front yard playing with her soccer ball and kicked it into the street. I called after her to look both ways and started running for her. Instead of looking she just ran out into the street. It was over in an instant and the driver of the caddy peeled rubber out of there.” His voice became fragile with the telling and Jared was instantly by his side. 

“Calm down baby, don’t force it.” Jared told him.

“The cars bumper clipped her in the head and threw her backwards, she was dead on impact the EMT’s said when they got there. Oh God Mama, do you think?” Jensen said trying to shut the memory back away, but like the proverbial Genie out of the bottle it could not be pushed back in.

“Oh I should’ve kept my fool mouth shut.” Sherri said abruptly. Donna shot her a look of agreement on that issue. Sherri blushed furiously. Alan came to her rescue.

“You had no idea what a memory like would’ve done, it’s okay honey, we’ll deal with the fallout as it comes.”

“Oh God…” Sherri moaned and broke down in tears, but oddly Jensen kept calm, resolutely trying to eat the remains of his burger. 

 

Finally there was nothing for it. Jensen knew this was another development that they would have to catalog to tell Dr. Branson about. 

“It’s all right mom, it’ll be alright.” Jensen said sitting up and taking her hand from where she was settled on the bed. “That was so long ago, I barely remember my feelings about it now. I know how that sounds and I’m sorry for sounding that way. But…there ya go.” He said

“Don’t be sorry son, something like that if you can forget anything about it it’s a blessing.” Jerry said smiling wanly. “Sometimes the less we remember is the better.” He said. 

Jared looked warily at Jensen for any signs of relapse but he appeared completely calm about the matter which meant he would fall apart with Jared later on when they were alone. He cringed at the thought but knew it was necessary. Soon Alan, Jerry and Donna managed to get Sherri calmed down. She looked up at Jensen the grabbed him in a hug and kiss and nearly bolted out the door. 

“Sorry about that guys, that’s how she deals with mega embarrassment. We’ll see you tomorrow, I assume we’re meeting at the apartment?” Alan asked.

“Yeah dad, of course, I’ll call and let you know when I’m checked out so that you can meet us over there.” Jensen said suddenly bright. Alan looked at him curiously 

“Dad that was over 20 years ago, I can’t ever remember what I felt much less have full recall of the event. Please tell mom that it was not her fault and get her calmed down or she’ll be a wreck tonight.”

“I can already tell this is gonna be a night for one of her nerve pills.” Alan said waving at everybody else then leaving.

Jensen looked at the bag of three burgers left on the bed. “Y’all hungry?” He asked Jerry and Donna. They just shook their heads.

“Jensen sweetie, you don’t have to be a bastion of calm when something like this comes up.”

“I know. I just feel a little numb right now. I haven’t thought of Ally in so long that I forgot most of what happened afterwards.” Jensen said.

 

Donna stood and stepped up close to the bed. “We’ll go now and leave you be. We’ll see you tomorrow exactly as planned?” She asked Jared who nodded quickly. She bent down and gave Jensen a kiss and hug, then hugged Jared before they left the room for the night.

Jared looked at him, “Do you want me to leave as well?” He said half joking, hoping to get a rise out of Jensen.

“Oh God No! Please, whatever you do don’t leave me alone now.” Jensen said a spark of life in his eyes now. He reached out and Jared was instantly there in his arms. Jensen had just thought he plumbed the depths of his emotion pit, this was a whole new level of mess. He remembered the accident, what it looked like afterwards, but that was all he could recall. His memory recall of the events afterwards were a complete blank. It was like the memory cycle went from being twelve years old playing with his sister in the yard to being fourteen and having a birthday bash at the local water sports amusement park with his friends. He held onto Jared like a life preserver for quite a while then slowly began to loosen his grip. Finally he was relaxed back to himself which Jared thought was dangerous but said nothing. They ate one piece of the baklava together then settled back for the night.

 

“Oh God Jared, I so hate this happening to Mom right now.” Jensen said.

“How about you, I mean you say that you don’t remember…” Jared started and Jensen froze him with a single look. 

“Babe, if it’s all the same to you, I don’t want to remember.” Jensen said quietly. Jared nudged Jensen in the bed and slid in pulling Jensen halfway onto his chest. “Oh I have so missed this.”

“We can cuddle for as long as you like.” Jared told him firmly.

“Good because I think I need your arms until I go to sleep tonight.” Jensen told him.

“I’m here all night if need be.” Jared said.

“Thanks.” 

 

The next morning woke with the curled facing each other on the somewhat tiny mattress. The laughed about it and got out of bed taking care of their morning regime. The breakfast cart came around and they dined then at 10:30 a charge nurse came in with a sheaf of paperwork for Jensen to sign. After which he was told that he was free to leave. So gathering up their belongings they started out of the room and were met by Christian, alone for once.

 

“I figured you’d need some help getting out of here. SO here I am. Make me your Sherpa oh great drag queen.” Christian intoned playfully. 

“I have never done drag in my life; I wouldn’t know how to start.” Jensen said.

“Don’t worry I know another queer I can put you in contact with that can tell you more than you ever wanted to know about drag.” Christian cawed. “Come on let’s blow this firetrap.” He said happily. They got downstairs and went to Christians six pack pickup truck. 

“Where’s my Honda?” Jensen asked quickly.

“Waiting for you at the apartment, now come on and pile in.” Jensen wasted no time obeying those orders and they were soon in the mesh of downtown LA traffic. They seemed to be taking a scenic route as it was not the quickest way back to the apartment. When they got there they gathered up their stuff and started up the stairway to the apartment Jared brought his keys out and opened the door to…”SURPRISE!”, There were balloons and bunting and all kinds of merrymaking ready to go on in their nicely spacious loft. Chad, Misha and Harry were there along with Gen and Dani, Sandy and Soph from the Thetas who had two boyfriends who immediately came up to Jensen with raised hands.

“We find the terms of your negotiation completely acceptable. I’m Troy the head Alpha, I want to apologize for the damage my associates did at your last party.” 

“Your apology is unnecessary, we have settled those matters long ago, we are just glad you’re here.” 

Troy offered his hand, Jensen took it in both of his. Then he looked to Christian who stepped forward looking at the extended hand. 

“Do you pledge to help us find out who broke into the Omega’s house?” Christian asked.

“We so pledge.” Troy said solidly, he was as obviously perturbed about the incident as were the Delt’s. Christian took his hand in both of his 

“Peace between houses.” Christian said.

“Peace between houses.” Troy echoed. Then smiled and started mixing with the others off to the side Jensen hear Alan say to Jerry. 

“And the ladies seem to find our lodge doings strange.” He shook his head in wonder.

Jensen walked over to Sherri who was looking strangely reserved. He bent down and hugged her tightly. “It’s okay mom, everything is fine, thank you for reminded me. That’s another piece of the puzzle that fits the situation.

There were four easels scattered around the apartment with artwork on display. Dani came up to him. “It needed livening up some.” The she leaned in to whisper the picture you were fond of over there is yours the rest can be yours for…” She named a price.

He grinned. “I can cut you a check after the party.

That’s when Christian looked around the place, it nice, spacious, airy, but it was lacking something. Then it hit, two walls were solid black He looked and grabbed Jared as he went by. “Pick a colour any colour and we’ll paint this place.”

“We’ve been talking about that we were going to paint the two black walls bright green and the two green walls bright blue.”

“Like sky blue.” Christian asked curiously.

“Exactly!” Jared said, and we were going to paint the bed room a softer green.

Christian nodded his head thoughtfully and smiled. “You and bozo decide on some paint samples from the Homo Depot and we’ll paint it for you. Don’t try to argue your way out of this one. You’ll lose.” Christian muttered as he could over the crowd.” Then he disappeared into the crowd. It took Jared a few minutes to find Jensen he was backed against a wall trembling a little bit. Jared snagged two beers and went over to the waiting Jensen.

“Hey babe.” Jared told him. Jensen had a hunted look. “Concentrate on me. Focus on me. Don’t let the crowd overwhelm you. He passed him a beer. Jensen turned it up immediate draining the first quarter of the bottle.

“I’ll be alright, I’m here with you, I’ll be fine.

 

They saw a man in a clergical collar make his way over to them.

“Jared, Jensen, I must apologize for not coming by earlier. I got called away from LA to Denver by a sister of mine who was diagnosed the other day with breast cancer. I do so apologize.” Father Jim said sincerely.

“You had to go where you were needed.” Jensen said understandingly. “It’s alright, I swear I won’t hold it over your head, your sister and cancer, that trumps a nervous breakdown hands down.” Jensen said grinning. “How is she?” He asked.

“Traumatized, it’s in both sides. She going in next week for a radical mastectomy. So I had to be there to counsel both my sister and her husband. I may have to go back before the end of the week but I wanted to come back and make sure the parish was taken care of as well.” He said.

“Good,” Jared said, “Hey! This is as good a time as any to meet the parents. Come on!” He told the priest grabbing Jensen by his arm. He pulled him close, ”If this gets too much sneak off to the bedroom.” Jensen nodded abruptly. “We’ll fill you in on all the details of what’s happened when we got time to breathe and in a slightly less partying atmosphere.” He told Fr. Jim. “Hey Dad! Alan! Come over here a minute, where’s, oh wait there they are. HEY MOM! GRAB SHERRI AND COME OVER HERE!” In a few minutes they were gathered together in the bedroom area which was the least populated place for the moment. Introductions were made, and simple plans were talked about, with an invitation to the church for Wednesday for midweek services. He also told them that there would be a special reception for Jensen and Jared. 

 

“The boy sent us some pictures of the sanctuary, it’s looks quite nice.” Alan commented.

“It’s spacious as well, that’s a good thing.” Sherri noted.

“Oh don’t forget the parish hall, it looks well lit and substantial.” Jerry threw in.

“The parish hall is fully as large as the nave, what you would call the sanctuary.” Fr. Jim said smiling.

 

“Oops, there you are, was looking for you.” Chad said sticking his head around the curtain. 

“Kinda busy at the moment making some plans.” Jared said pointedly.

“Gotcha, returning to the party then.” He said as he popped back out.

 

“We would like to come in a little early Wednesday and give the place a looksee, if you no objection?” Donna said.

“By all means, please do come by, the Nave is open from 8:00 a.m. until 9:00 p.m. but myself of my secretary will be more than glad to show you around.”

“Thanks Fr. Jim, you’ve been most helpful and in the middle of all this that’s a blessing mega standards.” Alan said looking around. 

“Shall we join the rest?” Sherri asked.

“You folk go out I’m going to give Jensen a chance to breath.” Jared said.

“Nerves dear?” Donna asked.

“Big crowd.” Jensen noted.

“We can call time on the party.” Alan said.

“No! Please don’t, it’s good for them to gather like this and it’ll be good for me too, I’ll be back out in a minute, I promise.” Jensen said.

They nodded quietly and slowly drifted back out with Sherri stopping to look meaningfully at Jensen. He gave her a hug and whispered. “It’s okay mom, really, the size of the crowd just spooked me a little, I’ll be fine.” He assured her. She nodded and kissed his cheek then rejoined the party.

 

Jensen walked around to the dresser and opened a drawer pulling out his checkbook and a pen. He quickly made out a check to Dani and put it in his shirt pocket. Then he sat down on the bed breathing deeply, he looked at Jared and nodded.

 

“Okay I’ve played chicken enough let’s do this thing.” He said taking another pull on his beer. He looked at it, “This one is nearly a dead soldier, let’s grab some snack and more beer.”

“Careful with that Jen.” Jared warned.

“I know and I will be I promise, but right now I want to enjoy our party.” He said stubbornly and stepped around the privacy curtain and into the mass of people once again. They wandered over to a table where there was plenty of chips, salsa, dip, and platters of sandwiches. Then at one end of the table was a box, they looked at each other and walked over to the box. Carefully opening the lid to the bakery box they found a sheet cake done with baklava iced with an image of a cello and a guitar screen printed on it. Carefully they lifted it out of the box and sat it on the table. There was a cheer as the crowd saw the cake and looking up Jared whistled piercingly to get folks attention. 

“Hey I don’t know whose idea this was, but thanks, now if you want a piece of baklava line up now.” Jared and Jensen cut the first piece together and fed it to each other.

“Hey we’re getting in practice for the wedding.” Jared said smiling. They served several until Dani and Gen got around to them. 

“Guys this is your party, so party already.” Dani said taking over for Jared. They guys laughed and grabbed a couple of sandwiches to start with and found a reasonably sedate corner to eat in. They went back for the chips and salsa, and finally got another slice of baklava each. After the cake was served the party was starting to wind up with some dancing and a few frat house antics. 

 

It was however, for all that it was a frat and sororities occasion a tame one by comparison. The party wound down around 6:00 when Jensen finally held up his hands to get some quiet.

 

“I really hate to be a spoilsport but can we call it a day. I’m still feeling a bit wonky.” The crowd cheered gave a last hurrah and dispersed until it was just Jensen, Jared and the parents. 

 

“We’re going to head back to the motel now.” Jerry said arm in arm with Donna.

“Yeah, the same for us. We’re tired and know you must be exhausted.” Sherri said with Alan at her side.

“Mom, Dad, that was a signal to boot you out as well.” Jensen said flustered.

“No but you’re right. This is you first day out of the hospital you need to get rested to start back with your classes.” Alan said firmly. They hugged and kissed and were soon gone as well until at last, at long last it was just Jared and Jensen in the apartment.

“Clean up tomorrow, for now I want to lie down for a bit.” Jensen said shaking slightly. Jared nodded and guided him into the bedroom helping him strip down to his boxers, as did Jared. They crawled under the covers and lay there, with Jensen in a shake from head to toe. 

 

“Jensen, hey, it’s alright babe, you’re with me now, just us.” Jared told him as Jensen reached around him and clung to him. “It was a dumb idea submitting you to a massive invasion like, I’m so sorry.” Jared said guiltily.

“It’ll be okay man, just give me some time to get my land legs back, okay?” 

 

“Let’s make sure iPad’s are fully charged tonight, I have a feeling I’m going to need it come tomorrow afternoon.” Jensen said his voice thick and raw with emotion.

Jared rocked him gently in his arms until at last he fell asleep against him. It didn’t take Jared long to doze off for a nap as well. 

 

He woke up and it was well after dark. The alarm clock at the bedside said 3:30, but Jared was painfully wide awake now. Jensen was rolled over on his other side away from Jared. So he took the time to get up and hook up their pads to their chargers. And he did a little cleaning as well. The leftover sandwiches had been put back in the fridge. So all Jared had to do was pick up the occasional beer bottle and napkins. He got that done in fairly record time by the dim light of a torcheire in the room. He was just finishing sweeping up when he saw Jensen standing at the side of the curtain leading to their bedroom.

 

“Oh damn, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.” Jared said instantly contrite.

“It was this that woke me, you were gone from bed.” Jensen said and turned and walked back into the bedroom. Jared put down broom and dustpan and a quick wash of his hands he was back in bed with Jensen. 

“How am I going to do it Jay?” Jensen asked in a small voice. 

“Just the way you do everything else, you’ll back your ears and grab the situation by the balls.” Jared told him smiling slightly.

“I’m serious man, We’ll be together for three classes tomorrow, but I’ve got that 2 hour lecture course tomorrow afternoon. We’re supposed to handle that with using your picture on an iPad?” Jensen said his voice cracking now.

“Jens, babe, you’re getting wound up again and we don’t even know if the idea will work, but we gotta try it.”

“I know…” Jensen said a tear falling from his eye. “I’m afraid and I don’t even know of what.” He gasped.

“We’ll fill in the details as we got for now though try and get some more rest. I’ll be right here with you, I promise.” Jared said hugging and kissing him back to sleep.

 

The next morning they woke at 6:30, got a quick wake up shower and then took a good run around stockbrokers square, finally ending up with a brisk walk around their apartment block to end up at the deli where Rufus and Mildred treated them to breakfast, Mildred making a great fuss with Jensen and hugging and kissing him.

 

“We would’ve come by, but I know from nerves. The last thing you need is a crowd. I was worried about you last night.” She said.

Jensen smiled slightly around a bite of bagel and swallowed. “It was rough, but I made it through with Jared’s help.”

“He’s such a mensch. You really lucked out with this one kiddo, hold onto him.” Rufus said kidding with him. Then their morning rush was starting and they had to man the counters. After breakfast they walked back upstairs for a leisurely shower and then using the Honda, drove over to campus where they started back with the classes. 

 

Ironically it wasn’t as bad as was feared, Jensen was slightly nervous but the Zoloft cut the edge on that. The only real problem was when they hit the student center for lunch to find Christian and the gang motioning them to a table.

 

“How you doing Jenny?” Christian asked concerned.

“A bit frazzled around the edges but I think I’ll be okay.” Jensen said with some relief.

“We’ve got that lecture class together this afternoon so I’ll keep an eye on him for you.” Chad told Jared.

“We got clearance from the professors we can stay in video sync on our iPads.” Jared told them.

“EXCELLENT!” Misha shouted. “Well it is.” When the others looked at him strangely. 

“Now about the kegger this weekend.” Christian started.

“Let me get back to you on that, Chris.” Jensen said eyeing him quietly.

“Sure man, do want to push you into anything. But it’d be great if you and bright boy there could play some stuff for us.”

“Well we do know several jazz tunes, and some Yo-yo Ma.” Jensen noted. “We’ll see.”

 

The lecture course was an experiment in terror for Jensen who had his pad on and tuned to Jared who was looking at him as well. He mouthed. “I love you.” 

Jensen mouthed back, “you too.” And the class began. Jensen felt the flight syndrome kicking in about halfway through class, but Misha reached over and rubbed his neck gently and that called him down. Dr. Jarrett looked their way for a moment then resumed his lecture on “The Ethics of Corporation Strategic Shareholding.”

 

The last 15 minutes of that class were hardest on Jensen who finally packed up his notebook and iPad and despite Misha’s ministrations he bolted. He met up with Jared shortly afterwards on the quad where Jensen huddled close.

 

“I made through most of the class, but it was so hard.” Jensen said weakly.

“You did great. You lasted for an hour and forty-five minutes, that’s excellent.” Then Jared looked at him. “Okay we’re done for the day, I’ve already texted our folks that we’d be back to the apartment in thirty so shall we.”

“Please.” He said tossing the keys to Jared. Who took with them with a raised eyebrow. He got them home and parked the in the actual apartment itself. They were having an afternoon beer when the door buzzer rang.

 

“It’s us.” Sherri said. 

“Okay come on up.” Jensen said buzzing them into the building. In the apartment there was an afternoon tea going on with leftover sandwiches, beer and other drinks and some of the baklava cake. 

“How did classes go?” Sherri asked.

Jensen looked pensive for a moment, “Did alright with the classes with Jay with me.”

“But the one where he wasn’t took its toll?” Sherri asked.

“Yeah, it got kind of scary for a little while. Luckily Misha was there with me and we had several moments where it was touch and go, but we managed. The best part was the connection I had with Jared through the iPads. If it weren’t for them I don’t know what exactly I would have done.”

Jared looked up, “Hey it’s a nice day out why don’t we walk around to the church and let y’all get an intimate look at it?” He suggested.

“You feel up to it Jensen?” Donna asked concerned.

“Yeah, please some fresh air is just what I need right now.” Jensen pleaded.

 

So, leaving the apartment they walk down and around the substantial block to the church. The parents were already thrill with the exterior views. Pointing out great features to shoot with a camera. Then Jared and Jensen took them inside. They were alone in the nave for right now. The huge red doors opened to a small gathering area, which opened into the nave itself. Donna and Sherri stepped away from the men for a moment in whispered conversation and pointing to this feature and that one. Jared, Jensen, Alan, and Jerry walked down the center of the aisle to the communion rail. They turned and looked back up the aisle.

 

“The place is really sweet!” Alan said. “The architecture is outstanding. And the stained glass a perfect touch.”

“Thank you for saying so, it’s always nice to hear compliments on the church.” Fr. Jim said joining them at the rail. Sherri and Donna were on their way to join the men. 

 

“They’ve already started planning.” Jared said with a grin.

“That’s what scares me.” Jerry whispered.

“This nave is over 100 years old. It’s part of the original church that was built in 1908.” Fr. Jim told them. 

“You said you have candle lighted pew markers?” Sherri asked.

“Certainly we use them for Holy Days and Weddings mainly.” Fr. Jim told them. “We’ll be lining the pews with them, and they are designed to have an arrangement of flowers wired to the pole itself. We’ll also have white hangings on the altar, lectern and pulpit. Candelabras?” He asked.

“We were just thinking about that and we think that it would be too much. Jared and Jensen have talked about a fairly simple wedding ceremony.”

“We want it centered on the reason for wedding not on how pretty we can decorate.” Jensen told the priest.

“Good, that’s a good line of thinking. As you can see the actual seating is significant.” Fr. Jim addressed Jared and Jensen. “I assumed you were going to open this to the congregation as well?” He asked.

“Oh absolutely!” Jensen chimed immediately. “They have been absolutely wonderful to us since we moved into the neighbourhood. Yes they’re invited.”

“Well run through the special music you have in mind as well as a walkthrough of the service itself. But we got plenty of time for that.” Fr. Jim said with a grin. “Ladies, Gentlemen, if you’ll follow me we’ll step into the Parish Hall.” It was adjacent to the Nave via a corridor. The hall was huge, fully the size of a gymnasium with more stained glass and a slightly more modern look. “As you can see we have a little stage area where your DJ or musicians can play. We have a full kitchen attached to this as well as a sound system in place.” Fr. Jim said proudly. “This was added around 1965 if I remember correctly. They had a parish hall attached here but it was about half this size and really was cramped. They redesigned it using the same stained glass and had no problem setting up the form with function.” Jerry and Alan looked around eyeing the dimensions and set up. Sherri and Donna were discussing how to decorate. 

 

“We’ll have to get out here the week before just to coordinate all decorations.” Sherri pointed out. She turned to Fr. Jim. “Would there be a problem with using coming out and doing some decorating a day or two in advance?” 

Fr. Jim laughed and smiled. “Absolutely not, of course you’re welcome to come out, I hoped you would want to, I can get with the Altar Guild and they can have some members here to assist you.”

“Oh that would be wonderful!” Donna exclaimed.

Jerry looked at Alan, “And we stay out of the way.” 

“Got that right.” Alan muttered back. 

 

Fr. Jim looked at the group. “I should mention that we do not permit flash photography during the ceremony. We can do posed shots before the service. If someone wants to video tape it that’s okay as well as long as they respect the church and not try to turn it into a Hollywood backset.” 

 

“Good, finally some opposition to something, I was beginning to think this was too easy.” Donna said smiling. 

“We’re pretty much free form in everything else.” Fr. Jim noted.

“Good as well, we’re thinking something to match the décor of the structure. Plus with white on the altar, that give us the ability to use whites, golds, and yellows in the arrangements. Which brings to mind do you know who’s the best florist in the area?” Sherri asked.

“That would Fulton’s, they’re over on Market Street, pretty large business and prominent signage, kind of hard to miss. But they do most of our weddings. They got some great idea people there as well and will work with you.” Fr. Jim said.

“Mom, I’m so not going to carry a bridal bouquet.” Jensen told her.

“No that’s absolutely out of the question. We’re free form here but we do not make a mockery of the services.” Fr. Jim said plainly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t suggesting that, though it would be a cute candid shot to do later somewhere else.” Donna exclaimed.

“Mom no. This is our day, we’ve got enough to do just making sure the frat houses keep order.” Jensen said.

“Perhaps it would be best if you got them to drop by so we could discuss appropriate and acceptable behavior.” Fr. Jim told them.

 

“I think that’s an excellent idea.” Alan said. Jerry nodded. Jensen and Jared knew they were going to have their work cut out for them. Jared looked at the priest and nodded as did Jensen. “You will get them to listen to reason won’t you?” Alan said ominously.

 

“Dad, I promise we’ll swing by the Delta’s house and Omega’s and let them know goofing off during our day will not be tolerated.” Jared said.

“I think you might be going a bit strong there Jared.” Fr. Jim told him.

“I don’t think I’m going strong enough, these guys are usually well behaved at major functions, I’m just going to make sure none of them revert to being six years old again.” Jared said quietly.


	11. Chapter 11

The finished their tour of the facilities and were more than a little satisfied with the results then Jerry looked around, “I don’t know about the rest of you but I could kill for a steak right now.” His opinion was echoed by several with Jensen’s plea of “Let’s get somewhere a little quiet please.”

 

“I was thinking Ruth Chris steak house.” Alan said. To which Jerry nodded. “Come on boys, most you’ll hear there, is quiet conversation and the music. And I think a couple of bottles of wine would go nice with dinner.” 

The did adjourn to the steak house where two hours later they returned to the apartment very replete having hit them prior to their evening rush hour. They had an excellent time and even had Jensen relaxed to the point of making jokes and kidding. He did however blush furiously when Jared reached next to him and squeezed him in a hug.

 

“Get used to it hon.” Sherri told him to which they all laughed. At the apartment they previewed their tuxedoes for the parents to see and there was thankfully no funny looks at the colour selection. Jensen was relaxed now totally, which Jared was elated to see. The parents left shortly afterwards and the warning that they were booked on the earlier morning flight out of LAX back to Dallas/Ft. Worth. 

 

“We understand guys, we didn’t anticipate you’re coming out much less staying this long but we damn sure appreciate it.” Jensen said with a grin.

“More than you’ll ever know.” Jared added. “I honestly, don’t know how well I would have handled this by myself.”

“You would’ve done a bang up job son, you always do.” Jerry said. So the family exchanged kisses and hugs and they parted for the night with the mention that they would see them back in about six weeks for wedding preparations. They saw them off then Jared went immediately to his cell phone and called Christian. 

 

“Yeah, what’s up moose?” Christian answered promptly.

“We need to meet soon.” Jared told him.

“Like how soon?” Christian asked.

“Fifteen minutes, our place, the beer’s cold.” Jared answered with some anxiety.

“Who all do you need?” 

“High Council. Got some information about the wedding that is a hot-point issue.” Jared told him.

“On our way.” Christian replied crisply.

 

Twenty minutes later the door buzzer rang. Jensen didn’t wait and just buzzed them into the building. In the apartment they were gathered around with Misha looking decidedly put out.

 

“What’s the matter Mish?” Jensen asked.

“I was having a most amorous time with an Alpha, oh yeah man an Alpha dude.” Misha said moaning.

“I promise I won’t keep you long and you can get back to your dude.” Jared answered.

 

He proceeded to let them know what the priest said that afternoon about behavior standards and how there would be no monkey business tolerated. 

 

“What make you think there would be any?” Christian asked confused.

“I’m a Delt dude, I know how we think and if I were in a position to hoot at someone’s wedding I would. But please guys, I’m begging you.” Jensen said.

“Hey man, who, we’ll be on best behavior, but we can’t answer for the other houses.” Christian said firmly and a little hurt. “Besides if I act up in there there’ll be a second crucifixion from Fr. Jim.”

Jared felt responsible and a bit guilty. “Dude I’m sorry to be the bearer of news like this but the sooner we got in out the better. And don’t worry I’m going to have a similar talk with the Omega’s tomorrow. Then we’ll get with Dani and Gen, Sandy and Soph. We’ll cover all the bases. We’re just real anxious.” 

 

Christian laughed and punched him playfully. “It’s okay dude. No offence taken. We know how some houses can be but an event like this, you may be surprised at what good behavior.”

“Look, we’ll make it up to you with a kegger the weekend after we married.” Jensen said with a grin.

“Damn right you will at our house, this time, and we party hardy.” Christian told him.

Jensen gulped, “You got it bro.”

 

“How did you do after the party yesterday?” Chad asked.

“What do mean?” Jensen asked genuinely puzzled.

“We were there man, I saw you at one point over against the wall with the priest guy and your folks.” Chad mentioned. “You were whiter than a sheet and shaking.” 

Jensen blushed, “How many others noticed?” 

“Not sure, maybe the Omegas and Theta’s, the Alpha’s were too busy being courted by the Thetas.” Chad replied.

“Oh shit, I’m going now to dig a hole and pull the dirt in behind me.” Jensen said groaning.

“Dude, wake the hell up, we were surprised about the party, figured you’d want a quiet homecoming. Not the word we got however.” Chad mentioned.

“So I understand.” Jensen said looking at an embarrassed Jared.

“Okay I see that topic’s already come up. Anyhow, you were not doing good.” Chad mentioned.

“Too much, too soon is all. I snapped back with a night’s sleep.”

“You didn’t exactly snap back.” Misha said accusingly.

“Sayeth my bulldog who kept my sanity in check during that Brokerage lecture.” Jensen said with a grin.

“Well you needed it.”

 

They parted company shortly afterwards with Jensen swearing to keep the council apprised of his situation. Even after he insisted that he was not a fragile petal of a flower that would wither and fall at a moment’s notice. Then it was just Jared and Jensen, then it was Jared and Jensen snuggling under the covers of their bed.

 

“How you feeling?” Jared asked.

“Nervous about the wedding still, I’ll admit, but I’m starting feel a little more at ease at the same time, does that make any sense?” Jensen admitted.

Jared nodded. “There anything I can do to help you feel more at ease?” Jared asked trailing kisses down his neck.

“Oh man, you keep that up I’d think you’re feeling frisky.” Jensen said with a laugh.

“Oh I’m feeling a lot of things, frisky is just part of the list.” Jared said running his hand lightly down Jensen’s chest.

 

The next morning they slept in until 7:00 then got up forgot about the shower and went for their run the came back immediately and went for a long languid shower in which some more oral action was gotten into. They were soon ready for breakfast then classes. Jensen wiggling a bit in Longford’s Music Theory class. 

 

“Pain in the bum?” Jared asked with a smirk.

“Triples was not fair last night and a run on top of all that.” Jensen griped.

 

“Mr. Ackles, if I could persuade you and Mr. Padalecki to pay attention you might learn a thing or three about choosing the music for you upcoming nuptials.” Professor Longford told them. Earning them a teasing laugh from the class. Abashed they turned their attention to the front of the class.

 

By the end of the day, Jared intercepted a nervous but slightly less pale Jensen who seemed very eager to go.

“What’s the rush?” Jared asked.

“My self-confidence is at stake.” He said hurriedly. 

“Okay, come on the cars just over there.” Pointing to where they parked after lunch.

“Jenny! Wait up!” Christian said jogging towards them.

“Oh shit. I’ll be in the car.” And with a burst of speed Jared had not seen or known him capable of he was gone. 

“What’d you do to him?” Jared asked accusingly.

“Wasn’t me, he did it to himself.” Christian asked.

“You’ve lost me.” 

“Misha one handedly rub his neck, easing the tension. Obviously it works, only thing is Jenny forgot to tell Misha that’s one of his e-zones.”

“He didn’t!” Jared said scandalized. 

“He moaned in the middle of Jarrett’s lecture.”

“Ok I’ll go and try to salvage his emotional state and not bust out laughing doing so.” Jared said then brightened, “Hey if you and some of the gang aren’t doing anything this evening come around to St. Barts, they have regular Wednesday night mass at 6:00 with a special welcoming party for us afterwards. You won’t have to spike the punch either, I’m to the understanding there’ll be a kettle of Irish Whiskey Punch on the table.”

“Oh man! I may just break a hard and fast rule about going to church.” Christian said. “Let me see what happens.” Christian said as he took off in the other direction. Jared got over to the Honda and climbed in. 

 

He took one look at Jensen and fought to keep a grin down, but it wasn’t working.

“The bastard told you didn’t he!?” Jensen said his nerves raw.

“Yep and I wish I could’ve been there massaging your neck instead of Misha.” Jared said seriously. Jensen was sitting there with his face covered in his hands but when Jared came out with that statement he slowly uncovered.

“Really?” Jensen.

“Yup! You should be moaning for me anyway.” Jared said with a grin. Jensen buried his face back in his hands.

“Just take me home where I can at least crawl under the bed in shame.” Jensen said dramatically.

“Nope we gotta go home and get ready for that party the church is throwing for us this evening. Well more for you.” Jared said with a grin.

“Oh God, I forgot about that, you’ll stay right there with me?” Jensen asked. 

“I’ll never leave your side, I promise.” Jared said stoutly. “Come on my blushing bride, we’ve got enough time to fool around a little bit this afternoon before we have to be at the service.” Jared said smiling.

“You got a one track mind.” Jensen said laughing.

“You’re on the same rail as I am.” Jared shot back shooting out a hand to cup Jensen’s ample crotch.

“It’s lucky you’re driving,” Jensen said quickly gasping. “Get me home fast.” Jensen ordered.

 

That afternoon could have been view as therapeutic by some, overwhelmingly sexual by Jensen and downright evil to Jared so that by the time they were in church they both complaining about hard seats on sore bottoms. 

“Excuse me is this seat taken?” Jared looked up to see Christian and Harry there in nice evening attire for the warm summer evenings.

“My oh my, but what Mama Kane would give to see you right now. Suddenly there was a quick flash and then Jensen pocketing the phone. Christian started to let out a string of expletives when the organ prelude ended and the processional started. “Lift High the Cross.” The organ proclaimed. Chris and Harry watched and mimicked Jared and Jensen, bowing when they bowed and crossing themselves in just the right places.” 

Then came the communion and the usher got to their row to motion them to come out and go to the altar rail. 

 

“Uh Harry’s not Episcopalian.” Christian told him.

“You baptized?”

“Yeah I am, Southern Baptist.” Harry responded.

“Don’t matter none, come on God’s communion is open to all baptized believers.” 

Jared settled matter by lifting Christian to his feet so he and Harry would be compelled to go up. They took the bread and then the wine, eyebrows going up approvingly when they saw they were serving real alcohol.

 

There was about 100 for that service and while the crowd seemed small to Harry, Christian, and Jared it was overwhelming to Jensen, so the first thing they did was get a cup of whiskey punch in his hand at the collation afterwards. He sipped experimentally at the warm liquid and found the taste of whiskey pleasant especially cut by a bit of lemon and spices. He sipped at the cup and filled up his plate with some of the goodies from the table. Then they got led to a table by a couple near their age.

 

“Hi I’m June Carrow this is my husband Ken.” Hands were shaken and waves traded. 

“So how long you been members here?” Jared asked.

“This our 9th no 10th year.” Ken told them. “What do you think about it?”

“Still getting used to it.” Jensen admitted. 

“It is a lot.” June said back to him.

 

They all exchange pleasantries and stories, especially explaining they were students who just happened to live in walking distance. Christian and Harry were questioned about their church lineage and they admitted to their Southern Baptist roots.

 

“That’s okay,” June said, “I’m a cradle Episcopalian but Ken here was Primitive Baptist.”

“I guess this was a major change for you then?” Christian said focusing on Ken.

“It took a little getting used to, but it’s been worth it.” He said.

 

Jensen had another cup of the whiskey punch then Jared switched him to the nonalcoholic version. No one got seriously hammered there were a few there that got giggly happy. Jensen was just relaxed and that his attentions were focused on their one table made a difference, he did speak to several dozen others who came up welcoming them to the church. All too soon 9:00 came around and people were leaving, Jared and Jensen bade a goodnight to June and Ken then walked around to the apartment.

 

“So what did you think?” Jensen asked when they got upstairs.

“For church, not so bad, doesn’t mean I’m gonna roll out every Sunday to make a bee line over here.” Christian noted. “Father Jim would stroke out if I did that.” 

“My mama would tan my black ass.” Harry said quickly. “She don’t hold with nobody except the Southern Baptists period.”

 

They sat around talk for quite a while longer then Christian and Harry excused themselves getting back to their house. Jensen and Jared stayed up for a while long sharing a glass of wine while sitting on their sofa and staring up through the room’s most attractive feature a six by six foot skylight. 

 

“You seemed more at ease tonight.” Jared started.

Jensen snuggled against him and sighed. “The party was going on but I was in a central group I could focus on. It didn’t feel so hairy.”

“Excellent, that’s good, that’s a major improvement.”

“Just one thing.” Jensen said shivering a little bit.

“I’ve still got to deal with Ally. That’s a mystery to me and I don’t like my brain playing tricks on me like that.” Jensen explained.

“Jen, if your brain’s closed that off to you perhaps there’s a reason for it being closed off. Please don’t go pushing any walls.” Jared pleaded though he knew he was too late by half.

“I’ll try not to.” Jensen answered.

 

That night Jared was not surprised at being awakened by Jensen in the throes of a nightmare. He pulled him close gentling him carefully until he woke just enough to feel the sure arms of Jared around him and he sank back into sleep only to be awakened an hour later by more violent spasms.

Jared carefully snuggled him close and held him while he rode this one out. He finally woke after several minutes of Jared easing him through the event. 

 

“Sorry about that.” Jensen said yawning.

“What was all that about, I keep seeing Ally, her head swollen, dead on the street.” Jensen said.

“You really need to get your mind on something else.” Jared told him firmly.

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one with shit like that on a continual loop in your brain.” Jensen said a touch sharply.

 

Jared leaned across and kissed him deeply. After they broke contact he looked at his soon to be husband and told him. “No I don’t. I get to watch you put yourself through these convolutions.” Then Jared nuzzled him. “Jay, we got class tomorrow.” Jensen pointed out.

 

“Not until ten and if we sleep over a bit it’s not going to hurt.” He nuzzled him again. “Besides, who said anything about fucking you?” Jared told him naughtily as he slid down Jensen’s torso, nipping, sucking bite marks, in moments his nose was nestled in Jensen treasure trail and the nest of pubic hair. He languidly took Jared in his mouth and started a slow easy rhythm, a pleasure that Jensen adored. He knew it would speed up eventually, but the slow long strokes and laps were just what the doctor called for, right now. Actually if truth were to be known it was what was needed for both of them. Jensen loved the feelings he got from Jared tongue and teeth, so expertly applied and Jared loved the feeling he from swallowing Jensen’s length, especially now after a long hard day. Jared loved feeling the velvety smoothness of the shaft in his mouth, the unresisting hardness, and the drops of precome he was rewarded with. Jensen was fisting the sheets and moaning as he felt the oncoming rush of an orgasm like a freight train up a tunnel. Of course he couldn’t be blamed, he absolutely loved blow jobs and could hold on pretty well, but when the tension was high he lost control completely.

 

“Oh God Jay, right there, oh shit yeah.” That was when Jared spit slicked his middle finger and carefully worked the wet digit into Jensen. Jensen was already slick with sweat and love which made it all the easier especially when Jared pulled out to a groan from Jensen only to hear more as he slicked up the ring finger to join the middle. He probed deep, slow, and with a goal in mind which he knew he’d reached just after he stroke a round nubbin of a gland. Jensen practically levitated in pleasure from just that alone. He groaned in serious lust as he felt those fingertips brush over and over his prostate. The Jared deep throated and started humming at the same time. Now he moved his hips seductively as he continued to feed off the pleasure that Jared was giving him. Jared shifted in bed until he was in a 69 position. Jensen wasted no time but took to Jared’s length like a baby to a nipple. Jared was close as well so the tongue lashing that Jensen gave him was icing on the cake. The icing which for both came moments later as Jensen cried out, his mouth still wrapped around Jared as he came, Jared grinned and swallowed the musky liquid gratefully. He groaned as well as he felt his own orgasm welling forth like a geyser. In moments Jensen was having some of his own swallowing to do. They continued sucking at each other enjoying the aftershocks and tremors their orgasm brought them. 

 

Finally sated Jared turned back around in bed, pulling Jensen close and kissing him each sharing a taste of each other. “We really should take a shower.” Jensen said dozily.

“I don’t think you could stand up for one. We’ll take an extra-long shower in the morning after our run.” Jared bargained.

“You got it, sexy britches.” Jared told him as they cuddled up.

 

This was pretty much how the next month went by, their lovemaking sessions on a regular basis, using the Viagra once to see what the results would be. Jensen wasn’t counting on an erection that was that hard. Or as he told Jared, “I could drive nails through concrete with my dick right now.” They both laughed at that and the subject of his hammers ability became the stuff of joke between then. The only wrinkle in this month span was their first trip to Dr. Branson’s office. 

 

They were sitting in the nicely appointed waiting room and were slightly startled when they were called back. They were shown into a quiet little office with comfortable seating and a small office desk. Dr. Branson came in a few minutes later and started the session.

 

“Have there been any changes that you need to tell me about?” So Jensen told her about his reaction to his welcome home party and the party at the church. Then came the telling of Ally. Jensen told her what he could actually remember from the event, and some of his feeling this had generated, about how it was manifesting itself into his nightmares. “Yet another reason you are somewhat hyperprotective of Jared. It’s perfectly alright to have these feelings, but when they involved situations like what you’ve been faced with it’s time to look at them and evaluate them for what they may be or probably are.” 

 

“It’s like my mind has locked the memories away and thrown away the key.” Jensen sighed.

“Another reason we need to go ahead, pick that lock and open the door. There may come a day when an event will trigger the wall to collapse.” Dr. Branson told him firmly.

“But what if I don’t want that wall to come down?” Jensen asked.

“You mind will eventually erode it because your subconscious can’t leave it alone.” Dr. Branson told him. “I’ll work with you on opening this doorway, and I’ll work with you on handling the outcome from the event. But you’re going to have to face this sooner or later. Better sooner when you have some help to walk you through this.”

“What are some of the signals?” Jared asked.

“That the wall is eroding or the door opening.” Dr. Branson sighed, “It different with everyone that experiences this, mainly it’s a sense of foreboding accompanied with a headache. Most of the time chronic headaches are precursors to the realization of the event. If that starts we will judge the severity of the headache to see if we need to prescribe a migraine medication for you.” She told Jensen. “I think I want you to stop taking the Welbutrin as well, let’s see if that helps, it may be you’re overloaded.” Dr. Branson said.

Jensen breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, I was beginning to feel like a roving pharmacy. What about the Prozac and Zoloft?”

“That’s why I want to do the blood test on you to see what your liver function and other areas look like.” Dr. Branson leaned forward a bit then. “Psychological medications are tricky to work with, some moreso that common medications. The Zoloft appears to have helped you out, especially with the raised dosage. I’m thinking that maybe we need to look at something to replace the Risperidone as it either does not appear to be working or you may be underdosed which is just as bad as being overdosed. Let’s work with it. Go ahead and leave off the Risperidone as well for a while.” She looked at him pointedly for a moment. “You may experience some effects of withdrawal from these medications, but I think that potentially we have a lot more in the formulary we can use to treat these panic attacks and nightmares. “

 

 

After several more minutes of consultation she started him on the guided imagery relaxation series. He relaxed fairly quickly and was all too quickly absorbed in the event. Even Jared went along the ride and was refreshed on the surfacing. The doctor looked over his vitals ordered up bloodwork to be done prior to his next visit and then had that visit scheduled. 

 

Once they did get home, the first thing Jensen did was move the bottles of Welbutrin and Risperidone to the top shelf of the kitchen pantry to get it separated from his regular medications now. He then grabbed a beer from the fridge and went into the living room to join Jared to whom he passed a cold one to. 

 

“So how do you feel about that?” Jared asked.

“Two less pills I gotta mess with, I’m good with it.” Jensen said with a wary glance to the windows a moment. “I just have to wonder what I’m letting myself in for.”

“If it helps control the panic attacks, I mean that medicine may have been playing off one of the others. “ Jared sighed. “Sorry I sometimes wished I’d gone pre-med at least I’d be of some use.”

 

Jensen slid closer to him on the couch. “I think you are of some use now. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

Jared sniffed teasing. “You’d find someone.” 

“Wouldn’t be near as much fun as you.” Jensen said with a grin. 

“Probably wouldn’t have near as big of dick as me.” Jared said with an answering grin.

Jensen punched him in the arm, “I love you more than just for your dick…although I gotta admit that’s a hell of a nice addition to the package. Bet you pissed off a lot of sorority sisters when they found out you were gay.”

“There were a few fag hags on campus that tried to hook up with me to “CURE” me!” He said dramatically.

“Well it would appear that you managed to discourage them.” Jensen muttered happily.

“All but one and she is still convinced that she’s just the thing to turn me. Sadly while she has looks that’s about where it starts and stops.” Jared grimaced at the thought of her even thinking of turning up at the wedding. “She’s not in a sorority, the Thetas wouldn’t have her and none of the smaller groups around campus would touch her. I actually feel kind of sorry for her but any move I might make to look sympathetic towards her would just encourage her and that’s the last thing I want or need.” 

“Is she being bullied?” Jensen asked.

“No, she’s being ignored.” Jared answered.

“Ouch that’s just as bad.” Jensen said leaning back.

 

“Well not our problem.” Jensen said stepping into the kitchen and pulling out a packet of two sirloins and then turning to an appliance on the counter set the time for 5 minutes to heat up. The he got out some good looking potatoes, washing and piercing them well wrapped them in a paper towel each and put them in the microwave set for 10 minutes. In the meantime Jared came into the kitchen. 

 

“That how you really feel about her?” Jared asked.

“Face it Jay, if she would work on her personality maybe she’d find someone who would accept her for her.” Jensen said then froze and turned and noticed the look in Jared’s eye. “Oh no! We are not picking up a stray puppy this close to our wedding date. We don’t have time to Dr. Phil her.” The electric grill pinged and Jensen turned around and opened it, he took down a plate and liberally sprinkly it with rosemary then covering the steaks well in the herb he laid them on the grill and closed the lid. Setting the timer for 8 minutes, he then turned back to Jared. 

“We could at least talk to her as a couple, that would discourage her and maybe we could encourage her to seek out some help, Theta’s have plenty of ladies who would love the chance to turn a wallflower into someone.” Jared mentioned.

“I’ll give her ten minutes to convince me why we should spend time with her.” Jensen said finally. Jared jumped like a puppy who’d been given a treat. 

“Good, you’ll see what I’m talking about straight off maybe we could intro her to Sandy of Dani?” Jared wondered out loud.

“Gen would have a fit is you introed her to Dani and I hate to think what Chad would do, perverted as he is.” Jensen said with a ghost of a smile. He reached then into the fridge and pulled out a bag of mixed salad greens, toss the bag a few times the turned the greens out into a larger bowl. “Set the table please?” Jensen asked. When Jared was in the middle of this Jensen looked at him and the spring in his step. “You really want to try and help her don’t you?”

“Uh yeah.” Jared said quickly. The he walked over into the kitchen, “Red?” 

“Let’s try that Merlot that Sandy was raving about. The bottle should be in the pantry. Jared found it and popped the top sitting it on the counter for a bit to breathe. 

Two minutes later the grill pinged again and Jensen opened it tentatively prodding the steaks. And lowering the like set it for four more minutes. Jared turned to the overhead cabinet and brought down two wine glasses and poured. 

Jensen was no professional winetaster but he knew what to taste for and taking an experimental sip raised his eyebrows, “Not bad at all.”

Jared put the salad on the table just as the microwave went off. Jensen carefully lifted out the hot potatoes then put them on their dinner plates splitting them open and mashing at bit from each end to loosen the flesh of the potato. Adding a daub of butter to each potato he sprinkled some dried chives over them a small dollop of plain Greek yoghurt on each on and some bacon bits on that. The steaks were up next and promptly served. They sat down to their mean luxuriating in that it was a meal from THEIR kitchen, for once they weren’t eating out. Or eating college grade foodstuff, which usually meant pizza, day old pizza, two day old zapped in the microwave pizza, cold fried chicken, sandwiches, and other such mundane fare. They were doing more of these little restaurant-in-home type dinners and they were actually getting pretty good about pulling them together.


	12. Chapter 12

The following day at lunch break which for them was over an hour and a half thanks to scheduling, they met with Jared’s wallflower. She was sitting in a quiet corner of the student center trying to make herself look as unobtrusive as possible. At first look Jensen nodded, not bad looking just lost the self-confidence somewhere along the way. We’ll he’d agree to 10 minutes he would give Sam the introductions. So they walked up.

 

“Sera?” Sam said quietly. She looked up startled out of her reading. 

“Oh Jared, great to see you.” She said each word seemingly punctuated by a moment as she caught sight of Jensen then saw the ring fingers and the matching bands.

“This is my fiancé, Jensen Ackles, Jen this is Sera Gambles.” Jensen extended his hand the took it gingerly. 

 

“Ok, let me get this put into some form of perspective.” Jared took the seat in the booth next to her while Jensen sat across the table. You’ve been trying to poach my fiancé for some months now and no just isn’t working.” Jensen said as pleasantly as he could. She ducked her head embarrassed beyond measure. “Now before you go crawling back into a shell let’s evaluate your strong points. You’re attractive and before you deny it, I may be gay I but I know attractive to something you’d have to tie a steak around their neck to make the dogs play with her or him. You smart, you’re reading Robert Jordan which indicates patience in some things and you have a physics book peeking out of your book back. You just some work with make-up, darling trust me when I say that a little goes a long way and you’ve gone too far. Finally you need some work getting your self-confidence back. Did I pretty much assess you correctly?”

 

“Am I that readable?” Sera said timidly.

“Actually, yes you are, you are telegraphing your emotions by sitting here in the back corner immersed in a novel when you should be sitting at the center table expressing yourself.”

“I could never do that.” She argued.

“Why? You can either attempt to hide behind the label of fag hag, which is what you will perceived as you continue to pursue my fiancé; or you can develop your personality score with another geek who is into Jordan. And don’t go getting back in the shell thing again, there are geeks and there are geeks. Whichever mold you choose to fit is up to you.”

“You’ve pretty much got me nailed down.” Then she looked up at Jared. “You could’ve just told me you had a fiancé, I would’ve backed off.”

“I tried to several times and you wouldn’t believe me. I don’t mean to be cruel with you, but when a guy tells you they’re gay it usually means they are. Not that they might be.”

“So I guess I’ll just go crawl under a rock somewhere and die of embarrassment.” She said trying to get out of the booth.

 

“Now comes step number two. Jensen looked around the common area and saw Sandy sitting with Soph. He looked at her and nodded. She and Soph clasped hands warmly and she started back to the table. Jensen stood up giving up his seat to her and he sat to the outside of the booth. “Sera Gambles meet Sandy McCoy. Sandy is a sister over with the Theta’s she is also a master in reconstructive psyche.”

 

“You give me way too much credit. Okay Sera, we can work together and I can probably get you at least three possible dates lined up for Jensen and Jared’s wedding or not.” Sandy said looking at her critically.

“I feel like a mare being looked over at auction.” She said.

“Close to it. We’ve got a little work ahead of us, but I think I can get you taken care of, if you want my help.” Sandy told her.

“When do we start?” Sera asked.

“Good choice. We start today after your last class. I expect to see you in the waiting room of the Theta’s house no later than 5:30. You can tell me now why it is your mission in life to try and hang yourself off a gay guy’s shoulder? Granted Jared is a stud. Quit with the blush, you are. But he told you numerous times he was gay.”

“Well I thought I could turn him.” She said sulkily.

“That’s your first problem, not all gay men, in fact, I would hasten to say that ALL gay men have no intention of turning. It’s not a phase one goes through.” Sandy said firmly. “No matter what you hear to the contrary. Most gay men and women for that matter are born queer. It’s just that simple and honey, I’ll tell you up front the gay community looks down with utter contempt on fag hags so take it that it is out of the goodness of Jared’s heart that he even decided to help you out and believe me he had to do some talking and bribing to get me in on the deal.”

“Well why don’t you just leave me alone if you despise me so much?” She asked Jared. 

“Because I still believe there is a beautiful person hidden under all the fakery that’s been pumped into you over the years by media and other fag hags.”

“Which brings me to the second point, are there a group of you on this campus and do you meet regularly.”

“We have coffee hours now and then.” 

“You’re not going to them anymore. They are poisoning your mind and helping to create this self-loathing that’s made you feel like you’re some kind of pariah. Like I said 5:30 Theta house, I’m breaking a lot of lesbian laws by doing this but I’m actually going to attempt to help you and then help you get a date to the wedding. But you’ve gotta make the first steps. And yeah, I’ll tell you straight up we’re going to go through some extreme measures to get your confidence back. So again 5:30. Be there.”

 

Sandy nudged Jensen who slid out of his place to let her out. “It’s been interesting.” Sandy said smiling as she slid out of the booth and kissed Jensen on the cheek doing the same to Jared. “Later peeps.” And she was gone. 

Sera sat there looking after her for a moment and then shook her head in wonder. 

“Is she always so straight-forward?” Sera asked.

Jared laughed as he got up and slid in next to Jensen. “Honey consider this one of her mild tongue lashings. To quote, she’s got a tongue that clip a hedge.”

“This is quite extreme, why would she even consider helping?” Sera said.

“Because I asked and because she likes a challenge. By the way, that 5:30 appointment, be there on time, a couple of minutes early if you can arrange it. Try to converse with the other girls. You don’t have to carry on extended conversations but polite conversation is one of the first things she’ll have you doing.”

 

Jared and Jensen the nodded and stood to leave her. They had one parting shot, “Sit in the center of the room from now on, even invite yourself to a table. You’re going to have a lot of homework with her so get used to it. If you were tenacious enough to try and poach my fiancé this long you can hold out to strike gold and get a date from someone who’s interested in you as a person.”

 

Jared grabbed Jensen’s arm, “We got class in a half hour, let’s grab a bite okay?”

“Yeah something we can eat on the way.” Jensen said 

While they were in line at the Subway kiosk, Jared leaned in. “Do you think you were a little rough with her?”

Jensen shot him a look. “Jay you’ve been her target she to be faced with the facts head on and hard. If it were a little much for her, waayh, let her put on her big girl trousers and get on with it.” He looked at Jared firmly though. “I’m not about to give in and give up.” He said possessively grabbing Jared’s arm. They got their drinks and sandwiches and headed out to the main quad between the buildings they had classes in. 

“Tune in your iPad today, I missed you yesterday.” Jensen said.

“You’ve been doing really great without the connection.” Jared said.

“Yeah, but I kinda like watching you.” Jensen told him.

“Kinky.” Jared slurred.

“You have no idea. No I’m doing better but there are still times that just catching a glimpse of you helps me.” Jensen told him.

 

They kissed and went to their respective classes, Jensen sliding in just as the Professor entered and got ready to take roll. Misha looked at Jensen a minute. 

“You okay?” He asked.

Jensen nodded, “Just a busy lunch hour, I’ll tell you about it tonight.” 

 

“Give me a hint?” Misha begged.

“Turned Sera Gamble over to Sandy for a makeover.” Jensen told him.

Misha snorted then bit down on his fist to keep from coming out with a donkey’s bray of laughter. When he finally got it under control he asked. “The fag hag, she’s gonna try to work magic on that!?”

“Jared felt sorry for her so we intervened. More later I promise.”

“I’m so coming over tonight for this.” 

 

“Mr. Collins! If you and Mr. Ackles are through with your conference perhaps you would turn your attention to the board.”

“Sorry, yes sir.” Jensen said feigning an interest. Misha nodded and blushed slightly.

The rest of the day fairly dragged for them, the two hour class seemed to turn into a four hour seminar. So that when Professor Jarrett nodded to them and said “Good Afternoon. Test tomorrow, chapters 15 and 16.”

 

“Shit!” Misha muttered loud enough for Jensen to hear. “There goes my plans for the evening.”

“Look, bring your material over we can study together and I’ll fill you in. We’ll even treat you to the deli.” Jensen said with a grin.

“I’ll be there.” 

 

Jensen left the building and found Jared waiting on his on the quad. “I was getting a little concerned.” He said.

“Oh I got held up by Misha, he wanted details on the Sera project. So I invited him over tonight, gotta study for a test anyway.”

“You do too?” Jared muttered.

“Deli tonight with some beer to study by I’ll even keep it down to a dull roar for ya.”

“Good, Prof Smithers is hammering us this semester.”

 

They hurried through traffic and made it home in plenty of time to go for an afternoon run to get some kinks out of tired muscles. They were just making it to the apartment when they noticed that Misha was nursing a beer at the deli. He saw them coming up and dropped his tip on the table and followed them in. 

 

“Make yourself comfortable Mish, we’re grabbing a shower first.” 

“Okay, grab one with ya?” He joked.

“Sorry low hung, but room for two in the shower and me and my fiancé called dibs.” Jared joked.

“Spoil sport!” Misha joked turning on some music. He went ahead and opened his brokerage book and started reading. Fifteen minutes later Jared and Jensen were drying off and went into the bedroom where they pulled on their clean boxers and the clothing they were in school in. Jared came in and cut the radio off. 

 

“Sorry Misha, but I’ve got a helluva a piece to play tomorrow and I need to practice. Misha shrugged.

“I can study to about anything.” Misha said with a grin. He and Jensen sat together on the sofa and started going over the chapters while Jared too his cello to the opposite side of the room to work on. On the downbeat Jensen cringed slightly and knew that Jared was going to have his work cut out for him. It was a semi-complicated piece for cello and violin. He was playing his part and Jensen knew and felt for him as he scaled through the notes that seemed to run in a sequence, but occasionally ran into one another.

 

There was a pause around 6:00 when Jared laid his bow down and looked at the others as he wiped his brow. “Dinner time.” He said firmly. The other two jumped up without preamble and together they went downstairs to the deli. Mildred came over and saw Misha with her ‘boys’ and smiled. “Now that I know he’s a friend of yours I won’t be so worried.” She took her order pad from her apron pocket. 

 

Misha grinned. “How are your Reuben’s?” He asked.

“They will make your taste buds cry out for more. Rufus has a secret way with them that makes them outstanding.” She bragged. 

“He really does.” Jared confirmed. They placed their orders and sat back, in a moment there were beers in front of them. 

“So more about this charity case.” Misha said smiling.

“She’s not really a charity case.” Jared started.

“I still don’t appreciate her stalking you!” Jensen said firmly.

“She wasn’t stalking.” Jared said.

“If you say so. Anyway we met with her today in the student center and got her set up with Sandy to give her a makeover and try to get to the root of her obsession with trying to convert homo’s to hetero’s.”

“Oh no!” Misha said laughing lightly. “She’s gonna have her work cut out for her. Sera came after me as soon as she found out I was a fag. I finally had to get the PM to issue an order for her to stay away.” 

“So it wasn’t just me…” Jared started.

“You don’t think…” Jensen started.

“She’s on a mission from God?” Misha finished.

“Oh hell, Sandy’s got her work cut out for her.” Jared said quietly.

 

“So what was that cat scratching I heard while we were going over the Ethics of the SEC?” Misha asked politely.

“That was Nani by Johow. It’s not a complicated piece as I have played before but I’ll be dueting with a bassist and I’ve never played with this particular musician before.” Jared said.

“Then shouldn’t you both be practicing?” Jensen asked.

“I would but he’s allergic to working with gay men. He made that plain from day one. Then he told me he would learn his pieces while I worked on mine. We would present the piece but we would not practice together.”

“And Longford agreed with that?!” Jensen said astonished. 

“He said he would critique each instrument and go from there, and then he said that he wanted to have Chuck, the homophobe, in for counseling. So I don’t know what’s going to happen.” Jared sighed, “I’m working on the piece now preparing to present it as a solo piece if necessary.”

“That’s just wrong on so many levels.” Misha said then he switched topics again making Jensen and Jared a bit dizzy. “How’s wedding plans coming?”

“Better. I’m not wigging out as much as I did, I feel better, we got the invitations back from the printer last month so they’ve gone out to those we were sending invites to. The rest is open territory.”

“Good, because I was told to tell you by the Christian himself that you will be at a party this weekend. And he said prepare to be hung over. So I’ll skip the Zoloft for a day or two prior to be sure it doesn’t interfere.” Jensen said with a grin.

“Should you be self-medicating like that?” Misha asked concerned.

“NO he shouldn’t and we have talked about this but I’m making no headway with him.” Jared said tiredly.

“I promise, I’ll be fine. I’ll have my handsome prince there to rescue the fair damsel if he fucks up.” Jensen said. “Don’t worry Jay, it’s only for a couple of days. I promise to go back on it Tuesday.” Jensen told him.

“Yes, you will if I have to make you take it personally.” Jared said fundamentally upset. “Jen…” 

“Hey no lover spats over dinner. Happiness should abound.” Misha said smiling.

“It would be easier if your partner would do what his doctor told him to do.” Jared said upset.

“I don’t have a partner.” Misha reminded them.

“You do Leon.” Jensen pointed out.

“Not anymore, he dropped out, his dad talked him into coming to work at the firm with him.” Misha noted.

“No! Oh shit Misha, I’m sorry. You got anybody on taps yet?” Jared asked.

“Working on Andy over at the Alpha’s we’re gonna hook up at the party Saturday.” 

Jensen reached over and grabbed Misha’s hands and grinned. Jared did the same. 

 

The next day was a small disaster. In the middle of their first class Jensen had a brief episode that was very mild but one which got the professor’s attention as well as the students around them. It took them a few minutes but eventually Jared got him settled and helped him through the embarrassment. Lunch went fairly well, a freshly made up Sera came over and asked to sit with them. They were surprised at her look. It was totally different and somehow appealing. 

 

“You like?” She asked hoping for approval.

“So far so good,” Jensen acknowledged then he saw someone he was about to help out as well walk in with his lunch tray. Jensen stood whistled and got the boys attention and waved him over.

“What are you doing?” Sera asked.

“Hush and watch.” 

“Uh Hi Jared, J-Jensen. Uh what’s up?” The boy asked nervously looking approvingly at Sera.

“Trey Parker, Sera Gamble, Sera, this is Trey he is a computer major. Sera brightened considerably. 

“Really, so am I, well I’m trying to be. I’m in Prof. Cantrell’s Networking and WAN class first off.” 

Trey brightened and stepped around to her side of the table. “Really, I got him next class. We’ve got a test on the CISCO routers coming up and I’m sort of nervous about that.”

“Oh no, been there and so done that.” She said warming up. Trey and Sera continued to converse ignoring Jared and Jensen which was just fine in their books. In the seeming moment of peace for Jensen his cell phone rang. He pulled it out and checked caller ID then answered instantly.

 

“Hi mom!” He said suitably surprised as was Jared who heard him.

“Hey baby, just wanted to let you know your dad’s not going to be able to get away until Tuesday of next week so I’ll be a little late getting in. Donna and I have already talked with the florist and got the candelabras reserved and set to set them up Friday afternoon as well as them mounting the pew markers and altar flowers. We’ve talked with the Altar Guild of the church and they’re going to come in and help set up for Saturday. Have you got music set up?” She asked.

 

“String quartet and Jazz ensemble both will be performing. I thought you didn’t want candelabras?” Jensen said over the din in the student center. 

“Donna and I talked about it and decided it wouldn’t look too stark and would add some natural lighting up there. By the way we got the boutonniere’s picked out and made up for you two and the cake will be delivered Saturday morning and set up in the parish hall. I don’t think I’ve left anything out.” Sherri said breathlessly. 

“Sounds like you’re doing great!” Jensen answered. 

“Oh your dad and Jerry want to take you and some of your fraternity buddies out for a stag party.”

“We can do that at the apartment!” Jensen argued.

“That’s what I told him but he mentioned something about strippers, I don’t know the details and I’m not sure I want to know.” She laughed.

“Anything we’re forgetting?” Jensen asked concerned. 

“Everything’s set. This is going to be a spectacular event. We’ve even got with a photographer the church recommended and have her set up to come in and film the wedding, and shoot wedding pictures. We’ve checked the forecast and it’s supposed to be a lovely day.”

“Excellent, we’ve got reservations set up for Saturday through Thursday at a bed and breakfast in the Sonoma Valley, as place called The Gables Inn in Santa Rosa. They’re cutting us a special deal if me and Jared play one evening. So we’ve had to go out and spend a little this week and traded up my little Honda to one of the Honda Elements. That way we can get luggage and our instruments in without a problem.”

“Oh I’m so excited.” Sherri bubbled.

“You and me both mom.” Jensen said.

“Okay, I’ll let you go for now, we’ll see you Tuesday evening. We’re coming in on and 8:30 flight.” 

“We’ll be there.” Jensen confirmed and they said their goodbyes.

 

Jensen turned and with his mouth to the shell of Jared’s ear told him the base of what the conversation was about and what was said. Jared nodded approvingly and looked at Jensen. 

 

Trey and Sera are deeply involved in a study their class is doing so let’s beat it.” He suggested. They made their goodbyes and left meeting again in a quiet alcove. “How are you doing really?” Jared asked.

“Thank God for iPads.” Was all that Jensen would say as they split up for their classes. 

 

Jensen sat nervously in his last class of the day, with Misha rubbing his neck concerned for the cold sweat he felt. Then Jared’s iPad seemed to be moving. And the camera followed Jared progression as he walked to the center of the ampitheatre where the musicians met, sitting down he took his cello against himself gently and loving, the bassist refused to show which would count against the bassist they both knew. Then he saw Jared playing and he relaxed into the moment and as their professor passed out tests he watched Jared performing an act of musical love with his cello that he felt on his body. 

 

“Mr. Ackles?” The professor said quietly. 

“Oh I’m sorry sir.” 

“No problem, it’s test time please turn off your iPad.” The professor asked quietly and Jensen did with some reservations. He worked his way through the examination toiling over certain parts and breezing through others. Finally he finished and handed in his work. He then turned his iPad back on and got an image of a confused and somewhat flustered Jared and then his partner saw his face and relaxed. He was just concerned for Jensen’s sake. They bustled through the afternoon traffic in silence and quickly got into their apartment where clothing was discarded as they stood naked by their bed, aroused in ways they’d rarely experienced. 

Jensen was barely prepared when Jared entered him. There was little foreplay today just the desperate need to begin with. Jared thrust gently at first the Jensen angled his hips and pulled him forward by his asscheeks.

Taking as a ‘yes I wanna be fucked right now’, Jared began to thrust faster both of them sweating now in the afternoon heat, and both in that heat exploding in a mind numbing orgasm. There were of course seconds, thirds, and fourths. Each slower and more languid until at last they were making love in the slowest mode relaxing in to the moment and feeling every inch of their lover’s body. They finally got up from the bed gathered the washcloths they’d used to clean up with in between romps. And turned on the air conditioning, then they headed for a shower but not before their buzzer alerted them someone was at the base of the stairs.

 

“Yeah?” Jared said into the intercom.

“Christian here, got a minute?” 

“Yeah, give me a sec.” He buzzed them up and opened the door and went into the bathroom with Jensen. 

 

“Hey jungle boy where you be?” Christian said loudly.

“Jungle boy my ass! We’re grabbing a quick shower.” Jensen said.

“Good thing, glad you got the AC on it smells like a zoo in here.” Harry said.

“Oh, hey Harry, keep Christian busy, put him in the round room and tell him to pee in the corner.” Jared shouted back as they climbed into the shower. The shower was relatively short by their standards with promises of makeup show sex to come up as soon as the boys were gone. They got out and drying off Jared stuck his head around the curtain divider. “So what brings you two fine young studs out this afternoon?”

 

Christian blushed at little at the provocation and the evident situation they nearly caught them in. “Wrapping up plans for the blowout this weekend.” Harry said.

“Didn’t know there were any plans to wrap up.” Jensen said stepping out and pulling on a pair of comfortable jeans over his smiley face boxers. He was followed Jared who was doing the same with Spongebob Squarepants boxers. Both Harry and Christian dissolved into laughter. “Jared sweetie, I think them boys are making fun of our lingerie.” Jensen minced. Jared swatted his ass to meet his hand. “Boy scout.” Jensen reminded him. 

“That’s okay I can always do this.” Jared said copping a handful of Jensen’s crotch.

“Not in front of us you can’t!” Christian yelped glaring. “Come on you two this is serious, I mean the Delt’s have never done a blowout party for a gay couple before. What do we do?”

 

Jared and Jensen shared a look and then shrugging Jensen said, “Same thing you would do for a straight couple only if you’re going to have strippers there you have male and female strippers.” 

“Okay, but just the idea of seeing a guy up there shaking his junk…” Christian started.

“Will look like me at our last in-house kegger.” Misha said plainly.

“Shut up, I got retina burns from that image originally, don’t put me on anti-depressants!!” Christian blared.

“You, Kane!” Misha said flipping him off. “I really don’t see what your gripe is after all that was part of some of our guys initiation and some of them you had to go in with and watch as well.”

“Yeah well it’s not someone I’ve shared a house with for three years either.” Christian shot back.

“Boys…” Jensen said in a stoic tone. “We do a keg with pizza with male and female strippers working a runway that the newbies have to set up.” 

“I like the sound of that.” Christian nodded. 

“Short, sweet, to the point.” Misha said, and we’ll have plenty of surprises still for ya Jen and Jay. Too bad the in-laws won’t be in town they could come too!”

“Oh NO!” Jared insisted. “I will subject my dad to a lot of things but a frat house party thrown by the Delts, ain’t gonna happen.” 

“Why not?” Misha asked.

“He’d be with you on the planning stages and God knows where it would end up besides I can recall a couple of kegs we did at the Omegas…”

“Kegs of what, iced tea!?” Christian shot.

“Guinness, I’ll have you know.” Jared shot back. We’re a co-ed house, there was all kinds of shit going on, the most vivid of which was Pat Toole, that was his name, don’t blame me, was chasing, caught and stripped the threw Katy McNab into the pool, then he shucked out of his pants and joined her.”

Christian waved that down. “What a bunch of lightweights, try pizza Frisbee and hula scoop that one was always done to the frosh.”

“Hula scoop?” Jared asked. “Do I want to know?”

“You got to keep a hula hoop going in nothing but a pair of jockeys with a scoop of ice cream down the from. And you gotta keep the hoop going until the ice cream melts. If you drop the hoop the ice cream is scooped and fed to the victim.” Christian said.

 

Jensen brightened and chimed. “I remember being put through that one. It was vanilla ice cream and I kept the hoop going until it not only had melted but run down both my legs.”

Jared was just taking a sip of beer and that and choked on it as he proceeded to laugh himself silly. Jensen pounded on his back while he coughed it up. “DAMN IT! WARN SOMEBODY BEFORE YOU TELL SOMETHING LIKE THAT!” Then Jared waited until Christian and Misha took a mutual pull off their beers. “Of course, If I’d been there I’d licked it off you!”

Now it was Christian and Misha to raise the coughing level a notch as Christian shot some beer out through his nostrils.

 

“I’M GONNA GET YOU FOR THAT ONE, PADALECKI!” Christian roared. 

“Oh you’re into leather! Didn’t think you were that kinky.” Jared mused laughing as Christian launched himself at Jared. They wrestled each other to the floor with Misha and Jensen cheering them on. The sight was rather funny as it end up that Christian managed to get Jared pinned. Then in a moment of triumph raised his hands over his yeah and yelped. His yelp went of a notch when Jared managed to reach up and score a double with a hard pinch on Christian’s ass and copping a feel as he leapt up.

“HEY, HEY, HEY! Cut that shit out!” Christian said blushing furiously.

“Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.” Jared said still prone on the concrete floor. He grinned up at Jensen. “Does the loser get anything?” He asked.

“A blowjob after we’re alone.” Jensen popped back quickly.

“TMI dude.” Christian called.

 

They drank their way through a few more beers with Jensen stopping at his third. Then he looked up at Christian. “You bring the beer next time.” 

“I can do that.” Christian said wobbly. Then he started to stand and landed back on his ass. “Beer snuck up on me.” 

“Come on Prince Charming, let me get you home.” Misha said not quite as wasted. 

“Hey seriously dudes, why don’t you spend the night here. We got a queen sized inflatable mattress!!” Jensen insisted. 

“Thanks dude but I don’t…”

“I’sleep on t’couch for I’d share a marress with Collin, he’s mo-lest my ass.”

Misha grinned. “I’d do a lot of things but I’m not drunk enough to try something with your hairy ass. We’ll grab a cab.” Misha said helping Jared stand Christian up. They got him carefully downstairs and found a cab cruising the block. Jared flagged it down. He passed the driver a ten. 

“Delta’s house on the campus, keep the change.”

“Thanks buddy.” The cabbie replied and they were off. That was when Jared turned slowly and made his way back up the stairs around to sit on the couch with Jensen.

“They’re safely off?” Jensen asked beerily.

“Yeah, got ‘em a cab. How about some water?” Jared said standing wobbly.

“Sounds good, thin down the beer in my system.” Jensen said with a sloshed grin.

“You are such a cheap date on Zoloft.” Jared said with a giggle as he came back over with two bottles of water. 

 

Jensen giggled in return and nodded, then promptly fell on his side on the couch softly snoring within moments. Jared set the bottled waters on the coffee table and proceeded to untie and pull off Jensen’s shoes and put his feet and legs up on the sofa. He then drained one bottle of water and drank through the next. He went over then and kissed Jensen who made a smacking lips movement before snoring again. Jared proceeded to undress and go to bed. The alarm went off at 6:30 thanks to Jared’s judicious setting even drunk. He woke and slowly rolled in bed, his head a little achy but not as bad as usual. Jensen was curled up in bed beside him fully dressed. He bent over and kissed him good morning. Jensen woke with a silly grin the looked around a minute.


	13. Chapter 13

“How’d I get to bed?” He asked.

“Search me. I left you asleep on the couch. You were passed out. They both got up they shared the toilet as they gave back to the City of California some beer that had been gut processed. After washing up they stepped out of the bathroom. Jensen looked at Jared, Jared spoke, “Go for a run now or after school?” He asked.

“Gonna be hot after school, let’s go ahead and add pleasure to the pain. They stripped and got into their running attire pulling on shoes then going through their stretching routine. They got downstairs and looked at Stockbroker Square. Then looked at their block. 

“Twice around our block?” Jensen asked.

“Yeah, sounds good to me.” They managed their run finishing as the Chiam’s were just getting opened up for the morning rush. They stopped for their morning ritual of two bottles of water and bagels with cream cheese. They traded news with the Chiam’s before going upstairs and there they both hit the shower hugging and rubbing on each other before soaping up. Afterwards they had their morning coffee and had an early buzzer.

 

“Yeah?” Jensen asked.

“Mish here. Gonna grab the car.”

“Want some coffee, got some fresh on.” Jensen told him.

“Please.” Misha asked as Jensen buzzed him in. 

 

A few moments later Misha was in the living room with them huddled over a morning cup. He looked a little worse for wear.

 

“How was Christian when you left?” Jensen asked.

“Snoring.” Misha said simply. “He’s got morning classes and I tried to wake his ass, no go.”

“Well he drank about twice what the rest of us had.” Jared notioned.

“Yeah, he was toasted.” Misha said with a grin. “How about you Jay?” 

“I was like the poster boy for AA over here, three beers in me and called it good. Me and Jen had three each that’s six, then your four is ten, plus eight that Chris drained. No wonder he’s sleeping in.” Jared laughed. 

 

They sat around chatting about the wedding then talk of the honeymoon, where they were going and what they were going to do and no they were not leaving the key to their place with either Misha or Christian. They were trusting not foolish, well not quite that foolish. Then Jared pulled out his laptop and keyed up the website for the bed and breakfast. 

 

“There’s a cottage on the grounds that you can book as well, that’s what we went for. Total privacy.” Jensen said.

“You’ve got privacy up here.” Misha said indicating the apartment. 

“We wanted our get away to be special. We’ve already been mapping out some of the days.” 

“No doubt started out, punctuated and ending with some sexual act or another?” Misha said with a leer.

“You know us too well.” Jared returned that with a grin. 

“Heh, if you were Native American your tribe name would be “fuck like rabbits.”

“Just proving the doctor wrong.” Jensen said quietly.

“Huh what’s that?” Misha asked catching it actually.

“Doc prescribed me Viagra just in case one of the side effects of Zoloft kicked in.”

“Oh, no power to the prick syndrome?” Misha asked.

“So far I’ve tried one pill, never again.”

 

Misha looked through one of the windows and noticing that it was getting late he rose and made his goodbyes, “Gotta go see if that lump is out of bed yet.” 

They laughed at that and waved goodbyes. Then Misha came running back up the stairs and gave each of them a hug pulling back his eyes shining. “You two are so lucky.” 

“You strike it lucky soon.” Jensen predicted.

“I hope so.” Then Misha turned and bolted not wanting to end up crying in the hallway. Jared pulled Jensen back inside.

“I hope that Alpha makes him happy.” Jensen said concerned.

“We could pay them a courtesy call.” Jared noted.

“Oh no, I’m not playing matchmaker, Misha is volatile enough as it is, I don’t want to add to it.” 

“True, all too true.” Then Jared sighed and looked around hugging Jensen silently.

Jensen wondered at his mood and pulled him over to the couch where they sat and sipped at the remains of their coffee and just looked out the windows.

 

The weekend snuck up on them fast, they’d just finished their run and were starting on their shower when the phone rang. Jensen looked at the caller id and sat down on the bed. 

“Hey Chris, what up?”

“Party starts at noon and goes until the beer’s gone.” 

“We’re grabbing a shower now and then breakfast then we’ll be out to help set up.”

“Sounds like a plan, see you in a bit.” Christian said hanging up.

 

Jensen joined Jared in the shower and they took a long intimate shower together, using nearly all the hot water but luxuriating in not only washing each other down but taking care of each other gently. They’d finished, dried and dressed then walked out to the kitchen and prepared a full breakfast each of them playing off the other in the kitchen. Stealing kisses and just enjoying the morning. They got to the Delt’s house at 10:30 and helped clear up the back garden some, making sure there was enough space, and then setting up the two long tables finally gracing them with three kegs of beer. One of which was an O’Doul’s.

“I owe you for that one, Chris.” Jensen said spying the keg.

“Figured we drank enough of your beer it’s time to get some payback.” Christian said as he and Harry had the frosh set up the eats table. There were chips and sandwiches from the deli. Christian was expecting around 30 or 40 to show up but planned for 60. The first guests started arriving on foot. One a linebacker of a guy, 6’2”, wide shouldered, narrow hips, all muscle. He sauntered up to Misha and grabbed him in a headlock. Jared was bracing to rush him when Jensen grabbed his arm. The headlock was broken and then Misha and the linebacker proceeded playful punching at each other. Finally Jared and Jensen walked over.

 

“Misha?” Jensen asked.

“Oh hi guys, Andy, these are two of my best friends in at least all of LA. Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles meet Andy Zane.” They shook hands. Andy perked up and shook hands with some vigour.

“Saw your performance at the ball, goddamn but you gave me a hardon just watching you two play.” 

“Thank you, that’s one of the nicest compliments we got yet.” Jared said.

“Oh so that accounts for why you were so randy that evening.” Misha joked with Andy.

Andy blushed a little. Jared grinned at him. “Andy, you may as well get used to that. The blush factor around here today is likely to climb in the high double digits.”

 

Then the boom box was brought out and music started at a respectable level. Jared looked at Christian. He shouted over. “That volume’s a little tame for you Chris.”

“Neighbours.” He said shrugging. 

“That’s okay we brought the babies so if you wants some live later on we can give you some Yo-yo Ma or maybe The Doors.” Jensen yelled.

“Credence, can you do some Credence Clearwater?” Sandy shouted from the other side of the yard.

“Sure. We’ll take requests if we know it we’ll play it. And if we don’t we’ll fake it.” Jared grinned.

 

The weather for the day was looking very nice and the temperature was warming up to be a hot afternoon. Tubs of iced down bottles were brought out and soon the merrymaking began with Jared and Jensen as the focus. There was one area where there was a huge tub that was slowly being filled with wrapped packages. Jensen on his fifth or sixth O’Doul’s, and more than a little glad that Christian thought enough to include that in the mix of potables for the party. There was plenty of dance music going on and Jared and Jensen were bumping and grinding with nearly everyone there. The funniest was a bit of dirty dancing between Jensen and Danneel. 

 

Jared stood at the sidelines at one point and was approached by Genevieve. “So what’s running around in that habitrail you call a brain?” She asked.

“Just glad to see Jensen so happy.” Jared said slightly wistful.

“You didn’t think he would be?” She asked.

“I never know what to think when he’s exposed to crowds, there are some issues he has to deal with still but he’s actually happy out there and I wouldn’t spoil that for him for nothing in the world.”

“You are SO in love with him.” Gen said with a grin.

“Yep.” Jared answered simply. Then he allowed himself to be pulled onto green to dance with Gen. Finally the group was spread out in a huge circle as a man and woman danced their way into the mix. They were an agile couple, performing high, very high kicks and tumbling, some standing somersaults and finally they both landed on the green in a split. The group that this was just some more of the entertainment, they had no idea just how far and close they were to the truth.

 

The team sprang to their feet and clothing started flying the strippers were there! Christian was standing next to Jensen. “OH man she makes my tongue hard.” He told Jensen who grinned at him watching the show then the couple came over to Jared and Jensen and pulled them to the center of the circle and pushed them down to the ground so that they were sitting cross legged on the ground. The couple, then essentially pole danced around the couple without the benefit of the pole. It was a highly erotic exhibition especially when the thongs went flying and the males semi-hard dick flapped inches from Jensen’s face. He was blushing furiously then turned and grabbed Jared and started making out with him while the couple danced over them with the crowd cheering them on. That was just the start soon people there who were couples were all on the lawn making out. Jared took a breath in time to see Andy straddling Misha who looked like he was in heaven.

 

The riot of flesh went on for about a half hour when the guys and gals decided either a dip in the pool or more beer was called for. As Jared and Jensen moved to sit up the dancing couple walked over still naked and smiling.

“Congrats on the upcoming wedding.” The guy said.

“Yeah, hope you two have as much fun as us.” She said possessively grabbing her husband’s arm. 

Jensen laughed, you don’t have to worry about me trying to take your hubby. Showtime Jared.” Jensen said with a wicked grin. Jared unzipped as his now hard ten inches flopped out. The couples eyes grew in amazement.

 

“Now you could make some serious bucks dancing with a hammer handle like that.” The lady said.

“He just dances for me.” Jensen said grabbing Jared in a hug.

“Lucky you!” The couple said and laughed. “Beer sounds real good right now. “

“Doesn’t it just. Put away junior there Jay, I’ll take care of you real good tonight, I promise.”

“Oh God is it another one of those, I ‘m going to walk funny the next day, nights?” Jared said.

“You’ll be doing good to walk.” Jensen said with a leer. After about 15 minutes they were joined by Misha and Andy with Misha sporting a little drop of come on his left cheek. Jared and Jensen laughed.

“What?” Misha asked innocently.

“You’re still wearing some of Andy.” Jensen pointed out and pointed to his own left cheek. Andy looked at him a moment and swabbed his cheek with his tongue.

“Damn I taste good.” Andy said cheekily. Getting them all laughing 

 

The party continued for about three more hours with the beer finally playing out about 5:00 people slowly started trickling back towards the house where there was an insistent move to get Jared and Jacen to the tub that was full of wrapped packages.

 

“Time to open your gifts.” Christian told them.

“CHRIS!” Jensen bellowed. “That was entirely unnecessary.” 

“Shut up and open.” Christian told him so he and Jared were brought chairs to sit next to the tub then Chad and Harry worked at passing gifts to the couple to open. There were plenty of packs of condoms. A couple of boxes of maxi-pads and tampons. Then there came the nice coffee maker, and the toaster, a box of matched dinnerware and a box of flatware. There were more useful gifts mixed in with the play gifts. They finally finished and laughing stood and formally thanked everyone for their generosity. The party was starting to break up, everyone gravitating to the garden or the pool or leaving. They waved Misha and Andy over.

“Hey personal question time.” Jensen asked nervously.

“Sure shoot.” Misha said.

“Do you guys use these? I mean seriously do you?” He said holding up some boxes of condoms.

Andy was blushing again. “Yeah we do most of the time.” He said.

“Good, take some of these.” Jared whispered holding out boxes of regular and magnum sized condoms. “I’m assuming you’re like me and take a magnum?” He asked Andy. 

The linebacker grinned and gulped and nodded sheepishly. 

“Don’t be embarrassed about it just help us out and take some of them.” Jared said Christian came over and saw what they were doing and laughed out.

“That’s right you and Jenny go bareback now don’t you?” He said.

“Uh yeah, what about you?” Jared said holding out a pack.

“Nope, I still wear a raincoat to bed.” Christian said.

“Good take some of these. We’ll never use them. We might keep a few boxes for like when the odd friend drops in for a threeway.”

“Shaddup moose.” Christian told Jared who grinned. Then with the help of a couple of freshmen they got the luggage shell on the roof of the Element. Jensen and Jared then got their instruments out and went into the backyard where after tuning up started playing to the remaining group who’d thinned down by half the original size. There were cell phone cameras that came out to record the event as they played through some of their favourite top pop tunes. It was growing dark when they wrapped up the impromptu jam session and loaded up instruments. 

 

“You two are gonna become like…strangers?” Christian asked.

“Dude we’re getting married, we’re not dying.” Jared said. “Of course we’ll be around. You’ll be sick of the sight of us.”

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen.” Christian said in a rare moment showing his heart.

Jensen looked around and seeing they were pretty much the only ones in the back garden, he bent over and kissed Christian on the cheek.

“Huh!” Christian said shocked and slightly embarrassed.

“Thanks for caring.” Jensen told him.

“We’re going to go now, gotta get the place ready for the folks to see in a couple of days.” Jared said with a grin. And they were off. As Jared drove Jensen looked out the window pensively drumming his fingers on his knee.

 

“Penny for your thoughts.” Jared said kindly.

Jensen turned and looked at him. “We’ve graduated from our houses.” He said almost tearfully.

“That’s not a bad thing.” Jared told him.

“I know just feels weird.” Jensen said as they pulled up in front of their apartment. They unloaded their instruments first then unloaded the luggage shell. They then spent the rest of the evening putting matching china in their cabinets and taking the mismatched out. Then setting up their flatware drawer with matching forks and spoons and such. The new coffee maker was sitting gleaming on the countertop, the old one boxed up and all their odds and ends taken down to the car to drop off at the local Homeless Shelter. Then they went slowly back up the stairs and into their apartment where they shared an embrace and kiss. 

 

“I had a wonderful day.” Jensen said with a grin.

“Same here, don’t even feel guilty for only drink four real beers.” Jared said with a smile. 

“Did you notice something?” Jensen asked almost shyly.

“What’s that.” 

“I didn’t freak today.”

“No you didn’t.” Jared said grinning. “I’m so proud for you.” Jared said grabbing him in a hug and kiss. They settled on the couch hugging and kissing not wantonly or with great lust, just kissing and loving without clothing flying, at least for now. They had a quiet dinner downstairs in the deli and then a stroll around their area and back to the apartment.

 

They were at church for services the next day and announced at the peace to all and sundry that they were getting married there next Saturday and all were welcome to attend. There was a more than polite round of applause. Then Fr. Jim stepped forward into the aisle and walked back to where they were standing. He motioned them out into the aisle. They stepped out puzzled. 

 

“Some couples I have a difficult time counseling. These two were naturals for a couple, they fit like a glove and hand. It will my esteemed privilege to be the one to bind them in wedlock and I’ll be damned proud to do it.” He said looking at them then giving each of them a hug. “Walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself for us, an offering and sacrifice to God.” Fr. Jim said as the choir stood to sing their anthem.

 

After the service, Jared and Jensen settled for another leisurely walk then making their way back they stopped in the deli for a beer. Rufus served this smiling. “Saw you two earlier, walking, if you were any more in love I’d worry about you.” He said with a grin. “The next round is on me and the missus. By the way got something new we want to try, would you like to sample?” 

 

“Uh yeah, sure.” Jensen said looking at Jared who nodded. About ten minutes later he came back with what looked like a normal omelet. They each took a fork and dug in, it was stuffed with what looked like a mixture of herbs and on the first bite the wonderful flavours of several herbs seemed to explode to them. 

 

Jensen looked at Rufus who was looking at them hesitantly. Jensen gladly gave it two thumbs up especially when the next bite was not only herbs but sun dried tomatoes. 

 

“Oh you have got a winner here man. Oh this is delicious.” Jared bragged. Rufus beamed in pleasure.

“I’m so glad you like it. I’ve been experimenting with adding some less schmaltzy stuff to the menu, something healthier I guess. Different for certain.” Rufus said.

“Oh you got it going with this one.” Jensen told him. “Don’t change a, well maybe add a little goat cheese to it. It’d still be kosher and good for you.” Jensen said with a smile.

“Thanks guys!” Rufus said preening slightly.

 

They went up to the apartment and got comfortable. “You know, we really should look into using the weight room in a gym or joining a spa.” Jensen said.

“You’re saying I’m getting fat?” Jared said dangerously calm.

“No, I’m saying that we’ve been living the good life recently and we need to do more than jog. I know I do.” Jensen said.

 

“Ok so let’s check out a nearby spa and fitness center and see what they have to offer us.” Jared told him. 

“I was hoping you’d say something like that. Beside you can show off that beautiful body of yours and make all the other queers jealous cause they know you’re taken.” Jensen said grabbing and holding his arm.

“Possessive much?!” Jared said with a smile.

“You rather we have one of those open relationships where we can fuck around without reprisal?” Jensen said teasing.

“No, I prefer you all to myself.” Jared said still smiling.

 

They decided to start that afternoon so dressing out in workout gear they took a quick local tour and found an LA Fitness Center. They were given the tour by a buff looking young lady who highlighted each feature and they actually found they liked it. So that marked that one as a possibility on their list. The next stop was Gold’s Gym it was a truly macho outfitted center with plenty of testosterone to go around, they crossed that one off, finally was a spa and fitness center which seemed more geared towards women than for men. So they went back to LA Fitness and asked for a trial run to see what they thought. They were given a 24 hour window to try out the gym. The first place Jensen went was the aerobics room where an enthusiastic instructor was just getting started. Jensen grabbed a place and joined in. Fifteen minutes later that was over and he felt good about it. Jared had decided to check out the gym so that was where Jensen found him he’d also worked up a pretty good sweat. The decided to check out the sauna facilities and found a room with three hot tubs, plus steam rooms. They decided to use the hot tubs so stripping down and tucking their clothing into a locker they immediately sunk up to their neck in the hot water. All the tension seemed to melt away in this. Afterwards they showered to cool down and dried off then dressed. They found the manager and sat down with her to look over the membership plans. They were extremely affordable for them and actually the workout center was about as far of a jog for them as around the Stockholders square from their apartment.

 

That decision made they signed a contract with the gym and left for the day satisfied that they were doing something healthy for their bodies. Jensen would probably be found in the aerobic classes as his focus was on tone not bulk while Jared was just the opposite, he didn’t mind the bulk and he knew that Jensen surely didn’t mind it.

 

Their next adventure was to get a bicycle for Jensen. Jared’s was sedately parked on the far side of the apartment and actually looked like it belonged there. So they started cycle hunting and found one store in a strip mall that specialized in not so much competition cycles as comfort and long distance riding. Jensen tried out several brands and finally found one within his budget that was comfortable and durable.

 

“Where are we going to ride?” He asked. 

“You’ll find out.” Jared said mysteriously. So Jensen got the cycle and followed Jared back to the apartment on it. He was grinning happily when he pulled up.

“It rides like a dream. Oh we are going to have some fun with this.” He said happily. Taking his cycle up he parked it next to Jared’s. It was getting late in the day so they thought they would call it an early day and have a wine, cheese, and bread picnic in their living room. 

 

Tuesday found them anxiously waiting news of their parents arrival, they were therefore surprised when the buzzer rang and it was Alan and Sherri. Jensen buzzed them in quickly and there were glad hugs and kisses to be dispensed. 

 

“We booked back at that Mariott we were in, while you were in hospital Jensen.” Sherri told him.

Jensen flinched. “Oh don’t look that way, it’s not that far of a drive and the rooms are nice. Jerry and Donna booked a room on the same floor with us and they should be in this evening.”

 

“I see you kept most of the art, Good choices and they make the apartment look that much more homey.” Alan said as he looked around. That was when Jensen broke out a couple of bottles of wine and soon they were all sitting in the living room in a cozy semi-circle.

 

“We’re thinking about adding a loveseat to the mix. Giving even more seating.” Jensen pointed out. 

“Have you been shopping yet?” Alan asked.

“We’ve been to a couple of places and we’re torn between three of them as they all fit the décor.” Jared said.

“Let’s go see, God knows, we got time.” Sherri mentioned. 

So they piled into the Honda and went to Rooms To Go first and they saw their first choice. Then they went to another distributor and saw what they had to offer they looked over two selections they made there. The one they were looking at was a rolled and tucked tapestry with bright colours to living up an area. Sherri nodded.

 

“Hon I don’t want to tell you what to do but that tapestry, that would look great with the mix you have in there now.” 

“That’s what we were thinking. Jared opinion please?” Jensen asked.

“I’ve always favoured that one.” Alan said fine let find a salesperson.

“DAD!” Jensen jumped in but Alan help up his hand. Finally a salegirl just passed by and saw them. 

 

“Jesse” Alan said reading her name tag. “I’d like to purchase this love seat.”

“Just the loveseat sir?” She asked politely.

Alan looked at Sherri and then at the boys. “You boys are just starting out so…how much for the suite?” 

She looked a moment while Jared held Jensen back from physically attacking his father.

“$1799 sir.”

“Delivery to 1325B Landfair Avenue?” 

“Oh, to the college district, that’s free sir.”

“Good ring it up and set up for delivery.” 

“DAD!” Jensen tried again.

Alan turned and used his hard stare which seemed to freeze Jensen and instantly convert him to a ten year old again. “Yes sir.” He said dejectedly.

“However, I have to agree sir that’s a bit of an expensive gift.”

“We been looking and trying to come up with something for you and that living room suite you got is…well.” Sherri paused trying to come up with a polite word for it. “It’s dated.”

Jesse reappeared with a clipboard and took the numbers for the pieces. 

“End tables, coffee table and lamps too.” Alan said resolutely.

“Yes sir!” She said smiling and got busy then looked at them, if you’ll come with me please.” She took them through the displays to an oak desk display which was actually a sales area. There she started typing in numbers on her keyboard, and then looked at them.

 

“This will be going to?” she asked. 

“Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki.” He said spelling name parts for her.

“Ok I have the address. A telephone number where you can be reached?”

“Uh…” Jensen fumbled for a moment and gave her his cell phone number. 

“Okay let me see what we can do about delivery. Oh would like to have existing furniture hauled off?” 

“Please” Jared said. 

“Oh my, we’re in luck I have a truck leaving in an hour, we can load you up and have it delivered by 3:30.” She said looking at her clock.

“Okay, great!” Jensen said stunned. 

“Total including tax, $2099.” Alan passed her his credit card which she ran and passed back. In a moment the printer was printing a sales invoice. Alan signed for the credit card purchase and then stood. 

“Thank you Mr. Ackles, it’s be a privilege serving you today. “

“Thank you Jesse.”

“Let go grab something from the deli and wait for your furniture to arrive.” Alan said calmly.

“Yes sir.” Jensen said still down. 

In the car driving through the district back towards the apartment Jared spared a glance at Jensen. Then Alan spoke up from the back seat. 

“Okay, who killed your puppy?” Alan asked Jensen.

“Nobody, I was just…” Jensen started.

“You wanted to get it yourself, well happy wedding, now you can repay me by marrying this unsuspecting doof and prove me entirely wrong.” Alan said pinched.

“My but we’re sarcastic today wake up on the floor?” Jensen said desultorily. 

“Nope, just trying to help out my two boys.” Alan said with a grin, “Now chill out will you, the worst is over with.”

 

They got parked several places back from normal to give the truck room to move in. Then after ordering lunch from the deli they went upstairs to the apartment and set around the dinette and had their lunch. 3:43 came around when there was a buzz downstairs. Jared was closest.

“Yeah.”

“Jernigan’s Furniture.”

“Come on up.” He then turned and opened the door and within 30 minutes the new suite was in and the old except for one of the easy chairs was gone. It took an artist’s eye but in moments the furniture was arranged and the room lit with the sun illuminating the windows and the soft glow of the table lamps. Then Sherri and Jensen spent the next hour positioning the easels with their artwork. 

 

“What do you think?” Sherri asked Jared and Alan who wisely were the hell out of the way. Jared looked it over then shook his head. Jensen sighed.

“That one needs to come in just a little bit.” He said pointing to Sherri.

“You really think so?” She asked.

“Yeah it’s crowding that corner.” Jared said.

So Sherri shifted it a bit and Jared nodded, “Perfect, now leave them alone.” Jared ordered heading into the kitchen. “Alan, beer?” 

 

“Definitely.” Alan said joining him in the kitchen. Jensen and Sherri backed up to the far corner and looked at it critically. Then nodded, Sherri was starting to think there was something about gay men and interior decorating that said “match me!”

 

The buzzer sounded again and Alan who was closest answered the intercom. 

 

“Yes?”

“It’s Jerry and Donna.” Jerry had said. Alan buzzed them in and held the door open. They came up looking excessively tired.

“Mom, Dad!” Jared said running over. “You look like hell! What happened!” 

“Fucking kid…” Jerry started 

“Language!” Donna scolded Jerry glared at her. “A FUCKING kid three rows back with an ear infection. Parents ought to be made to ride on the wing who pull shit like that.”

“Come in and sit down, I’ll get you a beer, mom, you want wine or a beer?”

“Wine would be nice, thank you dear.” Then they gasped at the living room. “Wow this looks so snazzy artsy fartsy!” Donna chortled. “It looks great!”

“You really think so?” Sherri asked pained. 

“It looks fine, you did good.” Donna said rushing over to hug Sherri. “It’s so good to see y’all.”

 

Soon everyone was holding either a beer or stemmed glass of chilled wine. Jerry looked around grinning the looked in the back corner where lone dinette table sat. Shaking his head he looked at Donna at one point caught her attention. They got together and had a whispered consultation. Then a decision was reached.

 

“Well, tomorrow we go out and hunt you up a dining room table arrangement.” Jerry said.

“DAD!” Jared started.

“Now you know how I felt!” Jensen muttered.

“It’s only fair. That’ll be our wedding gift to you.” Jerry said decisively. Pulled in an extra chair from the dinette and soon everyone was seated.

“Oh good, you got a sofa that me with my knees, I can get out of.” Donna said with a grin.

“Your knees my hips, but I know what you’re talking about. These are good sitting pieces.” Sherri told her.

 

Jensen and Jared looked at each other with some dismay and settled back. Sherri and Donna sitting on the love seat going over design ideas and plans while Alan and Jerry were laying plans at the sofa, Jensen and Jared were basically left to their own designs and were feeling a little put out at being left out. So nodding Jensen joined his mom and Donna while Jared pulled a seat up to butt into the men’s conversation. They gave him a look of surprise. 

 

“This is OUR wedding YOU’RE discussing.” Jared said more than a touch defensively. The two men had the good grace to look sheepish for a moment. 

“Yeah son, sorry about that, here’s what we were discussing, clubs we can go to are …”

 

Two hours later they broke for supper in which they ate well, airline food being what it is. Then they returned to the apartment where they finished their plotting. It was decided Christian was going to stand in as Best Man while Misha would stand in on Jensen’s side as Master of Honour. They were to get formal tuxedoes as well. Thankfully they’d been fitted and had theirs in reserve as of the previous week. 

 

Over on Jensen’s side he was going through some last minute design details and the knit-picking stuff. It was decided to have the florist there the day before to set up, they would come in that morning and do the parish hall. Then there was the issue about music, they’d argued the previous month and it was finally decided that Jared could get a group from the Omega’s come in and present a programme of music from the sedate to the swing era. The whole time Jared was arguing with father and mother both over the expenses incurred on both sides. 

 

“If it were Meagan I could understand from her you get grandchildren, from us.”

“We can still get grandchildren, there is such a thing as in vitro fertilization and surrogate mothers.” Jerry had said.

“Dad, Jen and I haven’t even discussed this yet, we just want to get through college.” Jared debated.

“And you will and you could always adopt. Jared you’re looking at this as if it has fixed boundaries. It doesn’t , your marriage is every bit as viable as a hetero couple marrying.” Jerry had sighed deeply with this debate. “Son give us a chance to do right by you for once.”

“Dad, you’ve always been there and always done right.” Jared said in a rare moment.

“Sometimes I worry when I see Jeff’s marriage and how that turned out. Both of them.” Jerry said.

“Don’t worry dad.” Jared had tried to tell him.


	14. Chapter 14

It was not late in the evening when the folks decided to go but they were exhausted from their plane trip so a few extra hours would do them good. 

 

Jerry looked at Jared firmly. “You get out of classes at 3:00, we’ll be by at 4:30 to go dinette shopping. Alan has already spoken to me about this Jernigan’s place so we’ll stop there first.”

“Okay Dad, whatever will make you and mom happy.” Jared said defeated.

“We want you to be happy too.” Jerry told him.

“I know dad, it’s just a bit overwhelming.” Jared said tiredly.

Jerry nodded and then he and Donna left followed closely by Alan and Sherri. When Jared heard the door shut downstairs he closed their door and leaned against it. Jensen was standing back looking at the living room suite.

 

“Don’t get me wrong babe, I love, I really do, but isn’t this a bit over the top?” He asked.

“They’re the parents of the grooms. This is their one chance to spoil us. I say grit our teeth, bite our tongue settle back and let em.” Jared said quietly.

They straightened up the living room a touch. “You know Christian and the guys are never going to let us live this down.”

“They’ve met the folks, they’ll understand.” Jared told him.

“No, they’ll think we are getting high toned, out of their class range. We’re going to have to do everything in our power to make them feel more welcome.” Jensen said at last.

“We may as well go ahead and break it to them. It’s only 6:30.” Jared said.

“Yeah.” Jensen said tiredly. “I’ll make a beer run just in case.”

“Thanks babe.” They kissed and Jensen was out the door.

 

Jared dialed Christian’s number and waited and it finally rolled over into voice mail. He waited for the beep then, “Hey doof, it’s Jared, come over when you get this message if it’s not too late.”

 

He hung up the phone and started when he heard the buzzer, he walked over and pushed the button for the intercom.

 

“Yeah?”

“Hey it’s Chris and Harry, you got a minute?” 

“Come on up.” He said buzzing them in. He had the door open when they got to the landing. They entered and stopped and looked at the new furniture.

“Not our idea man, wedding gift from Alan and Sherri.” Jared said tiredly.

“Uh I take it it’s a good thing?” Harry asked concerned. 

“Come on in.” He waved them in and Christian sat a case of beer in the kitchen. “For all of yours we had drunk.” He said opening it and grabbing a can. 

“Thanks dude, it wasn’t necessary but thanks.” Jared said helping himself and passing one to Harry. They stepped into the living room and sat down. 

“What really bugging you, man?” Harry asked.

“We were afraid you’d think we were looking down our nose at y’all.” Jared said nervously.

“Dude, we’re not that dense, glad the folks sprung for some nice stuff. It’ll make partying a lot more comfortable.” Christian said. “OH by the way, Chad’s laid up.”

“What happened to Chad?” Jared asked.

“Got in a mix up with some dudes outside of Tangles last night.” Christian told him. The apartment door opened and Jensen entered carrying a case of Yuengling’s. He sat it in the fridge along with the other case which he helped himself to.

“Hi guys we were just going to call to invite you over!” Jensen said.

“Surprise! Great minds thinking alike and all that shit. Anyway back to Chad. He got drunk and was coming out of the bar when he was jumped by a couple of local whack jobs. A cruiser was going by or it would really got messy. Anyway all three of them are in jail, but according to the arresting officer that took Chad in to sleep it off. He’s more bruised than anything.” Harry told them. 

“Yeah looks like he went three rounds with Sugar Ray Leonard.” Christian said laughing slightly. “Anyway he’s gonna miss the wedding.” 

“Oh man, no!” Jared said.

“Yep, he’s got a matching set of shiners and he’s embarrassed as hell, especially when it turns out the guys who assaulted him were wanted on a gay bashing charge!” Christian could barely keep the laughter in.

“The straighten man on campus aside from you and he gets busted up by some gay bashers. Oh dude, that’s gotta suck.”

“Wait a minute I got an idea.” Jensen said and then dialed a number on his cell.

“Sandy, Hi, Jensen hear.”

“Hey babe, what’s up?”

“Listen you’re still the best hand at makeup on campus aren’t you?” Jensen asked.

“Uh Yeah!” Can you do a makeup job on a delt with two shiners to hide the evidence but not make it look like he’s wear anything?” Jensen asked.

“Ooo a challenge. Sound good and yeah I’m probably the only Theta that is that good.”

“Good, Chad got in a mix up the other night and came out with two black eyes.” Jared told her.

“How bad?” She asked. “Any swelling?”

“Swelling?” He asked Harry and Christian.

“He’s pretty puffy right now.” Christian told him.

“Puffy.” Jensen answered.

“Ice packs both eyes for 12 hours in 15 minute intervals and I’ll see what I got to work with.” Sandy told him.

“You’re a lifesaver Sands.”

“You owe me Jens.”

“Love you too.” Jensen said disconnecting the call.

 

He turned then to Christian and Harry and settled back. “Sandy’s going to come over tomorrow evening and take a look at him. Have him keep eye packs on for now. How about the rest of him, much soreness?”

“About what you’d expect of someone who’d been bash, no broken ribs, but some extensive bruising on his chest.” Christian said then he looked slightly sheepish. “That’s not the worst.”

“What’s the worst?” Jared asked.

“Caught most of the jabs in his bread basket, but a couple of shots got to his crotch.” Harry told them.

“Ouch. Tell me the cops knew a little about first aid?” Jared asked.

“Very little, he wasn’t bleeding and his was breathing okay, they tossed him in the drunk tank.”

“THE HELL!” Jared roared. Jared went into the bedroom and grabbed his camera and came back. “We’re going over there now.”

“Jay…”Christian started but the other threw him a glare that would shave glass.

“We’re going.” Christian said throwing up his hands.

“What are we going to do?” Jensen asked.

“We’re going to take some nudie pictures, but not for Facebook.” Jared said. Sitting down for a moment and popping the SD card out of his camera replacing it with a fresh one. 

 

They got over to the Delta’s house in short order and found Chad trying to get comfortable. That was when they all came in and Jared whirled on Harry, Christian and Jensen. “A few minutes alone please?”

They pulled Chad’s bedroom door up and left him and the hapless victim alone. 

 

“They nailed you good didn’t they?” Jared asked sitting on his bedside.

“Feel like I been hammered.” Chad said.

“Chad I know it’s been a helluva night and day for you, but man, can I take some pictures?” Jared asked.

“Dude, I’m not in the mood for this.” Chad said grinding his teeth.

“Evidence Chad, You’re evidence and you should’ve been processed and we’re, what I’m need to do with your permission is to take some pictures to show the DA. Depending on what she says they may send a forensic photographer around. This shitbags need to be made to pay.”

“Dude, your wedding!” He groaned.

“Will still happen. Please.” 

 

Chad nodded weakly and let Jared pull back the covers as far as the bruising went. He worked quickly and deftly and snapped off several different angles of his arms and legs, chest and abs. Then he helped him roll to his side and snapped several of his back. Easing him back down he noticed something off. The pouch of his jockey’s was larger than a normal man’s.

 

“How do you feel downstairs?” Jared asked.

“Like I been messed up man.” Chad said quietly tears forming in the corners of his eyes. 

“I’m not pre-med, but even I can tell something is wrong. Let me help you out of those, if you’re injured you really shouldn’t have them on.”

“Dude.” Chad said groaning.

“I’m not going to grope you or anything, just take a quick look at your junk and we’ll make a determination from there okay?” Groaning Chad lifted his hips and lowered his jockeys to reveal a scrotum that was swollen and stretched. “I’m gonna take a picture that won’t be seen by anyone but me and the DA.”

“Swear!?” Chad said grimly

“Swear dude.” Grimly Jared snapped two angles of his scrotal sac and then covered him back up. “Don’t pull your jockey’s up man, you’re going to ER.”

“What! No man!” Chad protested weakly.

“Dude, I’m doing what them jackleg motherfuckers who arrested you last night should’ve done. You need medical attention now!” Jared said with urgency.

Chad sighed and nodded an okay, tears streaming now. There was a tap at the door. Jared got up and walked over cracking the door. Barney, a delt from the second floor was drunk and started to barge in. Jared, enraged, bodily lifted him and threw him into the hallway. Christian, Harry and Jensen came running. 

“Jay, we were in the kitchen getting some ice packs together what…BARNEY! THAT’S IT, PACK YOUR SHIT MAN, YOU’RE OUT TONIGHT!!!” 

Jensen stepped up to the doorjamb. Jared still enraged, said stiffly “Call the campus emergency room, tell them we have an assault case here they need to take in for examination.” Jensen had his cell phone out and dialing. It was several minutes but soon enough the sound of an ambulance could be heard. 

“Christian, you and me with him for now, okay?” 

“How bad?” Christian asked. I’m not pre-med man, I don’t know, but the contusions are the main problem. I think one of the shots to the nuts ruptured something in there. And he’s burning up with fever, just from the brief touches I had with him.” Soon there was an ambulance pulled up in front of the house. The EMT’s came in and were directed to Chad’s room. They took a look, broke out an ice pack, started an IV, and made him ready to transport. 

 

“Mr. Murray have you been able to urinate today?” One of them asked.

He shook his head pain evident. The medics broke out a foley’s catheter and inserted the tip into his ureter. Immediate the catchment bag started filling. What distressed Jensen from where he was standing was that he could see some blood in the urine. There was another siren sound that cut off immediately outside and two cops from the campus police came in and saw what was going on. They immediately got out of the way. All too quickly Chad was loaded up for transport to the ER. 

“Crime lab is rolling they will meet you at the Emergency room. Don’t toss that catheter bag and drain it’s contents into a container. That’s evidence. Okay some of you gentlemen want fill me in on what’s gone down?” The policeman asked.

“You’ll need to check the LAPD blotter for last night, but Chad Murray was assaulted in front of Tangles at or around 11:00 p.m. the assailants are in custody in town.”

“Officers will you need us?” Jared asked. 

“No, you can go.” Jared and Jensen took those words from the cop with more than a little relief. They got over to the ER just as the Crime lab folk were arriving. He saw one person with a camera. Running up he caught his attention. “Here, you’ll need these as well.”

“You’ve already taken some shots?” Jared was asked.

“Before I knew the extent of his injuries.” Jared told him. The Crime lab investigator pulled out an evidence bindle from his pocket and opened it carefully Mr….”

“Padalecki, Jared Padalecki.” 

“Mr. Padalecki is there anywhere you need to be in the next hour or so?” He was asked by this investigator whose nametag was H. Tennant. 

“We can wait.” Jared told them. They were escorted to the waiting room. There Jared and Jensen shared a common look of angst. It was over two hours of waiting before Christian arrived at the scene. 

 

“Sorry I’m late guys, there was the cop who wanted as full a statement as I could give, then their photographer took pictures of the room, I had Harry make sure Barney got gone, then he took care of most of the fallout with the other guys. What a fucked up night.” He said dropping in a seat next to them.

 

“Any relatives of Chad Murray out here?” The desk nurse asked. Chad jumped up and pulled a sheet of paper from the satchel he’d come in with. 

“I have a durable Power of Attorney.” He said passing her the paperwork, she made a copy and gave it back to him. 

“Come with me please.” She said. Then she buzzed him through while another nurse took the desk.

 

Jared and Jensen shared a significant look. “House rules, the head of the house will always have a Durable Power of Attorney in their possession in the event of an emergency.”

“Not a bad plan.” Jared said.

 

Another hour passed and Christian came out looking very, very worried. He just motioned at them and they started manoeuvering corridors until at last they arrived at Surgery waiting. Across the hall was a room marked Chapel. They entered that room first. Christian went to one knee in a full genuflection said a Hail Mary and then a brief private prayer then he took a pew motioning for them to sit with him. 

 

“One of the blows those cats got in ruptured his abdominal wall, his scotum was filled with intestine. They’re in surgery now to correct that. He was in near kidney failure. They caught it just in time. But he’s still not out of the woods, they had an antibiotic already started on him and painkillers in his system. Another hour and he’d be dead.” Christian said his voice ragged. He looked at Jared and Jensen a moment. “I’ve been fucking around all day when I should’ve called an ambulance sooner.”

 

“You didn’t know!” Jensen started. 

“It’s my job to know, I’m supposed to know what’s going on in my own house.”

“Well we have been kind of distracted lately.” Jared noted. 

“FUCKING DAMN!” He shouted and buried his head in his hand miserably. Jared was sitting next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders while Jensen in front of him gripping his wrists hard. He knew the way Christian vented his frustration and he wanted to keep self-immolation down to an acceptable level. 

 

The door opened and Jensen looked around him in annoyance only to see it was Fr. Jim. “I thought I heard something sacreligious going on.” Then he saw it was Jared, Jensen and Christian. He rushed up. I was here to see someone else, but…what the hell’s the matter son?” 

 

Christian voice was rough as raw whiskey now, as he fought to keep back the tears. “Chad got in a bashing incident he’s in surgery, near kidney failure and a serious rupture in the abdominal wall, bunch of bruises. Chad was going to try to tough it out and not tell anyone that’s when we stepped in.” Jensen moved over to let Fr. Jim have access to him. 

The older man took hold of Christian’s head with both hands and lifted him to look at him. “None of this is your fault. You couldn’t have seen this coming any more than anyone else. So don’t go beating yourself up over it.”

Christian grabbed Fr. Jim in a hug and barked out hard sobs, after several minutes. He pulled back looking mega-embarrassed. 

“Chris, it’s cool.” Jared told him. “It’s just us.” 

 

Then he grabbed Jared in a rough hug and hugged Jensen. “Why don’t we check on him?” Jared suggested. They all stood and walked out of the chapel into the hall where surgery waiting was. Christian walked up to the desk that was staffed by a young nurse.

 

“Checking Chad Murray.” He asked. She tapped an entry in on the screen. 

“Oh yes, he should be in recovery in about a half hour, they’re just finishing up with him. According to the information the damage was minor.” She said kindly. Christian let his breath out in a whoosh and grabbed the counter. The nurse looked at him concerned. 

“Lot of issues that surround this.” Jared said with a weak smile. “Come on buddy, let’s go cop a squat.”

“You going to be okay Christian?” Fr. Jim asked.

“Yes sir, thanks.” He rasped.

“I still expect to see you in a pew Sunday.” Fr. Jim said with a smile. Christian weakly smiled back as they went to the waiting area.

Christian thought for a minute and showed the power of attorney to the desk nurse. “When he is in recovery would you let me know please?” He asked. She read the paper over quickly and nodded.

“Not a problem Mr. Kane.” She said again with the kind face.

Christian let himself be let to the waiting area where they got a seat for Christian. Jared walked over to the soda machine and bought for all of them. Bringing the cans back over. “Hey it’s not beer, but it’s the best I can do on short notice.”

“Thanks bro.” Christian told him taking the can and popping the top he sat back then and considered things for a long moment. He took out his cell phone and cleared his throat placing a call.

“Chris!?” Harry said at the connection.

“Hey man, he just got out of surgery, rupture and near kidney failure. Dumbass would really admit to be shitkicked and I didn’t insist he go to the hospital. Have you called his folks?”

“Not yet wanted to wait and hear from you.” Harry told him.

“Okay, go ahead and call them, explain to them that he’s all right, he just had some minor surgery done and he’s being treated for an infection. Tell them he’s at the UCLA Medical Center, give them my cell phone number, and let them know we’ll call them as soon as we have a room number. You got control of the house.”

“Till you get back.” Harry insisted.

“No man, I should’ve caught this earlier. The House is yours.” Christian said defiantly.

“We’re not going to discuss this right now.” Harry told him.

“Later then.” Christian clipped.

“Later dude. Hang tough man.” Harry said.

“Only way, thanks Harry.”

“Shut it.” Harry said with a smile in his voice and disconnected the call.

 

An hour later the nurse at the desk came around. “Christian? Chad is being move to room 131 if you’d like to go there and wait. He should be in shortly.” 

“Thank you.” Christian said relieved.

They speed walked to the room to find it empty thus far but knew it wouldn’t be that way for long. In moments two orderlies wheeled in a bed and IV tree and set up for operation. His face was looking better for which they were grateful then they noticed he was still hooked up to the catheter. They knew he’d love that bit of info when he woke. It was less than an hour later that the doctor that treated him came in. 

“I’m Dr. Potter, no jokes please,” He started with a smile. “Your friend there was very lucky we’ve got him on antibiotics and should have the kidney problem cleared up in a few days, the surgery will heal on its on schedule, we put an ice pack on the surgical site to speed healing. Take it off in about 10 minutes, he’s to have that on for 15 minutes at a time for right now. But he is not to do any heavy lifting of more than five pounds for six weeks. I’ll have my nurse make a follow up appointment for him, do you have any questions?” 

 

“Uh, no, no doc.” Christian could only say. 

“I take it his parents have been notified?” Dr. Potter asked.

“Yeah, I had my assistant do that a few minutes ago.” The doctor dug out his wallet and passed Christian a card, “This has my office and cell on it, tell the parents to call me as soon as possible and I’ll fill them in.” 

“Thanks doc, appreciate that.” Christian said.

“No problem, that’s why I’m here.” Then he stepped to the bed and looked at Chad. “Poor kid, looks like he came out on the wrong end of a Donnybrook.”

“Pardon?” Christian asked.

“Sorry about that, I may be an old fart but sometimes I let slip some names which might not make sense, like Donnybrook or haymaker, or just a bad damn fight.”

“Oh gotcha.” Christian said numbly. 

“Well, I will see you in the morning probably.” Dr. Potter said leaving. 

Jared and Jensen pulled closer to the bed with Christian. They shared a look then Jensen steered Christian to a chair and pushed him into it. Christian just looked up at them silent for a moment. Then he sighed. Finally they heard a moan behind them. They all turned their attention to the bed where Chad was starting to wake from the drugs. He looked around a moment and croaked.

“Water?”

“They left you some ice to suck on for now.” Christian said spoon-feeding him some of the chips. 

“Sorry for fucking things up like this.” He said.

“I don’t think you’d planned to get on the wrong end of a fight.” Jared said with a smile. “I turned that memory card from my camera over to the CSI goons, hopefully they’ll be able to make use of some the pics.”

“Hope so too. I want those bastards to pay for this shit.” Chad groaned. “God I gotta piss.” 

“May as well relax and let it run, you’re hooked to a bag.” Jensen said.

Chad flushed scarlet. “Didn’t mean for my junk to turn front page news.” He laughed.

“It didn’t the only folks who’ve seen the damage is me the EMT’s and the doc’s staff.” Jared joked lamely.

“Great that’s enough to embarrass me.” He said. Then he looked at Jared and Jensen. “Don’t you have a wedding to be taking care of?” 

“Everything’s done except for the stag party our dads are going to take us out on tomorrow night.” Jared noted.

“Don’t go to Tangles.” Chad joked.

“Don’t worry, straight bar, gay guys, the only hets in the group will our dads and maybe a few from the Omega’s and Delta’s.” Jensen told him smiling.

“Sorry I won’t be there with you.” Chad said.

“We’ll tip a dancer for you.” Jensen said.

“Make sure he’s not hung as good as me.” Chad said smiling.

“Dude, there’s some strippers that’d have a long way to go to beat that meat.” Jared quipped which got them all laughing.

“Sorry for being a party pooper guys, but I’m getting sleepy again.” He said yawning.

“Go to sleep for pities sake.” Jared said.

Christian looked at them. “Hey, I’m going to spend the night so why don’t you two go and enjoy what’s left of the evening.”

Jensen touched Christian’s cheek affectionably and oddly he didn’t jerk away. “We’ll drink one for the both of you.”

“Thanks guys.” Chad said smiling. 

Jared touched his arm, “You get better, we’ll see you tomorrow.”

Chad smiled at them and they left the room. In the parking lot that sat quietly in the Honda. “Well, we’re down by one groomsman.” Jensen said. “It that terribly impolitic of me to say.”

“Cold, but truthful. And it’s too late to replace him because the invitations have already been printed.” Jared noted.

“We can still honour him in the bulletin. It’s only fair, I mean, I’m sure he didn’t plan this.” Jensen said.

“Yeah but he should’ve known that Tangles has male strippers on three nights a week, them dumbasses that attacked him didn’t know which night to hit him up on.” Jared replied. 

 

They drove across town to a bar they favoured and bought a round of tequila shots and beer chasers. There were very few out tonight Jensen noticed looking at around a dozen in the little bar. They held the shots up in a silent salute and knocked them back with a slug of beer to follow. After a couple more shots they drove back to the apartment where they made their way in without any problems. 

In the apartment they sat together on their comfy new sofa in a huddle. The hour was very late and they knew that in just a little while the folks would come calling to go furniture shopping again. So with all good plans they fell asleep together on the sofa.


	15. Chapter 15

Jared woke later to the sound of his cell phone going off. 

 

“Hello?” He said sleepily.

“Jared, catch you sleeping in?” Jerry said.

“No dad, hang on are you downstairs?” 

“Just a minute I’ll buzz you in.” 

He got up disturbing and waking Jensen. Then Jensen checked his watch and his eyes popped open.

“Holy shit we slept through the whole day, and owww, I’m sore.” Jensen said and he climbed up off the sofa and started some coffee.

Jared let the parents in and explained what had happened the night before, they commiserated and seeing the dark circles under Jared’s eyes attempted to call off the furniture expedition.

 

“No ma, this is just what we need. Some kind of diversion for a while.” Jared said as he toasted some bagels. “Can I fix you something?” He asked.

“No, that’s all right son, we’re okay, did they catch the guys that did this?”

“Yeah, nailed them right at the scene, they ‘re in jail cooling their heels.” Jared told him.

 

Jared and Jensen excused themselves long enough to shave and splash some water on their faces. Then they were ready to face the world. Their folks reluctantly went along with them on this so they made their first stop and probably only stop at Jernigan’s. They walked into the showroom and the young lady that was there the previous day came up. 

 

“Well this is a nice surprise, what can we do for you today?” 

“Dining room setups?” Jerry asked, “What can you recommend for the furniture they got the other day.” 

“Oh I know of three that would be great, are you looking for something with a statement to it?” She asked.

“Nothing over the top, something casual.” Jared said.

“Oh good. Right this way.” She led them around the showroom floor to the elevator where they got out on the third floor to a room filled with dining room sets. She walked directly to one that was done in a blonde oak with a matching china cabinet and sideboard unit. “This may be a touch light but with that particular fabric you got the other day I think it would do quite well.” The units were not ultramodern but had a flair to them that spoke of casual elegance.

“It’s beautiful.” Jensen said. Then looked around. “But do you have this setup in a bit darker wood?” He asked.

She turned them around and they were facing a mirrored version in Cherry. “Not quite that dark.” Jensen managed. She smiled undeterred and they walked a bit and she showed them a suite in maple. “Now we’re talking. Oh I like this, this has a modern European theme to it. What do you think Jay?” 

“I think that it’s perfect.” He said with a smile. 

“If that’s what you want. How soon are we talking on delivery?” Donna asked.

The young lady held up a finger and pulled out a walkie talkie and keyed it. “Delivery.”

“Here.” Came the reply. 

“How long before you go back out?” She asked.

“We’re about to leave you got something else to go on the truck?” The driver asked.

“Give me about ten minutes, I’m writing up dining room suite 41009.”

“Okay we’ll pull it and load it. Holler back at me with the delivery information.”

 

So they went back downstairs to her office desk where they conducted another sale of merchandise. “You’re in luck. That suite is going into our discontinued line so it’s automatically 30% off. “ She keyed her computer and finally got to the invoice. “The total will be $1499.95.” Jerry passed her his credit card and she ran it and in moments called the delivery man and gave him delivery information as well as shot a copy of the order to the driver’s tablet computer. “Is there anything else I can interest you in today?” She asked.

“I think that’s got it! We appreciate your help.” Donna said with a smile.

“Thank you! We appreciate your continued business with us.” She said as they walked to the door. “Come again if you can think of something else.” She said with a smile.

“Thanks!” Jared called as they left. 

“They’ll have that around in about a couple of hours so why don’t we grab a bite at the deli and wait for them?” Jerry suggested.

“Sure dad that’d be great.” Jared said distractedly. In a few minutes they were parked outside the apartment. Jerry leaned up from the back seat. “Okay son, I know when something’s eating at you and I can tell your preoccupied. Thinking about your friend?” He asked.

“Yeah, here we are planning the happiest day of our lives when someone close to us nearly got killed the other night.” Jared said morosely.

“Honey,” Donna started. “You can’t plan these things out perfectly. Something’s going to always happen, the good thing is that he is alive, and you can take him a big piece of the wedding cake.” She finished happily. That seemed to brighten Jared’s mood considerably. 

“We can, can’t we?!” He said. Later in the apartment the furniture people were just assembling their new dining room when Jared looked at Jensen soulfully. “Would you be mad if I suggested something?” 

“If you want to push the date of the wedding up some, I’ll kill you.” Jensen joked.

“No, nothing that drastic. I want all the groomsmen to carry a yellow rose in honour of Chad.” He said carefully.

“That’s a wonderful idea!!” Jensen said, Donna brightened as well. 

“That a good way of honouring your friend without stealing the thunder from y’all.” She said smiling. There was a knock at the door and a call of “Yoo hoo anybody home?”

Jensen spun and saw Alan and Sherri in the door. “Come on in we were just discussing a change in wedding plans.”

“Are you sure that’s wise at this late of a date?” Sherri asked.

“We’re going to have the groomsmen carry a single yellow rose in with them to honor one of the groomsmen who was gay bashed the other night.” Jensen said.

Sherri thought about that a moment and looked at Donna who nodded and Sherri smiled. “Let’s do it.” She said and then their eyes fell on the new dining room suite. The maple seemed to fit perfectly with the living room furniture.

The door buzzer sounded. Jared ran over and looked down the stairs. “I got two packages here for a Jared and Jensen Ackles-Padalecki.

“Oh shoot.” Sherri said, “I was hoping that would come after the wedding. Oh well nothing for it.” 

Jared wave him up. The two large cartons were brought up. “Sign please.” Jared did and the deliveryman left, as did the furniture deliverymen. Jared took out a pocket knife and sliced through the tape opening one box, packed inside was a set of bone china, rather half the set, the rest was in the other box. It was a service for eight of bone white china, with a band of gold Celtic knot work. Jared and Jensen looked at it in wonder and their faces transformed into utter delight. Taking the two boxes through to the dining room they unpacked and filled the china cabinet with dinner plates, salad/dessert plates, saucers, cups, soup bowls. Then came the opening of the other box and a platter was in it along with a soup tureen that was inscribed with their names. Plus some metallic gold charger plates and a care package for the two of them of homemade goodies. There were great hugs and kisses to go round the room for this. 

 

“I’m about parched, beer or wine folks?” Jensen said walking around to the kitchen. He got the orders for drinks in and gladly filled them everyone was standing around now in solid creature comfort. The emptied boxes with their bubble wrap were by the door to go down for recycle. The china cabinet was set and table gleamed warm in the light.

 

“Oh God but I love you.” Jensen told Jared.

“Same here.” Jared replied as they kissed.

“Getting a little warm in here to you?” Sherri asked Donna. 

“You could light a roman candle off those two.” She replied.

That was when Sherri opened her purse and took out a gift box and gave to Jensen. “I got your size from Jared.” She said conspiratorially. Jensen carefully opened the velvet box to reveal a gold ring with a beautiful setting of Aquamarine. “The ring belonged to my father but I had the stone take out and this new stone mounted. So there you have it all in one piece. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.” 

 

“What’s the borrowed part?” Jensen asked choked up slightly. She pulled out a fine linen hankerchief.

“This is your fathers, he got it from his mother on his wedding day. Now you’re borrowing it until you have someone to pass it on to.” She said emotionally. There was no tension in the room just a great amount of joy.

“Oh it’s getting serious to heavy in here.” Jensen said turning around with embrace his mother in a hug.

The next hour was spent enjoying the day. Nightfall came with its usual immediacy as Alan and Sherri, Donna and Jerry gathered around for a hug before catching a cab back to their motel. In all too short of an order they were gone as Jared and Jensen stood in their wonderfully decorated new space. 

 

“You Jared, I appreciate all the stuff that our parents got us, but in the end, it’s all about you.” Jensen said with a smile.

“Not quite, you work into that equation as well so it’s all about us. Are you excited?” Jared asked.

“I nervous as a cat in a room of rocking chairs. I can do this though. We rehearse tomorrow then the day after we’re married, then honeymoon!” 

“Want to go over to see Chad?” Jared asked.

“Please?” Jensen replied.

“What’s the matter? And don’t say nothing.” Jared said.

Jensen looked around the apartment for a moment and then at Jared. “I love what the folks did, and I really appreciate it, but I kinda miss the old stuff.”

Jared nodded. “I know, I do too, but this made them happy, what we’re doing the day after tomorrow is for us.”

“Let’s get out of here before we end up doing something obscene on that new dining room table.” Jensen said with a grin.

 

At the hospital they found that Christian had left for a bit but Harry taking the watch. They went into the room and found Chad actually sitting up in bed. 

“Should you be rolled up that high?” Jensen asked.

“Don’t know, but it feels better than being stretched out like a prize goose. Hey the bag’s gone, I can pee on my own now.” Chad said with a grin.

“That’s great!” Jensen said meaning it. “How’s Christian doing?”

“Do you mean ‘is he still blaming himself’, yes he is and it’s driving me up a fucking wall. If it’s anybody’s fault it’s my own for not going to ER earlier. I was just being stubborn. Then when I saw my nuts I was scared, finally I couldn’t pee, and hell I couldn’t get out of bed.” Chad said berating himself. “I’m just sorry I can’t be in the wedding party.”

“We got that took care of man.” Jared said. He looked at Harry, “You and the Deltas and Omegas will process and get in place with a single yellow rose in your hands. We’ll process in and take our place and the show will start. The only thing is in the bulletin there’s a special blurb that says we are carrying the roses in honour of our friend.”

Harry smiled widely. “I like that idea, that way we still get some of Chad in the middle of this.”

“Afterwards the groomsmen will put the roses in a vase to come over here along with a chunk of wedding cake.” Jensen said.

Chad sat there dumbfounded. “Because I went out and got banged up you’re going to all this fuss.” 

“Because you nearly got killed, we are doing all this fuss, so get over it.” Jared said stubbornly.

“Do I get to kiss the bride?” Chad joked. Jensen who was standing close to him bent down and quickly kissed him. “I guess I do.” He said surprised earning a laugh from Harry and Jared. 

Christian came in at that point looking concerned and that was when Jared broke from the group, “Pardon us while we take a walk.”

“Thank you Jay.” Chad said gratefully.

 

In the hall Christian looked confused. “Let go grab a coffee.” Jared offered him.

“I just got here.” Christian said puzzled.

“Yeah and we need to talk.” Jared said. They walked in silence down to the cafeteria where they each got a hot cup, then found a table away from everyone else and sat down.

“Let me guess…this is where you sit me down and try to convince me this wasn’t my fault. Am I right?” Christian said smugly.

“No, this is I tell you straight up it wasn’t your fault.” Fr. Jim said coming in from behind. Christian gave Jared a look of being betrayed. “No, he didn’t set this up and it’s unworthy of you to think he would do that. “

“He was a member of my house…” Christian started.

“Who happened to be coming out of a bisexual club. Yes, I know all about Tangles and their strip shows. I might be a priest but I’m not castrated.” Fr. Jim said harshly sliding into the booth next to him. He gave the younger man time to process all the information. “Christian, Chris, you’re beating the dead horse to pulp with this. You need to shed this guilt and get on with it.”

“I want to Father, but it’s just not that easy.” Christian said choked up.

“You don’t want to make it easy, you’re liking this pity party you’re on.” Fr. Jim said harshly.

“I’m not, I don’t want to…you just don’t…” Tears were streaming down his cheeks now as he confronted his guilt head on and it was tearing him apart inside. Fr. Jim grabbed an arm around him, Jared grasped both of Christian’s hands and they him get it out of his system. It took him several choking sobs, and many tears to purge himself but he finally did get the worst of it out. He looked at Jared with that brotherly love they’d always shared. “I’ve been an ass haven’t I?” 

“Yes, unfortunately you have, you weren’t the Chris I know and I respect. You were a whole different person.” Jared told him. “Thank you for waking up.”

 

They sat there for several more minutes, then Fr. Jim looked at Christian and said, “Let’s go and show Chad the new and improved you.”

“Yes sir.” Christian said firmly as Fr. Jim slid out of the booth first, followed by Christian, then Jared stood, then took their coffees and made their way to Chad’s room. There was an animated discussion going on between Harry, Chad, and Jensen. “You ladies still gossiping?” Christian said coming in to join the group.

“Father Jim!” Chad said surprised. “Haven’t seen you in a while.” Chad commented.

“Well I don’t get on campus as much as I’d like to.” He responded. “How are you doing?” 

“Kidney’s are clearing up and my uh rupture is healing well, they’re not expecting any complications. I won’t be able to make it to the wedding though.”

“No, but I saw the bulletin and the blurb you boys,” indicating Jensen and Jared “want included. And I was told of the slight change to the service. I’ve got no problem with it. Shoot, considering the way it coulda gone you could be pushing up daisies right now.”

“That’s what I keep hearing. But I feel great now. Back still hurts some where they got some punches in there, and there rest of me is pretty banged up, but that’s why they made Tylenol with codeine.” Chad said happily.

Christian eyed him narrowly, “Bout damn time. You got a mess to clean up at the house and a court case to work through. May I also recommend a civil suit against them as well for damages?” 

“Thanks Chris, I’ll keep that in mind.” He eyed his friend for a moment then shifted in the bed a little. He reached down and pressed the call button.

 

“Yes?”

“May I have another ice pack please this one has melted.” Chris said.

“Sure, it’ll be just a moment.” The nurse responded.

“Thanks.” Chad said and leaned back in the bed. “Bring pictures of the wedding and reception?” 

“Well since you had the nerve to go mix it up three days before the wedding I guess we’ll have to arrange something.” Christian said firmly.

“Oh, I don’t know what you done but I like the new Chris!” Chad said with a smile. Chris almost smiled at that.

“Well there’s way too many people in here for Chad’s good so I’m going to skedaddle and check out the other patients I have here. Take care of yourself.” Fr. Jim said to Chad.

Chad smiled broadly. “Thanks for stopping by.” He said.

Harry left as well leaving Jared , Jensen and Christian with Chad. 

“Seriously Chad what the hell were you thinking about when you went to Tangles? You know that side of town and how it can be.” Christian asked him in seriousness.

“Sorry man, I went on the night when the ladies have the stage, there’s one there that I rather like, in fact, I like a lot.”

“Which translates to she gave you a blow job in a side booth.” Christian completed.

“Well, yeah we had some fun together.” Chad said with a grin. “Look, I know I’m just another John to her, but at least I’ll have the memories.” 

“Oh yeah, getting racked up like you were outside of the club, that’s real good memories.” Christian pointed out.

“Yeah that was kinda dumb, I got too loaded and shoulda called a cab instead of hanging on the chance one would stop by.” Chad admitted.

“Think next time! Take backup.” Christian advised strongly.

“Yes master.” Chad chirped.

“Bout time you learned your place you damn troublesome sub.” Christian said with a half-smile. “Well, since you like bi-clubs, and you like the leather community, I’ll have to introduce you to Lady Kristen.”

“Oh fuck no! I already heard about her. I’m brave, not stupid.” Chad stammered blushing. “Help me out here guys.” He said indicating Jared and Jensen.

“Why? You’re already doing such a great job at digging yourself in deep. Let see how much further you can go sweet thang.” Jensen said in a broad Texas twang.

“Enough playtime for one day, you need some rest. I’ll be around to make sure you’re getting it and I expect to see you getting rested.” Christian said stepping out of the room. They looked at Jared who shrugged. 

“He just got a wake up call from Fr. Jim.” Jared told them. 

Chad closed his eyes and sighed, his face relaxing, “Good.”


	16. Chapter 16

The next day was ultra-busy around the Padalecki and Ackles household as they prepared to be bombarded by family in their last minute efforts to take care of the minutiae, most of which had already been taken care of during the week. Finally it came down to rehearsal time, the hour they most feared. Jared and Jensen showed up at the church about an hour early and found their mothers busy with the altar guild finishing the touches to that while the fellowship team were getting tables setup and gathered round and dressed out in the Parish Hall. 

 

“Oh good there you are! We were starting to get worried.” Donna said rushing down with Sherri in close pursuit. “Considering what happened with this Chad Murray your fathers have put off the stag party for the rehearsal dinner.” 

In moments there were several fraternity brothers standing around as well. The organist arrived to practice as well. And finally Fr. Jim came in, he looked around calmly taking in the scene and nodding. “Everyone to your places please.” He called out. 

 

The rehearsal took over an hour as they ironed out some little trouble spots and got things like how to line up the groomsmen who would be in attendance. Then came Fr. Jim’s part of the service which was guiding Jensen and Jared through the guts of the actual ceremony, satisfied with the product they relaxed and took a long breather. That was when Jerry stepped up looking at his watch. “Ladies and Gents, we have and hour and fifteen minutes until our reservation at the Olive Garden is on. Why don’t we go and enjoy some good food, wine, and fellowship.” There was a brief round of applause as he led the folk out of the nave. Fr. Jim grabbed him coming down the aisle. 

“Good save on the time factor.” 

“Hosted enough Business Lunches where we had to do brainstorming while we ate. I’m used to it.” Jerry said with a grin.

“Good thing you are, because the mothers were about to have a panic attack.” Fr. Jim laughed.

“They are if anything, persistent.” Alan told him. 

Thirty minutes later the group was at the Olive Garden on Brainerd and being seated in the reserved banquet room where three staff servers were already laid on to take care of them. The mothers of the grooms breathed a silent prayer of relief as even the dinner went off without a hitch. There was small talk a plenty between fraternity brothers in opposite houses. Christian was there as well as he was a groomsman, but he looked much more relaxed. Then all heard the pinging of silverware on a glass lip and quietened. It was Jared and Jensen standing and looking over the group.

 

“We wanted to personally thank each of you in advance for helping us out here, and making this a perfect wedding for us. Normally events like this happen in the courthouse with a JP, but we wanted the works. I want to especially thank Father Jim Beaver and all the members of St. Bart’s for helping us make this dream come true.” There was a round of applause as Fr. Jim stood and bowed his thanks.

When it was quiet again Fr. Jim spoke. “It has been a rare privilege to work with two such fine young men, and to think they found 16 fraternity brothers who could pull in the same harness speaks a lot as well. Thank you all for what you are contributing. Especially thanks to Jared and Jensen who are so patient and kind through all this.” To that there was applause and some laughter, “Finally my thanks to the parents of the grooms, especially the mothers who have shouldered the brunt of the work. God bless Sherri and Donna and you to Alan and Jerry. Tomorrow will be the day to put this show on the road. It’s a one performance event, and you are all the stars which means you’ll do great.” There was general applause at that. With that he sat down and people resumed their meals, the buzz of conversations picking up again. Everyone broke up soon after the meal was over with orders to be at the church no later than one hour before start of service to be in place.

 

Jared, Jensen and the parents met back at the apartment briefly and then with hugs they were gone for the night as well. Jared looked at Jensen and as they walked into the bedroom they started tiredly stripping off clothing. 

“Shower?” Jensen asked.

“Shower.” Jared confirmed.

They went into the bath and turned the water on warming to their temperature and then they climbed in just letting the water fall over them, they washed each other languorously, then after a rinse they toweled off and somewhat rejuvenated.

“Feeling better?” Jared asked concerned.

“Feel fine, bit of a buzz on from the wine, I just can’t believe we’re almost hitched.” Jensen said smiling warmly at him.

“I know, babe, I feel the same. Didn’t think we’d have some of the shit to deal with that we do.” Jared commented.

“Same here, there’s just so much going on, and now it’s almost over, and here I am sounding like a baby.” Jensen said.

“Is this what you want?” Jared said taking him gently into his arms and steering him towards the bed where they both just lay there with Jared cuddling Jensen. The he started raining kisses on Jensen’s face and neck. Warming him up. Jensen was already feel quiet and aroused but there was something different he couldn’t put his finger on it. Until at last he let it go. 

“Uh you want to respond to me?” Jared asked. “I mean am I doing the right thing right now or do you just want to cuddle?” 

“Cuddle for a little while please.” Jensen asked as for no reason at all he felt tears on his cheek. He turned slightly his face pressed against Jared’s side as he cried.

Jared was no dummy he could feel the wetness on his chest and the quiet hitching of breathing from Jensen. He let him work it out of his system by kissing him and hugging him more. 

“What’s the matter Jen, you’re starting to scare me baby.” Jared asked quietly.

“I don’t know.” Jensen said through his tears, “God I feel so girly.” He quipped. 

“Well, you wouldn’t be crying without a reason would you?” Jared said.

“Possibly. I guess it finally hit me that all the fuss and bother would finally be over, we would have the ceremony and folks would pat us on the back and we could go on living normal lives. But we can’t!” He cried.

“Why can’t we Jen? What’s so different now from then?” He asked.

“Our parents are trying to make us over in their vision, I feel like a little kid playing dress up.”

“Do you even want this wedding?” Jared asked quietly.

“I want you! I’m tired of having to share, I’ve need you for weeks now and it seems like someone or something else always works into the mix to throw us a curve ball.” Jensen said.

“Hey, shh, just let it go,” Jared kissed him and stroked his back. “Tonight is for us. No interferences, we don’t have to do anything special, we can just be together. How long have you felt this way?” Jared asked.

“Pretty much since I came out of the hospital, I mean I got to the point of being able to cope with you away. But now it seems that fate is throwing bullshit in our path.” Jensen cried.

“I wish you would’ve said something earlier. Jen I.Love.You. and only you, I always will and always have, I just can’t control events that happen around us.” Jared said helplessly.

“I know, I’m just being such a wuss about this, I know you love me and we’re like a forever couple. But all the changes just in our apartment in the last couple of days have been well it’s hitting me down here for some reason.” He said patting his stomach.

“Nerves sweety, pure simple nerves. And I’ve got just the cure for that. You follow Dr. Jared’s orders and things will be fine. First strip the comforter back from the bed and lie belly down on the sheet. I’ll be right back, I promise.” Jared stood and walked over to a chest against the wall and opened it taking out a corked bottle of oil. He took it into the kitchen, pulled out the cork and microwaved it for a few seconds to warm it up. Then he went back into the bedroom to begin.

 

Jensen obeyed and was face down on the mattress. Jared straddled him and poured some of the oil in his palm. He rubbed his hands together then started with Jensen’s neck and shoulders. Gently but firmly working the muscles loose. He marveled at how tight and strung up Jensen seemed to be, so he worked on his back first. Jensen was evidently enjoying it more than a little bit considering the groans he was giving. It pained Jared to see Jensen like this. He was working on his upper back now with more oil and strokes that melted the tension that Jensen was feeling. He worked his lower back then and finally he started massaging his ass. Amazed at the tension that he could feel breaking up under his fingertips. He oiled up and worked those globes of flesh massaging all the way in without penetrating his assuring. Jensen was so relaxed now as Jared started to work on his thighs and calves. Finally he ordered Jensen to roll on his back and he did so sluggishly. He straddled him again and massaged his chest, the pectorals that begged to be touched. He paid special attention around the nipples and worked his way down again until was massaging the muscles at the tops of his thighs, leaving Jensen’s cock to wave in the breeze for the moment. He worked down the legs to the feet and carefully and slowly massaged the feet and toes. He came back up now and noted that Jensen was almost asleep. He paid attention to his crotch now, kissing and rubbing his cock and balls until Jensen was groaning in more pleasure. 

 

Jared sucked him deep his nose practically brushing the bush of pubic hair and that deep in he started to hum, some mindless, tuneless piece but something which would provide stimulation through the vibration of the hum. He could taste the precome that Jensen’s dick was weeping and to him it tasted like honey, the smallest part of what was to come. He started then to bob his head and suck him in earnest now. His tongue wrapping around the slicked head of Jensen’s prick, he continued to manipulate him his strokes with his mouth quick and sure but deep as well. Jared smiled as he could feel Jensen carding his fingers through his hair until at last with a grunt of pleasure Jensen came, Jared swallowing every drop and wanting more. The milked Jensen’s cock until he knew he’d gotten all that there was to have for now, which was just fine with him. Jared slid back up in bed to lie next to Jensen. Jared pulled Jensen close now kissing him again this time getting a completely relaxed response. Jensen groaned into the kissed.

 

“That better?” Jared whispered.

“Umm, much, thank you.” Jensen whispered back.

“Do you want to go to sleep now?” Jared asked.

“un uh, wanted to cuddle more. May sleep but like to cuddle.” Jensen said somewhat sllily.

 

The next morning they woke having had several rounds of delicious sex before finally dropping off to sleep. After their morning run then a hot shower, they breakfasted at the deli and then gathering themselves went upstairs to change. They were in their tuxedos in very short order and walked with some ease around the block to the church. The mothers were standing outside of the church looking for them and seemed to visibly relax when they came into view. Once inside the mothers pinned some elaborate yellow rosebud buttonieres to their lapels. They were given a once over by the moms and then told to grab a seat in one of the side rooms. It wasn’t long until the side rooms were filling with groomsmen doing final touch ups then getting in place to seat the people as they came into the church. 

 

Jensen looked at Jared after a moment and smiled. “At least Chad was able to get up and walk around some this morning.” He said referring to a report given by Christian as he arrived. 

“Yeah, still wish he could’ve been here.” Jared sighed.

“Yeah me too.” Jensen said as the door to the room opened. It was Harry “Hey guys, need you to get in place.”

They were hustled out of the room and into the lineup for the processional. The both gulped seeing that the church was filled, with their family and friends, and those they knew were church members.

 

“No turning back now.” Jared said with a nervous gulp.

“Don’t you pass out on me.” Jensen said as the organist started playing the intro to the processional. Everyone excepted the grooms entered and got into place. Fr. Jim gave the opening prayers the responses were made and then the main he retired to his place as Meagan came up to the lectern and sang, “Some say love.” Her voice range in the rafters it seemed as she opened up to the song. After she was finished Fr. Jim looked at the organist who played the opening chords then straight into “The Trumpet Voluntary.” Such a wonderful majestic piece for an intro as Jensen and Jared walked down the aisle taking their place in front of the altar. And the marriage service began in earnest. Jensen barely heard what the priest was saying he was concentrating so much on his husband. Jared was pretty much in the same boat.

 

“Jared do you take Jensen to be you beloved spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health and forsaking all others cleave only to him so long as you both shall live?” Fr. Jim said.

 

“I do.” Jared said firmly drawing a few snickers from his fraternity buddies. Fr. Jim asked the same of Jensen, then they entered into the recitation of the vows and the prayers finally Fr. Jim wrapped his stole around their joined hands which bore their blessed rings now and prayed.

 

“Almighty and everliving, everloving God, we praise you and thank you to bringing this couple under our roof to be joined in wedlock. We pray that now you would go forth with them in their lives that they may know in full the joy that awaits them as they travel. Give them grace, peace, and patience in abundance, let them not quarrel but find peace as always with one another. Let them be surrounded with friends, showered with love, and blessed with your peace now and always, for we love you and praise you for this day. In all this we ask for the sake your son our Saviour Jesus Christ, you are our God now and forever. Amen.” The audience responded with an Amen as well. “Insomuch as these two have come before this altar and given and received vows and instructions, insomuch as they have vowed before God this day to abide in peace and love, with the blessing of God and of the state of California, I have the honour of pronouncing them wed.” There was thunderous applause. The noticed their mothers were both crying now, which played at their hearts. “May I present to you Jared and Jacen Ackles-Padalecki. Now may the peace of the Lord be always with you.”

 

“And also with you.” Came the thunderous reply as Jared and Jensen kissed the hugged, then hugged Fr. Jim and started their rounds of sharing the peace with family and friends. Danneel and Gen were in the third row with some of the family and they nearly vaulted to hug and kiss them both, their eyes weeping. 

 

The crowd finally settled down and Jared and Jensen were given seats in the sanctuary near the altar. Then came the communion service with Fr. Jim’s tenor voice chanting loudly the prayers. This was a very special occasion for them and they wanted the service chanted. Then the communion was served with them being served first of the bread and wine. As the communion was concluded and the service concluded as well, Fr. Jim stepped forward. 

 

“May the Peace of God which passes all understanding be yours. May your days shine with sun and washed with gentle rains, and may we come to gather here again and now being blessed by the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.” He paused a moment, “If you like please join us now in the Parish Hall for the reception.”

 

As Jensen walked beside Jared into the hall he whispered to him. “I know the folks will want more pictures, but the best picture of all is in my mind of you above me last night.” They shared another kiss as they walked over to the table where the huge wedding cake was waiting to be cut. Once everyone could be gathered in were in. They cut the cake to the flashing of several cameras. Then fed each other bits of the slice, then shared a glass of wine. They stepped aside then as the professionals moved in to serve the cake and wine. Jensen and Jared getting the place at their table with the family and grooms men. Misha had expertly filmed the wedding and was now working his way through the reception.

 

The string quartet was playing and soon they started to play some dinner music. In an hour everyone was served and were either standing or sitting and partaking of the cake and wine. Jared and Jensen were enjoying bantering with their frat brothers and sorority sisters and were animatedly talking with them when a reporter for the LA Times came up with their photographer who took several candid shots of the couple.

 

“I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time?” The reporter asked.

“This is our wedding.” Jared warned.

“And you are one of the first hundred couples to be wed since Prop 8 was overturned. You ‘re the first couple between the two fraternities to get married, and you’re the first same-sex couple on the UCLA campus to be wed. Please just a moment and I’ll leave you in peace.” Jensen sighed and motioned for her to get on with it.

“Thank you, I’m Joy Kingston, with the LA Times, I’d like to ask how long you two have been waiting for this?”

“Actually this was more of a spontaneous thing. We’ve been partners for over 2 years, then we decided this was for life so why not take vows.” Jared said.

“What was so important to you about the marriage itself, I mean you were already cohabiting partners?” 

“We wanted to be a legally wed couple for several purposes which I don’t need to illuminate as it already has been some by some with higher intelligence than I. However, we also wanted our wedding to be blessed. It was to be a special day for us and we didn’t want it just standing in front of a judge in the Courthouse.” Jensen said.

“You’ve had a wonderful turnout, have you met with any resistance to this?” She asked.

“Surprisingly no, we’ve been completely accepted which I must admit is a novelty.” Jared responded.

“We’ll I must say that you have had one of the most refreshingly bright looking wedding parties.”

“Thank you.” Jared said. “We wanted to bring a scope of our frat brothers in from both our houses but didn’t want to be stodgy, we wanted bright and light.”

“Careful, someone might accuse you of being a drama queen.” She joked.

Jensen grinned, “That’s my job.” He said.

“Do you mind if we take some pictures of the reception?” She asked.

“By all means help yourself, just please try not to be intrusive.” Jared asked. 

“Thank you both, I really appreciate this.” She said grinning then shaking their hands departed.

 

“What do you want to bet we make the society page!” Jensen said with a grin.

“I don’t care so long as I have you.” Jared said.

“It’s a good thing that the public doesn’t know of our quarrels.” Jensen smiled.

“I like to think that we haven’t had many and they’ve be resolved pretty damn quick.” Jared replied with a grin of his own. They continued to sit back and enjoy the bantering and chat until the sound system was turned up enough to echo a tap to the microphone. 

 

“It’s been a wonderful party so far but what’s a party without music, here to conduct the swing band is Omega Phi’s own Todd Brodwick.” Harry said to polite applause.

“Thank you, it’s always custom for the bride and the groom to have the first dance at a wedding, I see no reason that that custom should be changed for a groom and groom. Jared, Jensen this one’s for you!” Jared grabbed Jensen’s hand and nearly dragged him to the dance floor as the band started into the opening bars of “In the Mood.” Megan came up to the microphone then and started singing.

 

“Who's the lovin' daddy with the beautiful eyes

What a pair o' lips, I'd like to try 'em for size

I'll just tell him, "Baby, won't you swing it with me"

Hope he tells me maybe, what a wing it will be

So, I said politely "Darlin' may I intrude"

He said "Don't keep me waitin' when I'm in the mood"

 

First I held him lightly and we started to dance

Then I held him tightly what a dreamy romance

And I said "Hey, baby, it's a quarter to three

There's a mess of moonlight, won't-cha share it with me"

"Well" he answered "Baby, don't-cha know that it's rude

To keep my two lips waitin' when they're in the mood"

 

In the mood, that's what he told me

In the mood, and when he told me

In the mood, my heart was skippin'

It didn't take me long to say "I'm in the mood now"

 

In the mood for all his kissin'

In the mood his crazy lovin'

In the mood what I was missin'

It didn't take me long to say "I'm in the mood now"”

 

She finished the song to applause and Jared and Jensen got a strong applause as well for their very swinging dance steps. Then the band started in with “Chattanooga Choo Choo.” And all were called to the dance floor. It was three numbers later that Jensen and Jared came off the dance floor sweating, laughing, singing, and having the highest good time that they could ever remember. They had some bottled water they’d thought to have on hand with the other drinks as well. They downed a bottle each and went back for more.

 

“Having a good time?” Jared asked.

“Wonderful time, how about you?” Jensen asked.

“It couldn’t be better. This was much more than I dreamed.” Jared said with a grin.

They hugged and looked around watching the crowd interact, listening to the music, then Jared could feel it through Jensen’s shirt, a very light trembling sensation.

 

“How about the step outside for a minute?” Jared suggested.

“Sounds like a good idea. You don’t mind?” Jensen asked his eyes taking on a slightly hunted look.

“Come on babe, you need a breather.” Jared took Jensen by the hand as they stood. Donna and Sherri looked up quickly. “Gonna step outside for a moment.” Jared told them, they nodded understandingly.


	17. Chapter 17

In the quiet of the little garden spot that was between the administrative section and the Parish hall there was a small sitting garden with three benches surrounding a small fountain. They took their seats and held each other. It was about then that Christian came out looking for them.

 

“Everything okay?” He asked concerned.

“Yeah crowd got a little overwhelming.” Jared told him.

“Yeah, I gotta admit that’s a helluvaparty in there.” Christian told them, “Well I’ll go back and let the rest know that you’ve not skipped on them.” He joked.

Jensen smiled. “Don’t worry, I’m that fragile of a wall flower.” 

“Shut the fu---stuff up.” Christian said editing himself for his location.

Christian disappeared back inside while Jensen permitted himself to be snuggled by Jared.

 

“I can’t remember be so happy.” Jensen said grinning.

“I’m glad to be part of the reason you’re so giddy.” Jared joked.

“I’m glad you suggested this.” Jensen said.

“My pleasure to give you pleasure.” Jared quipped.

 

It was about fifteen minutes later that Alan and Jerry came out. “You boys okay?” Jerry asked.

“Yeah just needed a breather is all, I think we’re ready to go back now.” Jared replied.

“Good because the photographer wants to get some pictures of you and the groomsmen before you get too disheveled.” Alan joked.

“Gotcha dad. Let go Jared, our public awaits.” Jensen said with a grin.

Jared took Jensen’s hand and gave it a little squeeze as they started back inside. There was applause to them as they reentered the building. For which they bowed deeply. 

 

“Come on I need let’s do this.” Jensen said as they listened to the band playing some popular tunes then the photographer moved in and started shooting some more candid shots , then gathering them and the groomsmen into the nave they shot some pictures to the decorations. As well as the classic wedding poses. Then the photographer got some fun shots of them together in the parish hall. They changed into casual clothing and finally the car was brought around to the front of the church. The crowd followed them out to the Honda Element decorated in bunting, with cans tied to the bumper and Just Married scribbled on every window. They stood there for a moment then kissed and jumped into the car making a fast get away. They were on the road when Jensen noted they were just going around the block. 

 

“We are on our honeymoon and we’re going to take it. I left a key with Dad, he and the folks are going to make sure what gifts we got will get to the apartment as well as the Anniversary cake to get into the freezer. Told mom to save us some of the wedding cake proper, they promised they would.” 

“But our bags?”

“In the luggage shell along with your camera in the back seat.” Jared said with a grin. “Now quit worrying and settle back we’ve got not a long ride ahead of us, but long enough. Are you hungry?” Jared asked. 

“I’m starved.” Jensen replied.

“There’s a Bennigan’s on this side of town , wanna hit them before we head to the valley?”

“Sure.” Jensen said as they pulled into the restaurant. 

They were seated immediately and placed their order for iced tea and appetizers. Then for the real food. Soon they were dining in earnest.

 

Afterwards they hit the road, set the cruise control and headed for the Sonoma Valley. It was about a 4 hour drive so that by the time they got there it was early evening and the dining room was just starting to serve dinner. 

 

“I’m not that hungry, at least not for food food.” Jensen said with a grin.

“It’s a good thing you’re not a girl, I would make you so pregnant right now.” Jared leered. “We go and be sociable and prove that we as sophisticated as any others they have in and go from there.”

“Okay.” Jensen said with a little bit of a pout.

“Then we come back here and I fuck you until the dawns early light.” Jared quipped.

“OKAY!” Jensen said smiling. They walked over to the main house and joined the other guests at the table a glass of tea with lemon was brought to each of them then the soup du jour which just happened to be a tomato based gumbo that was to quote Jared “out of this world and the next.” Jensen also seemed to be enjoying the meal. The entrees came around and most of the table dug in with gusto. Jared and Jensen worked on theirs politely. The hostess started conversation as she was at Jared and Jensen’s end. 

 

“So tell me what bring you to our inn?” 

“A honeymoon.” Jared said grinning and blushing slightly.

“Honeymoon, you got married!! Good for you. We have another couple at the table the Andersons.” She pointed they waved. “ Who are celebrating their 25th Anniversary.

“Hope you make to our years and many more.” Mrs. Anderson said.

“Thank you hope y’all have many more to come.” Jensen shot back.

“What kind of work are you in Mr. Padalecki, Mr. Ackles?” The hostess asked politely.

“We’re both students at UCLA, I’m Pre-Law and Jensen here is in Pre-Med.” Jared answered.

“Another lawyer.” One of the guests mumbled. 

“Yeah, I agree, that’s why I’m studying Forensic Law, something outside the norm where I have to get the historical data, I won’t be in courtrooms except to testify.” Jared said.

“Fascinating.” The hostess prodded. “And your husband here is in Pre-Med?” She asked.

“Yes, I’m on the ground floor working my way up the chain. Right now I ‘m making my applications into the internship programs some hospitals offer.”

“That’s a vicious occupation in a medicine, take a lot of raw gut feelings. You up for that.” One guest asked.

“Actually yes I am. I am a very focused person and if for some reason I fail at that I’ve still got my music skills to fall back on.” Jensen said happily.

“Music, and just what do you play.” The companion to the guest asked.

“Classical Acoustic Guitar. I’ve already cut one album which is in circulation with the freelance recording distributors. My husband is a musician as well, he’s a cellist I’m hoping to twist his arm to record with me.” Jensen laughed. Jared laughed with him and nodded. 

 

They managed to get through the rest of the dinner hour without any provocation. Then they adjourned to the adjacent cottage. Once behind closed doors they stripped down, showered off the road sweat, they curled up on the plush queen-sized bed and relaxed together, just relaxing, no foreplay, just snuggling. 

 

“We really ought do that.” Jensen murmured.

“Do what?” Jared said near sleep.

“Cut a demo, audition for the cities symphony. SO much we could do.”

“Wait what about your degree studies and my pre-law. I was hoping to ride this through their law program secure us something with bite.”

“And you still can. Look I’m doing mediocre in the pre-med programme, I want better for us. All I’m saying is we continue school but we do performances as well.” Jensen urged.

“You’re serious about this?” Jared said unbelieving this is the same person who is still working out separation anxiety between the two of them. 

“Absolutely, Dude when you play your cello you make me so hot!” Jensen said.

“Well your concentration when you are playing a piece on the guitar is amazing to me and yeah it’s very sensual. And when we play together, well, it’s a good thing formals are black, hides the cum stains.” Jared said with a grin.

They kissed then the kiss got deeper and then groping ensued. They turned down the lights for the evening and started their honeymoon in earnest.

 

The next morning by habit they woke early, they suited up for a run and ventured down to the back of the property where there was a fairly large lake. 

 

“You wanna do this?” Jared asked as he and Jensen jogged in place. All Jensen did was grin broadly and start on on the walking trail around the lake. Jared shrugged and followed. By the time they were finished with the job they were winded, sweaty, and happy. They ducked into their cottage and grabbed a shower then noticing it was going on 8:00 decided to venture into the B&B to see if breakfast was ready. Coffee was waiting fresh, hot, and rich. Breakfast would be served in a half hour, so they wandered out to the sunporch on the rear and nodded to a few guests who were up and looked at the view.

 

“Son how is the lake?” Mr. Anderson asked Jensen. 

“Nice, real sweet.” Jensen replied.

“A good walk then.” He said happily.

“Definitely.” Jared replied. “It’s so quiet down there. I mean we live near the campus and it’s sorta quiet but this is the real deal.” 

“Edyth,” He asked his wife, “Fancy a walk around the lake after breakfast?”

“Ooo sounds lovely.” She replied.

 

The B&B’s owner and hostess came in, spying Jared and Jensen she smiled. “I see you’ve discovered our lake.”

“First thing Mrs. Norman, great run.”

“Sarah please, and it is 3 miles around that lake, we had it measured once. So you dedicated runners as well?” She said.

“Yes, we are fairly adamant about keeping up our fitness.” Jensen said. “I guess that’s part of the pre-med training.” He said with a smile.

Sarah checked her watch, “Oh good, it’s time for breakfast.” She said as the guests in the sun room rose and followed her into the dining room where the breakfast was on the sideboard buffet style. 

 

After breakfast, Jared and Jensen went on a walking tour of one of the many nature trails that threaded it way through the valley. They startled a mother fox and her kits at one point and flushed a small covey of quail at another. The land was beautiful. They were glad for choosing it even more now. Their walk took them around low areas where there were natural wetlands to small rises, figuring they’d covered considerable mileage the started back towards the inn. On the way they passed a man they found out was an investment banker in the San Francisco, Buford Pollard. He seemed a touch distracted.

 

“Buford.” Jared said politely the man ignored them took two steps and muttered “fags”.

Jared stopped and turned. “What! Do my ears deceive me or did I not hear that male refer to us as fags.” Jared said loudly. Pollard stopped and turned his nose distinctly out of joint. Jared walked back up the path to him. “Do we have a problem?” The banker looked up at Jared. 

“Yeah I suppose we do.” Pollard replied frankly.

“I suppose there are a number of ways we could resolve this, all of them unpleasant, so how about this.” Jared steps one pace to the banker. “We merely ignore each other, you stay out of our flight, we’ll stay out of yours. It is inevitable that we’ll have to sit at the same table for meals, and I suppose I should have reservations about that, but I look at it like this. We’re only going to be thrown together for a week, not a lifetime.”

“Oh and spare us the whole gay argument scenario, been there done that burned the tee-shirt, there’s nothing you can nothing you can quote to justify your hatred.” Jensen said.

“And suppose…” Pollard started.

“That you don’t let this go. Well look at this logistically, you’re a banker, I’m a student, I’ve got at least 7” in height, 50 lbs in mass on you, I could beat you to a bloody pulp; however, you’re a banker, you have a few lawyers in your pocket, you could sue the pants off me. But one thing, I’m not going to lift a finger to stop you from trying to harm me because if anything happens to me or my partner, I’ll find a way to tie it back to you, and I’ll have my lawyer press the DA to file this as a hate crime, and they will here in good old California. And there’s not a jury in this state that will convict me.” Jared grinned stepped back and dropped his hands, you want to do more than sling dirt go for it. Oh and if I hear you slander me again especially anywhere there are witnesses, I’ll press a slander suit against you, and once again, hate crime, you lose. Good morning.” Jared said turning kissing Jensen and then taking his hand as they start back along the path toward the inn. 

“I love it when you go all cave man like that.” Jensen said with a grin. 

“You may squeeze my muscles now.” Jared said grinning back. Jensen reached out and copped a feel of Jared’s crotch. “Wrong MUSCLE!” Jared yelped.

“Depends on your point of view.” Jensen said smugly.

 

They got back to the Inn with plenty of time to run to the nearby town of Fairmont to pick up a few items at the market. The found most of what they wanted with some surprises as well. 

 

“The Portabellos were a score, so was that Arugula.” Jared said.

“Aw I think someone misses my cooking.” Jensen said kidding.

“Hey Romeo, aside from sex and music your next greatest accomplishments come from the kitchen.” Jared said nibbling at his ear, earning him a swat, a swear, and Jensen a serious blush.

Jensen turned and looked earnestly at Jared, all serious now. 

 

“We’re gonna make this work right?” He asked nervously.

“Uh yeah, of course we are why do you keep asking?” Jared said curiously.

“Reassurance.” Jensen said quietly.

Suddenly it got deathly silent in the kitchenette. Jensen turned around to see Jared gone and the door standing open. Jensen went into instant panic mode and stepped out the door looking around. The finally looked down the path leading to the lake and saw Jared’s retreating back. Yanking the door to the cottage shut he ran after him.

“J-Jared!” He called the other refused to acknowledge him. “JARED PLEASE!” Jared kept walking a few steps then stopped but didn’t turn around. Jensen could see he had a good temper boiling as his shoulders were hunched, a very bad sign. “J-J-Jared, I’m sorry, whatever it was I’m s-s-sorry.” Jensen said well on his way to hyperventilating. Jensen stopped a few feet from him panting and wheezing, trying to get oxygen to speak but unable to do so. Jared’s tension slowly eeked out as his shoulder relaxed minutely. He had a resigned expression on his face and turned to face a very pale faced Jensen.

“Oh for crying out…” Jared ran over to him helping him to bend down. “Deep breaths Jensen, come on you remember the exercise, deep breaths.” Jared said rubbing his back . It went on until finally Jensen tumbled forward onto his face in the grassy track. Jared rolled him over, he wasn’t breathing at all now. Quickly Jared tilted his head and started CPR. His pulse rate was pretty fast so he didn’t worry about that just some respirations to get Jensen’s lungs going again. After several minutes of artificial respiration, Jensen coughed and started breathing on his own. He tried to talk but Jared held up an admonishing finger. 

 

“Jensen, calm down, just breath slow, deep, even breaths.” Jensen listened to the orders and did his best to comply, slowly he relaxed enough to be able to breathe easier. Jensen saw that he was lying down and started to figure out what had happened and blushed furiously. “You listen to me real good this time Jensen Ross Ackles, because evidently it hasn’t taken the first gadjillion times I’ve said it to you. I love you, I have to have otherwise I wouldn’t have taken the time to marry you, but you’ve got to realized that you have a set of balls again and use them. I love you so much Jens, but it just doesn’t seem enough for me to say so, I don’t know what I’ve got to do for you, to prove it. I’ve tried everything short of shedding blood and I’m really not into that if you know what I mean.” Jared sighed and looked down for a moment then back up meeting Jensen’s gaze. “Do you WANT to be married to me?” He asked plainly.

 

“Y-yes of course.” 

“Then why, FOR FUCK’S SAKE, won’t you believe me when I tell you that I love you. Why do you need constant and never ceasing reassurance? Have I done anything to make you think so little of me that I would stoop to trashy levels and play around behind your back?” Jared asked plainly.

“Jared, I just don’t want to lose you…” Jensen stammered.

“WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I’M LOOKING?” Jared shouted then berated himself at the look of shock that rolled across Jensen’s features.

“Because of what Josh said to me once.” Jensen said in a husky whisper.

“Josh, what does your big brother have to do with any of this?” Jared asked trying to level his own tone out as much as his rage would let him.

“At Ally’s funeral, he took me out back, behind the funeral home and gut punched me four or five times, I lost count, and told me how all of this was my fault. That if I’d been watching her like I supposed to she’d still be alive. That…if I’d man up about it, it should be me in there instead of her.” Jared’s breath hitched as memory recall brought so much tumbling back to him. “My mom wouldn’t talk to me for days after the funeral then when she did it was in short clipped orders. I’m a fuck up Jared, I was then and I’m afraid I am now. He rolled his hands over so his wrists were facing up, there for the first time, Jared could see to thin scars running across his wrists. “I couldn’t even do that right.” His voice was icy calm now. Slowly he pushed himself to a sitting position. “I was in therapy for several months, on some pretty kick ass medications back then because I don’t remember most of it. I know I did have to go back and retake the grade 5 classes because I was so looped I couldn’t pass them the first time. Jared.” He looked at his husband with quiet calm now. “I told you I was damaged goods.”

 

Jared knelt there for several minutes just trying to get a breath himself. It seemed as if ALL the air had been forced from his lungs. “Let’s go back to the cottage, you are going to bed for a bit and I’m going to make a phone call. I’m going to repeat everything you’ve told me to Dr. Branson.” Jared said each as if he were ticking them off on his fingers. “We are going to get through this together. You and me.” Jared stood and pulled Jensen to his feet and then after a long moment they walked slowly, deliberately back to the cottage.

 

Inside he did just what he said. He helped Jensen strip down to his boxers, then put him to bed. Jensen lay there for a long moment staring at the ceiling. He was trembling minutely. Then he closed his eyes and in a few minutes seemed to be asleep. Jared, picked up his cell phone and dialed another cell number. After a few rings it connected to a voice mail.

 

“You have reached the voice mailbox of Doctor Sara Branson, after the tone, leave a brief message, your name and your number. I will return it as soon as possible.” 

 

*beep*

 

“Dr. Branson, Jared Padalecki here. There has been a significant memory recall today that has left Jensen well nearly comatose. Please call me back as soon as you get this. 875-555-1212. Thanks.”

 

It was nearly an hour later, Jared had checked on Jensen and he was rolled on his side in fetal position sleeping somewhat soundly. Finally the cell phone rang, it was Dr. Branson.

 

“Sara here. Jared what’s wrong?” Jared launched into a retelling of events with all details intact. When he’d finished she was silent for a long moment. “Okay, I have to admit to not having seen this one coming.” She said. “Allyson Ackles, okay, I’ll check this out, I may need to call his mother to confirm some details, I’ll keep the tone as neutral as possible. Jared don’t leave him for a minute.”

 

“Yes ma’am.”

“You’re sorta out in the sticks up in the valley, what town are you closest to?” She asked.

“Fairmont.” Jared replied.

“There anything that looked like a drug store in that town, never mind, I’ll look it up and phone something in. Give me about a half hour and I’ll call you back with more information.” She disconnected the call so Jared went in and sat on the foot of the bed feeling useless.

 

Twenty minutes later his phone rang.

“Hello?” 

“Sara here. Okay, there’s a CVS on Decatur Street in Fairmont. It’s a street just off the main drag, the store is visible from the main street. I’ve got something a little more powerful called in to calm him down until we can get him back here. I’m afraid you’re going to have to cut your honeymoon a little short.” She said apologetically.

“I don’t care I only want what’s best for Jens.” Jared responded. 

“Call me when you are back in town, I don’t care what the hour is call me. Get him to ER at Cedars, I’ll go ahead and shoot them a message telling then to expect you. Don’t leave him.” She repeated.

Jared sighed, “Why is it everyone thinks we’re going to split?”

“Couples have broken up over less.” Dr. Branson told him. “See you when you get him in here.”


	18. Chapter 18

Jared then dialed the inn’s main desk. “Sarah Norman please.” He asked the clerk. 

“Sarah here.”

“This is Jared Padalecki, my husband and I are going to have to check out, there’s a medical situation going on and I’ve got to get him back to LA immediately.” Jared said trying to keep his tone calm.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry to hear that. Well of course in a situation like that the inn can make accomodations. Give me a minute and I’ll bring you a rain check. You book when the situation is over and we’ll set you right up. Uh, Jared, I’m terribly sorry about what happened with Mr. Pollard. He checked out early due to some issues, he then told me in no uncertain terms about the issue with you and he on the path. I’m not supposed to take sides in an issue like this, but I would as soon lose his patronage than yours.”

“Thanks Sarah, I appreciate that.” Jared replied.

“Give me a few minutes and I’ll bring that right over.” She said.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” Sarah replied. 

 

Jared went back over to the bed and sat there rubbing Jensen’s back. In a few minutes there was a tap at the door. He got up and went over. Opening the door Sarah was there holding a plain envelope. She spoke in hushed tones seeing that Jensen was still in bed. 

 

“This is good for a week at your next booking.” She said quietly.

“Thank you so much.” Jared told her.

“How is he?” She asked.

“Nerves, he’ll be good as new soon enough.” Jared said smiling weakly.

“Good…good. All our best.” She said then departed.

 

Jared stood there for a moment and then looked over at Jensen, He walked over and packed up their things as quietly as possible. The tucking the envelope into his suitcase he loaded up the Element and came back in he lay on the bed snuggled up to Jensen until at last he started to stir. 

 

“Jared?” He called weakly.

“Hey babe, I’m here.” Jared replied.

“Have I slept long?” He asked abjectly.

“Couple of hours. It’s good for you. Do you feel up to travelling?” He asked.

“Could we eat first?” Jensen asked.

“No problem. You lay here I’ll fix us up a bite.” 

“Okay.” Jensen said.

 

Jared walked over to the stove and carefully sliced some Portobello and Arugula together and sautéed it briefly. Then he carefully ladled it over the deli roast beef they’d got as well and set both plates up at the dinette. He opened the bottle of wine they got as well and poured two generous servings. He walked back over to the bed and coaxed Jensen in joining him at the table. Together they dined with Jensen eating almost ravenously. Jared put the plates aside and then they finished their wine with Jensen staring at the tabletop.

 

“Jensen…Jensen look at me please.” Jared asked, Jensen complied his eyes filled. “To have and to hold, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I meant all that baby. If you could just believe me.” 

A tear tracked down each of Jensen’s cheeks. “Let’s get you dressed and go.”

“Go? Where are we going?” Jensen asked querulously.

“Dr. Branson wants to see you immediately. She insisted, she is a very persuasive person, we’re going to stop in Fairmont and pickup something that will help you relax…”

“More drugs…” He said resignedly.

“This will help.”

“Okay.” Jensen said as he walked back over to the bed and slowly dressed again with Jared’s help. It took over fifteen minutes to dress, but they managed. Jared took out his wallet and dropped three twenties on the dinette for the maid’s trouble. Then they walked out, and got in the Honda. “What about checking out? And the rest of the week!” Jensen said stridently.

“Easy kiddo. Checking out has already been taken care of and she gave us a rain check for a week at our convenience.” 

“Shit! I didn’t mean to spoil this for us!!” He argued.

“Your health is more important to me right now and we’ve got plenty of time to make up for this in the future.” The started down the winding drive the led to the bed and breakfast and were soon on the road leading back into town. Jared did the quick thing and pulled through the drive through pickup and also asked for a bottle of water. He paid and then pulled up in the parking lot. Opening the bag he saw it was Ativan. He read the label directions and poured the requisite pills into his palm then recapped the bottle. 

 

“Here.” He passed the tiny pills and bottle of water to Jensen. “Take, it’s Ativan. You’ve had it before.”

“Oh yeah, I remember this stuff, the “don’t give a shit” pills.” He said with a weak smile.

Jared coughed and looked away a moment.

“Jared…babe, you okay?” Jensen asked after taking the medication.

“Yeah, just glad to see you smile again.” Jared said smiling as well. Then he put the car in gear and they took off. After several miles Jensen looked at Jared. “Hate to be a party pooper but, I’m sleepy again.”

“Take a nap.” Jared said reaching over and absently stroking Jensen’s cheek. 

Jared got back on the interstate as quickly as possible, pushing speed limits on several of the highways. Then when he was on the interstate he wound the little car up and focused on the traffic weaving his way through, thankful that Jensen was asleep otherwise he’d also be putting up with a backseat driver. The drive back in took them just a little over two and half hours thanks to little freeway traffic that afternoon. He slid into Cedar’s ER parking about 45 minutes after reaching the city limits due to some downtown traffic. Once there he gently woke Jensen and together they made their way inside to the desk. Jared walked up to the busy nurse.

 

“Jared and Jensen Ackles-Padalecki, Dr. Branson is expecting us.” The nurse looked at the doctors references and noted one.

“I have one for a Jensen Ackles.” She said.

“Yeah we just got married.” Jared said.

“Congratulations honey, helluva way to spend your honeymoon. Go over to one of the booths and a nurse will be with you in a moment. “ 

“Thanks.” Jared responded.

 

The checking in process this time was a little expedited as they immediately had him back to a treatment room. A nurse came in and took his vitals and inserted an IV butterfly connector into his arm and taped it in place. 

 

“Has he had the Ativan?” She asked looking at his chart.

“Took it just before we left at 11:45.” Jared told her.

“Good.” Then she turned her attention back to Jensen. “Jensen, I need you to lie down hon. We’ll be taking some blood shortly for the lab, so just get comfy.” It was about an hour and a half later that Dr. Branson showed up. She looked him over and then the results from the blood test. She then turned her attention to Jensen. 

“Jensen, you’re going to be visiting us for a short stay. But this time you’ll be in a different part of the hospital. Jared will be able to share the bed with you in this room. For now rest. We’ll start treatment as soon as admissions is done with you.” Then she left the room.

 

“Jensen I need to make a call I’ll be just on the other side of the room.” Jared told him.

“Okay. Kiss for luck.” He asked. Jared leaned in then and embraced him as best as he could and gave his a long kiss. When they broke they both were a little breathless. “Oh, that’s good luck.” He said with a small smile.

 

On the other side of the room Jared placed his call.

“Jay, hey man you’re uh supposed to be on a honeymoon, not calling us space cases.” Christian said.

“Chris red alert. Jensen’s back over at Cedar’s we had a relapse.”

“Oh shit.” Christian said quietly. “Okay, what can we do?”

“First go over to the apartment and unbooby trap whatever has been set up.”

“Man we haven’t had time to think of what all we were going to do yet.” Christian told him truthfully. 

“Do me a favour and go over and check for us anyway, I don’t trust our fathers or our mothers for that matter to not have set up something. You know what to look out for.” Jared told him.

“On it boss, anything else?” Christian asked.

“That’ll do for a start. I’ll call you when I have a room number for him.” Jared said.

“Take care Jay, and take care of Jenny for us.” Christian said.

They hung up then Jared look Jensen was dozing in and out. He walked over to the bed. “I’m going to step into the hall for a minute, I promise I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” Jensen said tiredly. 

“Take a nap.” Jared notioned.

 

In the hall he placed a second call.

“Hello Jared?” The male voice asked. 

Jared somehow managed to contain his anger. “Hi Alan, yeah just wanted to let you know we’re back over at Cedars.”

“What happened?” Alan said businesslike.

“Jensen had total recall this morning.” Jared said evenly.

“Total recall of what?” Alan asked confused.

“Allyson.”

“Oh fuck.” Alan said concerned now. “How bad?”

“He passed out at one point and stopped breathing.” Jared said his tone still even, if Alan noted it he didn’t say anything.

“But he’s okay now?” Alan asked.

“NO HE’S NOT FUCKING OKAY RIGHT NOW!” Jared hissed into the phone angrily. “He laying in there pumped up on some Ativan and God knows what else before the night is over.” Jared said angry tears on his cheeks. 

 

“We’ll catch the fir…” Alan started.

“Wait until I call again, I’ll give you more news and then you can make the determination on whether or not to come out however, between me you and the fucking fencepost, I think Sherri is the last person he’s gonna want to see right now.” Jared said heatedly.

“I’ll be waiting for your call.” Alan said distractedly then hanging up. Jared pocketed his phone and walked back into the room. Jensen was groggily looking around the room his sense of panic building. 

“It’s okay man, I’m right here.” Jared told him grasping his shoulder firmly.

“What’s the matter? You’re upset.”

“Called your folks, thankfully I got to speak with Alan.” Jared said tensely.

“How’d that go?” Jensen asked dispassionately

“I was one step from yanking him through the phone.” Jared said.

“Oh shit.” Jensen said weakly.

 

Dr. Branson reentered the room then and walked over to the examination table. “Okay, you’re going to be on 4 west, it’s admission by doctor’s permission only.”

“The psych ward.” Jared said tiredly.

“If you want to call it that, yeah it could be seen that way. It’s the best place that Jensen has to recover.” She said. “He’s handling entirely differently isn’t he?” She asked

“Yeah, he’s intensely remorseful, guilty, and strangely at ease with some points of the event.” 

“Not good, means I have to reline my game plan entirely.” She sighed, “Well, that’s what I’m paid for.”

“Speaking of which?” Jared began, “We have some funds but even we are limited.”

“We’ve got him reentered on his father’s insurance packet. If that runs out we’ll discuss options then. For now son, keep the stress level to yourself to a minimum. Jensen will pick up on it and run and we might not be able to catch him this time.” Dr. Branson noted.

 

An orderly came in shortly with a wheelchair and after they’d carefully bundled Jensen in it was a ride up to the fourth floor. The room looked like a standard hospital suite only with a double sized bed. Seeing the confusion on Jared’s face, Dr. Branson smiled and explained.

 

“Several patients are married couples, we always find that the partner heals better when they have as much contact with their mate as possible when the relationship is good.” 

“No problem with that.” Jared said. 

“What about your classes?” Dr. Branson asked. 

“I’ll talk with our advisors tomorrow and see what the chances of switching to online coursework would be. We can work from here for the duration.” Jared said.

“That may be the best thing for him. Something to tie him to reality a bit stronger.” Dr. Branson noted. “You realize that Jensen will probably have to change his major?”

“Why…” Jensen asked from the bed.

“Sorry, we weren’t ignoring you, just giving you a chance to settle in. I’m not going to start you on any other medications, we’re going to work through this with regular therapy. The old fashioned way would be to dope out the problems. I don’t agree with that notion, so you get to do this my way which is face it head on. I have to ask you Jensen, as your parents may want to come out and visit what are your desires?” She asked.

“I really don’t care.” Jensen said quietly.

“Not right now.” Jared replied.

“Jared!” Jensen started.

“No, your mother neglected you at your most vulnerable point, your dad didn’t seem to care one way or the other. No, if it’s all the same I want them not to be permitted to see Jensen for right now.” 

“Jared…” Jensen persisted.

“Jensen, I think Jared has made a good point. Let’s work you through some of this before exposing you to your mother again right now.” Dr. Branson said. “I’ve got your Zoloft and Prozac ordered up to be dispensed here. Also there will be a two meal trays brought in again. Jared I want you to work with me on this, you remember the split up time we worked with?”

“Yes…” Jared admitted quietly. 

“We may be working through that again. We’ll just have to see.” Dr. Branson told him.

 

The next morning Jared went over to the registrar’s office and managed to get their courses changed to online, including the lectures, which they would have to endure as podcasts. Next he dropped by the apartment and got their school bags and brought them over. Finally he spent over an hour calming Jensen down from the absence of that morning.

Jensen wasn’t totally wracked by the time he returned however he was seriously disturbed. When Jared came back in the room Jensen practically fell into his arms. Only to come to find out that it was pure fear of where he was that was driving him. They lay together on the bed for several long minutes with Jensen slowly getting it back together. 

 

“Better?” Jared asked at one point.

“Yeah, starting to calm down, I was getting that fight or flight syndrome going on in my head and it was getting scary.” Jensen said.

“What caused that to react this time?” Jared asked.

Jensen was panting now, getting his breath back, and slowly the trembling in his hands stopped. “But I didn’t call a nurse this time!” He said proudly.

Jared hung his head for a moment. “Jensen my dearest darling, it’s times like that that you are supposed to call a nurse. Don’t be brave and fight alone what we need to work on together.” 

“Sorry” Jensen pouted.

“And you have the most adorable little pout that you can get on from time to time.” Jared said smiling then he kissed Jensen firmly feeling him relaxing and returning the kiss. “You are worth the trouble, tears, trauma. I’d rather not have anyone else.”

“Not even Justin Bieber!?” Jensen asked playfully.

“Oh God! That’s like doing my kid brother. Jesus man, where do you dig up some of this shit?” Jared asked laughing.

 

“Good, playful banter, that’s a step in the right direction.” Dr. Branson said helpfully.

“He’s got the hots for Justin Bieber!” Jensen playfully snorted at Jared.

Dr. Branson’s eyebrows went up at that. “So do not.” Jared responded.

“Good, I was going to recommend you a psychologist that deals with pedophilia.” Dr. Branson said straight faced then cracked a grin.

“Ow! Touché Doc!” Jared managed.

“Would you excuse us Jared?” She asked. There was a desperation in Jensen’s eyes then he bit his lip and nodded.

“I’ll be fine.” Jensen said not convincingly.

“You will be in time Jensen.” Dr. Branson said taking a seat next to the bed where Jensen sat turning to her attention. The door softly closed and then Dr. Branson’s smile wintered a bit. “You can drop the pretense Jensen. I know you’re scared. I know what you’re scared of, and now thanks to Jared’s phone call, I also now know what was the impetus. You love your mother very much don’t you?”

Jensen sighed and looked down at his hands. “I’m learning to love her again.” 

“Her castigation of you hurt, no doubt. But was there any physical outbursts?” Dr. Branson asked. “Truth please.” She said holding up a finger.

“A little, for the first couple of years the least little thing would provoke her. She has a mean backswing. I soon learned to stay out of her attack zone as much as possible.” Jensen said trembling, his voice fragile. 

“Okay, so we’ve got a little post-traumatic stress to work through as well.” Dr. Branson said making a note on her pad. “By the way, if you feel a panic attack coming on and Jared is not her, call a nurse, they are equipped to help you through this.”

“With drugs.” Jensen said desultorily. 

“That’s one way, there are multiple ways we can help you, but you’ve got to work with us. You’re going to be with us a little longer this time, about two weeks. I know that puts a crimp in your school life, but it’s the best I can do for you. You obviously had a major episode and we need to explore this and excise it from your psyche so that it won’t trouble you again, or if it does it will not be as severe.” Dr. Branson told him. “Let’s talk about the accident.”

 

In the hall Jared found a quiet spot and placed a call. “St. Bartholomews Episcopal Church, Nancy speaking.”

“Nancy! Jared Padalecki here, well Ackles-Padalecki now.”

“Jared, Hi, didn’t expect to hear from your so soon.” She said brightly.

“Is Father Jim available?” He asked.

“Sure just a moment.” She replied a troubled tone in her voice.

 

“Jared! Son, I expected you and Jensen to be enjoying the wines of the Sonoma Valley, not calling back home. What’s going on?”

“Jensen’s back in hospital, 434, the psych wing.” Jared said tears in his voice.

“What happened son.” Fr. Jim said encouragingly. 

Jared told him the tale about the encounter on the path with Pollard and then the issue at the lake and the recall of the event. 

“I don’t know what to do.” Jared said his voice small.

“Do you love him enough to stay with him, and I don’t mean out of guilt, I mean do you really love him?” Fr. Jim asked straight out.

There was a momentary pause, “Him, I love completely, Alan and Sherri not so much.”

“I didn’t ask you about the in-laws, besides you didn’t marry them.” Fr. Jim pointed out bluntly. 

“I just feel so lost, Father.” Jared said tiredly.

“I’ll be over there in a few minutes.” Fr. Jim said.

“Thank you.” Jared told him and disconnected the call. Then he placed a call he knew he’d have to place eventually. 

 

“Hello Jared? How’s Jensen!!??” Sherri’s anxious voice asked. 

“We’re back to square one.” Jared said sighing.

Sherri broke out in tears at the other end of the connection. “I messed up with him so badly.” She said between sobs. 

“You were heartbroken with the loss of your littlest one. Of course your actions are going to be a bit erratic.” Jared said reasonably, cold, but with reason.

“I suppose you hate me now?” She said tensely.

“I don’t appreciate what you did to him then, but that was then. There’s nothing that can be done about that now.” Jared said trying to keep his voice even. “But yes, I’m upset with you, I don’t hate you, I’m disappointed that you would add to the already heaping burden of guilt.”

“We were both a little crazy then.” She admitted crying now, but softly. “What can we do?”

“Right now, I really don’t know, he will want to see you eventually and I can about bet how that will go.” Jared told her.

“Okay, we’ll wait for a call from you.” She said sniffing now.

“Sherri, I’m not going to keep you and Alan in the dark about his condition, I’ll be calling with updates.”

“Thank you son. Thank you so much.” She replied.

“I doing this for Jensen’s sake.” He said and disconnected the call. Then he placed another call.

 

“Jared?” Jerry answered. “I figured you’d both be too busy with your honeymoon to call us.” He joked. Then after a moment’s pause. “This isn’t a good call is it? What’s happened?” 

“Jensen’s had a relapse, he’s back in hospital.” Jared said then launched into the telling of the events that led up to his current state of affairs. 

“You’ve talked with Alan and Sherri?” Jerry asked.

“Yeah, just finished giving Sherri and update. It’s hard dad, it’s real hard to deal with them right now knowing what I know.” Jared told him.

“I know son. You want to personally yank then through the phone. I understand your anger. But just remember that this was a long time ago, time doesn’t heal all wounds, but it goes a ways in keeping the feelings from being overwhelming.” Jerry said.

“I just wanted y’all to know what was going on. I’ll call when there are updates.”

“You need us out there?” Jerry asked.

“Not right now. We’re managing pretty good and I’m trying to keep the number of faces he has to deal with right now to a minimum until we know exactly where we stand.” He said. Then paused and saw Dr. Branson looking up and down the hall. “Gotta go dad, Jensen needs me.”

“Okay love to you and Jensen. Take care of that boy.”

“I will dad.” Jared said disconnected and pocketing the phone. 

 

“I’ll leave you with him for now, I believe we’ve made a little progress. I’m not going to juggle his medications right now and add something else, but we’ll keep the Ativan on tap for episodes.” She said firmly. Then put her hand on his shoulder. “We got our work cut out for us.” She said and left.


	19. Chapter 19

Jared looked inside and saw that Jensen was lying in a fetal position on the bed. He walked over and crawled into bed with him pulling him close. Jensen melted into the hug and cried softly. Jared lay there with him, holding his hand and hugging him tightly. Jared rolled over and buried his face into Jared’s shoulder and wept. Jared held him and braced him through it all gently carding his hair with his fingers, then rubbing his back. 

 

Several minutes later Jensen sniffed a couple of times and let a long sigh escape. Only to look up to Jared and noticed his eyes were red rimmed, but his gaze at the wall and stony.

 

“Jared?” He asked.

“Hhm, oh, hey babe. Feel better now?” Jared asked.

“Getting there. What’s the matter with you. I’m made at your folks and I know you need them too, I don’t know how to handle that.”

“Don’t make me talk to them right now. It’s really not a good idea.” Jensen said his voice hardening.

“Jensen, I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to do. Especially where something like this were concerned.” 

There was a tap at the door and a nurse entered, “There’s a Father Jim Beaver here to see you, do you want to see him?” She asked.

Jensen nodded, trying to clean up his face some. Fr. Jim entered the room his face kindly and his gait relaxed.

He walked over to the bed and sat in the chair next to the bed. 

“Is there anything I can do for you son?” He asked.

“Father, nothing much shocks you does it?” Jensen asked.

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that. There are a few things that put the wind up me.” He said with a grin.

Jensen sat rolled on his back and held out his hands palm up. The old school marks visible now. 

“You want to know am I disappointed in you. I’m not. It takes someone with a lot of sorrow in their soul to do that. That much sorrow breaks my heart.” Fr. Jim said covering his wrists with his hands. “God understands and is a forgiving God.”

 

“I’m afraid I’ll do it again.” Jensen said frankly.

“I doubt that.” Fr. Jim said smiling gently.

“How can you be sure?” Jensen asked.

“Because you are talking about it. You’re admitting your weakness and you are seeking strength.” Then he looked at Jared. “I think you have a mountain of strength in your husband.” 

Jared looked at him his voice brittle now. “I wouldn’t be too sure of that Father.” He said his eyes tearing now and tracking his cheeks.

“You both are being tested. Not a fun way and not one which I recommend repeats on but the test will temper you both.” He said with a smile.

Jared tried to smile then failed. He and Jensen collapsed against each other in tears. Fr. Jim sat there like a silent sentinel watching over them protectively. Jared pulled back a moment and looked at Fr. Jim. 

“Padre, there are times I feel weak as a kitten and more vulnerable. I’m feeling like that now.”

Fr. Jim smiled kindly at them, “Now the time when you need to rely on each other. Not some flower platitude I could offer which would fall on deaf ears. I will say that God does hear your cries. And he is there to comfort you and understand you just like a daddy would. You two need some alone time more than you need me here to interrupt. I’ll drop by tomorrow and check in on you okay?”

“Sounds good, sorry Father.” Jensen said through his tears.

“Cuddle time is good time.” Fr. Jim said with a smile. Then he left them.

 

The lay for a long time just looking at each other curled up together trying to find peace. It was about ten minutes of their cuddling that Jared’s cell phone rang. 

 

“Yeah?” He said without even looking at the caller id.

“You okay man?” Christian asked. 

“No, dude, not really. What can I do for you?” Jared said tiredly.

“Fuck what you can do for me. What’s up?” Christian asked.

“Short version, we’re back at square one.” Jared said cradling Jensen’s cheek with his hand.

“Bad?” 

“Bad enough. We’re back in town in hospital, room 434, uh, I’ll get you put on the visitors list.” Jared told him.

“Wait, visitors list? You’re in the psych ward?” Christian said quickly.

“Right in one.” Jared said smartassedly.

“Fuck you Padalecki.” Christian shot back good naturedly.

“I might take you up on that one Chris.”

“Dude you do not sound good.” Christian noted.

“Yeah, I’ve been told that.” He said.

“So what can we do for ya?” Christian asked.

“Right now not much, visit us occasionally. I’m working on keeping Jensen’s spirits up.” He said quietly.

“Yeah but who’s working on you…oh fuck this, it’s going on noon, I’m going to grab a bite at the Score and then come on over. See you in about a half hour.”

“Okay…” Jared said tiredly and disconnected the call. “That was Screwball Kane, he’s coming over.”

“Okay, so how you holding out really?” Jensen asked. “Don’t lie I can hear it in your voice, your exhausted, and it’s all my fault.”

“You didn’t ask for this to happen, now we deal with the fallout and make things better.”

Jensen looked down a moment then in a small voice said, “I still love you enough to have your children.” That took Jared totally by surprise and noting the playful smile that was working across Jensen’s lips he had to grin in return. 

“Love you.” Jared said. “Look I’m going to step out to the nurse’s station and give them a list of acceptable visitors.”

“Okay. You mind if I tag along, I’m getting stove up just lying in bed.” 

“Come on kiddo. We’ll take a walk around the ward and get you limbered up.” Jared said smiling now. They went out to the nurse’s station and after a brief moment had them a list of folk they would permit to visit for right now. Then they walked the ward. On the way back to the room the nurse met then at his rooms door. 

“We do have a crafts hour daily, and there is a workout room with aerobics exercise, treadmills, stuff like that.”

 

“For real, a physical type room?” Jensen asked excitedly.

“Some folks prefer that as a means to relax.” She told them. “Lunch will be served shortly. You know you can take your meals in our cafeteria as well.”

“I didn’t think you wanted patients off the floor.”

“Oh you don’t understand we are pretty much self-contained with our own cafeteria.” She said. Then her phone rang so she excused herself. Allowing Jared and Jensen to go into the room and get comfortable while waiting for the lunch cart to come around. The lunch trays arrives ten minutes later and then in an additional ten, so did Christian. He was admitted to the ward and came into Jensen’s room like a god with a toothache.

 

“What the fuck is this all about?” Christian asked, his anger showing his concern.

Jared sighed and was about to launch into the tale he was getting used to now when Jensen elbowed him. “I’ll take this one. It started with a morning walk by the lakeside…” He started the telling. “…and I freaked out my systems on overload right now, and there are certain things that’ll trigger an episode.”

“Such as…?” Christian asked curiously. Jensen sighed and shrugged.

 

“My parents for one, loud noises, tires squealing will ramp up my tension level. We’re just now discovering the triggers.” Jensen said tiredly. “You’ve already heard the gory details so I’ll spare you that. There’s just some shit that’ll set me off like a roman candle.” 

“Okay fair enough. What can the house do to help?” Christian asked.

“Just drink one for me for every on you drink.” Jensen joked. “Seriously, not much, we’re pretty well taken care of. Christian there’s just one thing you need to know.” Christian looked at him puzzled, “You never took a close look at my arms have you?” 

 

“What are you on about now?” Christian said suddenly nervous. Jensen showed him his wrists. 

“I’m not proud of them, but I’m trying to come clean with everyone.” He said.

Christian took his wrist gently in his hand and looked at the scar, the flipped his own hand over showing off a similar scar.

“Chris?” Jensen said in a small voice

“Yeah bro, been there done that.” IT took a moment but Jensen smiled slowly. 

“Nice to know I’m not the only dumbass around here.”

Christian bridled and stared at him. “I’ll have you know my ass is a lot of things but dumb it isn’t.”

“Nah, for a straight guy it’s kinda cute. All round and perky.” Jensen said laughing a little.

Jared about doubled over on that one. “The Kanester has a round and perky ass.”

“Well he does.” Jensen said defensively. 

“And living in a frat house like we did I got to see it bare on occasion, and I’ll also have you know he’s packing.”

“Okay now that’s getting into territory I’m not comfortable with.” Christian said nervously blushing. “We have so got to bust you out of this place.” 

“No can do man, I’m in for the duration.” Jensen argued.

“Oh come on, well at least I might be able to slip a six pack in here.” Christian said with a chuckle.

“Now you’re talking.” Jared said. 

 

There was a knock at the door shortly and the nurse entered carrying a vase with 2 dozen roses arranged. There was a card pinned to the bow. Jared got the card unpinned as Christian and Jensen looked on interestedly. Jared note the envelope was specifically addressed to Jensen Ackles-Padalecki, and the florist even got it spelled right. Jensen looked at him a moment and Jared passed him the card with some reticence.

He opened the envelope and read the card, then wadded it up and threw it across the room , rolling on his side fighting tears valiantly.

 

“Get them out of here.” He said brokenly.

“Sure man.” Jared said taking the flowers out to the nurse’s station. “I know it’s a lot to ask but do you have a cooler or something these can be put in for a day or two at least until Jensen’s ready for this?” 

“I’m sorry sir, we’ve got a cooler in the kitchen but it’s stocked full.”

“Oh okay, thanks. Enjoy them.” He said sitting the vase on the desk. 

Going back into the room he saw that Jensen was sullenly withdrawn with angry tears. Christian had retrieved the card and unrolled it flinching slightly. He showed it to Jared who looked at it then pocketed it. The card bore a simple message. “Hope you can forgive me. Mom.” Then came a second gift, a huge snacks basket. The card to it read. “Knowing you both like junk food here’s enough to do you a day or so. Jerry & Donna.” Jared sat it to the side and told Jensen where that one came from, just just nodded. 

 

“You got some serious anger going on there dude.” Christian said quietly.

“Let’s take a walk.” Jared said. “We’ll be right back, just hang tough for a few minutes.”

Jensen nodded numbly and Jared took Christian down the hall and explained everything that he knew about the case. Christian swore in his usual manner and got a dark look of his own anger. Then started back to the room, inside Christian immediately walked over to the bed and sat down on the side face Jensen. 

 

“I’m no good at this kind of thing, you know that. But you were given a fucking, bum rap over that issue dude.” Christian said. Jensen looked up at him with quiet thanks as the tears fell. In a rare gesture Christian reached out and grabbed Jensen’s shoulder and squeezed a little. Christian then looked at the door and noting that it was closed pulled a hip flask from his pocket unscrewed the lid and passed it to Jensen who took a long pull on it. Then wiped the lip and passed it back to Christian.

 

“Thanks man.” He said huskily.

“You’re holding it together better’n most. Just hand tough man, I’ll talk to the council and we’ll keep an eye out on the apartment.”

“Appreciate that. But I’m not worried about it getting invaded by the rents. Something tells me mom is going to wait a while on this.”

“She’s waiting for permission.” Jared told him.

“I’ll think about it.” Jensen told him.

“When you’re ready babe.” Jared told him.

“I’m going to get back to the house now and let Harry and Chad at least in on what’s going on they got your back as well.” Christian said.

“Thanks.” Jensen said in a dead voice now. 

“Hey! Come on dude, don’t be like this.” Christian said.

“I don’t know how else to be right now.” Jensen said. 

“I know man, it sucks. There’s gotta be something good you remember.” Christian said.

“Oh there is, that’s the problem. I can remember a lot of the good times. It just this wrinkle that fucks the whole thing up.” Jensen said looked directly at Christian. 

“Hang tough dude!” Christian said as he left. 

Jared looked at Jensen then climbing into the bed, pulled Jensen up against him firmly. They lay like that until the supper cart came around. They ate in silence then turning on the TV finding EPSN lost themselves in a soccer match for a while. Finally they switched off the television and took a long walk around the ward passing their rooms door four times. After the third time the desk nurse asked them if there was a ritual to this or just exercise. Jensen had to smile as he replied it was just for exercise. Upon reaching the room, they got out their iPad and used the hospital’s wifi system to access the internet and do some surfing. Jensen noted that he had some emails waiting so he took a brief look at them. One of them from his father wanting to basically know why he was avoiding them. That one made him angry, quite angry, so angry in fact that he held out his hand to Jared.

 

“Huh?” 

“Cell phone please.” Jensen asked.

Jared passed it over without thinking. Jensen speed dialed his parents number. It was thankfully his father that picked up.

“Jared?” Alan said

“Close.” Jensen replied.

“Son! We’ve been waiting to hear from you.” Alan said.

“Well now you have, I’m in therapy, and in hospital if you must know why, ask mother about the Spring of 1991. That should ring a real bell considering it was the time I was committed for slashing my wrists.” 

Jared’s head came up sharply and he lunged for the phone Jensen rolling just out of reach. 

“So that was a hard time for all of us.” Alan said trying to be reasonable. “Your mother’s quite upset.”

“I would suspect she would be. She just has to live with the death of Ally, I have to live the being the cause of Ally’s death.” With that he passed the phone to Jared.

“Jensen! You weren’t the cause…”

“Jared here.” He said. “Right now’s really not a good time. I don’t know what possessed him to call in the frame of mind he is in…”

Jensen whirled his eyes blazing. Jared fixed him with a glare. 

“He’s upset understandably.”

“No, I don’t think you understand at all, I’m barely coming to understand. All I know is that he is suddenly having a total recall of those months and it’s not pretty. I told you we’d try to call with updates. I am assuming you sent him an email trying to coerce his participation in a communication with you. I trust you now see how such emails will be received.”

“Did he get the flowers we sent?” Alan asked.

“Yes and he gave them to the nurses on duty.”

“Alan, I’m going to say this again and I hope it sinks in this time. I will call you with periodic updates. Jensen will call when he has calmed down. But right now, don’t expect that anytime too soon. Now I will go and calm my husband down, good night.” Jared said disconnecting the call.

“That was totally unfair!” Jensen started.

“No, what was unfair was you letting your dad get his claws into you. As to you getting mad with me over the ‘frame of mind’ statement, tell me that I was lying. Tell me that what I told him was a flat out lie, that your frame of mind is actually just hunky dory, just like during the wedding. Goddamn it Jensen, I’m trying to help you here and you’re sabotaging the doctors efforts and mine by doing this.”

Jensen walked over and collapsed on the bed. “Got a knife handy.”

“That’s not even funny, and even if I did, we might as well slash them together, because I wouldn’t want to be left behind.” Jared sat back patiently. 

“Look I know where suicides are bound, I wouldn’t…” Jensen said.

“Maybe you do, or maybe you think you do. I don’t’ think we know any of that until our number is punched.” Jared said tiredly. “Damn Jensen, you’re the one that’s supposed to be crazy here and I’m the one holding it together for the both of us.”

Jensen felt all the fight leave him and he looked at Jared sorrowfully. “I’m so sorry, I…I haven’t been thinking clearly obviously.” 

Jared walked over to the window in the room that looked down one of the parking lots. “Jens, I love you, I want us to grow old together, and all that sappy stuff. But we gotta get through this first. Please, I begging you, don’t sabotage the works again. Don’t let them get to you like this again. Please!” 

“Okay, I won’t, I promise.” Jensen said tiredly. Jared walked over and sat down in bed with him and looked at him his eyes filling. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry to put you through this.” Jensen said pulling him down into an embrace.

 

The cuddled on the bed like that until they both fell asleep. They didn’t wake until sometime late into the night early into the morning and only then to strip down and crawl under the covers. That morning they woke at their normal time, showered and made ready to face the day. Dr. Branson came through on her morning rounds and they spoke of the previous evening. She looked severely at both of them. 

 

“No phone calls with them in here until I give the go ahead. I’m not telling you to cut off communication entirely but you see that this has set up back a step.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Jensen said startled. 

“Okay, let’s look at what was said and what was actually accomplished.

 

An hour later and she had departed to see her next scheduled appointment on her rounds. Jensen looked a little ruffled, not angry, just surprised. 

 

“She’s a right old bitch when she wants to be isn’t she?” Jared said.

Jensen thought for a moment and then shook his head. “She didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.” 

“Maybe but it was how she said it.” Jared noted.

“No, I had it coming to me. I should’ve known better than to have had let that email get the better of me last night.” Jensen admitted reasonably.

“You’re certainly being forgiving about this.” Jared told him.

“What do you want me to do rave and rage until one of the nurses comes in here with a syringe?” He said tiredly.

“Jens, baby, you’re giving up.” Jared said.

“No, I’m just facing facts. Getting angry isn’t going to solve problems. It’ll just create more. 

There was a tap at the door and a single rose, bud vase was brought in and sat on his table. He opened the card. Jensen smiled then and passed the card to Jared. “With love, Dani and Gen.” 

Later that morning two more deliveries arrived one from the church, a European garden that was filled with beautiful green plants and a single African Violet; and another from the Omega’s house, a bud vase of a half dozen blooms of yellow roses. Jensen became oddly withdrawn for the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon, answering questions polite enough but not engaging in conversation. 

 

“You feeling okay?” Jared asked after a while.

“Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed is all. I mean I’m used to being the sender of flowers not the receiver.” He said and then was quiet again as Jared took him by the hand and they went on their second walk of the ward for the day. He flipped channels that afternoon and found an aerobics show on FIT TV. He made a mental note of when it came on and Jared watched as he used the available floor space to go through the motions. He was exhausted and happy by the end of the show. Then he retreated into his shell again. It was that evenings visit from Dr. Branson that told her a great deal. She’d asked Jared to leave which he was concerned about and caught the look in Jensen’s eye. They kissed and parted for the hour. It was no surprise that when Jared stepped out of the room to see a face peering into the wards closed door, it was Chad. The nurses finally admitted him and he nearly ran to Jared when the door unlocked. 

 

“How is he?!” He blurted.

“I think we might be turning a corner, I hope so anyway. He’s in with his therapist now. In fact it’s about time for her shift to be over. That was when he saw a nurse with a syringe entering the room. Jared bolted with Chad at his heels. Jensen was convulsing and crying. The injection was into his IV line and in moments he settled down. Jensen spun on Dr. Branson.

“WELL!” Jared said.

“We were revisiting his childhood, the memories are too powerful for him. But we’re going to continue to work through this until he is able to handle them. To bury them would be more detrimental.”

“Like this isn’t lady!?” Chad started. He ran over to the bed and clutched at Jensen who saw who it was and relax a modicum.

“I’m sorry this happened. But this is why we are together right now to get these haunts exorcised. Jared you may stay for the duration of this meeting, you sir may go.”

“Wait for me outside Chad.” Chad got up warily and walked out of the room as Jared slid in next to Jensen. 

“I’m here babe, it’s me, Jared, come babe relax and let’s through this together. “ Jared told him quietly, holding him close, and rocking him slightly.

“I’ll be okay.” He cried.

“I’m here with you Jen. Just relax.” 

The Ativan was taking effect now and he was slowly calming, the fetal position easing, leaning into Jared’s strength. After several more minutes Dr. Branson continued.

 

“You were going to run and get your mother, but you were frozen to the spot correct?” 

“Uh-huh. I c-couldn’t m-m-move.” He sobbed. “Mom heard the sound of the car braking and came out the door, she was in worse shape than me right then. “

“What about your brother?” She asked.

“He was shooting hoops on the driveway, he came running down shouting, “What did you do now brat.”’” Jensen said almost tonelessly. 

Dr. Branson paused a moment and let him relax a bit more.

“It was after the funeral when your mother started abusing you?” Branson asked.

“Yeah, I went to the hospital for falling down a lot, I fell a lot back then. She blamed me for that too. She said I was just trying to get attention.” Jensen said.

“Falling down, like how?” She asked.

“Seizures, my mind’s way of handling the stress the doctor told mom. It was okay though cause mom was on Valium. Once she was out of pills and it was bad. She got all crazy.” Jensen said regressively talking.

“What did she do to you when she missed her medications.” Dr. Branson asked dispassionately.

“She would burst out, slapping, she was real good slapping. She should’ve played tennis, she had a mean backhand serve.” Jensen said in a moment of humour.

“That’s it Jensen, that’s the way to deal with this, make a joke out of it, even though it is not a laughing matter.” Dr. Branson advised. She looked at her watch. “Okay hon, that’s all for today, we’ll pick up here in the morning. For this part would you feel better about having Jared with you?” She asked.

“Please?!” He pleaded.

“Okay, try to get some rest now, this has been a traumatic experience for you. Just rest okay?” 

“I will, thank you Doctor.” Jensen said calmly. Dr. Branson rose and started for the door. 

“I’ll be right back Jens, stay put okay?” Jared asked.

“Sure.” 

In the hallway Dr. Branson turned to Jared. “I’m not adding anything to his regimen, although at this point in time he could benefit from Thorazine at least until we are through the more traumatic parts.”

“I’ll discuss it with him. How long would he be on this medication?” Jared asked.

“No more than a month.” She said thinking as she turned to go.

“Side effects?” He asked.

“Ask him, he’s pre-med, he’ll know.” Dr. Branson said. “See you in the morning.”

As she left Chad walked back up and grabbed Jared by the arm. “You’re letting Dr. Frankenfurter handle him?”

“I admit her techniques are cold but she got results before. What I don’t want is for Jensen to become some frigging drugged zombie.”

“Which is what Thorazine would do.” Chad bit off. “It’s an antipsychotic, a calming agent. One step above Rohypnol.” Chad told him.

“And how do you know about this stuff?” Jared asked.

“I had a grannie in the nursing home on Thorazine. She was a fucking space case afterwards.” Chad said viciously. “But like the doc said, let’s ask Jen.” They walked back in the room, Jared pained inwardly as he saw the case his husband had become over the realization of what he’d seen as a teen. The shock to his system was apparent and great. He wasn’t in a fetal position anymore he was however lying on his back staring at the ceiling. Jared went over and slipped into bed beside him. Pulling him close.

 

“Jensen. Babe I need you with me a minute.” 

“I’m with you Jay. Freaked out but with you.” Jensen said solemnly.

“Jen, she was saying that Thorazine would be good to use on you for about a month. What is your opinion?” Jared asked.

“Take me home.” Jensen said.

“Jen…”

“Jay, I can heal as fast at home as I can here. And at least at home I don’t have to worry about whacked out moments in time like that.” 

“No you can’t Jens. I can’t be with you 24/7. Right now for better or worse you’re where you need to be. But I swear to be more involved in your sessions.”

“If you can do that, I think I can manage it. About the Thorazine though, not only no, but fucking hell no. That was one of the drugs they used on Mom in the hospital. I saw what it done to her. Yeah I know that in modified dosages the effects can be much less drastic, but I don’t want to be anywhere near that shit.”

 

He sighed and looked over at Chad, “I’m sorry you had to witness that spectacle I made of myself. She uh, she was making me relive as much as I could remember. What happened was a secondary burst of total recall. And I recalled how with, amazing clarity, I just stood there while my sister was bleeding out on the asphalt. And further how I could see that the impact had caused immediate trauma to the point of splitting her skull.” Jensen said calmly. Then he whipped around and buried his face in Jared’s shirt and sobbed again.


	20. Chapter 20

“You see what we’re dealing with here, Chad. There’s nothing wrong with Jen except post-traumatic stress, but it’s magnified due to the time lapse.” Jared said looking at his friend, who’d joined him on the other side of the bed. “How are your injuries, by the way?” 

“The worst is over with, I’m still black and blue from the bruising I took, the bastards are in jail now awaiting trial, the rupture has healed, all said and done I’m a very lucky sonofabitch.” Chad noted. “So what do we do?” 

“I’m going to be prepared for a rough night of it, but I’m going to check with the nurse as to every injection or pill he gets that’s not on his regularly scheduled timeframe.” Just then the door opened and the nurse entered carrying a pill cup.

 

“What’s this?” Jared asked suspiciously.

“Risperidone, 4mg. Dr. Branson wants him back on it for the duration of his stay with us.”

“Oh okay. I’m sorry but she suggested Thorazine and we about wigged out ourselves.” 

“She changed her game plan. She knew he had a history on this, so the addition will help with mood-stabilization.” Jensen was quiet now and laying against Jared’s side. He sighed and sat up extending his hand and took the tablet then downed it with a drink of water. 

She looked at Chad. “Sir, visiting hours will be over in fifteen minutes.” 

“No problem. I’m going, uh, call me if I can help.” Chad told him.

“I will thanks bro.” Jared mentioned.

“See you later Chadderbox.” Jensen said playfully.

Chad rolled his eyes. “I thought I’d lived that one down.” He said then smiled. “Take care of yourself Jenny. We want you back whole.” 

“I want me back whole.” Jensen said as Chad left. 

 

Several minutes passed then with just the two of them, something which Jared was grateful for. They lay together on the bed until Jared could feel Jensen starting to relax into sleep. Jared continued to lie there and hold him as he slept, his guardian angel enveloping him protectively in his figurative wings. Nine o’clock came and went with Jensen sleeping peacefully for the time being enwrapped in Jared’s embraced. Jared himself started to doze when he felt Jensen jerking in his sleep. He didn’t try to fight him on these but just permitted himself to be a human pillow he could convulse against. Jensen did started to go into a nightmare stage at several points up until midnight when he finally passed that realm of sleep that dreams occur in and was well and truly under. At one point however, he woke Jared with whimpering and moaning in his sleep as well as a stiffness his body. Jared started rubbing his back and whispering to him over and over again. “I’m here baby. I’ve got you.” With that he settled down and eased into sleep. During the evening Jared found that nature was calling him desperately so he eased out of Jensen’s grasp and went to the bathroom, Jensen woke unsteadily, missing his human pillow and then hearing him in the bathroom eased back down on the bed. Jared came out after a moment, washed and dried his hands and then came back to bed. Jensen was lying there staring at him sleepily. 

 

“Hey babe. You want to crawl under the covers? You’d be more comfortable.” 

“Sure.” Jensen said slowly rolling out of bed to throw back that blanket and sheet for he and Jared. Jared undressed and crawled into bed with him and together they snuggled under the blanket with Jensen the little spoon. In moments seemingly he was back asleep and quickly passed the stages of sleep to that deep level where dreams do not intrude. Jared slept as well and peacefully.

 

At 6:30 the next morning they were awake and making ready for the day. The nurse making her rounds looked in and saw that Jensen was pulling on his scrubs top. She smiled glad to see the reported events from the previous evening had no apparent lasting effects. A short while later the breakfast cart came around and they had breakfast waiting for the morning regimen to start. Jared and Jensen were both sitting up when the morning RN was making her rounds. He noted that the room was in order so there was nothing to report out of the ordinary. 

 

“How are you doing this morning?” She asked kindly.

“Feeling much better thank you.” Jensen said politely.

“That’s how you’re really feeling or are you telling me what I want to hear?” She asked rhetorically.

“And they said I’m paranoid.” Jensen shot with a playful smile.

“Touché!” She replied laughing. “Glad to see you in a good humour. Dr. Branson will be delighted after last night. That was hard on you wasn’t it?” She asked politely.

“It was more traumatic than I would’ve preferred.” Jensen admitted.

“And you, Jared?” She asked.

“We had a good night, he had a few nightmares but nothing significant.” Jared responded.

“I wish more of our patients had spouses like you.” She said meaningfully then waved to them and left. 

 

And after an hour more Dr. Branson came in on her morning visit. She asked pretty much the same introductory questions and received slightly more detailed answers. Then she turned her attention to Jared. “Please remember that you’re in here as a stabilizing influence for Jensen, you are not here to answer for him or to influence his answers in any way.”

“I can deal with that.” Jared said as they prepared to go into the meat of the visit.

“Yesterday we were talking about the scene of the accident, have you remembered anything else that might be of help?” She asked.

Jensen looked at his hands for a moment and shook his head. 

“You’re sure?” She pressed.

“The most I remember is finding Ally with her skull caved in by the driver. The driver came around and saw what had happened and went into hysterics, I was numb.” Jensen said his voice brittle and dispassionate.

“What did you think about what you saw?” She asked.

“I was thinking she was the perfect little girl, how could something so horrendous happen to someone so innocent.” He said with tears in his voice.

“Then you mother came down.” Dr. Branson prompted.

“Yeah, she heard the squeal of the car stopping and came to the door when she saw me standing by the roadside. She thought for a moment it was me that nearly got hit, then she came down to scold me and saw it was Ally, she immediately panicked. I remember running in the house and calling 911. Then I went down to mom who was kneeling by Ally. She saw me and all of the sudden her grief changed to rage and she shook me by the shirt fronts screaming at me. “How could you do this? How could you let something like this happen to your little sister?” she screamed at me then she threw me to the ground and went back to sobbing over Ally.”

“That had to pretty traumatic for you, do you remember how you felt?” Now Jensen was sitting there with his arms wrapped around himself sobbing. Jared had his arms wrapped protectively around him, holding him.

“I really don’t know, I don’t remember anything after that except going into the kitchen one day while mom was in town buying groceries. I figured I could do this and there wouldn’t be anything to do but find my body and she didn’t care about me anyway so what could it hurt. I remember how carefully the blade cut even with the quick slashes. But of course, I cut the wrong way and while I bled considerably it wasn’t deep enough to cause death. Mom came in and saw me on the floor in a pool of blood. I was still pretty conscious. Then I remember her screaming and running in, grabbing the phone and calling an ambulance. I was treated then for the cuts and put on the psych ward for a bit. Mom said later something about suicide watch and how I should be grateful to her for finding me. She was always preachy back then. That’s when the slaps started. She would be peeling potatoes and if I walked by she would round on me then slap me for scaring her. She was strung out on Valium and liquor then. Dad was trying to help manage but all he could do was take care of her. We were second thoughts until one day he came in and saw the black eye that I had got from one of mom’s swings. I was in the bedroom with an ice pack on it trying to get the swelling to go down. Mom told me I got that at school and I’d best remember that if I didn’t want worse to happen. Worse happened.” Jensen is rocking now and sobbing. 

“Okay let’s take a breather for you.” Dr. Branson said and sat back, Jensen leaned into Jared’s grasp broken. After about ten minutes Dr. Branson sat forward. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to take what you’ve told me and work with that to help you overcome the attack and the numbness. We’re going to work together on this and come out good at the other end of the rainbow. But I need your help to do this. You’re emotions are going to be raw for a while, we’ll venture back here and revisit these events until you can view them with as little upset as possible. Some psychologists would suggest burying the events behind a wall that would be created through hypnosis. I don’t happen to agree with that assessment as most of the time when something like that happens you tend to open up an entirely new can of worms. So we’re going to play it another way. We’re going on the attack. You’ll be raw, like I said, but you’ll heal as well. Eventually you are going to have to talk with your mother about this, we’ll do that together as well. But step by step we’re going to bring you around.” She paused. “Now, I want you to relax for me. Go through the relaxation execises that you have learned already. Jared lay down with him.”

Together Jared and Jensen stretched out on the bed, Jensen crying harder now as the memories of the event flooded him harshly. 

“What? Jensen hon what is it? What do you remember?” Dr. Branson asked urgently.

“T-Todd S-s-smith, he w-was the n-nurse on the w-w-ward who at n-n-night would come in a pump me full of drugs. Sometimes I’d wake up and find him giving me a b-blow job. I d-didn’t like it then c-cause it was f-fforced on me.” 

Dr. Branson made several quick notes and nodded. “Okay, we’ll work on that as well. How do you feel now about your sexuality?” She asked.

“I l-love J-j-jared.” He said brokenly. 

She nodded and stood. “Would you like to have me order up some Ativan for you?”

“No thanks.” He said as he clung to Jared. “I’ll b-be okay now.” He said trying to control the sobs and slowly getting them back under a semblance of control.

“Okay, we’ll talk some more this evening, for now get some rest.” She ordered and smiled at both Jared and Jensen, then left.

 

Jensen curled up against Jared and held on tightly. Seemingly to have vented the worst of the spleen. He finally cried himself to sleep. Jared continued to hold him as he dozed fitfully. He finally woke at one point and looked at Jared.

 

“Thanks.” Jensen said to him his emotions still rich in his voice.

“For?” Jared said puzzled.

“For staying with me, not giving up on me.” Jensen said. “Anyone else would have been running for the hills as soon as this shit started coming out.”

“It’s a good thing then that I’m not anyone else.” Jared said with a smile. Then he kissed Jensen on the forehand and then a firm kiss on the mouth.

“I wish we were at home.” Jensen said. “I would love for you to make love to me.”

“Will this suffice for now.” Jared said as he started stroking Jensen.

“Oh God, you know just how hard to squeeze.” Jensen said with a smile as he groaned his pleasure. He started rocking his hips in time to the thrusts. “Oh God, Jared I’m about to…” Jared was swift and had his mouth on the cock sucking as he exploded in an orgasm. Jared kept sucking and milking until he’d got every drop. He loved him with his mouth a few more minutes and then pulled back up in bed and snuggled next to him.

 

“Did that help?” Jared asked.

“Didn’t hurt.” Jensen said with a smile. “Only you can make me feel this sexy.” 

“You’re the only one for me.” Jared responded as they kissed. There was a tap at the door then. Jared started at the intrusion but looked up and saw that it was Christian. He came in carrying a huge basket of snacks all wrapped up in cellophane with a balloon pinned to the bow on top.

“We didn’t know what to get and Chad came up with this idea.”

“Thanks Chris. That’s perfect.” Jensen said with a smile.

“So how are you doing today?” Christian asked. 

“Feeling some better. Hey three days down eleven to go.” He said with a smile.

“You feel like you’re making some progress?” Christian asked.

“Yeah I really do.” Jensen said.

“How about you Jay-rod, how’s it hanging?” Christian asked.

“About ten inches and half hard.” Jared answered with a smile.

“That wasn’t what I meant.” Christian glowered.

“I know but you’re too much fun not to play with a little.” Jared responded. Christian then launched into his newscaster mode and started revealing all the good dirt that was fit to dish up on the house. He had them both laughing and sputtering by the end. 

 

He hung around talking with them until lunchtime then said his goodbyes for the time being. He warned them that the next basket they were going to make up would be a sex toy basket. That had them both laughing hard. That afternoon Jared and Jensen asked about the workout room and was shown to at large hospital room painted in brighter colours with mirrors on one wall to give the impression of an expansion of space with two execise bikes and two treadmills, a bench and some freeweights. Jensen and Jared took to the treadmills and setting the speed of the belt went on an imaginary jog around their block. They actually went for about a 4 mile jog which made them proud. Afterwards they went back to the room where it was about time for the aerobics program to come on and Jensen worked out to that, then they both grabbed a necessary shower. It was about three hours before the Dinner cart was to come around. 

“Hey I’m going to ride over to the school and get out courses changed around real quick.” Jared said.

“Oh okay, but don’t count on getting it done ‘real quick’.” Jensen said.

“You’ll be all right?” Jared asked.

“Go! I’ll be fine.” Jensen said smiling. “Besides if I’m not a shot of Ativan is a pushbutton away.”

“Don’t say it like that.” Jared said bending down and kissing Jensen. “Be back as quick as I can. Hey how about I stop and pick up some the hot cocoa we like from the deli.”

“Hey if you can’t give me sex, that’ll work!” Jensen teased.

Jared waved as he left the room. He was gone about 15 minutes when a tap came at the door and Fr. Jim stuck his head in.

“You’re looking better today.” Was his opening comment.

“Got a good workout in and had a pretty good session this morning, so not too bad at all.” Jensen told him with a smile.

“The prayer chain’s been started for you, folks don’t know the full reason you’re in hospital only that you’re in and you’re not permitted visitors. That last was a bit of a white lie. But we didn’t want you inundated.”

“Understand that.” Jensen said with a smile.

“So really, how is therapy going for you?” Fr. Jim asked.

“Painful, I’m recalling stuff from my teen years that my mind and drugs had covered up. Today I remembered when I attempted suicide. I cut the wrong way.” He mumbled.

“Lucky for us that you did. Jensen, there are no quick and easy solutions to your problem, and the mind that contemplates suicide is one to be treated with gentle care because that mind is so fragile and so vulnerable. Have you considered it since the incident?” Fr. Jim asked.

“Not really, I got depressed from time to time and didn’t want to go out for no apparent reason, and there were times when I would just have a crying jag for no reason either. But now I’m finally coming to realize what the source for all that was.” Jensen said soberly.

“The important thing is that you’re recognizing this now and you’re in a place that can help. I agree some psychological treatment methods today are a bit drastic, but there are ways to combat mental illness. The first step is doing what you’ve basically been put in the position of having to do.” Fr. Jim told him.

“It wasn’t my idea.” Jensen said with mock sourness.

“I know son, but at least they’re here to help you.” Fr. Jim said in all seriousness. 

“And they are.” Jensen said. 

 

“Jared not here right now?” Fr. Jim asked kindly.

“N-no he’s over at the school taking care of getting our courses changed.” Jared said he nervousness starting to show.

“It’s okay son, he’ll be coming right back.” Fr. Jim told him.

“I don’t know why, I’m not worth the trouble.” Jensen said depreciatively .

“Why do you think that?” Fr. Jim asked.

Jensen sighed and looked away for a moment gathering his thoughts then he looked at their priest. “I’m nothing, I’m a loser, I’ve been abused and couldn’t even recall it until the other day. I’m a mental triple dip sundae with plenty of nuts added.”

“Okay, you’ve got some serious mental issues going on right now, there are dozens in this wing who also do, what makes you any different?” Fr. Jim said.

“Nothing I suppose except I’m married to one of the most beautiful men in the state of California who deserves better.” Jensen said moping.

“You know, you’re right, he does deserve better, you both do you both deserve not having you wallowing in the self-pity. Jensen troubles come, troubles go, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It just make you a person marked with a will to succeed. And you’ve got to grasp that will and take it for a ride.” Fr. Jim told him baldly.

“Not exactly the type of advice I was expecting to get.” Jensen sulked slightly.

“Well I’m sorry but it’s not my duty to ride the train with you or hold your hand, it’s my job to show you that there is a way out and it’s not through slashing your wrists, or downing pills, or using a gun. Suicide is not an answer as it just leaves those left behind with remnants to pick up sort out and tuck away safely. So no harm can come to them.” Fr. Jim paused a moment. “And incidentally young man, Jared, myself and at least 200 other people love you enough to give a damn about what happens to you.”

“So you’re telling me…”

“I’m telling you that if you look under the covers and pull down your drawers you will a dick, and right under them should be a set of balls, pull yourself up by them and get on with life. You CAN work through this Jensen. I have faith that you CAN survive this. But only if you let yourself survive it.”

Jensen was trembling now, his nerves starting to excite from the conversation. “I w-want to F-father, b-but there’s s-so much st-stacked against me. “

“Do you want me to phone Jared and give him a heads up to get back over here?” Fr. Jim asked concerned now as he moved his chair closer to the chair that Jensen was sitting up in. 

“I w-want t-to but it’s s-s-s-so hard sometimes.” Jensen said his confused voice becoming more brittle. 

“Let’s get you back to bed.” Fr. Jim said rising. Jensen suddenly went into full blown panic mode and fell out of the chair onto the floor convulsing. The priest quickly pressed the emergency call button in the room and ran back to Jensen with a pillow to protect his head. The nurses were in there in moments, with one injecting Ativan straight into his vein. He continued to convulse for a moment and then relaxed. The two nurses with the help of Fr. Jim got him back into bed. 

“See what I mean?” Jensen said in a whisper. 

The nurses checked him over and then left them. Fr. Jim stood up walked over to the bed got his mouth down to Jensen’s ear and whispered in a tone for him alone. “Whether you believe it or not, God has got a plan for you and it’s not to die in self-pity and self-loathing. He partnered you with Jared for a very special reason. That’s what you have to believe.” He pulled back looking into Jensen’s tear filled eyes. His bent forward and kissed his forehead and told him “Take a nap son. I’m gonna stay right here until Jared comes back.”

“Sorry…”Jensen apologized.


	21. Chapter 21

Jared got the paperwork at school straightened out in record time actually, a little over an hour but he managed to tackle the paperwork tiger. Then he went by the apartment dropped off their dirty clothing in the hamper and picked up fresh boxers and a clean change of clothing for himself. He finished and whistling stopped at the deli and picked up two custom cups of their special hot chocolate that Jensen loved so much. He then threaded traffic got back to the hospital and into record time, finally arriving at the security door, after clearance he entered and went immediately to the room where he found Jensen in bed with Fr. Jim sitting close by. Jensen appeared to be sleeping but it was disturbing to Jared. So he sat the cup caddy with their hot chocolate down on the hospital table and sat on the bed. He looked questioningly at Fr. Jim.

“We were talking when he started having an anxiety attack that went into a full blown panic attack. He convulsed for a short while and was given some medication then we got him back into bed.” Fr. Jim reported. 

 

Jared ran his hands worriedly through his hair fighting the urge to scream. “I don’t know what to do, I literally can’t stay here all the time right now, I want to but there is so much to do that I can’t.” Jared said sounding very fragile. Fr. Jim walked around the bed and sat down next to him. Gently but firmly pulling him down into a hug. 

“No one is saying you have to be a bastion of strength at all hours. You’re fighting a hard battle here. Jensen’s mental health is at stake, but you’re a fragile human as well and you need to let go now and then.” Jared dissolved now in a comforting hug of someone who could understand the pressure he was under. He sat there and sobbed for several minutes his tension draining. Finally he quietened some and heard a sound behind him. It was Jensen who was stirring and he was trying to reach out to Jared. 

“Come here handsome.” Jensen said as Jared turned to embrace him and cry anew. Fr. Jim nodded and stood from his place by the bed. 

“And on this note I will bid you a good evening.” He said smiling gently. 

“Thanks Father.” Jensen called softly over Jared’s head. Fr. Jim gave him two thumbs up.

 

After the priest was gone Jensen held Jared and let him vent. “That’s it babe, you deserve a chance to cry as well. God knows you’ve put up with enough of my crying.” Jensen said carding his fingers through Jared‘s hair. After several minutes Jared straightened up slowly and looked at Jensen.

Jared looked up at one point prepared to speak through his tears; but Jensen placed a finger to his lips. “It’s your turn to vent. God knows you’ve listened to me carry on long enough.” 

Jared smiled weakly, and laid his head on Jensen’s chest and softly cried now. The worst of the pain was passed now. He finally sniffed and sighed heavily. “I just try stay strong for you. I vent sometimes at night when you’re asleep.” He admitted. 

“Quit hiding your emotions, we’ve got to share. Even if it hurts.” Jensen said. “There is just so much that we can handle, and we’re shoving too much onto the back burner.” The Jensen took his left hand and pressed their wedding bands together. “This means we share the good and the bad. And you’ve been sharing plenty of my bad, it’s only fair.” He repeated.

Jared nodded quietly and snuggled back into Jensen’s warmth. 

 

The dinner cart came around and the delivery was made quietly as they were dozing. The smell of the meal was what woke Jared whose stomach put in a protest of having gone without lunch. Of course Jensen wasn’t much better. So they sat up in bed cross legged across from each other and ate in peace. It was quiet that evening with only the night sky through the window their entertainment. They left the TV silent for a change just reveling in the quiet time between the two of them. That was the way they finally drifted off to sleep. 

 

Sleep that evening was peaceful with only a couple of disturbances, bad dreams mostly on Jensen’s part, and again Jared gentled him down and kept a firm hug on his body. That next morning they woke to the sounds to a disturbance in the hall Jensen padded over to the door and peer out to see several yard from his door where the main entrance doors were to the ward one of the patients beating at the door. A nurse came by and stopped when she saw Jensen.

 

“It’s okay sweetie, complication with some medications. We’re going to take good care of him.” She said as the nurses somewhat descended on him and carefully but firmly guided him back up the hall. Jared wandered over to the door behind him, startling him slightly.

 

“Whatever happens don’t let me get that bad.” Jensen asked and he turned back into the room. They shaved and showered, had breakfast and went on a walk about the ward. They passed the nurse’s station in their first round and the day nurse looked up and smile. Jensen walked over.

 

“Get everything with Ben sorted out?” He asked politely. 

“Oh yeah, new medications and the side effects were sort of trippy.” She said with a smile. “He’s doing better now.” 

They walked on around the ward and pulled up to a door, Jensen peeked in through the door glass and saw their friend, Ben asleep now, twitching a little bit but under control. 

“I just feel so bad for him.” Jensen said as they walked on. 

“You’ve got a huge heart and you want to share.” Jared said with a smile. “I think that’s one of your cutest features.”

“I’m handsome, not cute.” Jensen said defensively teasing.

“Yeah and I’m a coonhound. Give over kiddo, this is me you’re talking to. They got back to the room about twenty minutes ahead of Dr. Branson’s morning round. When she did stop in she was looking a bit harried. But managed cover quickly.

 

“So Jensen, let’s pick up where we left off yesterday.” She said sitting by the bed as Jensen sat crossed legged again on the bed. “The abuse you were undergoing as a teen was it always mentally and physically directed.” She asked. 

“Usually, mom would snap at the least possible things, like I said, I learned really quick to stay out of the strike zone.” Jensen said.

“How do you feel about your parents now that you’ve had this awakening?” She asked distractedly.

“How do you feel doc? You seem unusually out there this morning.” Jensen noted. 

Dr. Branson smiled. “I’ll be fine, just some unexpected news I received and it’s got me a little concerned.”

“Anything I can help with?” Jensen asked. Jared sat back quietly.

“Not really, I’ll get a grasp on it eventually. Now about your parents.” She said.

“I’m really not sure how I feel about them, I feel sorry for my mom on one level, and angry as hell on another. As for dad, we don’t even want to go there.”

“Why not?” She asked.

“He stood by and let it happen. He ignored the warning signs and just allowed shit to go on.” Jensen said his anger building some. “It’s not like he couldn’t see the bruises. Mom didn’t even make the pretense of hitting me where it didn’t show. She just didn’t care then.”

“What about you teachers at…” She paused as her cell phone rang. She looked at it a moment and excused herself. She was back in about five minutes later and as she sat down Jensen could tell she was barely holding it together. “Jensen, I’m going to have to turn your case over to Dr. Evans for a while, I’m going to be out of circulation for a few weeks and I really don’t know what I will resume at this point.”

Jensen reached out a hand and placed it on her arm. “Bad report?” He asked.

She gulped, a single tear escaping. “I really have to go now.” She said starting to get up.

“I know I’m not a trained professional but I can listen.” Jensen pressed. 

Standing she looked at him and smiled. “Thank you, I appreciate the concern. I have breast cancer and it’s been in remission for a while, but I found another lump the other day and well, the tests are back on it.”

“Chemo?” Jared asked quietly.

“Mastectomy.” She replied as she left the room.

“Oh shit!” Jensen said.

“Well that explains that pretty well. Damn, of all the people something like that had to happen to and it had to be her.” Jensen said looking at Jared. 

“Hell, what a crap shoot.” Jared noted.

 

Jensen was in somewhat of a blue mood the rest of the morning until that afternoon when a tap at the door got his attention. A youngish man, about Jared’s age entered the room. He was dressed in a button down shirt and tie, grey slacks. His mop of black hair seemed to have a mind of its own as to where it would lie. He walked over to the bed extending his hand. 

 

“Jensen, I’m Dr. Jon Evans. I’m an associate of Dr. Branson’s and will be taking over your case for a while.” He looked over at Jared. “You’re the husband?”

“Jared, yes.” 

“Good, would you mind terribly giving me and Jensen a little private time?” He asked. 

“No not a problem.” Jared said getting up. “I’ll go down to Starbucks and grab us a treat in a bit.” Jared said with a grin. Jensen smiled back at him as they kissed again before Jared took off.

 

“I hope you don’t think I’m presumptious, however, I have read your case history from Dr. Branson and I’d personally like to take up where she left off. “ He said brightly. “She was asking about your parents. Tell me what would you do if they walked in right now?” 

“Honestly, I don’t know. I suppose I would try to become at ease with them but I’d have a lot of questions.” Jensen said nervously.

“I got an idea, let’s try role play for a few minutes.” He said, “I’m your mom. I’ve just come in while your dad is somewhere in the wings. Let’s take it from there.” 

“Okay.” Jensen said puzzled.

“Jensen baby, it’s so good to see you. You’re looking well.” 

“I’m not feeling so well mom.” Jensen said attempting to go with the flow.

“Why’s that? I know it’s been rough for you.” 

“Rough for me, mom what about you!?” Jensen said starting to get into it.

“I’ve learned to cope.” Dr. Evan’s said.

“How do you learn to cope with losing a daughter!? How do you learn to cope with having a fuck up for a son who let her get too close to the road?”

“Jensen, I never said you were a …that word.” Dr. Evans responded.

“You may as well have considering the way you treated me and ignored me back then. I was a good target.” Jensen said his anger building.

“Baby I never meant for that to happen.” 

“No, it just appeared out of the blue.” Jensen said sarcastically. “And I’ve got the scars to prove it.” 

“Now Jensen you’re exaggerating.” Dr. Evans said.

Jensen bounded off the bed and stripped off his top and turned, “You see that, that’s exaggeration.” He said his back marked in places by white lines of scar tissue. He pulled his top back on and sat down on the bed gasping. The near tears he held out his arms, wrists up. “That’s exaggeration.” He said choking back a sob.

“Okay time out.” Dr. Evans said as he took Jensen’s wrists gently in his hands. “How old were you when this happened?” 

“Fifteen.” Jensen said furiously fighting the tears away.

“Can you tell me what led up to your attempt?” Dr. Evans asked kindly.

“Mom was planning to go into town for groceries that afternoon, that would’ve been Ally’s birthday, she mentioned she’d have to stop at the bakery to pick up a cake then realized what she said. I was too close she grabbed me by the shoulders shaking me hard, she was screaming at me that she wouldn’t have to buy a birthday cake for her anymore and it was all my fault. I was already depressed that morning she slapped me and then ran their bedroom slamming the door. I went in and laid down on my bed. I don’t remember much else until I was looking at the knife in my hands. I was in the kitchen. The blade looked so beautiful and I remember hearing music even though the radio was off. Then I slashed my wrists like I’d always heard about doing. The only problem was, I cut wrong, I slashed across instead of up. I was bleeding and pretty severely. I remember standing there in the kitchen looking down at my hands, feeling the agony of the slashes and warm runnels as the blood ran down my hands. I remember wondering how long it would take when I suddenly started to weave and then I passed out I guess. I woke up in the emergency room, my wrists were stitched and bound, there was an IV line attached which was giving me whole blood, so obviously I must’ve bleed pretty good. Mom and Dad were finally admitted to the treatment room.” Jensen paused now wiping the tears that were tracking his cheeks. “Mom looked at my wrists and fell into my Dad’s arms crying about how it was all her fault. I was a smart ass and piped up. “Now mom, give credit where it’s due, I was the one that did the cutting.” She obviously didn’t find it funny. Then I rolled away from them telling them to leave me alone.” Jensen paused again and took a deep breath. “Because I was a minor a Family and Children’s Services advocate had to be called in. I refused to see him, but he persisted. I fought them and was subsequently knocked out with some injection. When I woke up I was in a private room with windows all around, I was in restraints.” Now Jensen’s voice climbed a big and he started trembling. The doctor looked ready to intervene but at the same time didn’t want to stop the flood of information. “I was on suicide watch for three days until at last I spoke with a counselor. I only told him that I’d been feeling depressed about shit at school and it wouldn’t go away, finally I decided to try and make it go away.”

 

“You lied, even then covering for you mother.” Dr. Evans noted.

“That was my mom, of course I’d cover for her.” Jensen said as if that conclusion was automatic. 

“Did your parents visit you while you were in hospital?” Dr. Evans asked.

“Every day, mom and dad both would try to get me to talk with them. It was almost a year before I’d do anything but answer their questions.” Jensen said shaking now.

“Okay, just relax, lie down for me.” Dr. Evans said. “Let’s try some guided imagery relaxation techniques to relax you some. 

“Doc, I don’t want to relax, when I do I feel dead.” Jensen said.

“Do you ever talk about these feelings with your husband?” Dr. Evans asked.

“No, I don’t want to worry Jared any more than he is already.” 

“Okay that will be all for today.” Dr. Evans said as Jensen lay there trembling then he looked around the room for a minute. 

“I would really like to see my husband now.” Jensen asked his voice trembling as well.

“Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at 11:00.” Dr. Evans said as he got up and left the room.

After about five minutes Jared reentered the room carrying to large cups of coffee and a pastry bag. He didn’t say anything. He sat the goods on the hospital table and crawled into the bed with Jensen. 

 

“Better or worse than last time?” Jared asked.

“Depends on your point of view he wanted a play-by-play of my leading up to the attempt and just afterwards. Oh man I’m so fucked. They’ll never let me out of this looney bin.” Jensen gasped. “What’d you bring me?” He asked.

“A double mocha with a shot of expresso and a blueberry scone.” Jared said with a grin.

“Well just skip the foreplay and fuck me already!” Jensen said with a laugh. “Thanks, I know I can always depend on you.”

“My pleasure.” Jared told him with a grin. They drank their coffees and munched on scones while the afternoon slithered by. It was about 5:00 when Jared asked. “Do you want to skip the dinner cart and go eat in the cafeteria?”

“If we were at school I’d say yeah, but here, I don’t know, I feel kind of exposed.” Jensen said.

“You might also find someone else in your situation.” Jared said helpfully.

“I’d rather just skip if you don’t mind.” Jensen pressed.

“Jens, ten days to go and you’ll be out of here. You’ll have to deal with crowds.” 

“Jay, I’m just not ready to hack it right now. Now please drop it.” Jensen said tensely.

“Okay, I’m just saying that perhaps there are people here crazier than you and you might benefit from being around them. Give you perspective kind of thing.”

That evening there is a tap at the door. “Jensen, Jared, excuse me but there is an Alan and Sherri Ackles who’d like to see you.”

Jensen sighed, he knew it was too good to last. “Let em in.” Jensen said.

 

There was a tap at the door and then it eased open. Alan stepped in first with Sherri at his heels.

“Jensen.” Alan said conversationally.

“Dad. Mom. I thought I made it clear…” Jensen started.

“Jensen, just listen, don’t talk, just listen.” Alan said pulling up a chair and sitting down. “I haven’t been the greatest father in the world, I know that now. I looked the other way when both of you were hurting and I stayed buried in my own sort of misery refusing to let anyone in. I’m sorry. I should’ve seen what was going on, I should’ve had some inkling as to what was happening, instead I played it dumb and chose to look the other way. I ignored the scars on your back, some of them put there with my own belt. I just accepted the black eyes and bruises as the consequences of going to a public school. You never complained, Jensen, not the first time, you never complained and I never understood why. Then after you got out of hospital it was like nothing had ever happened. You weren’t highly communicative, but you were sociable. I really flunked as a father and I know it.”

Jensen felt the tears welling up and fought them back trying to drown out the words he was hearing trying to stop his ears but unable. Then his mother stood at the foot of the bed, making no pretense, her tears gathering and flowing. “Jensen, I’m so sorry sweetie. I…we…oh God!” She said burying her face in her hands sobbing. 

 

“Mom, we were both a little crazy back then. I just took my crazy to some extremes. I’m sorry for putting you through that.” Jensen managed to say. He crawled out of bed then and walked around grabbing his mother in a hug, she hugged back sobbing. 

 

“I should’ve realized what I was doing. But I was so consumed with grief and so enraged at the world, at God for taking Allyson.” She managed to get out. They stood together sobbing on each other for some time until at last they broke the hug. Jensen managed to kiss his mother on the cheek before grabbing some tissue to blow his nose then he sat down on the bed. He gazed at her for a moment lost in his own emotions, Jared and Alan watching both of them carefully. There was silence in the room for a while and finally Jared broke the quiet by looking at Alan.

 

“Why didn’t you step in? Yeah you were consumed in your grief, but even so you had to recognize what was going on didn’t you?” Jared asked.

“Son, even if I had an answer I don’t know how I could tell you. All I do know is that I remember all too well coming in from work to find Jensen holed up in his room, or as his mom would say, “he out with some of his friends.” It didn’t occur to me later places he might be. That’s when I followed one day. I hung back at a distance but I followed him one day to a store where he managed to buy a six pack of beer, then followed him down by the train tracks to a deserted little glen where I watched as he drank his way through the six pack, passing out on the grass. I stepped in then and gathered him up and carefully we walked back to my car and I took him home. Got him inside and into bed. I don’t think he really knew what was happening.”

“I didn’t, I woke up the next morning in bed with no memory of how I got there, then I come out to breakfast to find that you are practically dead silent as to my quote behavior of the day endquote. I was dying inside bit by bit and I don’t think anyone noticed. I considered taking a bottle of pills but I read how that sometimes don’t work, I thought about a gun, but we didn’t have any in the house and while I might have been able to get beer at fifteen, I knew I sure as hell wouldn’t be able to get my hands on a pistol that young.” Jensen was trembling now. Jared walked over and sat on the bed with him. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry for everything I did back then, for the slaps and knocks and especially what I did to your b-back.” His mom sobbed again. 

“Jensen, your mom was going to the doctor back then and he thought it was nerves reacting to possible menopause, so he did what was vogue for the day and wrote her a prescription for valium. She kept them hidden not wanting to admit to needing nerve pills.” Alan explained.

Jared wrapped Jensen in a hug to control the shivers and trembling. 

“I think I have an idea, just an idea of what Sherri went through, but do you have any notion of what Jensen went through a week ago when all this hit him. WE WERE ON OUR FUCKING HONEYMOON FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!” Jared bellowed tears now starting out of his eyes. “That was supposed to be one of the happiest events of our lives, thank God for a wonderful wedding, at least we have those good memories. But the honeymoon was ruined by the total recall that Jen had.” Jared hissed.

“Perhaps we should go.” Alan said.

“Oh no, no, absolutely fucking not. You’re not going to walk away from this, not after having had awakened something that was buried for over 10 years. You’re not just going to walk away from this Scot-free.” Jared said dangerously. “You were the ones who originally brought this up with one word, Allyson. You had to bring that name back to his mind, just when things were smoothing out. Then he thought on it and cogitated it a bit and finally the wall buckled and the memories came flooding back. And the bad thing in all of this. There are new bits and bobs coming out on a daily basis.” 

Jensen was convulsing now, “Oh no!” He said weakly as the seizure started Alan ran out and signaled a nurse. They came in a few moments later with an injection and after a few minutes he calmed down but not before losing control of his bladder in a big way. 

“How about we try this again tomorrow?” Jared asked quietly. 

 

Alan walked over to take Sherri, but she ran over gave Jensen a hug and kiss on the cheek and the hurriedly left the room with a befuddled Alan following. The nurse came back in shortly with a change of scrubs and fresh linens for the bed. Jared managed to get Jensen into the recliner where he stripped him down and the wiped him down with the equivalent of an adult baby wipe. Got him into a fresh set of scrubs while the nurse finished with the bed. Then with equal care he got Jensen back into bed and covered while he sat to the side as a nurse wiped the recliner down so there would be no urine stains there.

 

Jared dozed a little while Jensen slept then finally Jared gave up and climbed into bed with Jensen. His husband rolled to face him, smiling slightly. 

“We are such a fucked up bunch.” Jensen said in a slur.

Jared couldn’t help but laugh at that.

 

The next morning after a shower and shave they decided to take breakfast in the cafeteria. They saw Benjamin sitting at a table by himself, so after they got their trays they walked over.

 

“Hey Benny, mind if we join you?” Jensen asked.

“Oh hi Jens. Sure please.” He said absently.

“Uh, about yesterday…” Benny started.

“Don’t worry about it. I understand.” He told his friend.

“How can you take it all so easily.” Benny said quietly.

“Not everything is a conspiracy Benny, sometimes shit happens. Like last night, my parents decided to drop in.” Jensen said.

“Oh shit! And you was telling me the other day in the library how fucked up they were. How’d that go?” Benny asked.

“About like expected. I blew a gasket.” Jensen said.

“Oh man.” Benny started.

“So what about you Ben?” Jared asked. “You doing better?” He asked.

“Yeah, they found out what was fucking with me about my meds, got me straightened out and now I’m sorta back to normal.” Benny said.

They sat and talked about mundane stuff for the next hour as they ate and finally at 9:30 they parted company for the day. Jared and Jensen walked the hallways getting their exercise in for the morning. Then came Dr. Evans.

 

“I saw in the visitors log where your parents came to visit. How’d that go?” Dr. Evans asked.

“Dad made a non-apology-apology, mom got weepy and apologized, I got weepy and commiserated, then I had a seizure.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here to intercept them. You are just not ready to deal with that level right now.” Dr. Evans told him.

“How can you judge something like that?” Jensen asked. “I mean there has to be a standard.”

“There is, it’s called the pucker factor scale. I bring up a topic and how much your asshole puckers tells me how turned off you are by the topic.”

Jensen actually laughed a little at that. “See that’s what I want to do, I want to find the inane humour in shit like that again. I’m tired of these last few days of being numb.”

“Frankly Jensen, I don’t think your staying in this ward is the healthiest thing for you to be doing right now. So I’m going to release you to outpatient care. You and your husband are on online coursework, so you don’t have to worry about classes, and you’re doing fine on your medications. So yes, I definitely think you would benefit more from being at home that being tucked up here in this expensive hotel.” Dr. Evans said with a smile. “I want to see you on a regular basis in my office over the next few weeks, but you’ve gone the limits of what you can go here.”

Jensen was happy and reticent at the same time. “Uh doc, what if I’m not ready to go?” He asked.

“You like having your insurance charged $1,500 a day for this room? No, I think you would actually fare better sleeping in your own bed, however, there’s only one thing I’m going to add to your regimen and your body can handle it fine. It’s a medication called Neurontin, Gabapentin for short. It’s an anti-epileptic drug. Although you don’t have epilepsy it has been shown to have significant seizure control and is also helpful as an mood-stabilizer. So I’ll get you a prescription cut for that. Other than that we’re good to go. I’ll go ahead and process the paperwork, you go ahead and get changed into some real clothes. Then we’ll talk some more.” Dr. Evans left the room as Jared and Jensen shared a happy glance and hugged, big time. Jensen got dressed while Jared packed their bags then Dr. Evans came back in with a pill cup. 

 

“I’m going to start you out on 400 milligrams of the Gabapentin then we’ll work from there. Now the meeting last night was traumatic I take it?” 

“That’s putting it mildly.” Jensen said.

“Alan made the celebrity apology, you know the ones? The type where they say I’m sorry but their eyes say ‘fuck you’.” Jared said.

“I know the type. But Mrs. Ackles was a whole different scenario from what I take it?” Dr. Evans said.

“Actually yeah, she was the penitent mama, it’s all my fault scenario. Frankly it was the constant sobbing from my mom that drove me over the edge.” Jensen acknowledged.

“Too much of a good thing?” Dr. Evans prompted.

“No! I heard enough of that when before she started the Valium. I know she’s remorseful I feel that, really I do, but it’s also a case of being nearly too late. It’s going to take some work.” Jensen said.

“Yes it will and it will be on both of your parts. Are they planning to be in town for a bit?” 

“I have no idea.” Jensen answered. 

“If they can stay a few days I’d like to see both you and your mom. “ Dr. Evans said.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Jensen replied.

 

There was little more conversation. Dr. Evans set up the paperwork and got Jensen signed out of the ward. Then can the drive home. The parked the car in their space in front of the apartment door and grabbed their bags. They started for the door when they heard Mildred from the Deli calling them. They wandered over. 

 

“Hey, you gonna just walk by without saying hello, fine boys you are.” She said with mock sarcasm.

“Hey mama Mildred, how you are doing?” Jared asked.

“Fine, here take this up with you, you need something after being gone so long.” She said quickly fixing a large Reuben and wrapping it up. They left the deli with giving her a kiss on the cheek, then made their way up to the apartment. Jensen walked in with some apprehension. 

 

“Nervous?” Jared asked.

“Scared.” Jensen answered as they put their bags to the side. Jensen crashed onto the sofa and then stretched out carelessly. Jared came around and made to grab an arm chair when Jensen whistled at him. He sat up giving room for Jared to get comfortable then he lay his head in his lap. “I love you.” 

“Back at ya.” Jared said running his fingers through Jensen’s soft hair. “Shit, I gotta make some calls and let folks know you’re home. I guess I probably should call your folks first.” He said sulkily.

“Go ahead and let’s get that out of the way.” Jensen said.


	22. Chapter 22

Jared dialed Alan’s cell. “Jared?” 

“Alan! Just wanted to let y’all know that we are home if you’d like to come to visit.” Jared said.

“Do you want us to?” Alan asked. 

“I think it would be a good idea if you did.” Jared told him.

“We’ll come over this evening.”

“Okay. Later.” 

“Bye” Alan said somberly.

“God but your dad does not handle guilt well.” Jared told Jensen. 

“Gee, you think!!” Jensen popped back.

 

Jared went ahead and called Christian who said that he and the gang would be over immediately if they could handle the company. Jared told them to come on over, they were lonesome. He quipped. Then they called Fr. Jim.

 

“Jared! Hello!” 

“Fr. Jim, just wanted to call and let you know one prayer’s been answered, we’re home finally.” 

“Congratulations! Glad to hear it and how are you and Jensen doing?” He asked.

“Better now that we’re under our own roof.” Jared admitted.

“I should imagine so. Hey you gonna be home tomorrow morning around 10:00?” Fr. Jim asked.

“Sure should be, come on over.” Jared told him. 

“Thanks I will. It’s great to hear from you and such good news. Take care and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, bye.” Jared said disconnecting the call, “Chris and the gang are coming over. We got plenty of beer iced down. Will you be all right?” Jared asked. Jensen answered him with a hug and kiss.

“I’ve got you here with me. I’ll be fine.” Jensen answered. The got up and went into the kitchen getting a couple of O’Doul’s. “The first one will be just us.” Jensen said with a smile. They popped the tops and took a long pull after clinking the necks of the bottles. “Oh man, that is so good.” Jensen said smiling. 

 

About fifteen minutes later and the doorbell rang, it was Christian, Chad, Harry and Jeffery, along with Dani and Gen, Soph and Sandy. Soon they had a lovely reunion going on especially since Christian thought to stop by and grab a case of beer and some chips and dip. Pretty soon they had a lively little party going on with Jensen having a blast for a change. A little nervous at the size of the group but he kept telling himself that this was part of the process. They turned on the stereo and played some dance tunes making everyone happy. Soon enough though Jensen sat down on the sofa panting and laughing. Then drinking some from his third or fourth O’Douls. He was indeed very happy. The others saw he was sitting down and the music was change over to some funky jazz which they sat around and talked over.

 

“You’re home for good this time?” Dani asked.

“I hope so, psych wards are a bitch.” Jensen admitted.

“We didn’t want to overload you up there.” Sandy said.

“Well, I’m glad you all chose to come over and load me up here. I’ve missed ya.” Jensen told them.

“And we got a raincheck for a week at that bed-breakfast already paid for. So that’s what we’re planning to do for spring break.” Jared told them.

“Cool!” Jensen said then looked around, “Where’s Misha?” 

“Ha, thought you’d never ask. He wound up over in the ward with appendicitis this morning. He should be out tomorrow or the day after.” Christian said. “So how does it feel to be an old married couple.”

“Wonderful.” Jared and Jensen said practically in unison, then they looked at each other and laughed. Jared called downstairs and ordered a six footer from Rufus. He was only too glad to comply. So in about a half hour they were dining on six feet of a sub sandwich.

 

The party lasted another hour and then they decided it was time to pack it in for the day, but with promises to invade later. Jensen couldn’t wait. His nerves had him trembling a bit now but he was doing well. Once they were all gone, and the mess cleaned up they just sat back and relaxed. It was a lovely moment with them sitting there truly enjoying each other’s company in a way that would have been harder days before. Jensen was getting drowsy now from the action and attention so he changed into his sleeping pants and a tee shirt and climbed into bed.

 

“We are totally out of necessities, so I’m going to make a grocery run, will you be okay?” Jared asked.

“Sure, I’ll be fine, I’m glad we had the gang over, have to do it more often. I miss that.” Jensen said with a smile. Jared couldn’t help himself, it was that smile, just that way that always gone him in. He swept in kissing and nibbling neck and lips.

 

“If you’re gonna get groceries, get groceries, if you want something more substantial we’ll go to the bedroom.” Jensen said seductively. 

“And get caught out by your folks, no thanks, I have lots of things in mind for tonight.” Jared told him. With that he quickly rushed out the door. 

 

It was about a half hour later Jensen heard the door buzzer. “Must have handsful. He said and pressed the answer button.

 

“Yes?”

“Jensen honey, uh may we come up?” Sherri asked. 

Jensen tensed but pressed the button to unlock the street level door. Once he had them in the apartment he laid down some ground rules.

 

“No demeaning sobbing, crying, or carrying on, try to keep a reign on the emotions. No insincereties. All this applies to both of us. Bare facts that’s all I’m asking.” Jensen told them.

“Okay sweetie if it means that much to you, yes.” Sherri and Alan agreed.

“Okay, let’s get the gameboard setup, I get to lay out what I remember that is causing me so much trouble then you get to comment or rebut any of it. Fair?” Jensen said quietly.

“Son, we’re not here to play games with you.” Alan said trying for reassurance.

“I know dad, but I also don’t want us to end up in a crying in our beer session either.” Jensen said. “I go first.”

 

And he did, he launched into a tale of his youth what he remembered, everything that he could remember, he studied his parents faces as he spun out the tale, in the middle of it Jared had come in and was putting away groceries while Jensen went on with his tale. It was hard for him but he managed barely to hold himself in check with the tears. Then he went on with the afters, the abuse, neglect, downright guilt that could be unloaded. By the time he was done he was crying silent tears as was his mother, his father was sitting there stone faced, attempting to keep his emotions in check.

 

“Everything you said is true, I can’t deny it. There was so much going on then with you in hospital, then me and the doctors, your father being distanced.”

“I was not.” Alan asserted. “I deal with grief in a different way than you two did.

“Whatever, it almost caused a divorce. We were snapping at each other, nights I can remember wanting you to sleep on the couch just to have some distance. Then I would get up and be the one to make that distance, waking up in the recliner in the family room. That was a horrible time. Jensen, I admit I’m guilty of being a poor mother then, I’ve tried to make up for it since but it’s been hard, very hard at times because there is so much pain going on. I finally had to give up going out to Ally’s grave because the pressure and pain was too much.”

 

Jensen nodded and said, “I never wanted to admit she was gone. Mom, we haven’t always been bad, we both had some tough breaks and we dealt with them the only way we knew how at the time. The dealing sucked though. It sucked big time.”

“That what we wanted to deal with son, we didn’t want you to have to go through this alone, I’ll have to fly back to Texas but your mom will stay another week. I’m sorry son, but one day you’ll deal with the reality of having a job and schedules and God help you, what else. I want better for you both, I want you to have a better everything, and that includes a better marriage. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine; there will be some seriously bad patches along the way. But you can make good things happen if you really want them.”

 

“What I want is to get over this and move on with my life, but I’ve been having nightmares and reliving all this again. There’s no easy solution and a final one is not an option.” Jensen opted.

“Son, no matter what happened in the past this is us, now, okay we screwed up, but we still love you, care for you and want you to love us in return, if you can.” Alan said a single tear tracking his cheek. Jensen knew he had to reach deep to make that admission and that one tear was costing him severely. Jensen looked at him solemnly, then got up walked over and bending down hugged his father, his father returning the hug. 

He stepped back to the couch trembling slightly and looked at his mother who sat across from him on the sofa. 

“Mom, there had been a LOT of water passed over the dam between us over the years, we’ve each dealt with our sorrow in our own way, mine was bit more drastic but atypical for an angsting teenager. But no matter what happened I’ll always love you, I can’t get away from that. I will always love you. Dr. Evans wants to see us both in his office if possible this week. Can you stay a few days? We’ve got the room to space we can always set up a guest room.”

 

“Oh hon, I can stay at the motel, it’s not the first time I’ve done something like this alone. I’ll just call the airline and have them adjust the departure date on my ticket.” She said smiling through the tears. “Do you really think we CAN put this behind us?” She asked concerned.

 

“No, mom, I really don’t think so, but we can make the remembering less painful.” Jensen said trying a small smile.

“And on that note I say we pick a place and find something for dinner, I’m starved.” Jared said.

“Where do you want to go?” Alan asked with a bit of a laugh.

“You trust us not to poison you?” Jared said.

“Of course.” Sherri said with a curious smile. 

“Come on.” Jensen said. They left the apartment and walked halfway around the block to a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant. The sign in the window read “Luigi’s Genuine Italian Dishes.” They went in the manager immediately recognizing Jensen and Jared. He came out with a bottle of a pale golden wine. 

“Got some Muscado fresh in today.” He said.

“Luigi you’re a prince, a bottle for the table please.” Jared said. “He looked at Jensen, I know, easy on the alcohol, you get a half glass and that’s it. I’ve already caught enough hell and gave enough to Chris.

“Luigi Al Conte, these are my parents Alan and Sherri Ackles.” Jensen introduced them.

“You got good kids here.” He said in a thick Sicilian accent. In a moment he was back with the wine and some fresh bread with butter. They looked at the menu which was printed on a chalkboard over the register area. The restaurant was of indeterminate age but old. The smell of an ancient building was all around them. The kitchen was a small affair and there were only four service tables out front. Jensen and Jared knew immediately what they wanted the parents asked for recommendations. And the order was placed. Soup came next, a lovely tomato base with tortellini and fresh herbs. Finally the entrees were served and there were a lot of delightful sounds coming from their table as they ate. They finished the bottle of wine then opted for glasses of lemon water. After the entrée the salad was served to counterpoint the meal and finally dessert was offered and ordered, his Tiramisu was famous. They finished with Alan picking up the tab for this meal. 

“It’s good to cook like this, most of the time I’m just fixing pizza’s for those college brats at the dorms.” Luigi said with a smile. “Did you enjoy your meals?” He asked Alan and Sherri. 

“That was a fantastic meal sir. We’ll have to remember this place when we’re up here again.” Sherri said. 

They walked around the block and back up to the apartment. Once in there they took up their positions again on the sofa and arm chairs. 

 

“The saving grace about this whole excursion was that the owner of the bed and breakfast we were staying at was nice enough to give us a rain check valid for a week of our choosing in return for my medical hoo-haa and that bullshit with that Pollard guy.” Jensen told them.

“Good, excellent really. You’ll still get a vacation out of it no matter what. I just feel bad that you had to go through all that.” Alan observed.

“Yeah, and uh Alan, I’m sorry I blew my stack last night.” Jared told him.

Alan shrugged. “You had every right to, we’d done some things in our past we’re not proud of and well it’s coming back to bite us in the ass. We deserved it.

“Still.” Jared said.

“Don’t worry about it son. Jensen, I’m flying out tomorrow morning. You mom will stay for as long as you need her here, if you get into a bind let me know and I’ll deposit some more into your account.”

“Dad please, we’re doing fine.” Jensen said. “It’s a good thing we got out now because we have a function to play at in a week, and a dinner party that weekend, then in three weeks we have a wedding to play at. Plus there’s a bistro opening up across town that’s looking for some opening performers and have talked to us, so it’s not like we don’t have anything to do.”

Jared looked up finally, “Alan just do us one favour, if you can remember anything he forgot, please tell us now or call us about it. Every tidbit is important.”

“Sure.” Alan and Sherri stood then with Sherri giving both boys hugs and kisses with Alan settling for hugs. Jensen escorted them to the door and they were gone. 

 

Jared looked at Jensen, “Just the two of us now.”

“Yep.” Jensen said.

“In this big ol’ apartment.” Jared added.

“Yep.” Jensen said again.

“With our marriage bed waiting on us.”

“And we’re stalling why?’


	23. Chapter 23

  
Author's notes: Authors apologies for the threesome which evolved. It appears that was NOT a fan favourite and I screwed the pooch with that story theme. I'll keep this in mind with future writing. I truly had not meant to upset anyone and hope that you will still enjoy the story. I am also thinking this is the only threesome material in the story, but I'll double check myself on future posts to be sure. IF I have erred again, I'll rework that chapter.  
Thanks for reading folks!!!  
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* * *

The following morning they woke at their scheduled time of 6:30, got up and slipped into their running clothing. Then took a little extra time stretching and finally running Stockbroker’s Block, they cooled down by walking the block around their place, the grabbed a cup of coffee at the deli and went upstairs for a lingering shower, shave, and breakfasting. There was a good bit of handholding and love signals passed between them at breakfast. 

 

“Had a wonderful night.” Jared said soothingly.

“It was one of the best.” Jensen said smiling.

“On a scale of one to ten, I’d rate it a twelve.” Jared said with a smile himself. They decided that between the hours of 10:00 and noon they would spend studying and from two to four preparing the material to submit for their classes, They were setting up with themselves to do this three days a week. However that morning at ten they’d baked fresh scones and made a pot of coffee for their visitor who arrived right on time. 

 

“Fr. Jim, please come in.” Jensen said backing up to give him entrance. 

“You’re looking much better, being at home agrees with you I see.”

“In ways I cannot begin to describe.” Jensen said. 

“Father, come in, we got a fresh pot on and some scones just out of the oven.” Jared called.

“Sounds wonderful let us get to the living room.” He said with a smile.

In moments there was delightful chatter while the coffee hour was being served. 

Then came the business end of the talk. “How are you doing son?” 

“I’m finding that there are good days and so-so days, this is a good day. Slept well last night, went for a morning run for the first time in days, breakfasted on our own cooking and not hospital food. Yep it’s been a real good day so far.” Jensen said.

Jared looked up smiling as well, “Had a wonderful evening even after having Alan and Sherri over. But I think we are doing good with burying the hatchet on the one. It’s just slow work is all.” Jared said.

“It’d do you boys a world of good to get that issue aired out and cleaned up. You have had a good relationship with your folks the last few years haven’t you?” 

“Actually yeah I have, we both have.” Jensen admitted.

“Then as much as it hurts y’all work together to come to an agreement and settle this issue. I can’t imagine your mom being the wicked queen from Snow White.” Fr. Jim admitted.

“She’s not really; she just had a three year span of near insanity. Kind of like me.”

“Jensen, you have a really powerful story to share, both of you do of love and support and our youth group needs to hear that. There are some who are admitted there only because their friends are there, or it’s a cool group to hang out with, they treat the church like a social club and you and I both know that’s not the kind of institution we grew up with. We need to reach them; I think that you’d be great as a guest speaker one Wednesday evening when we meet before service.” Fr. Jim told them.

Jensen blushed and shook his head, “I’m just plain, old, me, nothing special…”

“No you’re not you’ve been down that dark tunnel and come out on the light side instead of falling into a cavern. Please consider it. I have four in that group that need to be scared straight. And I don’t mean sexually.” Fr. Jim said.

 

“I’ll think about it, I promise.” Jensen said. 

“I think you should or we should do it. These kids need to hear the hard truth of where life can lead them. We don’t need to be preachy; we just need to get the point across.” Jared told him.

“Give me some time to deal with this and we’ll see.” And that is the best promise that Jensen could give. Fr. Jim was good with that and told him so then the chat turned less clinical and more spiritual as Fr. Jim discussed with them the aspects of this event and how it could alter their spirituality.

“It doesn’t mean you’ll become street corner preachers, but you will experience a shift in the concentration during services. It may come during the Nicene Creed, Prayer of the People, even the Holy Eucharist, but you’ll experience something. Most people attribute the euphoria to just the accidental crossing of a specific path. Whatever the case, it will happen.”

“How many people know of why Jens was in hospital?” Jared asked.

“Myself. I didn’t let folks in on the why just that you were in hospital and for the time being requested no visitors.” Fr. Jim told him.

“Good, there’s a sort of stigma attached to the psych ward, and we’re trying to avoid that if we can.” Jared noted.

“I don’t think you’ll find that a problem. Even if word does get out.” Fr. Jim said with a smile. “So are you getting more involved with life in general?” 

“I like to think so. Yesterday afternoon we had a group in from over at the frat house and everything went all right. I was tired afterwards, but I think that was just nerves talking.”

“This isn’t tiring you out is it?” Fr. Jim asked concerned.

“One-on-one, nah, it’s rather enjoyable. I know it’s only been a few days but it seems like forever since I’ve just been here at home.”

“Hospitals are like that. They’re supposed to be places of healing but more often are places of sapping strength.” Fr. Jim told him. “Well, you’re home now and hopefully for good.”

 

They talked on for a while discussing church matters with leaning towards other members they knew, but who’d been out sick as well. Then it came time and Fr. Jim was about to make his farewell when they noted it was coming up on noon. Jensen and Jared invited him to lunch with them. With some pressing Fr. Jim accepted the invitation as Jared led them down to the deli and there they dined on roast beef on rye, turkey subs, and other noshes. It was afterwards that Fr. Jim really did have to make his farewells as he was counseling a young couple on their upcoming marriage that afternoon, so walking with him back to the church Jared and Jensen continued their walk through the district and then back around their block to the apartment.

 

Inside they opened a bottle of wine and had a glass each while lying on their bed staring at clouds through the windows. Jared waited until Jensen was halfway through his glass. 

“You’re feeling all right?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course why?” Jensen said.

“Just worried, you know the wine and all.” Jared said.

“Jared Tristan Padalecki, let me assure you once and for all that a single glass of wine is not going to set me over the top. I know my limits and I don’t push them.” Jensen said with some heat.

“Hey sorry, I was worried for you is all.” Jared said hurt.

“Sorry, I just, I feel like I’m being ‘mommed’ again.” Jensen told him.

“Oh God, never that! I AM sorry.” Jared said elaborately.

“Don’t sweat it. Just ease up a bit I know how much alcohol I can have and I ration myself some kind of seriously.” Jensen told him as they lay getting more comfortable and starting to feel a nap time coming on. Jensen shook himself.

“WHAT!?” Jared said shocked.

“Sorry, I felt like I was about to drop off and we got work to get done.” Jensen said.

Finally crawling out of bed they made good on part of their promise and got their school books out, checking the assignments online as well as connecting to the podcasts with their earbuds in, they ran through their studies for the day. The assignments weren’t complicated, some writing and a bit of research on their parts. Jared had a cello piece that he had to practice while Jensen wrote out his piece for his Brokerage class. They finished up around 4:30 so they decided that they needed a stretch, changing into their jogging clothes they stretched and took a run around Stockbroker’s Square. Then around their block grabbing some water at the deli and then going upstairs for a lengthy shower that turned very intimate very fast. Jensen was in the middle of kneeling and giving Jared some much needed attention to his cock when he started laughing. 

 

“What so funny?” Jared asked through his haze of euphoria.

“Just so happy.” Jensen said diving back onto Jared and sucking him with a passion that surprised the lover. In moments he was orgasming, feeling as if the orgasm was being dragged up from his toes. He was entranced by the moment, then the look of love in Jensen eyes as he stood and they stood still under the cooling water kissing. Shutting the shower off they continued to hug and kiss for several long minutes. After drying down they went to bed where the adventures got even more rambunctious. At one point Jensen was hilt deep in Jared and smiling down at him kissed him. 

 

“I love you so damn much, it’s almost impossible to imagine life before you came along.” He told him at a pause. 

“Umm, I love the way you make me feel. You sex me up to the nth degree and then beyond.” Jared replied. Jensen couldn’t last long but he didn’t mind and he half collapsed on top of Jared loving the feeling of Jared’s tightness and warm wrapped around his half-hard cock. It didn’t take much teasing to get Jensen hard again, this time was slow and gentle, making love in every possible definition of the terms. They rode each other solidly and with great care. Jared didn’t mind bottoming for Jensen. They switched roles often enough to make the switch almost a natural state of being instead of something unusual. They’d tried alternatives like threesomes and even a basic orgy with the Deltas, but they still always came back to just them. There was something about their intimacy that supercharged them both and it was moments like this with the stars visible through the windows and the evening dusk settling on them that made it all seem more than just a little worthwhile. 

After the loving was almost as good, when they were just holding each other and trailing little kisses and caresses down each other, the intimacy was so thick in the room as to be palatable and the bodies just touching made for a wonderful mix. They’d tried kink as well but kept coming back to vanilla sex, something with a wonderful romantic twist to it. 

Relaxed now they rose and wrapped up in their robes and walked into the living room to enjoy looking out through their skylight at the stars that wheeled above their home.

 

It was 9:00 that next morning when their peaceful morning routine was broken by the strident ring of a track from Guns & Roses on Jensen’s cell. He claimed that call tone set him apart from everyone else and Jared had to agree that no doubt someone hearing the opening bars of Axel Rose would know, that person is different maybe a little whacked but different.

 

“Hello?” Jensen said after checking the caller ID only to see it was the Barnwell Clinic.

“Good morning, this is Doctor Evans’ office calling for Jensen Ackles-Padalecki, is this he?” She asked.

“Yep you caught me.” He said lightly.

“Good, Dr. Evans would like to see you and if possible your mother in his office Monday at 10:30 if that’s available.”

“I can make myself available.” Jensen answered.

“So we can expect you Monday morning, July 16th at 10:30?”

“Sure can.”

“Thank you.”

“and you.”

Jensen disconnected the call and looked at Jared. “Dr. Evans wants to see me and mom in his office 10:30 Monday morning.”

“Are you ready for this?” Jared asked.

“About as ready as I’ll ever be.” Jensen sighed, “All that bullshit happened ten years ago, I only remember it through this fricking recall I’ve been having and only bits and snatches at that. The most traumatic stuff naturally.”

“They gonna call your mom?” Jared asked.

“I assume so, but just in case let me give her a quick ring.” Jensen answered.

 

It was a quick ring as the classical music ringback tone played. 

“Jensen?”

“Mom, morning.”

“Morning to you to.” Sherri said experimentally.

“Did you get a call from Dr. Evan’s office?” He asked.

“Just hung up with them, Jared are you sure this is necessary?” She asked.

“Don’t know mom, just know that Dr. Evan’s seems to think that something in us talking together will help us resolve all the issues.” Jensen told her.

“What do you think?” Sherri asked.

“I want to give it a try, mom that time was a mentally trying for me as it was for you. I should’ve been watching Ally better, it IS all my fault, but I can’t let that drown me. I’ve got to grasp it and put the guilt aside.”

“My son, talks like a psychologist.” She mused happily.

“Your son, who’s been seeing a lot of them in the past two months.” Jensen shot back equally amused. “Okay I’ll see you then if not sooner. And mom…I do love you.”

“Oh there you go making me all weepy.” She said with a choked sob. “Later baby.”

The call disconnected.

 

“Do you Jensen?” He heard Jared say. “Do you really?”

 

The morning was spent working through podcasts of lectures and then assignments with a break for lunch at noon. They opted for salads considering the heat of the day and made up two fine mixed greens salads. Afterwards they lounged drinking beer and watching some television when the door buzzer sounded.

Jensen hopped up to catch it. 

 

“Yes”

“It Chris and Misha, got a minute?” 

“Sure come on up.” He said buzzing them in. He had the door open and Christian grabbed him in a bear hug coming in surprising Jensen. “Missed you too handsome.” He chirped.

“We got a problem.” Misha said without preamble. 

“Problems go down better with beer, come on in and I’ll grab us some out of the fridge.” He said. The came on in the apartment and saw Jared. 

“Sorry to disturb your quality time but we won’t be long.” Christian said.

“Take as long as you need, you know you’re always welcome here.” Jared told him. 

 

“Okay,” Jensen said returning from the kitchen with a six pack. “What’s the problem?” Jensen asked.

“Harry’s leaving us. He’s had to drop out, his dad died and he’s got to go back and help his mom settle the estate.” Christian started.

“Okay so he takes a leave of absence that’s not a problem.”

“They expect some trouble from the business partners now that there is a gap in the chain. It’s gotta be filled by someone, they’d just as soon it be Harry as anyone else.” Misha explained.

“Which is where the problem comes in Harry don’t want to work the business but feels pressured to step in. SO he dropped out.” Christian finished.

“That is a problem.” Jared noted. “Which means now you’re going to have to get in someone to fill in for the assistant head of house.”

“You nailed it.” Christian said.

 

“I want to get Chad in that position but he’s all tore up over this assault and all he doesn’t think he’s man enough to handle the job. We’ve tried talking with him, reasoning with him, no luck. Jen, you’ve always had a knack in handling him, could you please come over and talk to him?” Misha pleaded.

Jensen sighed. “I’m married now, in case you failed to notice, how I talk to him would be a bit of a problem.”

Jared looked puzzled. “What are you talking about?” 

“Talking sense into him will involve some cuddling and kissing.” Jensen said tiredly. “It always has had.”

Jared looked at Christian, “Just how important is it you have Chad in this position?”

“He’s got two years to go plus a years internship after, he’ll be around a while. Misha graduates next June.” Christian told him.

“I just don’t know who else I can trust.”

“Just cuddling and kissing?” Jared said quietly.

“Yeah baby, that’s all it’s ever took in the past.”

“Okay but no penetration.”

“We’ve never got anywhere near that far. He’s only bisexual to a degree.” Jensen assured him.

Jared nodded, “You gotta do it man.”

“I know, I just hope I still got the knack.” Jensen said quietly.

 

Fifteen minutes later and they were in the frat house with Jensen knocking on Chad’s door.

“Come.” He said flatly.

“Hey dude.” Jensen said walking into the room.

“Oh God, they’re calling in the heavy artillery.” Chad mused.

“They’re just concerned. Christian wants the integrity of the house to go on the way y’all set it up.”

“And there are others they can call on.” Chad insisted as Jensen moved over and on the bed next to him. Jensen reached out a finger and traced the line of Chad’s jaw. “But none as good looking as you.”

“Well…I guess that’s a point for the argument.”

“What’s the real reason?” Jensen asked. “Is it because you feel like you are less of a man?”

“I did get my ass kicked for some dudes things I was queer. So yeah I guess you’re right a little there.”

Jensen reached down and cupped Chad’s growing erection.

“Feels all man to me.” 

“Jared’s gonna kill you then kill me and then stand me so he can shoot me.” 

Jensen bent down and less than an inch from Chad’s ear whispered. “Jared knows and approves.” He said darting his tongue into Chad’s ear. Chad grabbed him in a desperate hug. 

“It’s been too long.” Chad said solemnly.

“Wasn’t my choice.” Jensen said.

“I saw you was taken by Jared, I know when to back off. Besides, you’re the only guy I’m queer for.” Chad said in a tender voice.

 

They kissed now Jensen letting Chad take the lead. “Just how far do I have liberties for?” Chad asked.

“Everything except penetration, and if I can get Jared talked into another threesome, who knows.” Jensen whispered kissing him them sucking on his lower lip. “Come on just say yes to Christian to shut him up.”

Jensen said stroking Chad’s length through his sweats.

“I don’t know…I’ve got some hellacious studies ahead of me.” Chad said as Jensen unfastened his belt buckle the unzipped his trousers.

“W-what are you doing?” Chad whispered nervously.

“Getting comfortable. I mean if you can lounge around in those sweats in what feels like commando then I sure as hell can shuck my jeans.” Jensen said.

“I don’t know about this.” Chad admitted his face flaming red now. His breathing fast.

Jensen bent in and kissed him again. “You said you were queer for me, and I available up to but not including penetration. We can do a lot without fucking. You know in the two years I’ve known you, snuggled with you, and made out, I don’t recall you ever touching my dick.”

“I uh, that’s to say, I, well I didn’t know if you wanted me to. I was afraid.” Chad admitted.

“Hard to imagine you being afraid of someone. But right now, I want touching.” Jensen said indicating his tented boxers.

“I’ve never touched another guys cock before.” Chad admitted bashfully.

“So I’m your first, there’s nothing wrong with that and I want to make this special. What have you fantasized about doing?” Jensen asked.

Chad was silent for so long Jensen was afraid he’d scared the poor guy out of his erection.

“Sucking cock.” Chad whispered at last.

“We can do that, I would love to taste yours.” Jensen said tugging at Chad’s waistband of his sweats. 

“Can I taste yours too?” Chad asked shyly.

“Sure we can do that grand number 69.”

“I’ve done it with a girl before but never with a guy.” Chad admitted.

“Just take it slow and gentle, don’t try to rush it, just let it happen.” Jensen instructed “Oh and keep the teeth out of the way unless you got someone who likes it a little rough. Me I don’t mind a little molar action. And don’t try to take the whole thing if your bed partner happens to be seriously hung. You find out about me when you pull my drawers down, but I’ll tell you up from I measure seven and a half inches.”

“That’s nothing to sneeze at, beats my six and a half.”

“That’s cool, there’s a LOT you can do with six and half.”

 

Tentatively Chad lifted his hips and Jensen pulled his sweats down letting his cock dangle freely in the air. Then Jensen getting up from the bed walked over and locked the door. As he turned he added a seductive sway to his hips. 

“More privacy.” Walking over to the bed. He tucked his thumbs in his waistband and tugged his boxers down kicking them aside carelessly. 

“Oh. My. God.” Chad gasped seeing Jensen’s dick for the first time. 

“Like what you see?” Jensen asked.

“Is the Pope Catholic?” Chad popped back and stammered. Then Jensen climbed back in bed with Chad sliding down a bit.

“Think of it as a Tootsie Pop only don’t bite down to get to the filling.” Jensen said with a wink as he stroked Chad’s erection. Chad basically was copying what was being done to him only with the way what was being done was stoking his fire, he was afraid he wouldn’t last long. That was when Jensen took him in his mouth. He was convinced then that there was a definite difference between a girl and guys mouth. He licked the head of Jensen’s cock then just like in his dreams he sucked it into his mouth. Suddenly taken by the silky texture, the sweet/salty taste, the hardness with a slight softness around the edges. He found out he liked sucking cock. He didn’t know if he’d ever get good at it, but he sure did like it. Then he found that there was a secondary pleasure in the precome that Jensen’s cock leaked. Thick and no distinct flavour he could put to it other than sexy. He was able to take practically half of Jensen comfortably in his mouth. The started licking with his tongue, swirling around the tip and probing the piss slit. Jensen was groaning and feeling mightily sexed up as well and on the verge of coming. But he held on he wanted to get Chad to orgasm first, giving him the pleasure and it didn’t take long. All at once Chad froze his hips pistoning and then he nearly screamed around Jensen’s cock as he came. It was a large load as well so Jensen had to swallow fast to get it all that was when he relaxed into the motions that Chad was giving him now and after milking Chad dry he pulled off kissing his waning erection. Jensen could feel his own orgasm coming.

 

“Chad, uh, I’m about to come, you can-oh God- swallow it or let it spatter. Chad thought about it for all of maybe two seconds and increased his sucking bringing Jensen to a shattering orgasm as well. He swallowed the load and sucked for more. Jensen smiled to himself. He got a little comeslut here. Chad finally relaxed and pulled off him and Jensen turned around in the bed cuddling him and kissing him. “There’s more where that came from.”

 

“An-all I gotta do is be assistant house chief.” Chad said with a silly smile.

“No, but it would be a big favour to me if you did.” Jensen said smiling through his post-orgasmic bliss. 

“Okay…I like sucking your dick, you taste good.” Chad said sillily.

“Tuck you in for a while?” Jensen said.

“You gotta go?” Chad murmured.

“I’m afraid so, but you can come and see us, who knows what kind of mischief we’ll get into.” Jensen said.

“Okay…” And he was out. Jensen carefully pulled the sheet over him and got dressed. Leaving the bedside lamp on he cut off the overhead, and then unlocking the door he carefully eased it open and left the room pulling the door up quietly.

He walked down the short hallway to the stairs and then to the living room where Jared and Christian were sitting in quiet conversation drinking beer. Jared looked up expectantly. Jensen smiled at him. The walked over to Christian, “ He’s asleep, satisfied, and agreed with conditions, that I’ll discuss with you Jared on the way home.”

“No penetration?” Jared asked.

“None, he got wasted on a blow job.” Jensen said grinning.

“Pitching or catching?” Christian asked. “No, don’t tell me, I don’t need that image burned into my skull.”

“We 69ed.” Jensen said with a grin.

“And the conditions?” Jared asked.

“In the car, love, in the car.” Jensen said taking Jared’s beer and downing a quarter of the bottle in a gulp. 

“Jen!” Jared said surprised.

“Had to do something, I didn’t have a toothbrush.”

“Ok, shut the fuck up.” Christian said. “TMI, thanks for securing that for me.”

“You owe me Kane.” Jensen said tiredly. Then he looked at Jared.

“Oh great knight in shining armour, taketh me to the Castle?” Jensen said.

“You’re wasted too.” Jared told him.

Jensen bent down and whispered. “You know how I am after a blowjob. He’s nowhere near as good as you but we could teach him.”

Jared pulled back and looked sarcastically astonished. “Turn him to the Dark Side of the Force?” 

“Absolutely Lord Vader.” Jensen said ominously with a grin.

“I like the sound of that.” Jared told him. 

“My dear frat bro, we are traveling onward. Drop by tomorrow night and I’ll fix some brats!”

“I’m there man.” Christian told him.


	24. Chapter 24

They all went to the door together. And happily Jared and Jensen departed with Christian still thanking Jensen. He just told Christian. “As Ben Franklin said, All work and no sex makes men nervous wrecks. Later. Bring Chad, we can thoroughly embarrass him.”

 

“Sounds like fun.” Christian said as they left the house. 

In the car Jared looked at Jensen, “I feel like a fucking pimp.”

Jensen nodded, “I know, I feel like a whore. But it was in a good cause. And who knows, maybe we could work Chad into some of our sex play. I didn’t say a lot just some.” 

“He any good?” Jared asked as he drove his jawline tensing.

“He could be better. He’s just very insecure sexually. He needs some loosening up.” Jensen said smiling tiredly.

“Two fingers, a little lube.” Jared started, grinning wickedly.

“You know what I mean doof.” Jensen said

“Okay, say we do this, is he going to become like a puppy and spend the night camping at our doorway?” Jared asked.

“I shouldn’t think so; we set ground rules and make him adhere to them.” 

“Jensen, do you want my honesty on this?” Jared said his eyes fixed straight ahead.

“Always…” Jensen said now suddenly tense.

“I don’t think a threesome is going to work out. I was almost not alright with this, but I saw what was needed and Jens, I LOVE YOU, and although I’m a big boy, I don’t like to share.”

“I’m sorry Jare, I never mean to upset you with this.” Jensen said.

“I know you didn’t that’s why I’m not full bore rage right now. I know why you did it.” Jared pounded one hand against the steering wheel. “I like Chad fine as friend, a good friend, but not as a lover. It’s you and me, that’s how it’s gotta be.”

“Is there anything I can do to make up for this magnificent mistake this evening?” Jensen asked sarcastically.

“Get your ass off your shoulders for starters. Jens if it had just been us talking this out, I still wouldn’t have approved but I think things would’ve gone a lot smoother. With Chris there, it was too much I felt like I was getting backed into a corner.” Jared said tightly.

Jensen reached over his anger gone and the fact that he did hurt Jared foremost in his mind. “Just you and me. I can deal with that.” He said his voice betraying his own emotions. “I love YOU Jare, it was never in my mind to betray you and I think that’s what I did.”

“No you didn’t, we both agreed to the plan, so we’re both guilty. I just can’t be with you and somebody else. It just feels too weird.” Jared admitted.

“Perhaps I’ve got a way to remedy the situation?” Jensen started timidly.

“What’s that?”

“Relaxation, then some deep romantic or angry sex until the wee hours.” Jensen told him.

“Jensen, I love you, nothing can change that. And not everything can be cured by sex. But some relaxation and maybe a little romancing, and who knows where it could lead?” Jared said as they rounded the block and pulled up their parking space.

 

Four days later found a very nervous Jensen, a calm Jared, and a somewhat nervous Sherri sitting in the waiting room at Dr. Evan’s office. “Finally the nurse appeared at the door. “Jensen, Sherri, if you would come on back now.” 

Jensen looked around shocked and saw Jared sitting there placidly reading a magazine. “You’re going back with us, aren’t you?” 

Jared looked up. “No. This is your time.” He said quietly. 

Jensen and Sherri walked to meet the nurse. In Dr. Evans’ office they took a seat on the two easy chairs offered. Dr. Evans closed the door. The n turned.

 

“I know this isn’t going to be easy for either one of you, there is going to be tension, terror, sarcasm, and other various emotions come out to play and you’re not going to be all terribly happy. But guess what? That’s the way that life goes, there is nothing planned that is not part of some scheme. So with that in mind, let the games begin.” He said.

“You think this is a game?” Sherri said insulted.

Dr. Evans laughed. “Not really but better you view this with a sense of humour as not. It’ll make it easier for you in the long run. Now Jensen, Sherri we’re going to start from the top and since both of you are here we’ll have a running narrative of what happened. 

And so they were off, not without some angst, anger, tears, and pain. But Jensen got through his part of the tale up to the point that Sherri came out of the house, there Dr. Evans held up his hand. “Okay Sherri you take it from here. What exactly did you see and feel. 

 

“I came out of the house and saw Jensen standing down by the road, I knew he had road sense but there was something in his stance that unnerved me that’s when I saw my baby lying on the asphalt with her head looking like she’d taken a hit with a baseball bat. I ran down and tried to get some information out of the driver who was doing nothing but throwing up and looking ready to pass out. Then I whirled on Jensen and tried to get him to talk to me. But he seemed tongue tied for a moment.” She paused taking a deep breath, “I shook him and slapped him trying to break through the wall he finally reacted and told me or tried to tell me what had happened. Then everything went gray, I thought I was going to pass out. Then…” 

“No this part is between you and Jensen. First Jensen…” Dr. Evans said.

Jensen looked very uncomfortable and was trembling as he spoke. “then she started pounding on me with her fists, she was in hysterics and she was pisssssed the fuck off. I turned around to try to at least move Ally out of the road and that was when I noticed her skull was split open I fell on my knees vomiting. That was when mom started to kick me. It took a bystander to pull her off me till the ambulance and cops arrived. The ambulance driver gave mom something to calm her down, and then they turned their attention to Ally and shrugged. There was nothing they could do for her. So they checked me over, I had a broken nose, three cracked ribs and other assorted injuries. Mom, you can kick like a mule when you want to.” Jensen said.

“No Jensen, focus on me. Not on each other right now.” 

“Sherri, do you have any recollection of having kicked out at Jensen?” The doctor asked.

She sighed and tried to stop the flow of tears that just wouldn’t cease now. She nodded, “I was not thinking too clearly right then my thoughts were that if I kicked hard enough that would end my pain or the cause of it.” She stammered.

“So you wanted to kill your son?” Dr. Evans said plainly.

“WHAT!? No of course not!”

“You just said you would end the cause of your pain. Jensen was on the ground, he was the one who was supposed to be watching and caring for his sister. He was the cause of your pain.” Dr. Evans explained patiently and waited for her response. Sherri looked flustered for a moment and then she broke down in tears understanding at last the extent her emotions were going to carry her. 

 

The rest of the session was similarly traumatic until at last they’d finished the session. Then came the cooling off period. They were no closer to an actual peace between them over the incident, but they were able to get to a place of understanding their fears and frustrations. At last the session over with Dr. Evans guided them back to the waiting room where Jared immediately came to both of their attentions. He looked at Sherri who was visibly and severely shaken by the event .

 

“Sherri, come on, I’ll give you a lift.” Jared said kindly as they piled into the Element. “You want to stop by our place first, you look like you could use a drink and I don’t mean of water.” He said. She just nodded numbly. They got to the apartment then thankfully in the apartment where Sherri started to reach out to Jensen but noted Jensen pulling away for the moment. Then Jensen stepped forward tentatively raising his arms. Sherri fell into a hug.

 

“I am so sorry baby, I…I…” She tried and broke down in sobs. Jensen wasn’t much better. Jared went into the kitchen and opened one of the cupboards taking out a bottle of Tullamore Dew Irish Whiskey and poured two generous helpings and grabbed an O’Douls for Jensen. Taking them he went into the living room where Jensen and his mother were still sobbing against each other until finally after several minutes they broke apart and sat. Jared went into the bedroom coming back with a box of tissues. He finally ended up by pushing a whiskey at Sherri, taking his own.

 

It was over an hour of silence punctuated by strained starts in conversation and crying that Jared finally looked at them. “So you both are at fault.” He said trying to get a reaction. 

“It would seem so.” Sherri finally said. “Oh God, Jensen, when I think back and some of the things I said, and did!!!” 

“We lived through it mom.” Jensen said in a dead voice.

“I know we did hon, but not easily.” Sherri said trying to calm down.

“We made it through it then, we’ll make it through it now.” 

 

Another hour passed and Jensen finally looked at Jared. “I’m getting hungry.” 

“So am I.” Jensen responded.

“I might could eat something.” Sherri said quietly. 

“Y’all get a salad started, I’ll run downstairs for something for us to eat.” Jared said as he left the apartment.

 

While Jared was downstairs, Jensen and his mother worked mechanically but starting to warm to each other. There were moments they brushed against the other, or they bumped into the other. There was the quick apology and then a little more silence.

“This silence is oppressive.” Jensen muttered.

“Yes, it is. We are dancing around each other conversationally.” Sherri pointed out. “That’s why I used to tell Alan when we’d have a fight.”

“Mom there’s gotta be a happy medium out there somewhere.” Jensen persisted.

“There is, and we’ll find it. For now let’s concentrate on getting well.” Sherri said placing one hand on Jensen’s arm affectionately. 

 

Jared was back up a short while later with a bag of food they could all smell. He pointed to the dining table, “Let’s make use of the table.” He said as he took three containers out of the bag. So they sat a few minutes later dining on a tossed salad, falafel, and gyro meat with pitas. 

 

“Did you and dad fight a lot while I was in hospital and out though I don’t remember much about that year after the accident.” Jensen said.

“We had our ups and downs, mostly there was a lot of silence broken by the occasional civil question or word. The reason you don’t remember much is that for two years after Ally got hit you were on Lithium. You came close to having to repeat a year in school but we managed to get your tutored through the city system.” Sherri told him.

“I don’t remember any of that.” He said distractedly.

“You were in hospital for nearly a month the first two weeks on suicide watch and a few days in restraints until the Lithium took effect.” Sherri said wiping at her eyes. Jensen sat there dumbfounded as he listened to a history he had no recollection of. “After you turned seventeen you were given the chance to come off the Lithium. We decided for you to take it. Your grades went up and you started communicating with us again. Alan and I separated for a months after Ally’s death, but neither one of us was any good alone, that’s while I was just coming off the Valium. That was hell.” She said quietly picking at her food.

“How did you and dad survive it?” Jensen asked.

“Your dad was a better man that I was a mother. He straightened me up and out and together we worked on you. 

“Josh left home when he turned 18 and only comes back for holidays and never stays long.”

“Asshole.” Jensen said under his breath.

“We keep in touch through emails. He’s well, living in Portland, Oregon. I guess he likes it up there.” Sherri said by way of explanation. “It’s better this way. He was never happy at home. Always more headstrong than smart.” 

“So what do we do now? I mean Dr. Evans wanted to see me back next Wednesday, but didn’t say anything about you.” Jensen said.

“I go back to Texas and see a psych there, there are a lot of issues this has brought up I want to work through and I can’t do them on my own.” She noted.

“When are you leaving?” Jensen asked timidly.

“Friday. Thought I’d catch the weekend flight out. It’ll be easier on your dad as well.” She said.

“Will I see you again?” Jensen asked.

“Do you want to?” Sherri asked hope in her eyes.

“Please.” Jensen said his voice thick with emotion. 

“Come on baby, let’s not get started again.” Sherri said with a smile. “I need to go on now. This has been a long and somewhat tiring day.”

“Come on, we’ll give you a lift back to your motel.” Jared said from where he sat.

“So you are alive.” Sherri said with a laugh. “You were so quiet.”

“This was a mother / son talk, you didn’t need me butting in.” Jared said with a smile. 

“Come on handsome and take an old woman to her hotel.” Sherri said standing. Jared got to his feet as did Jensen. He walked around the table and grabbed his mother in a hug. 

“Do you mind terribly if I stay behind?” Jensen asked again timid.

Sherri reached up and patted his cheek, “I’ll call you tomorrow.” She said as she headed for the door. As the door closed behind them Jensen stood for long moment then returned to his seat, took a sip from his glass of wine then pushed back his plate, crossed his arms on the table, laid his head down on his arms and sobbed.

 

Jared and Sherri got in the Honda and threaded through the traffic back over to the Marriott. 

“So what do you think Jensen’s doing right now?” Sherri asked.

“I’ve got several ideas none of them very pleasant.” Jared told her.

She nodded turning her attention to the road. “You think I was a bad mother?”

Jared paused a moment in thought before answering. “I think you made some bad choices. But if I’d just lost my daughter in an accident like that, I’m not exactly sure I could hold it together either.”

Sherri laughed lightly. “You were always pragmatic, you’d probably have had your feelings sorted and filed before breakfast.”

“I don’t know about that, there’s a lot of water under the bridge there.

 

Jared dropped her at the motel and waited until she was inside then he drove back to the apartment at a slightly frenetic pace. He parked quickly and took the stairs two at a time. He quickly entered the apartment and heard Jensen before he saw him. Running into dining area and knelt by the chair and grabbed Jensen in a hug. 

 

“Come let’s get you to bed.” He said.

Jensen couldn’t speak he was so upset and mad at being upset. Jared got him into the bedroom and the lay down on the bed fully clothed, Jared just embracing Jensen letting him get it out of his system. Finally Jensen managed to gasp out. “Just how many fucking tears are left in me?” He said angrily.

“Apparently enough.” Jared said. “That was a hell of a load you found out about this evening. You can’t expect to get hit like that and not suffer some backlash.”

After a half hour of lying there, they decided to go ahead and strip down for bed, anyone come buzzing would catch them as they were. Jared got Jensen situated in bed then got Jensen’s half glass of wine. They lay there in bed snuggling occasionally taking sips of wine.

“I’m on Zoloft now, that’s bad enough, but I was on Lithium as a kid, that shit’s high powered. What else happened during those two years I can’t account for?” Jensen said confused.

“You could always try regression therapy couldn’t you?” Jared asked.

“I don’t know if that would be good or bad.” Jensen said. 

“You have to do something to come up with some answers otherwise you’re going to burn your lights out just trying to come to a decision over the matter.” Jared told him. Jensen sighed and just lay back staring at the ceiling. Then Jared posed a question. “Do you think you’d get any farther talking with your father about this, or even Josh?”

“The only time I see Josh is at family functions. Hell, I don’t know if he’d even take a call from me or not.”

Jared smiled at him, “You don’t know until you try. You might be surprised.

“I’ll think about it.” Jensen said.

“Jensen, all you do is worry yourself into a frenzy over this and you won’t get anywhere, it’s 7:30, call him for Christ’s sake.” 

“Bitch.”

“and a damn fine one.” Jared said sarcastically. 

 

Getting out of bed Jensen walked grabbed his phone and came back to bed. Suddenly his palms were sweating. He and his brother got along marginally. And he never knew why, just that Josh always went his own way about things. So sighing he looked up the number in his contact list and called him. He was about to give up when the phone was answered.

 

“Jen.” Josh said dismissively.

“Josh. Can you talk with me for a few minutes?” Jensen asked.

There was a vocal sigh at the other end. “Sure, what’s up?”

“I remember about Allyson.” Jensen started.

“Shit…shit…shit.” Josh said his voice rising in in flection with each word.

“But I can only remember to a point. There some stuff that’s still mucked up in my brain that I can’t recall. I need some help bro.”

There was a pregnant pause on the line as Jensen listened for anything, finally…”I hate doing this over the phone.”

“Why? It couldn’t be that bad.” Jensen said.

“You were institutionalized for a month, when I came to see you with Ma and Dad, you were strung out, wearing a diaper no less. Ma finally was able to get you home and with some help from gram and gramps got you situated at the house. Dad had to have a sitter for you the first month at home while you were coming off of the Lithium. The kick in the ass was that you were eventually back to your old self, but Ma and Dad wouldn’t stop pouring the attention on.”

“I remember feeling like I was being forced to be the center of attention. It was very uncomfortable.” Jensen said.

“It made me feel like shit, because all of the sudden whatever I did took a back seat to any accomplishment you can up with.” Josh said bitterly.

“I’m sorry. I had no idea.” Jensen said.

“The real problem wasn’t in you slashing your wrists it was for the first sixth months that you were out we had to keep a constant eye on you. Hell I remember one time, you were out in the front yard walking towards the road in nothing but your boxers. It was hilarious and alarming at the same time. I’d try to get you back inside when you’d get like this and we usually ended up fighting.”

“Damn.”

 

Jensen patiently let Josh get the bitterness out. “Then there were the days I’d come in from school and have to play dodge ball with ma because she would be strung out on a Valium or worse when she was coming off it. She came around one time and caught me in the ass with a frying pan. Then when she saw that wasn’t getting a response she started beating me with it. She was whacked out man. Dad just basically ignored it and you were going to school, spending time with a tutor and slowly getting you shit back in order.”

“There has to be something you’re not telling me that I need to know.” Jensen said.

“How ready are you to handle this shit dude?” Josh asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be, give it to me man.” Jensen said.

“Okay, but remember that you asked for this.” Josh said. “That was all about the coming out as well. Ma had some jerk off preacher in who tried ex-gay therapy on you while you were recovering. You finally ran away from home with Troy Pledger. You were gone for over a month before we got a lead on where you might be. Ended up we found you two living in a fucked up apartment on the East side of town turning tricks. You were a fucking whore dude!” Josh said laughing out loud.

“Well that explains my libido.” Jensen said laughing with him.

“Dad snatched your ass up and hauled you home and got the Preacher and board of deacons to basically do a frontal assault on you mentally. You ended up screaming at them to get the fuck out of your life, you were legal age and had a right to live the way you wanted to. Dad was all for kicking you the fuck out of the house, but Ma wouldn’t hear of it. She ended up getting you into that storage space above the garage. Turned that into your bedroom.”

“I remember that. I thought that was so cool, like having my own place.”

“That was the idea, to get you out of the house. Dude I was cheering you on! I was already out and trolling my way north when I landed in Portland. Got a good gig here and stayed around.”

“Why haven’t you tried to get in touch?” Jensen asked.

There was a long pause. “I didn’t know how you’d react to my chosen career field so I stayed the fuck out of it all.”

“What about your career field, what are you a car jacker or drug dealer?” Jensen said laughingly.

“I’m, uh, I’m an actor.” He said haltingly.

“You! And actor, ultimate coolness dude, what have you done?” 

“Army Fuckers, Truck Stop King, I could go on but I’m in adult porn flicks. I’m retiring from that now, made a pretty good living off of it and saved some cash. Did the smart thing and opted for a piece of the action when I signed up a contract. So I get a royalty check from every time they used a photo of me in a promo.” Josh said.

“Whoa! No wonder Mom and Dad are kinda hands off about you. That is so fucking cool.”

“Well I had the body that the moviemakers wanted, and had enough of a wang to make good the job. So they took me on.” Josh’s voice suddenly sounded shy.

“Dude, I am like proud of you man!” Jensen said wonderingly.

“Wait a minute “Army Fuckers…” Then Jensen gasped, “I’ve got a copy of that around here. Oh my God, I’ve seen my own brother in a porn flick and didn’t know it.”

 

The whole time this was going on Jared was sitting in the background discerning bits and pieces of the conversation then he got to the part about his brother doing gay porn. His jaw literally dropped. He grabbed the phone from Jensen and put it on speaker.

 

“Dude you’re on speaker phone, I so want a signed copy of Army Fuckers.” Jared told him.

Josh burst out laughing. “Hey Jay-rod. Neat wedding by the way, I’m sorry I didn’t stick around for more. It looked like a cross between a debutantes ball and a frat house party.”

“It pretty much was.” Jensen noted. “Okay, so I was tripping, I was stoned out of my gourd, then I ran away and was turning tricks. What am I missing here? What happened that was the breaking point because I feel like there is more than just this.”

“Hey cocksucker that was enough. Between you and me it’s a wonder that mom and dad stayed hitched.” Josh said laughing.

“So what are you doing now?” Jensen asked.

“I’m a male model, kept my figure up, got a Nautilus Machine here at home, and I do a lot of photo shoots. In fact they want to do one on the campus of UCLA next month, it’s supposed to be a three day deal. We’re shooting for Abercrombie and Fitch.”

“FUCK ME!” Jensen said. “You have so got to stay here with us.”

“Man, I don’t want to be in the way.” 

“You won’t be, we got this huge fucking loft, we can fix up a guest bedroom easy enough. You’d be five minutes from campus and you’d be free of a room fee.” Jensen said.

“You sure about this?” Josh said.

“Sure I’m sure.” Jensen said.

“Come on down man, we got some cold ones in the fridge at all times.” Jared said.

“Oh just twist my arm dude. Okay I’ll take you up on that, we’ll be in town August 5th, 6th, and 7th.”

“Cool we’ll intro you to our frat houses.” 

“Oh shit dude, I gotta be sober for these shots.”

“You will be.” Jared promised.

“Okay, I’ll call you when I get into town.” Josh said.

“Fantastic…don’t wanna get sloppy or nothing, but I’ve missed you dude.” Jensen said his voice betraying his emotions.

“Missed you too kid. See ya in three weeks though and we can catch up!” Josh said.

“Fucking A!” Jensen said. “See ya.”

“Later” and they disconnected. 

 

Jensen lay back for a moment stunned at the revelations “This is just too wild man.” Jensen said after a moment’s reflection. Shaking his head, “I can get the running away from home, mom mentioned something about that, but I was turning tricks, I was a fucking whore dude! Oh that has got to be a family secret, word of this gets out to Christian I’ll never live it down.”

“How much to keep it secret.” Jared teased.

 

They suddenly dissolved into laughter. The more that Jensen thought about it from his brother perspective the funnier it got until he was hiccuping from laughter and fighting to try and keep a grip on the present. 

“I have so got to go back and watch Army Fuckers and pay attention to who’s in the scene, if I jerked off to a scene my brother was doing, oh man that’s just too weird.”

“Incest is best.” Jared chimed. Which got them started again laughing.


	25. Chapter 25

  
Author's notes: This is the home run stretch folks!  
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Three Weeks Later

 

Jared and Jensen were in a not so enviable position of sitting in a room with 12 teenagers, several of whom it could be seen were there to please their parents. They’d gone through a half hour of explaining what was important in their lives and how community and church had made a difference for them. They explained in detail what depression was all about and it was not uncommon to see it in teenagers. Some of them were paying attention some of them were giggling and talking to friends. Finally Jensen had all he could stand and even with Jared there to try and hold him back it wasn’t enough. 

 

Jensen vaulted to his feet and stomped one foot down hard. “HEY! You’ll have plenty of time to catch up later, for now eyes front. You think that this is a JOKE that we’re just up here bumping our gums. You want to SEE what depression can do to you!!??” He was on a roll now and everyone’s attention was on him. He flipped his wrists out where the scars would show. “See that!” He thundered and walked back and forth through the group where they couldn’t miss the scars. “I didn’t cut myself shaving!” He said adamantly. “You sit here laughing with your friends, that’s cool, but you realize that while your laughing it up there are probably friends of yours who are sitting around alone or even in a group whose social life isn’t what yours might be, or worse are laughing to hide that pain. This is one direction it can lead to.”

 

“You uh, you…” One of the girls was about to say.

“I slit my wrists. I was that depressed. Now how many of you get depressed, I mean really seriously down from time to time?” Jensen asked.

 

There were some blushing faces in the group then they looked at one another and slowly a couple of hands went up. “Do me a favour and spread this to your friends, talk to someone who can help, talk to friends, family, Fr. Jim, or even us. We’ll listen, I promise, it wasn’t that long ago that we were teenagers. We remember what it was like, the peer pressure, for us hiding our orientation and many other problems. But there are people you can and should talk to by all means.”

 

One of the guys sat forward. “What if what you’re going through isn’t something you can share with just anyone?”

Jared looked at him. “Something as severe as drug use or…” he waggled a finger between himself and Jensen.

“Uh marijuana.” He said startling a couple of teens in the group.

“I’d tell you to talk to Fr. Jim first. You go to your parents first and you know what will happen, we know what will happen, it’s pretty obvious, go to your school counselor and they’d try to put you in a program or turn your name into the police. Personally, I think it should be legalized, there are far fewer people hurt by marijuana addiction than alcohol.”

Jensen leaned forward now. “But talking about it in a setting like this is acceptable too and for what it’s worth with this group it’s like Vegas. What you say here stays here. Can you at least agree to that?” There was a nodding of heads. “You’re not here to be made an example of anything, you’re here to talk out problems that you may be having at home or school, or even here at church. Okay we’ll start the session out. We’re gay and we’re married, we don’t use drugs but we do drink alcohol. Though I have to admit, with my medications I can’t drink as much as I’d like. By the way I’m also an extreme chocoholic so if you have any on you it ain’t safe.” He said to assorted laughs.

One young man in the back stuck his hand up. Jared smiled. “This isn’t like school, if you’ve got something on your mind kinda let the rest of us know, raised hands are fine. What you got Kenny?”

“We can say what we want and no judgments and no tattling right?” He said trying to maintain his composure now.

“Sure! What’s said here stays here, anyone can’t live with that there’s the door. Oh and if someone does tattle, well it’ll be a bad day for the snitch.” Jared said then looked back in fact the room seemed to focus on Kenny for the moment. Jared could see the composure shift in the boy and resisted the urge to go back to him. This had to be a concerted effort on the part of the group.

“You know me, or think you do. Some folks have been tossing about the word that I’m a queer, cause no one’s seen me with girls. It’s true, I am gay, and I don’t know how to deal with it.” Suddenly the room was sympathizing and empathizing with him. Two of the guys and the girls went back to him and bumped fists or caught a hug. 

“You know me, Daniel, I’m not gay, but I think we need to pull behind our buds that are. So Kenny, you’re cool dude.” There was a chorus of yeah as Kenny wiped the tears from his cheeks.

“No one is going to diss my bro.” Another one said. “Paul here, and I got a bad one too, not trying to one up you Kenny, but I do crack and I want to get off it.” The room was suddenly awash with emotions as they were commiserating with both Kenny and Paul.

 

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Jared said. “WE open up to EACH OTHER.” He said emphasizing the words. This ain’t a condemnation place, but it’s a place you can come and maybe get some help, a hug, whatever you need to go the week. Kenny, it’s hard coming out. I’m not going to lie to you man. I came out when I was 14, I knew that young that I liked kissing guys more than girls. Sorry ladies, that’s just how it hits with us homos. No one says you have to come out to the whole church. You come out to those you trust as you can. Also be prepared to be ostracized. Shit happens man, and it happens to the good and bad. Depending on who you come out to you’ll get teased or called names like faggot, homo, queer-bait, and etcetera. But you got a solid base here of support. Don’t let them get to you. And for the rest of you, in here, nicknames are cool they are not to be used prejudiciously. Having said that…” Jared stood and walked over to Kenny. “Welcome to the fag club.” He said giving him a hug as he laughed through tears. Everyone had a good laugh over that. 

 

“Paul,” Jensen started. “I really don’t know what to tell you man other than find help, start going to narcotics anonymous meetings, get off the shit man. It’ll destroy you in the end.”

“But I’ve tried to kick it.” Paul said trying to be brave and failing.

“Have you thought about your friends here as a support base?” Paul said.

Karen looked over at him. “You start feeling the urge to smoke some or shoot up you call me. I got your number and you’re cool with me.” There was a chorus of “same here man,” and other such phrases. Paul looked like he’d been broadsided.

“I-I had friends before, but most of them are users. It’s hard to deal with.” He said nearly breaking.

Another young man, Henry was his name spoke up, “That’s just it dude. You’re trying to kick this by yourself, don’t go there man, we’re here to help you. Clean up dude, please!”

“Paul there’s a start for you.” Jensen said. “You got a good group of people here to fall back on that are not or are doing crack. You need the support of your peers but your clean peers, someone who will encourage you to kick it. We’re with you 100%.” Jensen said with a smile just for Paul. Paul suddenly straightened up a bit more in his seat. 

 

“The main thing we want you to get from these meetings is that you have a support chain that is organized of kids your own age. You don’t have to be afraid.” Jared told them. 

“Dude that’s easy to say when you’re on the clean side of the slate.” Daniel said.

“I haven’t always been clean, Daniel.” Jared said grimly. “I did smack when I was a teenager because I thought it would get me in with the ‘cooler’ dudes, what it got me was strung out and finally strung up. My parents found out and put me in rehab. Rehab’s not a bad place to be if you got a habit to kick. But come clean to yourself and if you can to your parents. The ‘rents may not be the coolest people in your group but by and large most of them actually care about you. Whichever way you go, get some help Paul, don’t try to do this alone.”

“I never knew you did smack.” Jensen said surprised. 

“Sorry, but that’s a part of my youth I’m really seriously not proud of. I thought it would make me look cool, in the end I was a fool. Sorry for the rhyming there guys.” He said to general laughter. Okay that’s a good start guys and gals. Talk this group up we’ll grow it, and Paul just so you know you’re not alone, next meeting we’ll have a representative from the local NA Chapter in to talk to you all about substance abuse and where you can get help. Cool!?” Jared asked. There was general assent of yeahs to that. “Now get out of here and enjoy the day.”

 

After the meeting was over with they watched at the kids left in a myriad of ways and they decided to stroll the block. Jared smiled. “For a first meeting with them that didn’t go over badly.”

“No it seems like they want to help each other.” Jensen noted.

Jared seemed more than a little tense and when they rounded the corner to their apartment they decided to drop in on Rufus and Mildred for some beer and split a sandwich. They sat there silently for several moments then Jensen spoke up.

“What is it? You afraid I’m disappointed in you that you’re a former user?” Jensen asked.

“The thought crossed my mind.” Jared said seriously.

“I don’t care, you’re clean now.” Jensen told him taking his hand.

“That doesn’t take away the shame.” Jared said finally.

“Oh Jay…we’re such a mess.” Jensen said quietly. “I love you for who are, not who you were. We can deal with the past on our own terms, but let’s deal with the present for now.”

“You ready to go upstairs?” Jared asked quietly.

“Sure.” Jensen said with a happy glance at his husband. 

 

Together they ascended the stairs into the apartment at peace in their separation from the world for the moment.

 

Between the next morning and August 5th they needed to set up a guest room area in the loft. That wasn’t really a problem considering that with a little judicious movement of furniture and putting up a screening curtain like they’d done for their bedroom they had fashioned a perfectly acceptable guest area of some 10 x 12 feet in space. They raided the local IKEA store for some homey furnishings to go into it as well as a Jernigan’s again, this time for a simple full sized bed. Once all that was set up it still left over 18x20 square feet for the living room area alone and didn’t encroach on the dining area. They were thankful that the guys from Omega and Delta finished their paint job they’d promised including painting the ceiling matte black with a dusting of stars to complete the illusion of a night sky as you looked through the room’s skylight. The skylight was one of the old fashioned ones seen in many movies. It was nine panes of glass each 12 inches in length and width. They’d got the owner to insure that it was puttied in well to prevent leaks. And they were more than happy sometimes falling asleep on the living rooms faux fur rug as they stair through the skylight watching the stars overhead. The most amazing sight to them was the one night after a year of nights that they actually saw the moon through the skylight. The view was completely awesome for them and for them alone.

 

August 3rd rolled around when Jensen got a call on his cell during class, he checked the caller id and decided to take a short break. So pausing the podcast of the lecture, He accepted the call.

 

“Hey Josh.”

“Jenny, look I just got into town and I was going to look for a motel near you.” He started.

“Josh, we got a guest room you’re welcome to use.” Jensen said relaxed for a change.

“Really! Great man, that’ll be fantastic. We can bum around and not have to worry about waking the neighbours, uh you got any neighbours?” Josh asked.

Jensen laughed lightly. “No one on this end of the building but us. There’s a space between us and the other apartment that’s used as storage for one of the stores. But we can have a helluva good time here I promise. My frat brothers already want to meet you.”

“Frat bros, that would make a hell of a party!” Josh nearly yelled.

“Inside voice on the phone please!” Jensen said holding the phone away from his ear.

“Sorry, it’s just been so long since an honest to God party where I don’t have to be chaperoned or worry about the press.”

“We can definitely arrange something. You get over to the apartment , we’ll do the rest.” Jensen proceeded to give him directions to the apartment with parking area instructions and the whole lot. Jensen finished the call then disconnected and turned to look at Jared who was working on some research for one of his papers.

 

“We are about to be invaded. That was Josh, he’s in town early.” Jensen said phlegmatically.

“Not the best timing in the world.” Jared admitted.

“I agree; I have a term paper I need to finish for my Brokerage class that’s due in the day after tomorrow.”

“I’ve got some research I have to do on an opera for my class tomorrow morning.” Jared said. “How much can we cram in in the time it will take him to get here?”

“I don’t know but about to find out.” Jensen said as he doubled down on his keyboarding speed while Jared spent the next little while researching. 

 

It was an hour later they heard the door buzzer repeatedly being hit. 

“Yeah?” Jared said exasperated.

“It’s Josh!” He said in a rush. 

“Hold on, I’ll buzz you in.” Jared said and did just that. He was at the door moments later, suitcase in hand.

“Hi! You gotta be Jared.” Josh said grinning.

“Josh hey, come on in.” Jared told him.

“Sorry to crash y’all early like this but I caught an early flight.” Josh admitted. 

“Come on, I’ll show you where you can stow your gear.” Jared said with a grin. “Jensen stepped out for a minute but he should be back anytime now.” He led him behind the opposite privacy wall and waved at the pristine bed and chest setup.

“Will this do?” Jared said.

“Dude, this beats Motel Seven six ways from Sunday.” Josh said as they heard the door open and shut again. Josh dropped his things and ran around.

“Jenny!” He said excitedly.

“Jo-Jo!” Jensen returned and they fell into a long missed embrace. “Damn it’s been too long.” 

“Well, you know how the folks feel about my profession, it’s not like I’m invited to every outing dearest mum and dad have.” Josh said lightly.

“You’re famous among quite a few people around this area. “Army Fuckers” has been a hit in the gay community here.” Jensen told him.

“You’ve seen it!?” Josh said blushing.

“Watched part of it, I had to look away at the scenes you were in. That felt too weird.” Jensen admitted. “But they put you with hot co-stars.

“They did get me some decent looking co’s versus some of those biker flicks I’ve made. Trust me, on those I had to fantasize.” He said as he grinned and then he looked at Jared. “Too much body fur, I like my men, slick or slightly haired. And bald, sorry to me that’s a turn off.” Now it was Jared’s turn to blush considering he was anything but bald. “Look dudes, I know I’m not dropping in at the most opportune time being a couple of days early, but it you don’t mind I just want to veg out for a while.”

“That’s okay, you want a brew, I brought some extra up?” Jensen offered.

“Maybe later, right now I’d like nothing better than a shower and then bed for a bit.” He admitted.

“Sounds cool, bathroom’s in there,” Jensen pointed, “Fresh towels and stuff on the rack inside the door.” 

“By the way Josh, when would you like to do a frat party?” Jared asked smiling.

“Can we do one tomorrow, I really am that trashed out after my flight.” Josh asked.

“Sure dude, whatever you want to do.” Jared said surprised.

 

Ten minutes later, Josh came striding back through the living room area wearing a light cotton robe and nothing else. 

“Hey Jo-Jo, you feeling okay bro?” Jensen asked as he saw his brother coming through, and for a brief moment saw the real man that was his brother. And what he saw concerned him.

“Let me get a shower first.” Josh said as he went into the bathroom. 

Jared and Jensen shared a look of concern then turned back to their own projects for the next half hour. They heard the hair dryer running for a moment and then he was coming out of the bathroom. Josh checked the time on the microwave and nodded then disappeared behind the privacy curtain and came back out with a pair of bottles. Jensen got up and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge for him. 

“Jo-Jo, what’s up, you’re really scaring me now.” Jensen asked. 

Jared was seated over on the couch with his laptop and turned around to the dining room table where Jensen had been typing. He looked up and pushed the laptop out of the way as Josh sat down at the table with him. He sighed and looked at the table for a moment. “I was on suspension with the union until last month. My T-cell count got in acceptable ranges for me to continue.”

 

“T-cell? You’re talking about AIDS aren’t you?” Jensen asked.

Josh looked patently miserable. “Uh yeah. Contracted it about a year ago. Right after we wrapped up “Army Fuckers”, my count is in ranges considered to be a safe risk for certain sex play. The only problem is finding other actors willing to work with an infected actor. So most of the shoots I do these days are done with other actors that are infected. Together we’re doing something the industry tries to keep hush-hushed.”

 

“Why??” Jared said dumbfounded. “I would think that would be a PR goldmine for them.” 

“From your lips to God’s ears, but they don’t see it that way. They’re afraid that we’ll actually hurt the image of fuck films.” Josh said. 

“How are you feeling?” Jensen asked. 

“Like a pariah…look I’ll understand if you don’t want me here.” Josh said as he started to get up.

Jensen grabbed his arm. “You’re not going anywhere. We know the precautions and know what to do to help. You’re not going to skip on me this time.” 

Josh looked stunned for a moment and sat back down. “I can do the frat party, just no sex play. I’m not about to risk that.” 

“Jo-Jo we’re not asking you to.” Jensen told him. “We want you to feel comfortable for a change. You’re still my brother, I still love you.” 

“Glad you do, considering mom and dad have basically written me off.” He said testily. 

“This is bullshit.” Jensen said pulling out his cell phone.

“Jenny, NO!” Josh said suddenly the big brother.

“Fuck this.” Jensen said dialing a number then putting the phone on speaker. A woman’s voice came on the line.

“Jensen?” Sherri said.

“Hi mom, got somebody here that wants to say hi.” 

“Jensen!!” Josh hissed.

“Josh!!” Sherri said from the other end of the connection startled.

“Hi mom.” He said flashing his fist at Jensen.

“Baby, hey, how are you?” She asked.

“I’m doing…” 

“the truth!” Jensen said.

“Jensen?” She said.

“Truth mom, is I’m not doing so hot right now.” Josh said his voice suddenly brittle.

“Baby, what’s going on?” Sherri said.

“Mom, I’m HIV positive.”

There was a very pregnant pause at the other end of the phone connection.

 

“Okay,” Sherri said with an inhalation. “We’ll tackle this one thing at a time.” She answered.

“It’s not full blown AIDS, I’ve just tested positive for the virus.” He said near tears.

Suddenly Sherri could be heard softly crying. “Oh baby, why didn’t you call us earlier?” 

“I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me.” He said regaining some ground.

“What would give you a notion like that!? Just because you make those movies?” She said in tears now.

“Right in one.” Josh replied.

 

“Sherri what’s wrong?” A male voice could be heard in the background.

“It’s Josh honey”, she said putting her phone on speaker. 

“JOSH! Son! Are you alright? We haven’t heard from you in so long.”

Now it was Josh’s turn to cry. “I didn’t think you’d want to hear from your slut of a son.” He said despairingly.

“You are not a slut. You make smut films, but that doesn’t make you a slut.” Alan said firmly. 

“You want me to tell your father?” Sherri asked.

Josh was crying now too hard to answer. “Alan, Josh has tested positive.” 

“Oh my God,” Alan was breathless. “Are you doing okay?” 

“Holding up.” He choked out.

“Which means you’re just hanging in there. Son come home for a while.” Alan said, that only made Josh cry harder. “Please Josh, come home for a while.”

“I-I’ve got to f-f-finish a shoot here in LA then I’ve got s-some time if you r-really want to s-see me.” Josh said wracked and in fear of rejection. 

“Stay there in LA, we’ll be out on the next flight.” Alan said firmly. “I’ll go book us tickets.” He told Sherri. 

“What made you think we’d not want to see you?” Sherri said through her tears.

“Well the way you acted at Jensen and Jared’s wedding was a clue.” Josh told her. 

“Oh sweetie! We were so wrapped up in just getting that wedding off the ground we weren’t thinking clearly.” She said. “I am so sorry hon, we didn’t mean to ignore you at all!” She said.

“I’ll see you when you get out here.” Josh said trying to get his emotions back under control. “Bye mom, love you, tell dad.” 

“I will sweetie. Good bye.”

The call disconnected and Josh looked daggers at Jensen.

“That was a shitty trick to pull on me right now.”

“Jo-Jo if I didn’t you’d still be wallowing in the thoughts that mom and dad hated you.” Jensen said angrily.

“Josh, sometimes tough love is better than no love at all.” Jared said trying to ease the tension. 

Josh sighed extravagantly. “I need some quiet time.” 

“Come here.” Jensen said standing. Josh who was the same height stood with him. “You can hate me all you want later, but I love you.” He said pulling him into a hug.

“Love you too little bro.” 

“How about instead of a massive frat blow out, we just have a few friends over?” Jared asked.

“You know, I really could go for that.” Josh said smiling through his tear streaked face.

 

Josh went back into the bathroom, splashed some cold water on his face then came back through and headed to the guest room.


	26. Chapter 26

Jared sat back to his laptop and Jensen to his. They started working some more on their homework while Josh took a well-deserved nap. Two hours later Jared and Jensen were both finished with their projects and Jensen peek around the privacy wall at Josh.

 

“You awake Jo-Jo? He asked softly. 

“Yeah, just lying here right now.” He answered.

“You feel like eating something?” Jensen asked.

“As long as it’s not Chinese take-away or Mexican I’m cool with it.”

“Good then let’s go downstairs and let the Chiam’s show you what a real deli can do. “

“Okay wait one.” He said reaching into his suitcase and coming out with a ball cap with fake ponytail attached.

“This way we can eat in peace. Just in case.” They went down to the deli where he was introduced to Rufus and Mildred.

“You’re too skinny.” Mildred complained and took out her order pad. Josh laughed as she took their order coming back shortly with three appetizers of kreplach. Their sandwiches arrived a bit later with Josh getting his Pastrami and Roast Beef on Rye with an extra side of Cole Slaw plus the French fries. 

 

“Please tell me you’re not like these messhugenehs to run all their good food off.” She said. 

“Afraid so.” He answered coyly. 

Mildred grinned and shook her head walking off. 

They dined well and long until after several beers with the exception of Jensen who had one beer followed by iced tea, between them they waddled up to the loft. 

 

“Oh man, I so could not live here. I’ve been two sizes larger in no time.” Josh said with a grin.

“They do tend to gravitate towards see people who are a little pudgy, which drives them up a wall about me and Jared.” Jensen said.

 

Jared got on the phone and made a few phone calls, Jensen did the same. Then they turned to Josh. “Okay we’re set for tomorrow 5:00.”

 

“Josh, how are you really feeling now?” Jared asked.

“Good, really good, a meal like that helped and just letting my hair down for a while plus a good cry didn’t hurt matters any.” Josh answered.

“I’ve missed you bro.” Jensen said wistfully.

“Oh God, don’t go starting that, you’ll get me all mugged up again.” Josh said.

“Can’t help it. You always were fun to hang out with.” Jensen told him.

“Josh is what the doc plugging you with helping?” Jared asked.

Josh considered that a moment and then said, “Well, it’s kept my T-cells in an acceptable range, and it’s kept this thing from blowing up into full blown AIDS. I’ve been really watching my diet and get more work out time in. Which reminds me…is there like a private gym around here I can go work out in between takes?” 

“Sure! You can be our guest at the Spa we’re a member of.” Jensen said. 

“Do they do male Brazilians?” He asked.

“I sure they can, or can recommend you to somebody who can.” Jensen mentioned.

“So Jenny, Jared, how’s this marriage thing working out for you guys?” Josh asked.

“Great actually, we’ve been dating and living together for the past two years. We clicked.” Jared told him.

“I’m looking forward to finding someone I can click with.” Josh said.

“You mean you don’t have a string of admirers and hot studs wanting you?” Jared asked playfully.

“Oh hell yeah, plenty of those, the only thing is that when it comes to the end of the day I want somebody to talk to, not just a pretty face and bod.” Josh said sighing. 

“Yeah, good conversation helps a lot.” Jensen replied.

“You hit first time lucky little brother of mine.” Josh told him.

“I worked hard at it.” Jensen replied. “I had to kiss a few toads to find my prince.”

“I don’t seem to remember you kissing all that many toads.” Jared said playfully.

“That’s because you weren’t around during my early years in high school, oh my God, not to mention middle school.” Jensen said grimacing.

“As far back as that!?” Jared said his eyebrows climbing.

“Well, I had my fair share of kissing events, and some petting, but I didn’t have sex until after middle school.” Jensen said.

“Oh man, this is a side of my little brother I never knew existed.” Josh said grinning.

“It wasn’t like that.” Jensen said trying to maintain some dignity.

“Oh it must’ve been exactly like that to get you this tore up.” Jared said grinning as well now.

“Ok, there was me and Tyler West in middle school, we had a hot fling that lasted all of a year and a half, then he decided one morning, oh guess what!? I’m straight.” Jensen said groaning. “Can we dispense with the “lets see how embarrassed we can make Jensen feel” study group.” 

“Oh we’re just getting started.” Josh said.

“Oh no Jo-Jo, we’re just finishing.” Jensen said getting up from his seat on the couch.

“Aw come on Jenny, don’t leave me hanging, tell me who you went all the way with.” Josh said brightly. Jensen whirled a wicked, malicious grin on his face, which made Josh think he may have pushed a button too far.

“Ben Wiggins! Satisfied, now gentlemen I’m grabbing a shower, I suddenly feel like I need one.” He said stomping out of the room.

“Ben Wiggins, Quarterback Ben Wiggins!?! Oh my God!!” Josh stared at the retreating back in amazement. “And here all the cheerleaders thought he was just saving it for marriage.”

Jensen’s back suddenly went rigid, “2008 under the bleachers in Magnum Field. He put it to me three times that night.” 

Josh chuckled then looked at Jared. “What’re you sitting here staring at me for, go after that. This is prime time for some nasty bitchfest sex.” Jared took off after Jensen while a quiet look came over Josh’s face as he headed into the guest room. 

 

“Jensen…” Jared said stepping into the bedroom. Jensen was angrily getting undressed. 

“So, what else do you want to know? Who gave me my first blow job, who I gave the first blow job too? No wait a minute, who was my first threesome?” Jensen said angrily.

“Jens, come on, don’t be like this.” Jared said grabbing Jensen from behind in a hug. 

“Don’t be like what, a walking billboard.” Jensen said stubbornly. “Look this is who he did it with next!” 

“Come on Jens, you’re blowing this all out of proportion.” Jared said as Jensen broke out of the hug. 

“No, I’m not damn it…!” Jensen railed now. Then he lowered his voice to a whisper. “My brother is HIV positive and you’re making jokes about who I fucked. I don’t think I’m blowing anything out of proportion!” He hissed. 

Jared pulled Jensen down on the bed and finally Jensen stopped fighting and buried his face in Jared’s chest hoping for it to act like a muffler. Finally they kissed in an awesome heart stopping kiss. Jensen cried into the kiss. Then he pushed back and screamed his frustration to the ceiling. There were silent footfalls then Josh peeking around the corner of the curtain. Looking askance at Jared. Then understanding, he walked in wearing just his boxers and he started rubbing circles on Jensen’s back. 

 

“I know baby bro, that’s exactly how I acted when I found out.” Josh said quietly 

“It’s not fair goddamnit, it’s just not fair!” Jensen sobbed out pounding the mattress. 

“Hey kiddo, ain’t nothing fair in this life. And only two things are sure, death and taxes. I’m dealing with it.” Josh told him quietly.

Jensen rolled his face into the mattress and screamed his frustration some more with both Jared and Josh alternately rubbing his back. Then the tears seemed to lessen some and his emotions were slowly getting back under control. Jensen pushed up off the bed. “I really need a shower now.”

“Yep you do reek a little.” Josh teased. 

“Make you think, reek.” Jensen shot back wiping his face.

“Too bad the industry isn’t a little safer, you could make a fortune in gay porn with an ass like that.” Josh said.

“Okay Jo-Jo, now we’re entering ‘strange’ territory again.” Jensen said with a try at a laugh.

“Seriously, the producers love a good bubble butt and yours is very well shaped.” Josh said swatting it. Then he stood facing Jensen and took his head kissing his forehead and cheeks. “Thanks for caring.” He said with love in his eyes. Then not letting it lie, “You know you could go in as a couple, I can think of a few producers I could recommend you to. I mean if you’re in proportion Jared.” 

“Ten and half enough proportion for you.” Jared shot back.

“Oh baby just make my tongue hard.” Josh kidded. “Grab the showers kiddo.” He said playfully swatting Jensen’s ass again.

“Love ya Jo-Jo.” 

“Love ya more Jenny.” 

 

Jared started stripping down as Josh left the room. In moments Jared and Jensen were in the bathroom embracing in a heated kiss which kept up its passion into the shower. Once in there they made out like teenagers until finally they had to pull apart to catch their breath. Jared reached down and cut off the water and went back to sucking, kissing, nibbling, all on Jensen’s sensitive neck, chest and eventually his stomach. 

 

He looked at Jensen’s cock jutting out and weeping droplets of precome. He paused only a moment before engulfing the head in his mouth, sucking greedily on it and loving him with every ounce of his being. His own erection was throbbing between his legs but he had other things in mind for his first load of the evening. Jared pulled off of Jensen for a moment and reached for the waterproof lube in the shower rack. He liberally lubed his index and middle finger and ran them gently over Jensen ass. He lubed again, this time pressing for entry, at the same time he dived back onto Jensen sucking him for all he was worth. 

 

Jared plunged his fingers in, in time his oral teasing of Jensen, that is until Jensen started face-fucking him building up a faster rhythm until at last Jensen let out a loud groan and came in several jets in Jared’s mouth. Jared was now ravenous himself and continued plundering Jensen’s hole until he could get three fingers comfortably in. Standing he took some more of the lube and glossed down his dick in the liquid. Then with infinite care pressed into Jensen, he groaned feeling the tense warmth envelope him and take him, until at last he was seated fully inside him. He pulled nearly all the way out and plunged back into him. This pace lasted for some time as Jensen was groaning his way through his last orgasm and after a few minutes of Jared riding him built up another fine hard-on. Then Jared started plunging in hard and fast, filling him until at last bowing backwards.

 

“JENS!” He shouted as he plunged in and nearly doubled over in the orgasm that shook him. Jared rode him through his orgasm then lubed himself turning to give Jensen a chance as his ass. Jensen wasted no time but slipped right in and in a half dozen thrusts was crying out Jared’s name as he filled him. 

 

Sated for the time being they turned the water back on and showered clean. It wasn’t until afterwards when they were in the bedroom pulling on their boxers that they remembered they had a houseguest.

 

“Sorry about that Jo-Jo!” Jensen said loudly.

“WHY!? I came twice just listening to y’all.” He said back.

“You’re strange brother of mine.” Jensen shot back.

“Was it as good for you!?” Jared shouted over. 

“I would say better, but the way you came out with JENS! That leaves me to wonder dude.” 

“Goodnight Jo-Jo.”

“Goodnight y’all.” Josh shouted back. 

“A loft would make the perfect apartment for us, you said.” Jensen started and was shut up with a kiss. They went to sleep curled up tight together. 

“Now I know what I should’ve got you for your wedding! His and His engraved cock rings!” Josh exploded in laughter over that. 

“Shut up Jens.” Jared said before kissing him thoroughly again. 

 

6:30 the next morning and they were going through their routine while Josh blissfully slept on. They took their run, then a cool down walk, then had Mildred fix them up some bagels with cream cheese and jelly on the side. They took that upstairs and started the coffee. Moments later Josh came around the corner of the privacy wall in his boxers.

 

“Bagels and coffee how’s that sound?” Jensen asked.

“Like a winning combination.” Josh said propping next to Sam in the kitchen while the bagels were being prepared. The coffee was ready moments later and soon they were sitting around the kitchen table preparing for onslaught that was to come. 

“Who do you figure will be by first to get an autograph?” Jensen asked Jared.

“Oh GOD! I’m not that big of a star. More like a little tiny twinkle.” Josh said. “Besides it’s murder out there, the cattle calls for auditions are brutal and they expect you to be able to get it up for an audition.” 

“You are that big of a star to some. I’m saying Chad will slink in first.” Jared said.

“I was thinking Misha, but you’re on $20?” Jensen responded.

“It’s a bet.” Jared told him. 

“Dudes!” Josh said.

“Hush, now what’s the line-up for the evening?” Jared asked.

“I called Misha and Chris who said he’d tell Harry and Shea.”

“I got Danneel who said she’d tell Soph and Chad, plus a couple of guys from my house. So we’re looking at around 30 to 50 people.” Jared said conservatively.

“Two kegs?” Jensen asked. 

Josh was looking from one to the other like he was at a tennis match. “Whoa wait a minute 30 – 50!” 

“Dude I’m telling you in the frat houses and the sorority groups you’re a hit.” Jared told him.

“But I’ve only done a handful of fuck flicks.” He argued.

“Not to mention that stint you did as an Abercrombie and Fitch model.” Jensen told him.

“Okay so I did a little modeling and some porn, big whoop!” Josh said disparagingly.

“Big whoop indeed, Jo-Jo; to some of these clowns all they do is stay in the dorms all weekend and watch porn. Some even watch it in a group.” Jensen mentioned.

“Now that’s just sad.” Josh said.

“That the life in a dorm for a single guy who doesn’t have a date. You make a date with Rosy Palm.” Jared said with a grin.

 

They killed most of the early part of the day getting stuff in for the party that evening. Then 2:00 came and the door buzzer sounded. 

“Chad.” Jensen said.

“Misha.” Jared said.

He pressed the call button. “Yeah!” 

“Hey it’s me open up!” Jared pressed the button shocked as was Jensen, it was Chris. He came upstairs carrying a suitcase of beer in one hand and a bag of ice on his shoulder. “Figured you’d under plan so I went ahead and brought over some extra. Oh and to get Josh to sign this for me.” He pulled two DVD cases from his back pocket. One was Army Fuckers and the other was Road Rash. Josh howled with laughter at the second one as he gladly signed them. 

“Road Trash was a wipe out for me. That was the first biker flick I’d ever done.” Josh admitted. 

“But Chris, you’re straight.” Jared said.

“Yeah and I saw these in the video store with Josh Ackles as the star and thought what the hell. I may never watch them but I can get them.” 

“And maybe flip em later on, on eBay?” Josh said.

“Nah, too many people come to my room, gay or straight and borrow from my stash, this will give them something to talk about. Let me run these down and stow em in my car.” He said.

 

Chris was back up in a flash and helped move the shelving /storage unit which formed the privacy wall for the bedroom to give them a little more space to pack a few more bodies into. They readjusted some of the furniture and turned it into a comfortable party area. Next up was Danneel and Sophia who “were in the neighbourhood” so they stopped in early with a snacks platter. And a couple of DVD’s to have autographed. Then the trickle-down effect started and soon the apartment was filled with teens and twenty something’s all rambling about getting drinks and autographs. A lot of pictures were taken and all too soon they’d reached max capacity and had to call a halt to letting anyone else up. That was okay though they had a smashing bang up of a party with plenty of music, and thanks to a few runs that had to be made by Chad and Christian, plenty to snack on. There was a viewing of Road Rash that Josh suffered through with lots of laughter at his jokes he shouted out. 

 

It was 10:00 before the door was about to shut on the last. Then it was just Jensen, Jared, Josh, Christian, and Harry alone with them sharing a final beer. 

“Man how is it you’re not blitzed?” Christian slurred.

“I’ve only had three beers that were real beer.” Josh said with a grin.

“Huh!?” 

“O’Doul’s.” Josh said still grinning.

“Shit.” Christian said.

“Thanks for the great party guys.” Josh told them raising his cup.

“Thank you for being here.” Jensen said. “Missed you.” He said.

“Oh God, now we’re getting all girly.” Christian moaned.

“Shut up. You’re doing okay.” Jensen said.

“Course I am, what makes you think I’m not?” Christian blurted.

“Jenny, you’re a little too blitzed for polite conversation.” Josh said giving his brother a look that said ‘shut the fuck up!’

“Am not Jo-Jo, you just think I am.” Jensen argued.

“Oh don’t go getting all righteous and that now Jen it’s been a great party.” Christian said.

“Come Chris, it’s late, we need to book.” A nearly sober Harry told his partner catching the look that was passed between Josh and Jensen.

“It’s just after ten, still early in the evening.” 

“And you’ve had a little over your limit.” Harry said throwing Jared and Josh a desperate look.

“Jo-Jo, don’t be a prick about it. Oo I made a funny.” Jensen giggled.

“Jenny drop it.” Josh finally said firmly.

Now Christian sobered up some and looked at them.

“What’s being hidden?” He asked suddenly all himself.

“Nothing that needs to bother you.” Josh said firmly.

“If it’s something that’s upset my friends, it bothers me. Maybe you don’t get it but me and Jensen are like brothers.” He said firmly himself.

Josh took a deep breath. “Keep this to yourselves.” He started. “I’m pregnant.” He said flatly then burst out in giggles. Christian sat there poker faced.

“Nice try Jo-Jo, now give me your best shot.” Christian said firmly.

“I’m HIV positive, satisfied asshole.” Josh said firmly back.

“Good shot.” Christian sat back all the air knocked out of him. “Dude, I’m like, man, oh shit, I’m sorry dude.”

“It’s cool. It’s known in the industry, my fan base just doesn’t know it yet.” Josh told him. “We’re here filming Army Fuckers II, and I’m doing an Abercrombie ad shoot, when it comes out there will be a special message on the front of the film. It will be that all the actors in the film are HIV positive and we’re living positive, healthy lives. Part of the proceeds will go towards the AIDS Foundation. It’s a pretty serious move for me. This will probably be my last film.” 

“But you’re doing okay? I mean you look great!” Christian said and then realized how that must’ve sounded and blushed crimson.

“I know what you’re saying and thanks, I am doing okay. Better than, I was tested three days ago and my T-Cell count came back the best it’s been in ages. I’ve got nothing to complain about.” He said with a grin.

“Cool.” Harry commented. “Glad to hear that. If you don’t mind my asking how long have you been infected?”

“Just over a year. I’m still a babe in the woods with this, learning how to deal with it and learning how to deal with others when they find out I’ve got it.” He said sadly.

“You’re just too cool for words man.” Harry said with a soft smile.

“Thanks man. That’s good for the ego.” Josh said with a smile.

“More than just for the ego, I hope.” Harry said.

“Man are you flirting with me?” Josh with his smile softening.

“And if I am?” Harry asked.

“I’d say that I’m taking you out tomorrow night.” Josh said with a grin.

“You got it.” Harry said with a grin in return.

“Oh my God, we got a hook up right here in your living room.” Christian said with a grin, himself.

“Christian, shut up and let’s go.” Harry said rising and pulling Christian to his feet. Harry walked over as Josh stood, Harry looked up at him with bright eyes. “You’re more handsome in person.” He offered his hand. Josh pulled him into a hug. Then a kiss, gentle, just a brush of the lips but a kiss nonetheless.

“DUDE!” Christian said.

“Shut it Chris!” Jensen said.

Jared just smiled. “See y’all later.”

 

Christian and Harry started down the stairs with Josh watching the progress as they left. Harry looked back up the stairs. 

“Tomorrow night 6:00.”He said. 

“Can’t wait.” Josh said actually sighing.

They left and he came back into the apartment. Looking around there was minor devastation to the room, nothing and hour or two of cleaning wouldn’t fix. Jared was already picking up around the room while Jensen started straightening furniture back out. Josh was humming to himself and the started cleaning in the kitchen. There were two cans of beer left out of the suitcase that Christian brought up, the kegs were drained. And some of their private stock had been tapped. Not too badly. Thankfully. The dining room table was easy enough to clean up and in the midst of all this homeliness. Jensen looked over and caught the smile on Josh’s face.

“Way to go, Jo-Jo.” He said with a very loving brotherly smile.

“Thanks li’l bro.” Josh answered pleased as well.

“Seriously, I’m glad you’ve got someone aside from us to keep you occupied.” Jensen said.

“Oh, it’s just a one night thing, they always are.” Josh said sadly.

“But what if it could be more?” Jared asked.

“I go on each date hoping for that.” Josh answered seriously.

“Good luck with this one.” Jared said with a warm smile.


	27. Chapter 27

They got the privacy wall moved back into position. And the basics of cleaning up the room. It had been a very successful evening, with much laughter, drinking and general good times to be had by all. Josh was very happy as he tucked in for the night . 

 

The next morning was Saturday, and at 11:00 the door buzzer rang. 

“Hey!” Jensen said.

“Hey yourself, it mom and dad.” Sherri said. They were immediately buzzed up. The meeting was more than a little emotional to say the least. When Josh saw Sherri come in first he looked up and tears filled his eyes.

“Mama.” He said, she ran to him with open arms. Alan stepped in and there was a group hug with Alan, Sherri, and Josh. They finally broke apart after several minutes of tears and Josh laughed.

“Hey I’m not dead yet, and with these drugs they go now days, I stand a good 20-30 years before I have anything to really worry about. I just gotta be real careful with my health that’s all.” He said trying to lighten the moment. 

“Why didn’t you call when you were diagnosed?” Sherri asked.

“I was afraid. I still am. Mom, Dad, you know the kinds of films I make, I’d like to break into TV but there’s no place for a 2 bit porn star.” Josh said.

“You always sell yourself short. Quit that.” Jensen said. “Look at what Marilyn Chambers did after she finished porn films, and Tori Evans, both porn stars who did good. You got a chance too.” 

“You’re real hopeful, and I appreciate that, but…” His cell phone went off. “Hello? Yeah…what? You’re kidding aren’t you? Holy shit! Cool…book it.” He disconnected the call and looked at them. “Okay you gotta quit what you’re doing and come with me as a good luck charm. That was some serious hoo-doo there guys.”

“What are you talking about?” Sherri asked.

“That was Brad Hampton, my agent. Camille Patton called, she wants me to read for a part in “Justified!”

“Oh dude!” Jared said running over and clapping him on the shoulder.

“Jo-Jo that’s great!” Jensen said grinning.

Mom and Dad, of course couldn’t look prouder.

“It for five episodes!” He said disbelievingly. 

“You got your launch, now get your agent to work booking you in other casting calls. I take it you can act?” Alan said sarcastically grinning.

“Of course, most of porn is just that, acting.” Josh said with a start.

“Oh holy…oh wow!! YES!!” He shouted. They all laughed with him over his good fortune. “I gotta film starting tomorrow, and no mom, dad, you may not come on the set.” He said primly. Sherri had the very good grace to blush furiously, even Alan turned a shade pink.

“Well at least you got your motivation back!” Jensen said proudly with a grin.

“I’m stoked!” Josh said grinned broadly.

“Good let’s go out and celebrate your good fortune and have dinner, all we had coming out was an airplane meal. We checked into out motel and came straight over.” Sherri said with a nod.

“Yes mom.” He grabbed up his ball cap and slapped it on. “Can we go somewhere with some atmosphere…”

“Someplace private?” Jensen kidded.

“That would be good.” Josh told him. 

“How about Damani’s, they’re a little Italian place downtown, real good food and they set you in very private booths.” Jared pointed out.

“Sound good.” Alan replied. “We’re in a rental so we’ll follow you.” 

 

They were shortly in the restaurant and with Josh seated kind of in the back of the booth they ordered drinks and appetizers. The meal was festive even with the pall of the HIV scare hanging over Josh’s head. 

 

“Hon, I hate to pry but you’ve always been so careful in life how did you uh…contract…” Sherri asked.

Josh drew in on himself a little for a moment. “It was a co-star of mine in one of films before the Army flick. We were all tested prior to filming and his test came back positive. He was supposed to have been put on suspension for 90 days. But they wanted to go ahead with the shoot so I said okay but only with protection.” Now it was Josh’s turn to turn bright red. “We were in the middle of the shoot and he was going for the money shot. He uh he pulled out yanked off his condom and ejaculated on my backside. I had a small cut at the base of my spine I’d been trying to get healed up and well…That’s what we’re figuring happened, it’s the only thing that makes sense. I had the lab so a few extra tests and full body exam and that’s when they found the cut on me.” Josh fidgeted a little now. “He wasn’t supposed to uh shoot on my backside but on my back.”

 

“I take it you took action against him?” Alan said hard.

“Oh yeah, the studio fired him from the shoot, he was taken out of the credits, and I filed a lawsuit against him. We had good control over the case as it went to court so that the jury didn’t know we were porn movie stars. I won a settlement I’m still collecting on.” 

 

“So what are your plans?” Alan asked.

“I plan to shoot the rest of this flick, then I was going to take a vacation but it looks like that’ll have to go on the back burner for now while I go to read for “Justified.”” He said.

“I am so excited for you.” Jensen said meaning it.

“I can’t wait, you’ll get it for sure.” Sherri said as their entrées came around. 

“Other than that, I plan to carry on life as normal, I’m not going to cancel life because of this scare. In fact, I have a date tonight.” He said proudly.

“Good for you son.” Alan said. “Don’t let life kick you when you’re down.”

“I’m not about to, there’s too many positive variables.” Josh told them. 

 

The rest of the meal went better than Josh would have guessed, part of a family gathering again, but this time the focus of the gathering. It made him a little nervous but proud all the same. He was glad when coffee was finally served.

 

“I was so scared when I found out, I couldn’t, wouldn’t talk to anyone about it for weeks until at last a co-star in the Army flick told me about a support group in Vancouver where we were shooting, the only reason he knew about it was because his partner is positive, so they check into these things wherever we’re filming.” Josh told them. “I went to my first meeting on the last day of the shoot but it encouraged me to seek groups like that out in other filming areas. So it’s been good.” 

“Why the ball cap with the ponytail? Sherri asked.

“There are places I want to go with people I want to go with and not have to worry about fans running up. Granted I’m not a real big name star, but I admit I’ve done a couple of good films that have seen a lot of play, one even played at Sundance Film Festival. And I’ve been castigated by the fundamentalist media, in fact we all have been so we are like moving targets. We try to keep a low profile.”

“Not all that bad of an idea.” Alan observed.

“It’s saved my bacon a few times.” He admitted.

 

They went for a walk around a nearby park and then back to the apartment. 

“I’m sure you want to get ready for your date, will you be available tomorrow evening for a while?” Sherri asked.

“Yeah, sure, we close up filming at 3:00 usually, It takes me an hour to shower off all the baby oil, don’t ask, and then checking out of the set. The studio I’m working for is actually a quality group, not some backyard slap shack.” Josh said.

“Okay then, say about 6:00? Sherri asked.

“We’ll fix dinner.” Jared volunteered. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve got a couple of great recipes I’ve been wanting to try out on a group. Don’t worry, Jared and I already field tested them and they’re really neat.” Jensen said. 

“You don’t have to run do you, I mean just because I’ve got a date, come on hang around for a while. Please?” He asked.

“Oh okay, we can meet this new flame in your life.” Alan agreed finally. 

“So far he’s a spark and a flicker, but I kind of hope it’ll turn into a flame.” He looked away for a minute with a pained expression. 

“Tired of being alone sweetie?” Sherri came up and hugged him from behind. 

“It feels good to be part of the family again.” He said turning in her hug to face her.

 

He kissed her and after a minute they broke the hug so he could gather up his clothing and take a shower and change. 

 

“I’m going to use the master to change in if you don’t mind.” He asked.

“Of course not, especially since it’s right off the bathroom.” Jared said back.

“Thanks guys.” He shouted back as he ran through and started his preparations, it wasn’t until he was in the shower and the water was heard running that Sherri seemed like a balloon someone let the air out of suddenly. She collapsed into Alan’s arms weeping. 

 

“Mom?” Jensen asked.

“Sherri?” Alan asked.

She wept for several more long minutes then finally started to taper off. She gasped after a good ten minutes of that and looked at Alan.

“I’m sorry darling, it’s just a lot know what our baby has gone through and thinking he had to do it on his own. I’m so proud of him for his courage and at the same time know he’s gotta be a lot more frightened than what he’s letting on.” She said.

“He’d definitely himself.” Jensen said.

“Actually for someone that’s been put under a death sentence like that he’s handling it abnormally well.” Jared observed.

 

They were about to talk more about that when they heard the water turn off. There was silence for several minutes then the sound of a blow dryer running. Sherri went into the kitchen and splashed some cold water on her face and carefully dried, then returned over to the living room while Jensen opened a bottle of wine for them. 

 

It was 5:30 and Josh came out clean and dressed immaculately. 

“What da think, too casual” He asked about the open throated pale yellow polo shirt with a pair of white slacks.

“Stud.” Jensen said. His mom wolf whistled. Josh blushed. And just then the buzzer hit. Jared walked over to spare a nervous Josh.

“Yeah?” 

“Harry here, is my prince charming ready?”

“Come on up you goof ball.” He said opening the door. In moments Harry was in the apartment dressed out in a light pink button down shirt open throated with a pair of well maintained, ironed jeans.

They looked each over and smiled.

“I think it’s a go mission.” Jensen said from his position in the living room. 

“Oh shut up Jenny.”

“Jo-Jo, you and Harry go have fun.” Jensen said with a cocky grin.

“Have him home by midnight.” Sherri called which got a laugh. 

“Don’t worry I’ll take good care of him.” Harry called back. 

“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Jared said grinning as well.

“Come on Josh, let’s blow this firetrap.” Harry said grabbing his hand and pulling. They were out the door and gone.

 

“I hope this is the start of something good.” Jensen said.

“Even if it’s just a date, it’s good for both of them.” 

“We’re going to go back to our motel, it’s early in the evening but I’m tired.” Alan said rising. 

“Okay we’ll see you tomorrow night.” Jensen said as he and Jared walked them out. Once the door closed.

 

“It’s you and me, we got the apartment to ourselves, homework’s caught up, suggestions?” Jensen said trailing kisses down Jared’s jawline.

“Let’s go to the bedroom to discuss this.”

 

Josh and Harry were in a quiet bistro a short drive into the downtown area. Josh was understandably nervous as was Harry.

 

“You know it’s not a sin to relax.” Josh said playfully.

“You first. This is my first real date in a little while.” Harry replied.

“Why’s that?” Josh asked.

“I’ve been accused of being slightly clingy.” Harry admitted.

“I don’t mind clingy.” Josh told him.

“You don’t, that’s a first for me.” Harry said.

“I deal all the time with people who are pushing me or keeping me at an arms distance, ready to pull into action, or willing to shove me into the next project. It would feel good to be just wanted for me.” Josh said.

“That’s not a problem.” Harry told him with a grin.

“You don’t mind hanging out with a guy that’s HIV positive?” Josh asked.

“Brings out the nurse in me.” Harry said smiling as they drove. Arriving at their destination they sat in the car for a bit.

“This is new for me.” Josh told him.

“What’s that being with a black guy?” Harry said.

“NO! Nothing like that, no I’ve been wrapped up in filming so much here recently that I hardly remember what it’s like to have down time.”

“Come with me and let me remind you.” Harry said starting to get out of the car. Josh grabbed his arm stopping him for a moment. 

“Thanks for taking a chance with me.” Josh said with a smile. They looked at each other for a brief moment and then leaned in and kissed.

 

The rest of the evening as poets would write was history. It was just after midnight when Jared answered the door buzzer.

“It’s me.” Josh said. When they saw him they grinned. 

“Don’t tell me you put out on a first date?” Jared said as he came through the door.

“Nah, we been down by the river, watching the stars and making out like two teenagers. It’s been wonderful, we’d going out tomorrow night. My regrets to you and the folks. But he’s meeting me at 4:00 after his last class and we’re going to drive to the bay.” Josh told him.

Jensen looked around the curtain and then stepped out in his boxers only. “I think mom and dad will understand. So y’all hit it off?” 

“Oh did we ever, same taste in music, same tastes in food, I like life simplified, he can stand a little turmoil. I’m needy, his words and he’s clingy. We click. For the first time in years I finally meet someone I click with, I’m not turning this down.” Josh said smiling wistfully.

“Oh shit!” Jensen asked.

“What!” Josh asked surprised suddenly.

“Makeup’s going to have a helluva time covering that hickie up.” Jared noted surprised.

“We got a little passionate. Don’t worry, hand jobs in condoms.” Josh said with a grin.

“TMI Jo-Jo.” Jensen said with a grimace.

“You love the details and you know it. Anyway, it’s been a long night for me. So I’m going to bed.” Josh said thumbing towards the guest room. 

“Sleep well.” Jensen chimed.

“Oh I will, I will.” Josh chimed back.

“Oh God, we’ve created a monster.” Jared mumbled.

 

The next morning’s routine went as planned with Josh joining them on their early morning job only after clearing it with them.

“Look I don’t want to crowd you.” He insisted.

“You’re not, we always go on this run and it’s cool to have an extra.” Jared assured him.

“Jenny? I mean I can jog another block.” Josh said.

“Will you come on with us, already.” 

 

After the run they were sufficiently awakened enough for breakfast. They took their breakfast at the deli, then after going upstairs flipped for the shower. Josh won the toss , so while he was in showering they took time to scan the morning news, nothing remarkable to report thankfully. Even the film shoot was uncovered for which they were profoundly grateful. 

Josh came out of the shower toweling off thoughtfully and walked into the living room where Jared and Jensen were in their middle of their surfing. They looked up unshocked at his nakedness, Jared taking an extra minute to admire Josh’s body.

“You look better in person that in the film.” Jared complimented.

“Well little Jo-Jo is playing hide and seek this morning.”

“Admit it bro, you’ve always been a grower not a shower.” 

“Our turn.” Jared said jumping to his feet along with Jensen as they headed in.

“Anything on the local news about the shoot?” Josh called. Jared stepped from behind the curtain taking off his jogging shorts and thong. Josh eyed him appreciatively for a moment. 

“Like what you see?” He asked.

“Yeah, but I know better than to poach on claimed territory. Damn you got a whopper just hanging there, what do you average, nine?” 

“Ten and a half.” Jared said with a grin causing Josh’s jaw to drop. “And no nothing out of the ordinary in the news this morning.”

“Good some of these do-gooder groups get the word that we’re going to be in an area filming and will stage protests.”

“Nope you lucked out.” Jensen confirmed.

“Good…we’re shooting in a couple of hours so I’m going to go on over and familiarize myself with the set and the people I’ll be working with.”

“Okay, see you this afternoon?”

“Sure I’ll have a little time between getting out of there and my date with Harry tonight.” Josh replied.

“This is serious.” Jensen said smiling.

“I certainly hope so. I’m working hard enough to try to make this something.” He admitted.

“You’re lonely?” 

“Very! I’m surrounded by all these gorgeous body’s on the set but when shooting’s over we part ways. I’d love to have someone to come back to my motel room too that wasn’t a hooker.” He said quietly.

“Well break a leg!” Jared said with a grin. 

Jensen ran over to his brother and gave him a hug then a kiss on the cheek. “Good luck, I hope he’s everything you want.”

“Go on, you reek.” 

“I thought sweat was supposed to be a turn on?” Jensen said playfully.

“Only to grunge-seekers. I like my men spic and span with maybe a hint of cologne.” Josh grinned.

Jensen joined Jared and together they went into the bathroom. When they came out Josh was already gone to the set. 

Jared started a fresh pot of coffee while Jensen fingered his cell phone thoughtfully. Jared eyed him a moment and shook his head. “Don’t you dare.” 

“What?” Jensen asked innocently.

“Play cupid. Leave that to nature.” Jared told him.

“I just want to get Harry’s take on their date.” 

“Then do it later over at the house, but don’t call him at 9:00, give the dude a break, he’s probably still in bed.”

“Yeah maybe.” Jensen said doubtfully. Just then Jensen’s cellphone went off. It was Harry.

 

“Harry?” Jensen asked.

“Yeah man, look you got Josh’s cell number, I meant to get it last night and it completely slipped my mind.” Harry said.

“Dude! That’s like the number one fatal error in new romances.”

“Just shut the fuck up and give me his number.” 

“Ok don’t say I didn’t warn you though, it’s 802-555-9659.”

“Gotcha. Uh did he say anything this morning about last night?” Harry asked.

Jensen sighed dramatically. “Ok, direct quote from him. “I’m working hard enough to try and make this something.”

“Oh shit! I’m a nobody! He’s a name why would he be interested in a me.”

“In case you’ve failed to notice, you are not that bad looking, Speaking as a frat brother, I’d give you a high 9.5 in the looks department.”

“Generous of you.” Harry said sarcastically. 

“Seriously. He is looking, he’s lonesome, and you might just be that someone, just don’t overplay your hand.” Jensen said.

“Oh man, I have so got to look my best tonight.” Harry started.

“What you gotta do is be yourself. Don’t go out to try and be Mr. GQ. Go for casual, something down to earth.”

“You actually mean my everyday duds?” Harry said.

“Yeah man, you regular clothes.” Jensen told him. “He’s looking for someone to come home to not a fashion plate. Show him the real you.”

“Okay, if you really think that’ll work.”

“Trust me for once!” Jensen said.

“Ok, later!” The call disconnected and Jensen immediately dialed Josh even with Jared waving him off.

 

“Jenny?” Josh said puzzled.

“Look I just got off the phone with Harry, somebodies forgot to exchange cell numbers last night.”

“Oh shit I knew I was forgetting something.” Josh mentioned. 

“Are you in traffic or at the set?” Jensen asked.

“Just arrived at the set.” He told him.

“Grab something to write with and write on. Got it?” 

“Hold on!” Josh told him. “Okay got it.” 

“926-555-4530. He asked about tonight I told him to wear what he would normally wear around the frat house and school. Everyday clothes.” Jensen said.

“Smooth, good idea. We need to see each other like…yeah I like that.” Josh said nervously. “God I feel like a kid on a first date.” 

“You’ve to a chance with this one. Stay in town for a while and give this a try.” 

“Good idea. Is there someplace near you that’s opened up?” 

“What?” Jensen asked momentarily clueless.

“Apartment you come slut! What do you mean what?” Josh asked.

“We’ll go out for a walk later on and see what we can come up with.” 

“Cool bro. I owe you big time for this!” Josh said.

“We’ll work on that later, right now let’s work on getting you too a regularly dating couple.” Jensen told him.

“Later bro.” 

“Love ya bro.”

“You too.” Josh said as they disconnected.


	28. Chapter 28

  
Author's notes: BTW lovelies there is a bit of gay porn produced by Eurocreme called "Army Fuckers" and it is great material. I could easily see Josh in one of the films.  
:  
:  


* * *

Jensen sat back processing when a thought struck him. He dialed another number.

“Who now?” Jared asked.

“Landlord.” Jensen said.

“Hello, Jared.” The voice answered.

“Hi Mr. Bernard, I got a question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“My brother is in town and looking to hang around a while, do you have another loft available?”

“Let me think.” Mr. Bernard answered as Jensen heard the tactile clatter of a keyboard. “Got one opening up in the next block at the end of the month. Same price as yours.” He said.

“If I can wrangle him away from his job for a little while do you think we can see it Monday?” Jensen asked.

“Sure. Just give me a call in advance and I’ll meet you and him over there.”

“Great thanks Mr. Bernard.”

“Thank you, that might save me the advertising costs and trouble.” Mr. Bernard told Jensen.

“I certainly hope so. Monday then.” Jensen said.

“Okay Goodbye.” And that call was disconnected.

 

“I talked him into staying in LA for a while after this shoot, so he and Harry will have a chance.” Jensen told him.

“You’re really worked up over this aren’t you?” Jared said curiously.

“Let’s just say that I know my brother well enough that he don’t do worth a shit on his own. He needs someone like Harry.” Jensen said.

“You realize this could backfire?” Jared said.

“Please don’t rain on my parade this soon.” Jensen begged.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m just being practical. Just because they clicked on a first date is nothing. They’re going to have to be around each other for a little while to make this thing work.” Jared told him.

 

That afternoon Josh arrived from his shoot, sweaty and tired. Jensen eyed him as he came in. “Shower first then some beer. 

Josh nodded and then hit the showers, a half hour later he came out clean and feeling rejuvenated, he went to the guest room and changed clothes to his everyday stuff. A pair of well-loved jeans and Denver Bronco’s tee shirt and sandals. He helped himself to some beer and was into his second one when they heard the buzzer. 

It was Harry, they let him up and he came in wearing a paisley button down shirt, a well-love pair of khaki’s and boat shoes.

“Come on in and have a beer.” Josh called from the living room. 

Harry took the proffered beer and came through into the living room and looked at Josh. He could see how tired he was and knew why, that thought made him a little jealous. Then he brushed that aside. 

“Why don’t we skip the movie tonight and just chill?” Harry said sitting next to him on the love seat.

“Best idea I’ve heard all day.” Josh said. “I’m sorry to not be a bundle of cheer, but we had a kind of roughish day on the set. Luke Johnson was sent to hospital today with what appears to be pneumonia. He’d also been skipping his meds. The producer said sixty days was all he had to get his act cleaned up.”

“Aw man, Sorry to hear that.” Harry said cuddling against him.

“You might want to think twice about hooking up with someone like me.” Josh said depreciatingly. “I take my meds, hell I’m manic about it. But just one little thing.”

“And we’ll deal with that when it happens. This may just be the second date, but I happen to like who I’ve hooked up with.” Harry said sternly.

“Thanks, I kinda like you too.” Josh said cuddling back against him. “I know it’s not the same as a motel room, but uh you want to adjourn to the guest room with me?” Josh said.

“I’d love nothing better.” Harry said in reply.

 

With a shy smile to Jared and Jensen they got up and went around the privacy wall. “We’re going out for a while. Give you two some real privacy.” Jensen said grabbing Jared by the hand. 

“We’re not trying to run you out of your own apartment.” Josh piped back.

“Don’t worry brother of mine, we’re going shopping with you tomorrow. My landlord has a place opening up in the next block you might be interested in.” Jensen said.

“Cool!” 

“We’ll be back later.” Jared called. Then they left for the evening.

“So what do we do?” Jared asked as they walked down the stairs. 

“I was thinking dinner and a movie.” Jensen said.

“Umm, sounds like a deal to me. Let’s do it.” Instead they had dinner and then went to the theatre of performing arts on campus and watched a production of “Steel Magnolias.” It was after 9:30 when they finished and they drove back to the apartment in a quiet, meditative mood. Ascending the stairs they got into the apartment to silence. Jensen cat footed his way over to the privacy wall and whispered, “Jo-Jo?” 

No answer so he peaked around and then cat footed back over to Jared.

“They’re asleep or passed out, I can’t tell which, but I’m for leaving them be.” Jensen said.

“Agreed. God knows Josh has earned some quiet time. “ Jared mentioned.

 

The next morning Jared and Jensen got up to the sound of the shower. They came out and saw Josh fixing a light breakfast in the kitchen. Jensen walked over and threw and arm around Josh’s shoulders.

 

“How’s it going big brother?” Jensen asked quietly.

“Not to shabbily, Harry spent the night with me. We got kinda trashed out last night and we talked, and well we had a good time.” Josh said with a smile.

“Good, anybody who can make you smile like that has my vote.” Jensen said kissing him on the cheek. “Going for our run, see you in a little while.”

“Okay.” Josh said with that little smile again.

Jared and Jensen made their run, then their walk around the block and got back to the apartment just as Harry was helping Josh load the dishwasher.

 

“Hi guys.” Harry said shyly.

“Somebody got lucky.” Jared sing-songed.

Harry smiled a bit, “yeah, we had a good time last night. Thanks guys, owe you for that one.”

Jared shrugged with a smile as he and Jensen got ready to hit the shower. When they’d finished Josh and Harry were curled up on the love seat together sipping coffee. Jared and Jensen were dressing when they heard Harry’s voice. 

“You could always move in with me in the frat house, my room’s big enough for two.”

“Thanks, but if we’re even gonna think about doing this, I want a place with some privacy that we don’t have to run people out of to enjoy the evening.”

“Good point.” Harry noted then looked up at Jared and Jensen. “Sorry about that guys.” 

“That’s okay, we went to the auditorium on campus and watched “Steel Magnolias.” I forgot just how sad that is.”

“Well sad and funny.” Jared insisted to Jensen.

“Take a whack at Ouiser!!” Jensen mimed. “God how I loved the movie and the play’s as good.

 

“You wanna go apartment shopping with me today?” Josh asked Harry. 

“I’d love to. That is, if I won’t be in the way.” Harry said indicating Jensen and Jared.

“Looks like you might end up being our brother-in-law so no, no putting us out, let’s see what the neighbourhood has to offer.

 

Jensen made the call and set up a time to meet their landlord then they walked leisurely down the block and into the next one where their landlord was just pulling up. 

“Mr. Bernard, my brother Josh and his boyfriend Harry.” Jensen introduced.

“Well let’s go up.” The landlord said. “Like I was telling Jensen, this is a lot like their apartment, it does have kind of an alcove the former residents used as their master suite. But I’ll let you see for yourself.” He opened the door to an eggshell white painted loft. It was every bit as big as Jared and Jensen’s and the bedroom overlooked the city. It’s got a full bath plus a half bath. The kitchen set up is pretty much new, it was redone in 2010. Rents $1450 a month with a deposit up front.” 

“Is this the only apartment on this end of the building?” Josh asked.

“It’s the only apartment in the building. I got another one you can look at as well just around the corner, walking distance.” Mr.Bernard said. Josh took a deep breath. 

“No, I don’t think that’s necessary, can we go ahead and draw up papers on this one?” He asked.

“Sure, I brought a blank lease just in case.” He said with a smile as he pulled a folded packet of paper from his shirt pocket. It was a standard lease, a full year, penalty clause if the lease was broken. “So are you going to school here as well?” Mr. Bernard asked.

“No I’m in the film industry.” Josh said absently.

“Really. Do say now.” 

“Yeah, I’ve had eight fair successful films and looking at getting into a breaking TV show.” 

“Aw, that’s good, what’s some of the movies you’ve been in, I may have seen one?” Mr. Bernard asked.

“I kinda doubt it unless you’re into adult films.” Josh said blushing slightly.

“That depends, which films?” Mr. Bernard asked.

“Army Fuckers.” Josh said with a grin. Bernard blinked and then laughed. 

“Got a copy.” He said, “I thought I recognized your face.” He said. “Don’t worry, I keep my clients names and businesses my business and nobody elses.” Bernard said.

“Thank you.” Josh said with a smile. “I’d appreciate that. I’m coming out of the adult film genre and am looking to get into a regular television series.”

“Why? You make a good stud actor.” Bernard said.

“Thanks, but I’m tired of it.” 

“Grinding you down huh?” The older man said with a concerned look.

“Yeah, it’s a hard life, I guess those who do straight up movies feel the same way after a while.” Josh told him. Josh took out his checkbook wrote out a check for the rent and they exchanged handshakes and a set of keys was given to him. Then they parted ways.

Josh and Harry stood in the middle of the space with Jensen and Jared standing off to one side letting them take it all in. 

“You really…” Josh started to asked Harry but was shushed with a kiss. When they broke Harry cupped Josh’s face with a loving expression. “I wouldn’t have said yes to a date if I hadn’t thought I’d have a chance with you. But I do want you to get out of the porn industry, it’s too much of a load on you, so please?” 

“This is my last film for Scorpion Films. I’m out of it. I’ve got a fair sized nest egg put by and we can live off that for three or four years or more just depends.”

“Do you mind if I finish school?” Harry asked.

“I was going to insist on it.” Josh told him. Then he looked around the room. “Now we gotta furnish this place.” 

“I want to help!” Harry insisted.

They turned to Jared and Jensen. “I guess this means we go shopping.” Josh said grinning 

“Okay, I’m going to go back to the frat house for a while, I’ve got to get ready for class tomorrow.” Harry said to them.

“Is it a ‘gotta do’ thing right now?” Josh asked. “I’d really like you to come along.” He said.

“You don’t need me on this.” Harry said smiling.

“I want you with me on this.” Josh said.

“Is there any particular budget you want to stay in?” Jared asked.

“Kinda like what you guys got.” He replied.

“Jernigan’s.” Jensen said laughing.

“What’s the joke?” Josh said curiously.

“They’ve become something of a regular fixture for us in the furniture line.”

“Good maybe they’ll cut a deal.” Josh said grinning.

“Come on.” Jared said.

 

A half hour later found them pouring over sofa and love seat combinations, dining room suites, and bedroom furniture. An hour longer and they were giving the salesperson directions to the apartment as they had picked out the furniture. They’d decided on a bright floral print for the living room. Josh was dying to get away from leather. They found a bedroom suite that Josh fell in love with and Harry seemed to like quite a bit as well. A simple cherry wood dresser and bed, nothing overblown. They found a dinette that suited them as well. Then came the shopping for interior stuff like bedding and such. So they went to a local department store and loaded up the back of the Honda with bedding and bath, kitchen, and some knick-knacks. They got their treasures unloaded at the new apartment just moments before the truck from Jernigan’s arrived with the furniture. They just got out of the way as stuff was brought up and set up. Then with a little shifting here and there they soon had a furnished apartment.

 

Jared and Jensen decided to leave Harry and Josh to get the apartment broke in. Harry and Josh argued with them of course.

“Look you got some finishing touches to put on then you got a new place to break in. You don’t need us around.” Jared told them.

“But we want you around.” Josh said.

“For what a foursome!” Jensen joked. “Come on you guys need some quiet time. We’ve been hanging out all day. Besides you’re going to have to plan a party with the house for this place.” 

“That’s right, we need to break it in really proper.”

 

They went to a local hardware store and had an extra set of ground floor door keys made and traded them, that way they could just walk on up.

 

“We won’t be pests.” Harry said smiling.

“You know Chris is going to miss you.” Jensen kidded.

“Christian has his hands full already just dealing with Chad and his bullshit.” Harry told him. “Besides we can’t live in a frat house forever.”

“No someday you gotta move on.” Jensen agreed. “See you tonight?” Jensen asked

“Doubt it. We got a night shoot to do down in the park, then we wrap tomorrow or the day after depending on how things go.” Josh told him.

“Okay, we’ll see you later then.”

 

Jared and Jensen drove quickly back to their apartment and after walking up closed the door on their inner sanctum. They looked around a moment and nodded.

“We haven’t done so bad have we?” Jensen said smiling.

“Nah, I’d have to say we’ve done damn good.” Jared told him giving him a hug. 

“You mind a little cuddle time?” Jensen asked. 

Jared smiled down at him steered him towards the bedroom. They curled up together on the bed content to just be in each other’s arms. They remained that way for about an hour and then slowly stirred citing that they had homework to get done and sent in before deadline. They were loath to leave the comfort of the bed and each other’s arms as they were snuggling to the point of being about to take a nap. 

“I, so need to get stirring and get that paper on Bonhoefner ready to turn in.” Jensen.

“You on Bonhoefner and me on The Influence of World War II on American Operas. Plus I’ve got to go over to the school this afternoon for class to play a piece by Shubert.” Jared said.

“Just two more years! I keep telling myself, two more years.” Jensen said with a grin.

“I know, it won’t be long. In fact, I’m going to go ahead and start checking out some leads and go from there.”

“Don’t forget that we have the benefit to play for this weekend, we need to get some practice time in for that as well.” Jared told him.

“I know.” Jensen said smiling. He truly loved the life that he had with Jared, and was getting better over their separation periods. He wanted to build on all of that and maybe write something that would outline what they’d gone through as a matter of course to others who might be undergoing similar problems. 

 

It took a little over an hour but Jensen finished his paper and got it submitted while Jared finished his and submitted it as well. They celebrated their completion by a leisurely lunch and then a walk to just get out for a while. They ended up in Blackwell Park part of the campus. Sitting down just off the walking trail they rested contemplating what to do next. Jensen was comforted in the fact that for once in their somewhat muddled marriage they seemed to be having a calm period. 

 

No attacks of random violence, no debris falling from the sky to proclaim doomsday, he was still unbelieving that his brother and Harry hit it off so quickly. He’d have to ask into that a bit more. But for now all seemed peaceful and serene in their little corner of the universe. They were toying with the idea of pulling down the privacy wall and making the place a single bedroom accommodation again then shelved that notion, a guest room wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world they could have and really it didn’t take up that much of the overall room space.

 

It was later that afternoon, around 5:00 that they heard a knock at the door. Jensen answered the knock fully expecting it to be Josh and Harry, instead of was Hiram Bernard their landlord. He was grinning mischievously.

“Just found out something interesting you might like to be on the inside lane about.” 

“Excuse me what?” Jensen asked politely.

“Let me borrow your TV and DVD player a minute.” He said entering the apartment.

“Mr. Bernard, hello? What brings you out our way.” Jared asked curiously.

He walked over to the DVD player chuckling. 

“Boyfriend my ass.” Hiram said grabbing the remote and fast forwarding the movie. He finally found the spot. “This was on a DVD that Josh had done a couple of years ago called Twinkie Trash. Check this action out.” He started playing it and Jensen naturally flinched at seeing his brother in a sexual situation, then a young black dude came into the picture. There was no mistaking the features.

“HARRY!” Jared and Jensen said looking at each other in shock.

“I gotta get this autographed by both of them.” He chuckled as he ejected the DVD. “Didn’t know your big brother was such a player I’ll bet.”

“Actually, no I didn’t but then I don’t make it a habit to watch him fucking on screen like that. Oh my God! No wonder they hit it off so tight.” 

“This explains a lot of things alright, but it still begs the question, why’d they act like they’d never seen each other before?” Jared asked.

“I’m going to ask that one myself.” Jensen said with a grin. “Thanks for the insider information. I promise not only to get you in for autographs but we’ll have a proper sit down dinner real soon and you can have an evening with the stars.” Jensen said wickedly.

“Just wanted to pass that on, well, gotta run, gotta go take care of some plumbing problems in one of my other units. See you boys later.” Hiram said letting himself out. Jensen and Jared looked at each other still stunned. About fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door, Jensen answered and it was Harry and Josh.

“Here’s the happy couple. Come on in guys the beers cold and the conversation hot.” Jensen said letting them in. 

“Hey Jenny, Harry and I were going out for pizza, wanna come.” Josh asked.

“Oh Jo-Jo, you have no idea. I want some dirt dished up.” Jensen said.

“Speaking of wanting to come, come over here and take a look at this.” Jared called from the Dining room where he sat with his laptop. It was Josh getting soundly fucked by a young black male who was visible only from the neck down for that shot. Jared started the flick and the camera panned. He paused the movie again. They both stopped and looked at Harry who was now blushing and suddenly embarrassed, very embarrassed.

“Uh you’ll keep that to yourselves won’t you?” Harry asked.

“Sure as soon as you explain how your cock ended up Jo-Jo’s backside.” Jensen said grinning wickedly.

“I needed the money, they were out here in LA shooting and well I got scope out in a trial run on campus. I was barely a freshman then. Scorpion came around the campus eyeballing people and evidently I fit their criteria.” Harry said.

“So why hide it?” Jared asked.

“DUDE! Can’t you imagine for a moment the rash of shit that Chris would have given me if he knew? I think Chad knows. I know a couple of others in the house do, but they’re keeping silent because they’re afraid of Chris.” 

 

They left the apartment and walked around the block to the favoured little pizzeria. While in there Harry favoured them with the seemingly innocent story of talent scouts doing a photo shoot on campus then the cattle call. Being told to “drop your drawers” and then being asked to get hard on command. 

“Out of 200 of that went a dozen of us made the cut, then they decided they wanted a black guy so the dozen got cut to three and then that three got cut to me because I was the twinkiest looking black guy in the bunch.” Harry told them.

“And just how long did you expect to keep this quiet?” Jared asked.

“I was hoping until I graduated. As it stands the medical field may not be ready to handle a gay porn actor as part of their crew.” Harry said a little dejected.

“Well Mr. Bernard said he’d keep his yap shut about, now all you gotta do is hope that this don’t get out on campus.” Jensen noted. “Damn! I’m related to one and best friends with another, how’s that for connections.”

“Do the staff of “JUSTIFIED” know of your porn past?” Jared asked Josh.

“Yeah, told them straight up that made them want me more evidently. Anyway I have to read for them Thursday, this week.” Josh said nervously.

“You’ll get it. I’ve got faith in you.” Harry told him latching onto his arm.

“Watch the PDA bro, this town may be gay friendly but there are elements in this town that’s not.” Jensen warned.

“You and Jared get away with it.” Harry noted.

“That’s because Jared and I know where we can PDA all day long and it won’t matter.” Jensen told him.

 

They gossiped the rest of their meal about the upcoming shoot and how that was going to differ then the big question came when Josh looked to Harry.

“The filming is being done in Colorado. Do you want to come out there to be with me or stay here at the apartment?”

“How many days of the week will you be onset to shoot?” Harry asked.

“Don’t know yet, but if they’re like most TV shows they’ll shoot the season in the first month or two.” Josh told him.

“What are you going to do about school?” Jensen asked.

“I could go to online coursework next semester. Finish up here in the lecture classes for this semester and then join you in Colorado.” Harry noted.

“Good plan.” Josh said smiling.


	29. Chapter 29

Just then Jensen’s cell phone rang. “Hello?”

“Hello.” A flat female voice said.

“Hi mom. What’s up?” Jensen asked brightly.

“I could be asking you the same question, it’s like we’ve been dumped.”

“No ma, nothing like that, there’s just been a lot that’s happened in the past couple of days. I’m sorry we haven’t stayed in better touch with you.”

“Is your brother with you?” She asked.

“Yes.” Jensen answered carefully.

“Good ask him if he’d be available tomorrow evening for a family night.” Sherri said.

“Okay hold one.” He covered the phone. “It’s mom, she’s pissed, thinks we blew her and dad off. Wants a family night tomorrow night.”

“Give me the phone.” Josh said holding out his hand. Jensen did slowly. “Hi mom!”

“Hey sweetheart, we just get a chance to see you and poof! You vanished. I’m sorry I ran into one of my friends here in town and it’s been like a Chinese fire drill trying to keep up with everything. I haven’t intentionally blown y’all off. “

“Good, then tomorrow night is a go?” she asked Josh.

“Can we do tomorrow morning, maybe catch breakfast and do some things. I’ve got to film tonight and tomorrow night then we wrap.” Josh asked.

“Sure. We can do that.”

“Mom, I met someone.” Josh said flatly.

“Is this a good met or a bad met?” Sherri asked.

“Very good actually, I just feel kind of bad for him.” He said earning a glare from Harry. 

“Why’s that sweetie.” Sherri asked confused, “Someone you used to work with?” She asked.

“Actually yeah, it is.” Josh said quietly.

“Does he make your heart sing?” She asked cryptically.

“Actually yeah, he does. We worked together on a shoot a couple of years ago and well, we hooked back up.”

“He knows your positive?” Sherri asked.

“First thing we talked about.” Josh answered.

“Will we get to meet this someone tomorrow at breakfast?” Sherri asked suddenly a bit lighter.

“If you want to, yeah.” Josh told her.

“Good, as long as he makes you happy that’s all we care about.”

“He does mom, he makes me very happy.” Josh said earning an approving gaze from Harry.

“Then we’ll meet this young man tomorrow.” Sherri said brightly.

“Mom, you and dad disappointed in me? I mean you can tell me and I won’t be offended.”

“Not really, grandchildren from you we’ll miss, but we got Meghan’s kids, so that makes up for the lot.”

“We could adopt, or get a surrogate mom.” Josh teased.

“If you do I’ll love them like they were my own brood. You know that. Really Josh you think that we’re going to hit you or something?” She asked.

“The thought occurred to me.” Josh said.

“Baby we’re just glad to be back in touch with you. We’re not about to muff that up.” Sherri exclaimed.

“Me and Harry are glad to hear that.” He said.

“Harry, that sweet black kid from Jared and Jensen’s wedding?” She asked.

“Uh yeah mom, that’s him.” Josh said earning a warning shot from Harry.

“Oh wonderful, looking forward to seeing him with you in the morning.” She said brightly “Love you hon, see you what around 9:00?” She asked.

“Sure, that sounds good.” Josh answered relieved.

“Ok baby, until then.”

“Bye mom.” He disconnected the call.

 

“Are you through making excuses for me?!” Harry said hotly.

“I’m sorry Harry, I wanted her to know that I’ve met someone.” 

“But you’re ashamed of who that someone is, is that it?” Harry said.

“NO! I’m not ashamed of you, I’m just cautious around my mom. You don’t understand.” 

“Oh I think I do, how do you think my folks are gonna feel about me having a regular boyfriend now, and not only that but he’s white.” 

“Your folks are racists?” Josh asked defensively.

“No, they’d be glad to welcome you into the family but from your answers to your mom’s conversation I take it my colour came up?”

“She did say and I quote, “Harry, that sweet black kid from Jared and Jensen’s wedding.”” Josh said.

“Oh okay. Well, so you want me there to meet them tomorrow.” Harry asked.

“Please.” 

“Okay, but you owe me some serious make up sex later.” 

“Dude we’ll be spending the night at Jensen and Jared’s.” Josh argued.

“No we won’t. Sorry no offence guys, but I want my man to myself tonight when he comes in from filming. And don’t shower. I love what baby oil does to your skin.” Harry told him.

 

“Well you’ve got two hours before you have to be on set what do you want to do?” Jensen asked.

“It’s a 30 minute drive to the set, not much we can do, hang out for a while longer when I have to go grab my kit bag and go. Something we do have to do, in the very near future…” Josh started. Harry looked at him expectantly. “Car shopping. I appreciate your scooter, but dude us getting around downtown traffic on that thing’s gonna be murder.” Josh said. 

“Yeah, good point. Okay, tonight serious make up sex, tomorrow breakfast with the family and then we go car shopping. What do you want?” Harry asked.

“I kind of like the new Mustangs that are coming off the lot. Would love to have one of those in Cherry red.” Josh said dreamingly.

“Then we stop at the Ford dealership first thing.” Jensen said. “Dad will love that, and mom will probably get a kick out of it too.”

 

“Look, Jen and I are going to walk back to the apartment and give you two some quality time together.” Jared said rising and pulled Jensen up with him.

“If we must.” Jensen said.

“We must, besides I’ve been thinking about something I wanted to talk over with you.” Jared told him.

“Oh, sounds serious, you better not muff this one up Jenny!” 

“Same goes for you two.” Jensen said as they hurried out the door. They started walking around the block and when they were far enough away, and close enough to their apartment Jensen looked up at Jared. “What’s the big secret, hunk of my heart?” Jensen said giddily.

“Upstairs.” Jared said suggestively.

“I’m liking this better and better.” 

“I hope so, I’ve been giving this some thought for a while.” Jared said as they entered their ground floor door and walked up the stairs. Then Jensen became confused. Was he reading too much into it or was Jared sad? 

In the apartment Jared turned to Jensen. “I want you to record with me.” He said suddenly the retracted.

“Huh? Record with you?” Jensen asked.

“Yeah, you on guitar and me on cello.” Jared said pensively.

“Why so sad, of course I’d love to record with you.” Jensen told him.

“I uh, I remember something Chris said and it was stupid but I got to thinking about it and it won’t let go. You know how I love making music with you, almost as much as I like making love to you?” 

“Yeah, Jared, you’re scaring me now.” Jensen said unsure.

“It’s just what Chris said after seeing us perform on the video that Misha shot. He said it looked like musical porn.” Jared said.

“Okay so, he made a joke.” Jensen said.

“No, in one way he’s right, when I do sit down with you to play it makes me so unbelievably horny. I end up taking it out on my cello.”

“Jared Ackles-Padalecki, I think that’s the most beautiful thing anyone has said to me in a long time.” Jensen said smiling his eyes fully on Jared’s.

“You don’t think I’m being a sap?” Jared asked.

“What makes you think that. Of course I don’t, I love you, I love everything about you.” Jensen said stepping up and reached around Jared neck pulling him into a long kiss. “I take some of my feelings out in my music as well, but when I’m hot and bothered for you like when we played that duet for the benefit, I can’t help but use my guitar to hide a hard on that I’ve got for you.”

“Why Mr. Jensen Ackles-Padalecki, that is a remarkably lovely insight for you to make.” Jared said.

“Now you gonna tell me why you were so sad earlier?” Jensen asked.

“I just feel so bad for Josh. Here we are two perfectly healthy gay men, and then there’s Josh who is a walking time bomb. And only because of his medications that he takes is he keeping the fuse unlit.” Jared told him.

“I guess when you look at it like that it is pretty sad.” Jensen commented. 

“That’s what I want to do, I want us to record, do a few singles then release them to the radio stations. I mean we got enough original material between us to cut an album.”

“I knew getting you that Symphonic software for Christmas would be something you’d flip over.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot we’d have to do, but we can do it and I think we could score with it.” Jared told him.

“You want to become a musician?” Jensen asked him carefully.

“Would it make you angry?” Jared said pensively.

“No love, I’d love nothing better than to be able to do something like that.” Jensen told him. 

“Let get dig up the video if us playing together at that benefit, stick it on YouTube and see what happens. The views we get will give us an indicator.” Jared said.

“Oh I love how your mind works.” Jensen said teasingly. 

 

Later than evening after three hours of lingering, sweet, soft, sexual energy was burned off, they lay together with Jensen kind of laying halfway on Jared. They kissed, the energy not flagging and the ardor not decreasing.

They just lay there staring at nothing for the longest time, happy with the moment. They made love again, taking their time and relishing the banquet they could lay before each other. They kissed slowly afterwards hungrily devouring each other in their desire.

 

“You scare me some times.” Jensen said.

“Huh? How’s that?” Jared asked.

“You seem almost ravenous.”

“Because I am.” Jared said with a grin. “I can never get enough of you. There’s always a little something more that makes me want to stay with you and love you some more.”

“Umm, I like the way you say that.” Jensen said lovingly.

“It’s because I do.” Jared replied.

 

They fell asleep that way, wrapped in the afterglow of many rounds of sexual play so that when the alarm went off at 6:30 it was a surprise to them both. The rose from their tangle, dressed in their jogging attire and went out on their morning run. They were shortly joined by Harry and Josh who jogged the block with them then returned they parted to go to their separate apartments to shower and change.

 

9:00 found both couples in Jared and Jensen’s apartment when the buzzer rang. Jared let his in-laws in and made sure there was fresh coffee brewed. Alan and Sherri were let in and they immediately fell on Josh and Harry. Jared and Jensen sat back and let them at them with pleasure having been the subject of one of their attacks of parentage.

 

“Harry, so good to see you again, and you’re friendly with Josh, now that’s sweet.” Sherri said grinning.

“So Harry what are your plans now?” Alan asked curiously. 

“I’m going to finish my pre-med, we’ve got an apartment together in the next block and while Josh is in Colorado filming “JUSTIFIED”, yes Josh I know you haven’t even read for the part yet but I have faith in you. Anyway, while Josh is filming, I’ll finish up my lecture courses, then take the next semester online, then complete the last semester here.” Harry said firmly.

“Sounds like you’ve given this some serious thought.” Sherri said.

“We’ve had a few conversations about this and I must admit to being part of the reason that Josh has been in absentia.” Harry admitted. “We’d just got back together after two years and it was a welcome reunion.”

“We completely understand, just let us have some time with both of you now.” Alan said decisively.

“We’ve got fresh coffee on, unless you want to go on out for breakfast.” Jared announced.

“Let’s do breakfast if you don’t mind, I’m starved.” Jensen said plaintively.

“You’re always starved.” Jared kidded. “Okay, does anyone have a preference as to where we get breakfast?” He paused a moment and when no one offered suggestions Jared spoke.

“I think we ought to treat them to Danny’s.” 

“Good food?” Josh asked.

“And plenty of it. Depending on what you want. They’re run by British Immigrants and they serve everything from small and simple to farmer’s breakfasts.”

“Mom, why don’t you and dad take Josh and Harry and follow us. It’s not far but it can be kind of confusing to get to.”

 

Over breakfast of which the table was practically groaning with, they laid plans for the day.

 

“Mom, Dad, since I’m going to be here most of the time, it only makes sense for me to have a car instead of having to rent. So I thought, if you don’t mind the diversion, we’d go over to Freeman’s Ford and Imports. I saw them listed in the newspaper as having some really good pricing of some cars that interest me.” Josh said.

“What do you have in mind?” Alan said starting that ball rolling, and it rolled for a good long pace until at last it came to a semi-screeching halt as they’d finished their second cups of coffee. Jensen picked up the tab while Josh left the tip. Then as a family outing they went over to the dealership. Jared, Jensen and Sherri stayed close to the offices while Josh, Harry and Alan surveyed the lot.

 

“You have just made your father’s day.” Sherri said to Jensen.

“Um, how so?” Jensen asked while Jared looked on curiously.

“You’ve given him a chance to bond with Josh again. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not leaving Harry out of this, but Josh and your dad have been at odds for years, it’s time there was a meeting of the minds.” Sherri said sidling up to them. “So tell me, what are your big plans for the future?”

“We’ve made some plans, but they’re real tentative right now.” Jensen said. 

“Such as, come on, tell me, I promise not to laugh or make light.” Sherri said.

“We’re thinking about recording some of our music.” Jensen said. Sherri looked at him a moment before responding.

Sherri smiled warmly. “I think that is a most excellent idea. You two play beautifully together.”

Jensen blushed warmly as well and smiled. “It’s because I care.” 

Sherri brushed his cheek with her fingers. “I know you do, I just hope they get it as well.”

Jared looked away from the lot a moment and stared at Sherri. ”You’re not going to tell us that this music is a passing fad?” He asked with a small smile.

“No darling, because if it were you two wouldn’t be married.” She said confidently. “Do you think your parents are going to react that way?”

Jared shrugged slightly. “Dad’s always thought of my music as a hobby, nothing I could really excel in.” 

Sherri hugged him, “That’s only because, maybe Jerry doesn’t see you like we do.”

“Thanks Sherri.” Jared said shifting a bit. “Dad’s always looked at Meagan to be the one to carry on the line and be the successful one. He wants me to complete my four do my internship with another four and become a doctor.” Now Jared’s voice took on a desperate tone. “I just don’t know if I can do that.”

Sherri looked at him and strung her arm around him pulling him close in a hug. “Some parents see their kids as extensions of what they wanted to be. Some, most want their children to do better than them. Give your dad a chance, he might just surprise you.”

 

Out on the lot a salesman was showing off the new line of Mustangs and there was one there in a red, just not exactly the shade of red that Josh was hoping for. He looked at the others and kept coming back to that one. 

“Let me get the key and you can test drive her.” The salesman offered. Josh nodded his assent and the salesman hurried off at a trot.

“What do you think?” He asked Harry.

“Well it’s not a cherry red, but maybe that’s a special order. This may be the only red they make stock. It’s roomier inside that I would’ve thought.” Harry mentioned. “The price is good, I mean $21,000 for this model with all it’s loaded with isn’t shabby.”

“What do you think, dad?” Josh asked Alan. The older man looked at him.

“Test drive it, see what you think of it, at least give it a chance.” Alan said.

“Okay.” 

The salesman came trotting back up with the keys and passed them to Josh, he clicked the lock button to open the car. The settled into the driver’s seat. Harry walked around and settled in the passenger seat. “Go ahead take her for a spin.” The salesman urged. 

Ten minutes later Josh was back on the lot with the car. He got out as the salesman walked over. “Let’s write some paper on her.” Josh told him. “You’re asking $21, will you go $18,500?” Josh asked.

“Let me ask my boss about that, come on in and have a seat.” The salesman took Josh and Harry into the dealership while Alan rejoined Sherri, Jared and Jensen.

“Looks like he’s bought a car.” He said. 

Jared laughed. “You doubted?” 

“Never can tell with that boy, one minute his mind is made up to do one thing and the next he’s totally changed his mind.” Alan said.

“That’s Josh, dad, probably why he never could hack college. But it seems he’s done well filming.” Jensen said.

“I know son, I just wish he could have the chance to go back for a do-over. Maybe he would totally dodge the bullet that nailed him.” Alan said wistfully.

“Josh is gonna do what he wants to do, there’s nothing that we can say to change his mind.” Sherri said with a smile. “You know what these two are going to do?” She said ignoring Jensen’s look.

“Um, what’s that hon.” Alan asked looking over the lot.

“They’re going to record their music!” She gushed.

Alan paused and then turned slowly eyeing them differently now. “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?”

“Yes dad.” Jensen said quietly. “We can do that and go to school.” 

“Yeah and knowing your luck, your recording will be a smash and you’ll become regular artists.” Alan said with a smile.

“Would that be so bad?” Jared asked.

“No, it’s what I wanted to do when I was his age, hell back in the 70’s I was wanting to go to Woodstock and play.” Alan said with a smile.

“You play?” Jensen asked marveling.

“Haven’t touched a guitar in years, but yeah I used to play some serious rhythm and blues in the day.” Alan said smiling still. 

Sherri reached out and touched his arm. “That’s where we met , it was a campus bonfire, he was playing and oh how I loved to hear that music. I wish you’d take it back up.” She said with a fond smile. 

“Hell, that was 30 years ago, I probably don’t even remember my chords, much less remember how to tune.” He said.

“Take lessons.” Jensen urged. “Look dad, I come in from a hard day at school, I can play for an hour or so and it’s like I had a eight hour nap. At least think about it.” He said.

“God, you’re as bad as your mom. Come on, let’s go inside where there’s air conditioning and maybe a coke machine.” He said waving them towards the door.

 

Inside another salesman escorted them to a lounge area with drink and snack machines. They all got something to drink and then took some seats in the lounge. It took just under an hour for the paperwork to be completed the check written and passed and the Two keys passed back. He took one and gave to Harry.

 

“You may as well be passing me a wedding ring.” Harry joked.

“We’ll see.” Josh said with a secretive smile as they left the office. They were escorted to the lounge area where getting something to drink as well they made plans for the rest of the day. Jensen spilled the beans on their daddy being a guitar man and so they headed to a music store next. Just for the hell of it.

 

Inside Jensen and Josh watched their father’s face take on the look of a kid in a candy store. Jared commented in an aside to Sherri. “What do wanna bet he strokes one?” 

“Oh he will.” She said confidently. He walked back to the electric guitars and found a Stratocaster. He touched it lovingly as a saleslady name Kim walked up to him.

“Would you like me to hook it up for you?” She asked.

“It’s been too long for me, I’d have to learn all over again.” He insisted. 

She reached up and handed the guitar to him, walked with over to an amp and set him up. Handing him a pick she stepped back.

Alan carefully rubbed the finish on the neck and body. Sherri sighed. “Touches that damn thing like he does me.” 

“Ma!” Jensen said, “TMI!”

Sherri laughed at him.

Then Alan formed a rough “C” chord and stroked the strings, then with exceeding care pulled an old Steppenwolf song out of memory and tried to play some of it. Yeah it was rough, there were a few discords, but overall not bad. Sherri looked at him and smiled.

“Go on hon, you know you want it.” She urged and 30 minutes later they were loading a Fender Stratocaster and amp into the back of the Honda. “You know love it’d be cheaper for us to rent a car and drive back to Austin as to fly.” She said smiling.

“Well I don’t have to be in the office for a week and a half, what say we take some of Route 66 and see where that takes us?” He asked.

Sherri reached over and squeezed his hand. “You read my mind again. Let’s, sorry boys if we seem selfish but we want some us time.” She said smiling.

“Go on, we’ll go back to the apartment, just call and extend the contract you got on that rental you’re driving now.” Josh suggested.

“Good idea.” Alan said.

 

It didn’t take long to drive back over to the apartment, goodbyes were made and the guitar was loaded into their rental, then with hugs and more goodbyes, they were gone. The four of them stood for a moment outside on the sidewalk watching the car pull away into traffic.

“Our dad, a hippy!” Jensen said.

“I know, I’m still finding that one hard to fathom.” Josh said.

“Hey give your dad credit he can still play, roughly but he can still play.” Jared told them. Then he looked around, took out his cell phone and checked the time. Then pointed towards their door. “Wanna come up for a cold one?”

“Nah, I think we’re going to go back to our place for some quality time before classes start back up and Josh has to go off and film.” Harry said taking Josh’s hand. Josh bent down and they kissed. 

“I think I’ll keep him.” Josh said with a predatory smile and kissed Harry again. 

“You better get me back to the apartment or this street’s gonna see a sight I don’t think it’s ready for.” Harry teased.

“Go on you two.” Jared said laughing. 

They went upstairs and entering their apartment, silence for the first time in days they embraced warmly and started to kiss when the buzzer started sounding.

“This better be good.” Jared growled.

“Jay, let me up man, this is like serious shit.” Christian said from below.


	30. Chapter 30

Jared kissed Jensen longingly. “Soon as we’re alone there is more of that coming.”

“I hope that won’t be the only thing coming.” Jensen said with a smile.

Jared opened the door as they heard Christian starting to pound.

 

“Will you keep your britches hitched Kane!?” Jared said opening the door to admit a flustered and red faced Christian Kane to their apartment. “Ok Chris, what gives?” 

“This….” Christian said thrusting out a DVD holder. Jensen took a look at the title and grimaced. 

“We just found out ourselves.” Jensen said looking at the lurid cover of “Twinkie Trash”. 

“My assistant was a porn star?” Chris said gasping from his slight run.

“Yes, Chris, your assistant was a porn star, and having seen part of it, not that bad looking of one.” Jared told him. Christian shot him a glare. “Look we all got our skeletons in the closet, I’m sure you have a few locked in yours.”

“Yeah and that’s where they’ll stay.” Christian blurted.

 

They walked through to the living room after getting a beer each from the kitchen. Sitting around, Jared looked at Jensen and winked slyly, Christian not catching it. 

“So have you watched any of it?” Jensen asked.

“NO!” Christian said quickly. “Bad enough seeing his name listed in the credits on the front!” 

“So where did you come across a copy?” Jared asked.

“Bryan, sophomore, second floor was moving out, his scholarship ran out and he’s going home, we’ll there was some stuff he left behind and I guess he forgot this. I found it when me and Chad were cleaning out the room. Yeah Chad’s my new head boy.” Christian explained. 

“Why didn’t you just confront Harry about this instead of getting in a fit about it?” Jensen asked.

“Man, I just can’t walk up to a best friend and say “hey found a fuck flick and you’re starring and oh by the way, it’s a gay fuck flick.””

Jared opened the case and took the DVD out Christian made ready to bolt. “Sit down, at least let’s take a look at what he did do, that way when you confront him you won’t catch him with his pants down.”

“Dude, you are wrong for that remark!” Christian said as the film started. Jared fast forwarded all of them laughing. “Nothing, I mean nothing is funnier than porn in fast forward even queer porn.” He said laughing.

Finally there was a frame where Harry was coming into the scene. Jared stopped it and they sat watching for a few minutes. 

“He’s not that bad and he’s good looking to boot, so what’s the gripe, okay he did some gay porn, does that also mean he was a child molester?” Jared asked.

Christian looked disgusted for a moment and shook his head, “Of course not…but…man can you go ahead and turn that off now?” He asked.

“Why, you’re pitching wood over it.” Jensen said noting that the front of Christian’s trousers were tenting.

“You ever tell.” Christian said miserably.

“Oh man, get real, queers do not out even a closet case without their expressed permission, it’s like an unwritten law. We know how it is. Been there done that. You can keep this secret and it’ll never get out or we can have a coming out party for you. Whichever, we won’t think bad of you. You’re still our Christian Kane, regardless of whether your straighter than an arrow or slightly bent off plumb.” Jensen told him.

“Oh God!” Christian exclaimed as he killed what was left in the beer bottle.

“You know where the fridge is.” Jared said. Christian nodded and got up miserably and walked into the kitchen and got another bottle and came back in. 

“I’m not queer.” He stated emphatically.

“But you’ve fantasized, maybe even played around a little bit?” Jared asked.

“When I was a senior in high school I…oh shit I can’t believe I’m telling anyone this…me and the halfback for the school team would trade hand jobs, even a blow job or two behind the field house.” He said his face pale as new milk.

“Hand and blow jobs as far as it went?” Jensen asked. “I mean you never…” He started Christian took a long hard pull on the bottle. Christian’s face scrunching miserably at the memory, “yeah we did, a few times. Then he left for college and I was stuck in my dad’s plumbing business until I got this free ride through UCLA.” 

“Just because you had a teenage fling doesn’t mean you’re queer, maybe bi-sexual but not queer.” Jensen offered.

“ Goddamn! Just Goddamnit all!” Christian said harshly as he looked away for a moment his face crumbling as tears were torn from him. Jared slipped off the sofa onto the love seat with him and rubbed his shoulders as he cried.

“It’s okay Christian, I promise you we’ll never tell a soul unless you want us to. Never.to.another.living.soul.” Jared said emphatically. This only made Christian cry harder. Jensen disappeared a moment then came back with a box of tissues which he sat on the coffee table in easy reach. 

 

After about ten minutes Christian finally starting getting his collective shit back together. His crying tapered off and as he reached and took some tissues he looked at Jared with appreciation.

 

“Not another living soul.” Jared repeated the admonition. 

“Thanks dude.” Christian said wiping his eyes then blowing his nose. He finally cleaned up and then threw his tissues away. He came back in from the kitchen sitting down with his third beer at the ready as he drained his second. Jared walked into the kitchen and came back with a second for he and Jensen. “I’ve got, like, my share of girlfriends.” He admitted.

“Oh hell yeah, no one can deny the virility of the Kane stables.” Jensen said trying to lighten the moment, “But still occasionally you’d like some boy sex?” Jensen said quietly. Christian didn’t say a word in reply his look told all. He was mainly disgusted in himself for being so weak to let his walls down like that. “Chris, it’s not like it’s the end of the world, here you need something stronger.” Jensen got up and walked into the kitchen and came back with a bottle of Wild Turkey and a shot glass. He poured a shot and handed it to Christian who looked at it a moment and then knocked it back. 

Somehow Jensen didn’t think that Christian knew what to say so he started. “Chris, this doesn’t mean you’re queer, it just means you are open to other forms of sexuality. 

“Thanks, I hadn’t planned on this to happen.” He started.

“Christian, you needed it to happen otherwise it wouldn’t have. We’re all consenting adults, no harm, no foul. And no talking about this outside this apartment unless you start the conversation and want to talk about it. You’ve gotta make up your own mind how you feel about this.” Jared told him.

“How I feel?” Christian started, “I feel like I’ve just been pulled apart and reassembled.”

 

“The main thing is that you can’t suddenly come out in full support of gay sex unless you want to be questioned about your own sexuality. Chris, what’s said here, stays here.” Jensen told him.

“And if you do come out, we got your back.” Jared said firmly.

“Abso-fucking-lutely!” Jensen said equally firm.

“Thanks guys. I just don’t know if I got the guts for that.” He admitted sourly.

“Chris, you got a ton of guts, you also have an attitude to maintain as head of the house. It’s cool. Just don’t condone those who would support bashing or crashing us.” Jared said.

“Oh hell no! I’ve already kicked one pledges ass for absently saying when he was drunk that fags should die.” Christian told them.

“Hey, I’m starved let’s go down to the deli to grab a snack.” Jared said.

“You’re always starved.” Christian mutters. 

“Well that protein shake I had earlier helped, but I could really go for a Reuben.” Jared told him.

Christian blushed at the first bit and licked his lips at the second. “You and Jenny are hornier that a three balled tom-cat.”

As a small group they descended on the deli and had Rufus’ special Rueben’s with beer. Mildred came around at one point and looked over the small group.

“Okay so what’s this I heard about your brother moving onto the block?” She asked.

“It’s true, he’s going to be going to Colorado to read for a part in a TV show and he and his boyfriend are staying here.”

“Is the whole world fey.” She said with most sorrow.

“No ma’am, I’m straight as they come.” Christian lied.

“For you an extra pickle.” She said with a grin as she hurried away.

“I had my fingers crossed under the table.” Christian admitted.

“You’re a natural, you got all the bravado I wish I had.” Jensen admitted.

“Bravado don’t mean dick.” Christian said. 

“It gets you respect.” Jared pointed out.

“So does your height, your point?” Christian said grinning. 

“So how’s the band doing?” Jensen asked.

“It’s doing. We’re looking for a gig this weekend.” He said.

“You really should try to break out with that group, you could do worse than making KANE a visible name on the charts.” Jensen told him.

“Degree first, play later.” Christian told him seriously. “I’m doing great in Microbiology, I just have some work in Genetics Coding to study up on and we got a test in Physics coming up the end of this week.”

“They always slam a test on us just before a weekend. Pricks.” Jared said.

 

Rufus came around at one point taking a break from the grill, “So you boys doing all right?” He asked.

“Better than we deserve. Just dreading classes this week.” Jensen said.

“Yep, breaks over it time to buckle back down. By the way, I got something I want for you to try when you finish the sandwiches. A specialty from Germany.” He said with a grin as he wandered away.

“Good God, what has he gone and done now?” Jared said. He looked over at Christian.

“You don’t live out here so you don’t know but Rufus is a master chef and sometimes he’ll make up specialties and serve as surprises to his regulars trying to find a gimmick that will sell.”

 

They sat talking and eating for forty-five minutes and when they finished Rufus came around with dessert cups with what looked like a banana pudding in it. But it was lighter in colour.

“Eggnog Custard. Careful boys it’s got a bite to it.” He smile as they dug into it. The Eggnog liqueur was the first thing that jumped out at them, then flavours of vanilla and bits of cake crumbled into the custard. “Well?” He asked experimentally.

“Keep this one Rufus!” Jared notioned. “Definitely keep this one. This is fantastic!” He said enthusiastically going for another spoonful. The old man beamed his approval as they ate. He looked at Christian.

“What about you young man, you’re not normally this quiet.” He said with a grin.

“I’m dining on a bit of heaven; I don’t talk while I’m eating.” Christian told him grinning.

“If you ever decide to quit making this I want the recipe.” Jensen said glowing. “This is wonderful.”

“Now you’re just being polite.” He demurred satisfied.

“Like hell, I don’t normally brag on cooking, but this is damn good.” Christian said.

 

Afterwards they were sitting up in the apartment, with Christian more than a little toasted from the shots he had earlier, then the custard, and the beers. He got up and ambled towards the door.

“Gotta get back to the house.” He muttered.

“What you gotta do is go into the guest room and lay down for a while. You’re not driving anyplace.” Jensen said snatching his keys out of his hand.

“HEY!” He blared then spun to get them from Jensen. That was his first mistake the spinning sent the whole room into orbit and his eyes rolled back as he passed out. Jensen caught him and with some help from Jared got him laid out on the couch.

Jared checked his cell phone for the time. “My God, he’s smashed and it’s only 8:00!”

Jensen was about to speak when the buzzer rang again.

“Good grief, who can that be?” Jensen muttered and pressed the button.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah nothing it’s Sandy”

“Oh hey, come on up!” He said pressing the lock button to open the door. Jensen opened the door and admitted Sandy and Soph. “Beer for you ladies?” He offered.

“Sure.” They answered in unison and laughed. 

“This is unique, aside from my mom, you’ve been the only ladies up today, we’re going to have to cultivate a larger following.” Jared said with a grin.

“Come on in the dining room, the couch is occupied.” Jensen told them. Sophia looked around the corner and barked laughter. “Keep it down please. Let’s not wake the ravaging beast yet.” 

Sophia giggled as did Sandy when she saw Christian laid out.

“He looks so sweet.” Sandy said sappily, “Like a whiskey sour.” She quipped. “Let’s go into the dining room, this is news that can’t keep.”

“Why what’s up?” Jared said.

“I can’t believe you haven’t heard from Misha yet but then he’s probably been too busy distributing DVD’s. Your performance at the benefit? It’s gone viral!!” Sandy squealed delightedly. To quote Misha he’s approached 250 copies and it’s still selling.” Jared and Jensen traded a look.

“You so didn’t know!!” Sophia said surprised. “Oh my God! You’re a hit with the young group like us and the oldsters like Professor Baker and his crew. You have so got to do a recital. It would sell out.”

 

“First things first.” Jared said and took his cell phone out and dialed Misha’s number. It rang twice before a pickup. 

“Jay, Hi dude what’s up?” He asked guardedly.

“Why haven’t you told me about the video going viral?” Jared asked evenly.

“Dude I’m so sorry, I’ve been meaning to but every time I get ready to something or someone happens. As it was I was going to come over this past week then I heard your brother was in town so I shelved that for a while.” Misha explained.

“So what’s our cut of the profits?” Jared asked.

“60%?” Misha asked. “Please dude allow me something for marketing this things.”

“60% provided you get your skinny ass over here with your laptop and info and we coordinate some things pronto.” Jared told him.

“Thanks man. I’ll be over tomorrow after classes to drop off your cut and give you an inside track. Maybe you can help take some of the load off me?” He asked politely.

“I think that can be arranged. Tomorrow then okay.”

“Yeah, and dude I’m sorry for you know, not telling you earlier.”

“Okay just talk to us next time okay?” 

“Yeah man! Later?” Misha asked.

“Yeah, later dude.” And they disconnected that call which caused him to look up at Danneel. But it was Jensen who spoke.

“It’s been over two months, why haven’t you two told us, it’s not like we’ve become strangers?” 

“Sorry Jen, things been kinda crazy for us. What with a wedding to plan and all.”

“You finally making her a legal woman, Soph?” Jared asked.

They flashed engagement rings. “We’re six months out from the date but it’s crazy trying to get things organized early.”

“Do make yourself crazy now, enjoy each other’s company for a while then go nutzo, that’s what Jensen and I did.” Jared admitted.

“Yeah and you two have been an item for like two years, me and Soph are only a year together. And trust some dykes can be downright vicious in their commentary about something like this.” Sandy said.

 

So they spent the next hour lining up what they need to do in what order. In the end Sophia looked up and smiled. “We should really become wedding planners.” 

“I only do this for my friends.” Jensen admitted with a grin. Then they heard a groan from in the living room. Danneel cleared her seat first and ran in.

“Oh shit.” Was all Jared could say before he heard a jungle cry erupt then Christian coming up groaning.

He looked around a moment and saw a shot glass and the bottle of whiskey. 

“Out of my way Sandy.” He said drunkenly as he went over to pour himself another shot.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” She said grabbing at the bottle that he snatched away.

“I’m not near as think you drunk I am.” He quipped.

“Oh man, what’s got you so shitfaced.” She groaned as Sophia, Jared, and Jensen came into the room.

“I’m a liberated man.” He said drunkenly ignoring the warning looks from Jensen and Jared.

“Uh man, that’s the alcohol talking, let it go for now dude.” Jensen said trying to intervene.

“Absolutely I will fucking let it go, I repeat, I AM A LIBERATED MAN!” He yelled and then crashed against the back of the soft as he took a pull of whiskey straight from the bottle. It took a bit but Jared wrestled it away from him and hid it very quickly. “You shit.” He mumbled.

“How are you a liberated man?” Soph answered. 

“I just am. I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel and it wasn’t an oncoming train.” He slurred out. Then he passed out again. 

“He is making no sense at all.” Sandy said. “Liberated from what? He’s always been pretty liberated to me, well with the excuse of how he avoids the subject of gay like it was a rattlesnake. Makes me wonder if he’s a closet case.” 

“Kane, who are you kidding?” Sophia said. “He’s so straight Lowes uses him to check their lumber for bends.” 

Jensen and Jared traded a relieved sigh.

“He just being his usual crazy self.” 

“You’re not about to let him drive are you?” Sandy asked.

“Are you kidding his car keys were the first thing we grabbed from him.” Jared told them.

“Good, okay, we’ll split for now let us know if you find anything out about this liberated business?” Sandy asked.

“You’ll be the first we tell.” Jensen promised her.

“Cool. Let us know too how this works out with Misha. The shit.” Sophia said caustically.

“Aw give him a break, I’m willing to look the other way if he supplies good rationale.” Jared said. “Otherwise I’m gonna pound the little shit into a greasy spot.”

“Let us know. I’ll sell the popcorn!” Sandy said.

 

After they left the heard Christian again. Going in they found him sitting up drunk but not near as plastered as he first appeared.

 

“Christian?!” Jensen said.

“I can play plastered when I wanna.” He said with a secretive grin.

“Yeah and you almost let the girls in on your little secret.”

“Huh?” He looked at them owlishly. 

“Come on you can bed down in the guest room.” Jensen said

 

When 6:30 came the next morning it was to Jared and Jensen stretching and for Christian to make a quick run to the bathroom. In there they didn’t hear the sound of vomiting as they did peeing. And the sound went on for quite some time until at last it was over. He came out looking infinitely relieved and somewhat more sober. 

“You guys mind if I fix a pot of coffee?” He asked.

“Go ahead, we’re going out for our run, be here when we get back.” Jared said ominously.

“Huh what?” Christian said.

“We covered for you last night. We’ve got some talking to do.” Jensen said as they went out on their run. And they did come back shortly and were winded sweaty and looking around spying Christian in the living room.

“Shower then talk.” Jared said.

“You’re not even gonna give me a hint?” Christian asked.

“You shouted I’m a liberated man.” Jensen said marching into the living room. 

Suddenly it all came tumbling back to Christian. “Right shower first.” He remarked to Jensen. They did and returned dressed in some comfortable attire for the day.

“I nearly spilled the beans.” He said solemnly.

“And you’re going to the next time you get shitfaced and someone goes off on a fag tangent of any kind.” Jared said. “I’m sorry dude but to some you’re going to have to come out of the closet to, mainly for your protection.”

“You’re right. God, what was I thinking?” Christian muttered.

“About what you said or what you did?” Jensen asked cryptically.

“What I said of course.” He blared. “Oh shit, oh shit!” He whipped out his cell phone and started dialing numbers inside of an hour the apartment was slight bulging again with people. Harry and Chad leading the pack with Mike and Jeff, Dani and Gen, Sandy and Soph.

 

“Seems like I fucked up last night running my mouth and I wanted to clarify some to you all and get it out of the fucking way.” He said his usual bulldog self. “I like man-sex alright, I’m bisexual.” He said painfully. Then braced himself for the insults and pain that was coming instead there was a collective sigh. 

It was Dani that said out rather loudly. “Good, that’s one major thing out of the way. We thought you were going to admit to killing puppies.” She said laughing.

“What do you mean one major thing out of the way.” Christian said caustically.

“Still doesn’t change who you are, oh you can blather and make jokes about queers now and get away with it mostly. But deep down, you’re still Chris.” Harry said to the rests agreement.

Christian sat down in the armchair flummoxed. “And here I was thinking that I’d be stapled to a pink cross and set on fire.” He said sarcastically.

“Chris, it doesn’t matter to me if your gay, bi, or trans, I don’t care, you’re still my friend.” Chad said firmly which the others agreed with as well. It took a minute for Christian to process the information and for the second time in as many days he embarrassed himself, at least to his way of thought, as tears streamed down his face. 

They came around him hugging and patting him on the back until Dani finally said “The mighty Christian Kane had feelings!! Who’d a thunk it.” She said appraisingly, this brought the entire gathering up short the most realized it for what it was. Christian growled at them.

Dani ran up and kissed him on the cheek. “There we go, that’s my Chris.” She said smiling. “Let’s get the fuck out of here and get to classes, those who have classes this early.”

“Got coffee on for them that wants a cup.” Jensen said. “He had a few takers but most had to get back to school including Christian he was the last out. He looked at both of them and dropped his bulldog façade for a moment. 

“Thanks guys, for everything.” He said with a slight blush.

“It was our pleasure.” Jensen said forcing even a deeper blush on him. 

“and mine.” He answered as he turned and left his tough guy mask falling back into place.

Jensen closed the door and turned back to the room. Dani and Gen, Sandy and Sophia were still with them.


	31. Chapter 31

  
Author's notes: This is it folks, the end of the road for this tale. Who knows though, I may timestamp it later. ;^)  
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“I don’t know why he was spazing out over something like that so bad.” Gen said.

“Look if you were as straight acting as Chris you’d spaz out as well over an issue like that. Which begs the question guys, just how did you find out?” Danneel asked.

Jared flashed the DVD case. “He brought this over because it stars one of our nearest and dearest. He freaked over one of the co-stars.”

“What was he extra hung, well built, I mean you name it.” Gen asked.

“Harry’s in it.” Jensen said.

“Oh he is not!” Sandy said stupefied for a moment. So Jensen turned on the set and then started the DVD up again to show Harry putting it to another guy.

“He told us he did it in his freshman year, he needed the money. But try to keep it hushed up a bit, I mean yeah the campus knows that Harry’s queer, but they don’t need to know he’s a porn star.” Jared said warningly.

“You know there’s something sexy about watching two guys doing it.” Sophia said with a grin.

“We happen to think so too.” Jared leered. 

“Oh shut up, don’t spoil the dykes fun.” Danneel said turning her attention back to the screen. “Hey, you guys care if I borrow this?” Danneel asked.

“I would but it’s not mine to loan out.” Jensen said, “However, I’ll be glad to burn you a copy.” He said with a grin. 

“Make that two copies.” Sandy said grinning as well. 

Jensen cranked up his laptop and got out some blank DVD’s. It didn’t take long to rip a couple of copies making two couples very happy. Jensen popped the DVD back into its case and then smiling set it on their stack of DVD’s.

“I would take it down and get Josh and Harry to autograph that copy for Christian but we’d likely catch them in the middle of sex.” Jensen said with a grin.

“You’re probably right about that. Speaking of which that video is kind of a turn on.” Jared said.

“You can watch my brother do it all day long as long as I don’t have to see it.” Jensen said grimacing.

“God, to hear you talk you’d think you two grew up as puritans.” Jared said.

“We didn’t , it’s just…” Jensen started.

“I’m waiting.” Jared told him.

“Me and Josh experimented some when I was 14, he was 17 and well…this video brought it back sharply.” Jensen said.

“Did you like the experiments?” Jared asked.

Jensen blushed scarlet, “Fifth Amendment.”

“Oh you did!!! You kinky little bastard you. Was he your first?” Jared asked.

Jensen nodded dumbly. 

“Oh come to the bedroom and tell me more.” Jared said pulling Jensen along.

 

Ten days later they had to put up with an exuberant and hyperactive Josh running up the stairs and pounding on their door. 

“It must really have been some good sex.” Jensen said wryly letting him and Harry in. Both looked like they were about to jump out of their skin.

“Larry, my agent called, I got the part!!!” He practically shouted.

“YOU WHAT!?” Jensen said surprised.

“I got the part, I’m going to be filming regular television!! And it’s a credited role, and oh my God I’m going to be bumping shoulders with the great and near great!!” Josh said excitedly.

“This means no more dick flicks?” Jared asked.

“Hell no! I got the real thing baby. Oh and I got with a doc here in town he’s seeing me for my HIV, did a blood test and my T-Cell count still is in the Excellent zone!!” Josh grabbed Jensen and kissed him right on the mouth as he did Jared. 

“Hey spread some of that around.” Harry said happily. Josh spun and grabbed Harry up in a hug and kiss. 

“God, I’m so glad I got you to share this with.” He told Harry fondly.

“We gotta go out and celebrate this.” Jared said happily.

“Let’s do Danny’s!!” Josh said mentioning a steak house downtown.

“Sounds good to me.” Harry said, Jensen nodded his approval.

“Going from my bro the porn star to my bro the TV star!! Whoa!” Jensen said happily.

“Easy Jenny, you’ll throw a rod if you’re not careful.” Josh said grinning.

“Throw your rod.” Harry said smirking to Josh.

“Promise?” Josh returned.

“You two need to go ahead and get married.” Jared said grinning.

“Nope, we agreed to living together for a year and see how we worked out.” Josh replied.

“How’re you liking it so far?” Jensen said grinning.

Josh bent down and whispered in his ear. “You’ve seen Twinkie Trash. It’s better than that.” 

Jensen’s eyebrows climbed. Harry poked Josh in the ribs. 

“What you talking about whitebread?” 

Josh turned to him and smiled “trading secrets.” 

“You two play nice.” Jensen said smiling.

 

Afterwards they were sitting in Jared and Jensen’s place enjoying the evening before preparing for the next day and classes which had inevitably started back. Harry looked at Josh for a moment.

“I get the feeling of impending doom.” Josh kidded.

“I hope not.” Harry responded.

“What have you gone and done now?” Jensen asked.

“Remember what I said about school, what we talked about the other night.” Harry started.

“About you staying in for the full medical ride, yeah.”Josh said nervously.

“If I change my major I can graduate the year after next with a pharmacology degree.” Harry said slowly.

“Is that what you want?” Josh asked.

“No, but it’d give us more time together.” Harry said weakly.

“Not a good enough reason, we’ll get plenty of time together if you take the online semester this next time while I’m filming.” Josh said firmly.

“I just feel like I’m cheating you.” Harry said.

“What happens if they pick you up for next season?” Jensen asked.

“I’ll have about six months back here with clear time and then back out there to film for 3 months for a season’s worth.” Josh replied. “And you won’t be cheating me. I want you to have the career you want.”

Harry looked a trifle put out. “Just trying to work with you is all.”

Josh took his hand. “And I appreciate that, really I do, but I want you to have what you want, not tag along for the ride because you’re afraid you’ll lose something. You’ve got me lock, stock, and barrel. Whether you want me or not, you’re stuck.” 

“I just wanna do right by you.” Harry said worriedly.

“And you are by staying in school and getting your degree.” Josh said.

Jensen looked at them a moment and after a moment spoke. “You know Harry, you finish up and get your Bachelors do some intern work, you can hack a job as Physician’s Assistant. That’s not that shabby.” 

Harry looked considering a moment. “And it’s only one more year and a couple of semesters…” He looked at Josh.

“Would that make you happy?” Josh asked.

“Yeah because then I could be a contributing member of our household.” Harry said.

“You are just by being you.” Josh said touching his cheek.

“That’s sweet of you to say, but you know what I mean. I want to…” Harry thought for a moment.

“You want to earn your own paycheck.” Jared completed for him. Harry looked down embarrassed at being caught out.

“Is that it?” Josh asked him hugging him tightly.

“Mostly…I just don’t want to look like a kept man.” Harry told him.

Josh laughed, “You my love are a great many things, but you are not a trophy husband. I think a lot more of you than that.” After a moment. “Let’s take a walk before we head in for the night.”

“Sound like a good idea for you two.” Jensen said approvingly. 

Jared added, “I think he really does love you more than just for your sexy body. I’ve seen Twinkie Trash as well.” 

“Oh shut up!” Harry said grabbing Josh by the arm. “Walk, you and me, now.”

“See what you started.” Josh said grinning. They headed for the door. 

“Thanks mom, dad.” Harry said grinning.

“If you didn’t have someone to talk to you’d be making all kinds of crazy decisions.” Jensen said.

 

Closing the door Jensen and Jared shared a looked and hugged each other tightly. 

“Are we just that well matched?” Jared asked.

“Evidently so.” Jensen answered. “Come on we can get some study time in before sack time. Oh and don’t forget we’re meeting tomorrow afternoon at the Center to practice for that recital.” 

“I haven’t forgotten. Man, I can’t believe we got that coming up in a week.”

“We got all the copyright stuff handled for our stuff don’t we?” 

“For what we’ll be performing, “Jared started, “yeah, got that all filed last week.”

 

The recital came all too soon for Jared’s liking and here they were standing in the wings while waiting for their cue, after several moments the lights came up on stage, that was their cue. Together they walked out to the applause, they took their seats, and prepared to play. There was a hush stillness in the air then “Chopin’s Concerto in C Minor started with just guitar and cello. They played completely through to an almost dead silence then came the last pick, the last stroke of the bow and then a pause then thunderous applause. The began a medley next of their own compositions that was on the programme. The recital was scheduled for thirty minutes of their playing, then a thirty minute intermission, followed by another forty five minutes of playing. They’d be careful which pieces to select and which to let go. They had also agreed that as they finished each composition to allow the music on their stands to simply fall to their feet. At the intermission the were met backstage with Christian and Chad who held bowls of warm Epsom salted water for them to soak their hands in momentarily then carefully toweling off took the proffered chilled bottles of Gatorade. They felt tacky as they’d sweated that first section of the performance. The second came up and everyone was back in their seats waiting. Again they played, flawlessly, and again there was the applause. The kept their concentration during the whole recital on their music stands, their instruments and each other. Flashes were going off all around them into the second act. They played the final bar, the final chord, and note, and then there was the applause, loud, continuous, and intoxicating. They set instruments aside and stood as one, bowed as one and in a totally impromptu moment kissed as one. The applause if anything got louder.

 

Misha met them backstage when they finished. “You guys are gonna kill me.” 

“What’d you do now?” The applause was still going on. 

“Take your encore first.” Misha said, Jared and Jensen ran back onto stage as the house lights came up. Sure there was an empty seat here and there but for the most part it was packed. And there in the back, and to the sides were professional videographers. Misha had arranged to have the performance professionally recorded. The audience pressed forward slightly which was a cue for Jared and Jensen who walked to the steps at center stage and stepped into the throng, shaking hands carefully, autographing the occasional programme and generally enjoying the press of people. The crowd started to thin out and finally trickled out as friends, faculty and alumni left. They made their way backstage. Misha was waiting looking for all the world like he wanted to find a hole to sink into. They walked up to him and grabbed him in a sweaty hug. 

 

“Gerroff me you great lugs.” He said under the assault. “God you both are drenched!” 

“We’ll shower at home. So how much did the video folk set you back?” Jensen asked.

“Paid out of the proceeds from the sale of the last DVD. This one, I want us contracted on so I brought this.” He pulled out an official looking document. “It’s set up so that you get 50% proceeded from sales, I get 25%, and 25% goes back into production and advertising.” 

“Production…advertising??” Jared started.

“You think this is gonna keep quiet. You thought you were in demand before, this will put your faces out there. We’ll copies of this DVD in Barnes and Nobles, Quattros, and every store that’ll have us. Not to mention sending some to local agents to see if they want to pick you up.” Misha said rolling with it. Christian rolled his eyes at all the hoopla, while Chad applauded. 

 

“You guys did good, although you might think about wearing a condom when you play.” Christian joked. “You’re gonna mess up a lot of suit pants otherwise.”

“Eww, you’re wrong for that Kane, although I will admit to a hard on in the second half. That “Rhapsody in G Minor” gets to me every time.” Jared said with a grin at Jensen. “I can feel you playing me like you do your guitar.”

“Whoa, hold that thought for the bedroom boy scout.” Jensen said with a gasp. 

“Ok, Misha, we’ll go into this deal with you now with options to renegotiate where our half goes later.” Jared said signing the document using Misha’s back for a desk. Jensen signed as well, Christian and Chad witnessed it. 

They walked back on stage to a silent house, packed up their instruments and walked out to the waiting Honda Element. Jensen watched Jared as he drove the short distance. They parked and unpacked their car, then once in the apartment fell into each other’s arms kissing and pushing clothing away.

 

“You know Mr. Ackles-Padalecki?” Jensen started.

“Yes, Mr. Ackles-Padalecki?” Jared replied. 

“I am so totally falling in love with you all over again.” Jensen said pressing a kiss to Jared’s lips.

“I think I can handle that.” Jared smiled and kissed him back tenderly.


End file.
